In Chapter Eighteen, Shippo and Kagome find Sesshomaru, who is entwined in the arms of Kagura. Kagome leaves without a word. Inuyasha mourns the loss of Kikyou. And a silent vow of retaliation is made.
For the record (ahem): I do not own, in whole or in part, any part of the Inuyasha franchise. Nor do I own any of the characters from said franchise that is used forthwith. The following story is solely based on the ramblings of a college student at a boring job and is not to be taken or believed as part of the true Inuyasha saga. That being said, please enjoy my first attempt at fan fiction. Feel free to critique ad nauseum. (Whew!)
Chapter Nineteen – Return to the Simpler Time
Kagome kept running until she ran out of steam. She had forgotten in her embarrassment and fury that she was still exhausted from her short but painful confrontation with Kikyou. I cannot believe that she is dead. My soul is finally whole. But... i don't feel any different.
She sat down on a nearby tree stump to catch her breath and think about things that had happened. Sesshomaru noticed right away that I had my full soul, didn't he? He saw it. I held power in my hand without even having to think about it. It just came to my hand.
Hey! He was cheating on me with that... that... Kagura. I hate her. And him! How could he do that to me, after all we've been through. I was just beginning to love...
She sat up straight and put a hand to her mouth. "No, I wasn't. I wasn't falling in love with him. I... I can't. I love Inuyasha." Don't I?
Come to think of it, I have not really thought about Inuyasha since that night he first made love to me. She blushed at the thought of that night. Kagome remembered the way she had tried to resist him. "Yeah. For all of fifteen seconds." She stood up and started pacing around the large tree that stood in front of her. He is evil. I am not supposed to fall for a man... no, a demon that hates humans as much as he does.
"But he loves Rin. There is no doubt about that. He may have threatened me with her life, but he never intended to hurt on hair on her little head."
Yeah, but he did threaten her with her in the room the last time you threatened to leave. You saw the look on her face. She was horrified. "But, she was crying because she thought he had left her, not because she was afraid for her life. Even when he threatened her, even Rin knew that he wouldn't hurt her."
But he hurt you, didn't he? He may not want to hurt a helpless baby, but he repeatedly caused you pain. He used your emotions against you. Sesshomaru knew that you would not do anything to hurt an innocent person. It was as if he knew you, all about you. No matter how mad I got at him, he used Rin to keep me there, because he knew my conscience would not let me leave her there.
Kagome leaned against the tree and slid down until she was sitting underneath it. She buried her face in her hands, not wanting to think about this anymore. "Yes, he hurt me. But, he did it for Rin's own good."
Did he? Is it really in her best interests to gather her powers, knowing that she will do anything for that demon?
"Yes, I think so. She needs to learn to take care of herself. That is why she is so dependent on him. Because she cannot make it on her own. And she is smart enough to know that."
Okay. What about the other times he hurt you? Have you forgotten about that night, when he left you laying there? "I don't want to talk about it." The night he didn't come back for three days? "But he did come back. He came back to me." No he didn't. He came back to his castle. You sought him out. Like a little puppy. You couldn't stay away from him even then. And then he took you again. And left you again. Do you see a pattern here?
She started crying. "I can't leave him. I love him." What about the one you claim to truly love? What about...
"Inuyasha..." The name was barely a whisper on the wind.
"What?"
Kagome looked up, startled to see his face, so close to her own. He was kneeling on the ground beside her, reaching out a hand close to her face, but afraid to touch her. Is she alright? She was mumbling to herself about loving... me? "What happened, Kagome? You left so fast, I had no idea if you were okay or not. Are you?"
Kagome got up on her knees and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him so close. "Oh, Inuyasha. You have no idea what I have been through. I cannot believe I am gone. That I will never..." She cut herself off, afraid to reveal something that might hurt him. Kagome pulled back a little. "How long have you been here?"
He spoke softly, as if not to disturb her, and his voice was muffled by her hair. "I got her a few moments ago. You were mumbling something about love, and you said my name. What happened there? Did he hurt you?" He was loathe to mention something that would break this wonderful hold she had on him, but needed to know if his brother had hurt her. If he hurt one hair on her head, I will never forgive him.
She pulled back, hearing footsteps coming closer. But, they are not Sesshomaru. He will not come back to you now that he has that Kagura. "No. He didn't hurt me."
Sango was the first one to break the intimate reverie that the pair were having underneath the large old tree in the woods. "Why did he steal you away from us, Kagome?"
She blushed, not wanting to tell them anything that would embarrass her. "Well, he thought that I was getting to powerful, and he didn't want Inuyasha to have another powerful weapon at his disposal."
Inuyasha stood up, his claws clenched so tightly that they drew blood from his palms. "I knew it. I knew he was jealous..."
"Inuyasha, now is not the time for petty sibling rivalry." Sango had heard about enough of Inuyasha's ramblings of how Sesshomaru was so jealous of him and wanted whatever things Inuyasha had. "Was that the only reason he stole you? To keep you from helping Inuyasha?"
Kagome hesitated. "Well, he also wanted me to help Rin. She has miko powers, and should have started training when she was old enough to talk."
"He wants to turn Rin into a miko? Wouldn't that be dangerous to him?" Shippo was getting a little confused.
"Not if she is as loyal to him as she seems. That would be a powerful weapon in his arsenal, a miko on his side." Miroku seemed to see exactly what Kagome was trying not to say. Even when he isn't here I am trying not to make him look as bad as he is. What the hell is wrong with me?
Miroku talked through Inuyasha's ramblings, feeling that this isn't something Kagome needs to hear right now. "Perhaps you should tell us from the beginning what happened while you were with Lord Sesshomaru. Then we can decide what actions to take."
She stood up, trying to decide what to tell and what not to tell. "I don't know if that is such a good idea..." she muttered, looking over at Inuyasha, who was already fuming over what she said.
Again, it was Miroku who had any inkling of the kind of information she was trying to hide. "I understand that Inuyasha will be very upset, but perhaps if you just stick to the main facts, we will know Sesshomaru's true intentions."
Leave it to a lecherous monk to know that I am trying to hide something. "All right..." She began to relate the changes in her life that had taken place over the last few days. But, she kept the most intimate details to herself, still not willing to hurt Inuyasha. He still claimed such a large part in her heart.
By the time she had finished, they had reached Kaede's village, and it was pretty dark outside. Shippo and Kirara had run ahead of them, so that Kaede had a fire going, and some succulent dinner prepared to make the warriors feel better.
Over the soup, Miroku stated his opinion. "I think that he will come back for her, if he truly believes that she is a danger to him. If Kagome can now become truly powerful, now that she has her completed soul, then he will still not want her to be with Inuyasha. We should keep up our guard tonight. He will probably be coming soon."
Inuyasha, finally coming out of his sulking reverie, agreed with the monk. "Right. He does not give up this easily. He told me as much while we were fighting Naraku."
Kagome looked up at this. "You fought with Sesshomaru against Naraku?"
"Feh! We had to. He planned this whole meeting at the castle so that one of us would kill the other. Then he would take out the loser. As much as I want to fight him, it will be on my terms or not at all." He remained silent for a moment after that statement, thinking over how easy it was to defeat Naraku with his brother fighting by his side. "It wasn't really Naraku, anyway. It was a puppet. I was fooled by another damned puppet again. Why won't he show his face? Is he weak or something?"
Miroku choked a little on his soup. "Hardly weak if he can make such a strong puppet. I could not get through the puppet's barrier. I believe he is getting stronger, not weaker. I find it oddly reassuring that at least in the face of a common enemy, we can count on Sesshomaru as a friend."
Inuyasha snorted at that remark. "Hardly. I think the only reason he fought with me is be3cause it was in his own house. Had it been anywhere else, he probably would've turned tail and ran away. Like he usually does."
Kagome couldn't take anymore of this. It was bad enough the guilt she was feeling over the way she had behaved in Sesshomaru's castle. But, the feeling of protectiveness that stole over her when Inuyasha badmouthed his brother was about to let itself known. She got up and walked outside.
"Hey, Kagome. I don't think that this is a good idea..."
Inuyasha started to get up, but it was Sango that stood and kept the hanyou in his seat. "Oh, sit down and shut up. She has been through enough lately. Do you really think she needs to hear all this? What she needs is some peace and quiet. I'll go watch over her." And she left the room as well.
Kagome was sitting on the porch, facing the stars in the general direction of Sesshomaru's castle. Sango sat down beside her, but Kagome barely noticed her presence. She was watching the skies for Sesshomaru, willing him to come and get her. Prove them wrong, Sesshomaru. Tell me that you were not just using me to make Inuyasha jealous enough to lose control. Please, come to me.
"Are you all right, Kagome? You have been awfully quiet upon your return here. Everyone is beginning to get worried. Did he hurt you?"
Kagome wanted so much to confide in someone, anyone. She knew she could trust Sango, she was like a sister. But, she was afraid Sango wouldn't understand. "No, he didn't hurt me. Well, not really."
Sango also looked out towards the stars, nodding. "I know there are some things that you left out of your little tale. I want you to tell me everything. It will do you some good to at least get them off of your chest."
Kagome started to tear up again. "I don't know if I can. I don't want you to hate me."
Sango turned to Kagome and smiled. "I could never hate you, Kagome. You are as dear to me as Kohaku." She sighed, deciding to let out a little revelation of her own. "Besides, I know how it is to do things that may embarrass you in other's company. I went and fell head over heels for a monk who has a notorious wandering eye. Lately, I have this urge to kiss him every time I see him, just to make sure that he feels the same way I do. But I would rather die than tell that to most people. But, I know I can tell you and you won't think less of me for it."
She smiled. She knew what Sango was trying to do, and it was working. Maybe she can help me. It couldn't hurt. And, at least I won't be baring this secret all alone. Deep into the night, the two girls talked heart to heart, about things that neither would ever tell another living soul.
Sesshomaru was not expecting the wind witch to kiss him, so he was completely unprepared for this new attack. He had known that Kagome was nearby, and wanted to dispose of this pest before she came in. He wanted a few moments alone with her before Inuyasha came in between them, to tell her how he felt. To really tell her how he felt about her leaving him.
But now, instead of his trying to get her to stay with him, he was trying to free himself from Kagura's grip when Kagome entered the room with the little kitsune. To all the world, it looked like a romantic tryst.
"Kagome." He had tried to talk to her, to explain the situation, but was again caught off guard by the change in her. She was different; stronger. In the present situation, he was having trouble making his wishes known, because he wanted to hold this new Kagome close to him, to make her his right now.
She defeated Kikyou. Without help from me. And now she has full control of her powers. She doesn't need you anymore, old boy. If she wants to leave there is nothing you can to do stop her, short of fighting her. And she will defeat you, because you will not do anything to hurt her. Because you love her too much. You always have. Instead of being honest with her, you were too afraid to scare her away. And now, she thinks you would rather be with Kagura.
He was not paying very close attention to what he was saying to her, because his mind was buzzing, trying to think of something to say to make her stay. The only time he lifted his head out of this reverie was when she flew out of the room. And so fast, he didn't even see which way she went.
He was about to leap after her, but an acidic voice behind him stopped her. "Leaving so soon, Sesshomaru?" He turned to Kagura, who had regained her former composure and was standing with her fan at the ready. "And I could have sworn you enjoyed that kiss just as much as I did."
Turning about to face her, he got his poison whip at the ready. "I have had just about as much of you as I can stand. Ever. Prepare to die, witch."
She decided to play with him just a little bit longer, playing with the fire that burned in his eyes. "Ah, are we upset, Sesshomaru? I would have thought you would expect her to leave you when Inuyasha came up here. After all, she knows him better..."
"Shut your mouth, Kagura."
"She trusts him more..."
"You say too much, woman," His eyes seethed red fury.
"And, let us not forget that Inuyasha is a whole man. Whereas you are...not." She ended that little jibe with a little twittering laugh, insinuating that there was more lacking in him than just a missing arm.
That was more than he was willing to take from her. With a growl of anger, he slashed at her with his poison whip, but she easily moved out of the way. Again and again he tried to hit her, but she was just one step ahead of him. 'You forget that I am made out of the winds. I can feel your move before it comes anywhere near me."
Kagura opened her fan and sent the wind blades flying at him, slashing his robes and drawing blood from his arms and legs. He drew his blade, the Tokijin, and deflected the next attack she sent him, but it tore his room to shreds.
"I will not be defeated that easily, Sesshomaru. You had a chance to fee me, and to be with a real equal. We could have ruled the world together. But, now you have been spoiled and are no longer worth my time. So, die, Sesshomaru!" She whipped her fan around and caused a huge funnel to surround him.
The wind funnel began picking up everything around him, whipping it at such a speed that they started lashing out at him. He was cut allover, blood leaking out from his face and hands, body and feet. He drew the Tokijin up over his head, but could find no clear angle to strike. It is too close, I cannot wield the Tokijin in here. He looked up, but saw no way out through the top. And all the objects flying around him so fast were being whittled by the wind into deadly daggers and knifes, flying at him at top speeds. I cannot jump through it, the objects will kill me before I get halfway through.
There had to be a way out. I must get to Kagome. I need her, whether or not she needs me. I will not let her leave me like this. But, she was gone. And he was now trapped in a deadly funnel that was starting to enclose on him.
Sesshomaru heard Kagura laughing at him. "How on earth do you think you can defeat me now? There is no way you will win here."
He also felt a presence in the room that set his heart beating faster. "Kagome..."
The last thing Sesshomaru saw before the blood loss caused him to blackout was a large blue shaft of fire and light, and Kagura's scream of surprise. Then it was over.
"Perhaps it would just be better if I went home. I need time to think all of this out without either of them intervening."
Sango nodded her head in agreement. "I understand what you mean, but running away is not going to solve your problems. You should know better than that by now. Inuyasha has been lost without you."
Kagome looked up at that. I thought she was going to help make things clear. But, she just seems to want to push me into Inuyasha's arm.
"If you leave him before you have at least talked to him, before you have told him that you are truly all right... well, he did turn into his demon form when you were taken..."
"He... he did?" Sango nodded. "How did you guys calm him down?"
Sango was loath to tell her the truth. "Kikyou used her small piece of your soul to control him. She couldn't calm him completely, but gave him enough room that his conscious mind was able to regain control on its own. But..."
"But now she is gone." Kagome stood up. "I understand. Go in there and tell him that I want to talk to him. I might as well get this over with now." She walked over to the sacred tree and waited.
Sango reluctantly did as she was told. Kagome sure is in a hurry to leave. Perhaps she really does just want to leave us all. She went in and found Inuyasha sulking alone in a corner. "She wants to talk to you now, Inuyasha. Don't be so hard on her, Inuyasha. From what she has told me, she has been through enough already. You don't want to make her cry again, do you?"
He stood up, ready to retort to what Sango just said. But, she's right. I have been to hard on her. Try to remember that she has been with Sesshomaru for days. She is quite frail right now. Inuyasha walked outside and saw Kagome standing by the sacred tree, looking again up at the stars. She looks so beautiful right now. More so than usual. And so untouchable. "Kagome?"
She did not turn around, not sure if looking in his eyes would make her falter in her will to leave. "I want to go home."
He gasped. "But, Kagome..."
She rushed on. "I need to see my mother. I am not usually gone this long, and I bet she is terribly worried about me."
"What happened at that castle that has you up in arms?" He prodded, not wanting to even talk about her leaving him again.
"Nothing. He treated me just fine. This has nothing to do with Sesshomaru."
He lowered his head. "You are lying, Kagome. I can hear your heartbeat quickening."
"I am not lying, Inuyasha..."
"Did he hurt you?" Hi hand went to the hilt of his sword in anger. "If he touched even one hair on your head..."
"Inuyasha, stop."
"And I will hunt him down and kill him with my own two hands."
She finally turned to him. "Inuyasha, don't ask me to tell you what went on up there. It will only anger you and will do neither of us any good."
He stopped short at those words. His breath caught in his throat, and he looked up into her sad brown eyes. It sounds almost as if... "You're protecting him, aren't you?"
Now it was her turn to lower her head. "Please, Inuyasha. No more questions. Just let me go home and figure this all out first."
He came up to her and grabbed her arm, a little rougher than he wanted to. "No. Not until you answer my question. How has he gained such power over you that you protect him?"
Tears clouded her vision of him, but she could still see the anger welling up in his face. "He has not gained any power over me. I just don't want you to fight him over me. Why can't you understand?"
Why wouldn't I understand?" He thought for a moment. No, it couldn't be. "Unless, you care for him?"
Kagome said nothing. That told him more than he wanted to know. "But... But you are mine. You belong to me, Kagome."
She wrenched her arm free. "I belong to no one! I am not a piece of property to be kept or sold at will. I am a human being, with feelings." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I tried to spare you all of this, Inuyasha. Because I don't know my heart yet either. I am so confused. Just let me go home where I can think in peace."
He did not move from where he stood, his hand still out where it was holding Kagome's arm. "Do you love him?"
"Yes." She turned again to face the old tree. "And I love you. But, I don't know which one is real. I am so confused."
He came up behind her, putting his hands very gently on her shoulders and standing close behind her. "Kagome, you never told me you loved me before."
"Because I was always afraid you thought of me only as another tool to finding the jewel shards. I do have feelings for you, Inuyasha. But I also have some for your brother. Only..."
"What?"
"They are different feelings. More overwhelming and confusing."
He was afraid that she would leave him right now. "Then rest easy. Stay here tonight, and we will escort you to the well tomorrow. Just, know that whatever you decide, you are always welcome here. By everyone. Even me."
She turned in his arms and hugged him, letting a single tear flow down her cheek. "Thank you, Inuyasha. You don't know how much I need your support right now."
Coming Soon – Chapter Twenty – Bent But Not Broken
Kagome stands at the well, ready to return home, but pauses, thinking about recent events. Sesshomaru tries to get to the well in time, to tell her how he really feels about her.