In Chapter Nineteen, Kagome returns to Kaede's village with the troupe, and relates a condensed version of her story to rapt listeners. Inuyasha and Kagome hash through some sorted feelings. Sesshomaru squares off against Kagura.
For the record (ahem): I do not own, in whole or in part, any part of the Inuyasha franchise. Nor do I own any of the characters from said franchise that is used forthwith. The following story is solely based on the ramblings of a college student at a boring job and is not to be taken or believed as part of the true Inuyasha saga. That being said, please enjoy my first attempt at fan fiction. Feel free to critique ad nauseum. (Whew!)
Chapter Twenty – Bent But Not Broken
Kagome was sitting beside Sesshomaru, in the courtyard under his large oak tree, just resting in his arms. He had a small smile of contentment on his face, watching leaves fall as autumn made its presence known. "I don't think life can possibly get any better than this," she muttered as she snuggled closer.
He murmured his agreement. "I don't think I could move from this spot, even if I wanted to."
As they were talking of contentment, a gurgling yelp came from the entrance to the courtyard. Jaken ran in, being hit on the butt by a little blue arrow. "Keh, not again. Haven't we told her to leave the poor little toad alone? He is too old to keep playing like this."
Kagome sat up a little bit in his arms, but his steel grip did not let her go far. "Don't you want me to stop her?" She said with laughter clear in her voice.
'No. Let Rin. That is her duty right now. I don't feel like letting you go just yet."
Rin, in her soft pink kimono that draped over her awkward pre-teen form came running in; behind a little girl with ebony hair and a little willow bow. She couldn't have been older than three, laughing at true delight at Jaken's mumblings about the arrow.
Rin looked up at her parents and smiled. "Sorry. She got away from me again. I think she will be able to outrun even you in a couple of years, Sesshomaru-sama." She picked the little girl up and brought her over to the couple under the tree.
She laughed and wriggled as she was put into her mother's arms. "That's okay, Rin. I know how impossible it can be to keep a little girl in line. I had problems with you too, if you recall." Rin did not answer, but her hot pink blush said that she remembered the trouble she used to give Jaken. Point of fact, she still did from time to time. But, after the night he tried to save her life, she only directs her practice on a target. Picturing Kikyou's face.
Sesshomaru laughed as he tickled the little hanyou in her mother's arms until her golden eyes sparkled with mirth. "Like your mother did not have problems with you."
Kagome smiled up at him, and he looked down to see the mating mark on her neck. He bent his head to nuzzle it. She grinned and leaned her head back, letting him nuzzle a little closer. "Sesshomaru, when is Inuyasha coming back here."
He didn't even look up at that remark. "Never," he said into her neck. He had formed a grudging truce with his brother, but he still harbored ill will for what he tried to take from him.
"You know you have nothing to worry about. I only love him like a brother. Or brother-in-law."
He groaned at this and began kissing the mating mark on her neck, trying to divert her away from what he knew she was going to say next.
But, Kagome did continue, only with a little more difficulty. "Sesshomaru, I think you need to wake up now."
He groaned. His arms felt even heavier around her now, as if he truly couldn't lift them. "I do not want to ever wake up, if this is a dream."
She gave a husky little laugh. "You have to. You need to find me. Make me believe that you love me."
The weights on his arms made them slowly fall away from around her. "Do not say this. You know I love you."
She turned and looked up at him, but this time it seemed to him that she was looking a little down at him. "Wake up. Or this will never come true... I've done all I know how to do... Wake up, Sesshomaru-sama... please..."
Sesshomaru woke from a dream, still groggy with heavy sleep and lethargic from loss of blood. He tried to lift his hand to his head, but felt too weak to move it. He opened his eyes, and saw Rin by his side, putting a poultice on his arm and trying not to cry.
She didn't know that he had awoken. "Please, Sesshomaru-sama. You have to wake up. Please wake up. I don't know what else to do."
"Rin, I am awake. Stop your crying and tell me why I can barely move."
She jumped at his words, and barely resisted the impulse to hug him. "Thank goodness you are awake, Sesshomaru-sama. I was running out of ideas. Kagome had not the chance to teach me how to bring someone back when they have been so badly injured."
"How badly was I injured?"
Jaken stepped up from his resting place in the corner to faithfully answer that question. "You were bleeding from head to foot. There was barely a place that you were not torn from the wind funnel that Kagura placed on you. If we had not arrived when we did, you would have been dead for sure."
He looked incredulous at that statement. "I saw a blue arrow. I thought that Kagome..."
Rin, blushing, interrupted him. "That was my arrow, Sesshomaru-sama. I had never seen that much magic come out from my arrows before, but she told me that she tends to be more powerful when the danger is greater. Jaken and I both shot magic at that lady, to stop her from killing you."
He turned his head a little to Jaken, who was also blushing with pride. "Yes, master, you should have seen it, she looked even more powerful than that miko who was training her. You would have been very proud."
He leaned back and closed his eyes. "So. Kagura is dead."
Rin drooped her head a little, looking up at him through her eyelashes. "Yes. But..."
"But what?"
Jaken intervened. "I do not think that we killed her."
Again he opened his eyes and looked at the pair of them. "What do you mean?"
The little toad stumbled over his words, afraid that Sesshomaru would get angry. Rin tried to finish the explanation. "Well, we fired at her, but I saw just before my arrow reached her, that she clutched her chest and screamed. I think she died before we hit her."
With a curt growl of frustration, Sesshomaru tried to get up. It took all the power he could muster not to scream with the pain shat shot through his body when he only managed to shift his legs a little. Every muscle cried out in pain. What did that Kagura do to me? I cannot move.
As if reading his thoughts, Jaken managed to find his voice. "You were caught up in her wind tunnel, my Lord. She harnesses the power of the wind to turn everything in the vicinity into a weapon. Rin and I were pulling fragments of wood and jade out of your body for over an hour. You are healing fast though. No demon on earth is as powerful as my Lord Sesshomaru."
Rin tried to sound like Kagome, in an attempt to keep Sesshomaru down. "He is, but he still needs rest. He cannot heal if he does not rest."
He knew she was trying to be grown up, but he could not stand being babied, even by her. "This will not do. I must find Kagome."
"She ran home hours ago, Sesshomaru-sama. She left us. She even left her friends, and they came to get her."
This had him worried. If she left even her friends behind then where would she be going? The answer came to him instantly, and he bolted upright in the bead. This caused the little poultice bandages Rin had made to slip off, and several larger wounds reopened. "I have to find her. I gave her no permission to leave."
Rin's eyes began to tear. "You cannot leave like this. You will get hurt again, Sesshomaru-sama. This is all I know how to do, and if you move, it will not work."
He was torn between trying to actually comfort Rin, or do what his instincts told him and drag Kagome back here. I should have made her mine long ago, when she first submitted to me. Before she could have protested. Then I would be within my rights to drag her back. Now, she will run to my damned brother, Inuyasha, for help. And he will be all too glad to let her. He relishes the power he has over her, because she feels tied to him. Because she loved him in another body, does not mean she must love him now. Again he tried to get up, but his body would not let him go any further. With a grimace and a low groan, he let Rin lower him back down to the bed. That bitch is keeping me from Kagome tonight. She had better be dead. This is the only night I will lay low. Don't go, Kagome. Wait for me.
Rin sensed his surrender and began to reapply the bandages. He put a hand on her arm, growing tired of the less than fresh smell of the poultice. "I think a nice bouquet of pink flowers will do me better than this poultice, Rin."
With only a smile, she was off like a shot. Jaken stayed behind with his master, but one look from Lord Sesshomaru and he was calling after her. "Wait, Rin! You do not know which one the Master prefers..."
"Kagome?" Shippo softly called to her as he nudged her shoulder. He was sent by Sango to wake her up. Inuyasha was so upset by her leaving that he did not want to wake her up at all.
"If she wants to sleep so bad, just let her sleep," he had said. I hate to do it, but I agree with Inuyasha. I don't want her to go. This is the first time I have actually been scared that she will decide never to come back.
But, he tried again to wake her. "Kagome, wake up." She sure is sleepy. No doubt the last few days have been real hard on her.
"I'm awake Shippo. Tell Inuyasha that I will be out in a minute." She rolled over, facing away from him, and stayed there. She didn't want him to see her get up. Because, then Shippo would see the tears in her eyes and start trying to make her stay again.
I don't want to go, either. But I don't know where I belong. Now that I am back here, I don't know if the gang would understand and let me stay with Sesshomaru. I don't even know if he would let me stay with him. He would probably prefer Kagura, with her powers she would be a great addition to his arsenal.
Shippo had finally left and she had got up in a huff. Oh! I bet he just thinks of me as another weapon that he could wield in battle, just like he accused Inuyasha of doing. Just like he wants to do with Rin. The thought of Rin stopped her mental bashing of him for a moment. Rin. I don't care what he tells me, I know that he cares for her. He would not use her for a weapon. He wants her to be able to take care of herself.
Kagome went through the motions of getting dressed, in her old school uniform again, and putting her things away in her bag. She reached for her ivory brush that she had used while she was at Sesshomaru's castle. That's right; it isn't mine. None of it was. Not even that green kimono I wore yesterday is mine, really. She started to unpack it, but couldn't bring herself to pull it out of her pack. It reminded her too much of what she was losing. It was too much like a family. A weird one, true. But a family. He cannot be as bad as what I seem to want to make him out to be. But... then why would he be kissing Kagura if he wanted me to stay? Maybe he did not expect me to be jealous?
She laughed at that thought. "Keh! If he did not want me to be jealous, then he would not have brought me there in the first place. He doesn't know me very well if he thinks I won't get jealous when someone tries to steal my..." She was caught up short by her words. I was about to say boyfriend. I wanted to be with him so badly that I was ready to kill Kagura. Just because she had kissed Sesshomaru. And I wanted to make him feel as bad as he made me feel by kissing her. I wanted to make him feel... anything. Sometimes I get the impression that he is just as caring as his brother is, and other times I know that he tries to deny that he feels anything at all.
"Kagome, are you all right?" Sango poked her head in the door.
"Coming. Just wanted to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything."
"You don't have to worry about that. I mean, you are coming back. Aren't you?"
I don't know if I can take seeing either one of them right now. "Of course I am. But... never mind. Let's go." She left the hut and the gang began the short journey to the well.
If he had just come for me. If he had told me he wanted me to stay...
Everyone walked to the well in almost complete silence, as if speaking would make things worse. Sango and Miroku walked side by side, Shippo was riding on Kirara's back. Even Kaede had come along, for she too feared this time that Kagome would not come back. Inuyasha was the only one who was not sad. He looked downright mad, throwing hateful looks at Kagome every once in a while, when he thought no one was watching.
Why did everyone have to come along? They are making it look like we are sending Kagome to her death. Inuyasha gave a little snort at that, which made Shippo's ears perk up. Probably because they know that Sesshomaru might come and steal her away again. Like I need their help against my own brother.
But what if she wants him to come for her? She has been acting kind of strange, she pretty much begged me last night to let her leave. As if I could stop her. What is she runnin' away from? Doesn't she know I'll protect her, like I always do? Is she that afraid of him?
Inuyasha was at a loss. He knew that Sesshomaru stole her from him because he saw her as a threat. But, he sure wasn't acting like she meant nothing more than that yesterday, while we were fighting Naraku. Naraku knew something about them that I didn't. Because, the moment he mentioned her name, Sesshomaru swore at him. I had never seen or heard him do anything like that before. Almost as if... as if he were protective of her. Like I am.
Inuyasha stopped dead in his tracks, causing Miroku to stop short and jerk Sango back to stop her from running into the hanyou. He cares for her too! How long has this been going on?
"Uh, Inuyasha? Is there some reason why we are stopped in the middle of the road like this?" Miroku said, with a little smirk on his face. This he didn't mind so much, because it gave him an excuse to pull Sango close to his side.
Inuyasha looked around; all eyes were staring back at him. "Huh? Oh, nothing. I just thought I heard something, that's all. Let's keep going." He watched as Kagome perked up a little, looking around.
I bet she's looking for him. She wants him to come for her. Why does she feel this way about him? She said that she loved me, and that she loved him. But, she can't love us both!
It was these thoughts that had Inuyasha steamed by the time they had gotten to the well. When Kagome just stood there, looking down into the dank, dirty well, he prodded her. "Well, Kagome? Go home."
She turned to look at him. "You in such a hurry to be rid of me, then?"
He braced his legs and balled his fists. "What do you mean, I want to be rid of you? Ever since you came back yesterday you said that you wanted to go home. There's the well, now go home. Nothing is stopping you."
Kaede intervened, sensing that emotions were already running too high. "Inuyasha. Do not be in such a hurry for her to go. We want to say goodbye."
"What's the point? Just leave, Kagome. Go." He came nearer to her, and she felt that he was threatening to push her in. He had done it before.
"Go! 'Cause you know what? You aren't the same since you left with him. Before you left, you had a mind of you own. You told people what you wanted. You didn't let people push you around. Now, all you do is cry that you don't know what to do."
Shippo jumped onto Inuyasha's shoulder. "Inuyasha! What are you doing?"
But, he just shoved the kitsune off his shoulder and kept going. "You know what I think? I think he broke you."
"What are you talking about?" Kagome was confused with the way Inuyasha was acting. It wasn't like him to act this way.
"You are broken! You don't want to do anything for yourself anymore, Kagome. Sesshomaru won't want you anymore. A broken weapon is worthless to him!"
"I am not broken!" She took a deep, shuddering breath, trying not to cry in front of him. "I am just... confused. I don't know what to do; where to go. I don't want to hurt you, Inuyasha."
"Feh! Don't worry about me. I don't need anybody. If you go; go. I don't care."
She looked at him, hurt evident in both their eyes. "Yes, you do," She said, barely above a whisper. She knew what he was doing, and it proved that he cared. Despite the hurt he was probably feeling over her confession last night, he wasn't going to do anything to try and make her stay if she didn't want to.
"Well... what matters is what you want. The rest of us will deal with whatever you decide."
Kagome was openly crying now. She started pacing the ground in front of the well, heedless to the panicked looks Shippo and Kaede were giving her. To them, it looked a little like she had gone off the deep end. "What I want, what I want. How am I to know what I want? I go through life thinking that I am in love with you. Then, the first sign of separation and I throw myself into someone else's arms."
Sango looked at Inuyasha when Kagome said that. She had sworn last night not to tell anyone about the romantic side of her stay at the castle, but had wanted to tell Inuyasha how Kagome really felt about his brother. Give him a little warning. It was not hidden from anyone, how much he cares for her. But, she never expected Kagome to just blurt it out like that, in front of everyone. Even Miroku was surprised.
"Yeah, that's right. He kissed me, and I kissed him back. Again. And again. And stupid me, I fell in love with him, the selfish jerk!" She hit her forehead, and stopped scanning the tree line looking for any sign of Sesshomaru. "Just when I begin to think that he feels something for me – anything! – I see him in the arms of someone else. So what am I to think?
"What do I want? I want to go home, where I can think without having to worry about stepping on someone else's feelings. Where whoever I am with won't be influencing my decisions." She turned and looked straight into Inuyasha's confused golden eyes. "Inuyasha, when I am here with you, all I can think about is how my decision will affect you; how it will hurt you. But, when I was with him, all I could think about was how it felt to be near him. How much I wanted him to feel the same. But he doesn't. And I don't know how I am supposed to feel about that. And here you are, acting like a big baby, and the only thing I can think about is how much you two are alike. You both have to have all or nothing. I don't know what to do."
Suddenly, there was a movement from behind the group. Everyone turned and saw Sesshomaru. He was standing proud and tall, like he always had, but Kagome saw something deeper in his eyes. He looked hurt, and very tired. "Then go home. Think about all that troubles you."
He walked through the small crowd to stand directly in front of Kagome. Extending out a clawed finger, he gently raised her chin to look up, seeing only him. "And then, come back to me." He motioned his head towards his brother, who was standing in complete shock that Sesshomaru had come, only to let her go. "His pride will mend, whatever you choose. And my heart..." He stopped for a moment, thinking about how lonely his life would be without her spirit in it. Could I bear to be without her, now that I am sure that she is the one I want? That doesn't matter. This is her decision. I cannot force her. If I do, she may never forgive me. "It will mend as well. But this is your life. Be certain that whom you choose will make you happy."
Sesshomaru lowered his head and placed a feather light kiss on her forehead. When she looked up again, she felt like running into his arms and screaming for him not to let her go. She wanted him to take the decision out of her hands, so she wouldn't have any guilt about leaving Inuyasha. But, she knew he wouldn't. Without another word to anyone, she leaned back and fell through the well.
Inuyasha woke up early that morning, feeling a presence in the air that he had grown tired of. "Not again, dammit." He got up quickly and ran to the well. Kagome wasn't there, of course. Why would she be back so soon? I would be surprised if she came back before the next new moon. That was two weeks away. He sniffed the air, finding what he had hoped had been the remnants of a bad dream. "It's only been three days, Sesshomaru. Go home."
He looked up to see his brother, reclining high in the tree closest to the well. Sesshomaru had a bird's eye view of the well, and would know the moment she had materialized within it. Sesshomaru looked down at his brother, trying to suppress a growl. "You have grown very fond of that expression, brother. Why not try it out yourself."
Inuyasha jumped into a tree next to his brother, where he could look eye to eye with him. "You are all talk lately, Sesshomaru. What is wrong with you? You come this close to me; you have to expect a fight. But, you haven't even brought your sword."
Sesshomaru contemplated ignoring him altogether. But, he knew that would be a feat he still was not up to doing. "I promised her I would not harm any of her friends."
"Feh! Like you could lay a hand on me." But his brother was not falling for his bait. All his pent up frustration over wondering what she will do was going to waste on his brother. "Why don't you just kill me and take the responsibility off of her shoulders? Or maybe I should do that for her."
"I will not dignify your question with a response. You are merely trying to pick a fight with me."
"How do you feel about her?"
Sesshomaru looked Inuyasha in the eye. "I love her. I want her to be my mate."
"Feh. You do not."
He riled at this. "Do you think I lie to you? You are beneath my notice, but I speak the truth to you." He took a calming breath and returned his stare to the well.
"Why am I beneath your notice? Because I am a half breed?" When his brother didn't respond, he was spurred on. "Well, she is human. Completely human. And if you do mate with her, any child she has will be a half breed. Just... like... me." Take that.
"I know."
When Sesshomaru still did nothing but look down into the well, Inuyasha jumped over to another branch, right beside his brother. "Then why am I beneath you? Tell me the truth, oh great lord." He gestured his hands in a wild imitation of Jaken.
Sesshomaru sat up and growled at his brother. "Do you want to know Inuyasha?" His brother nodded, smiling with his teeth bared. "Because of our father. When he mated with your mother, he forgot everything else in life. His world revolved around your mother; around you. When he needed our help to defeat his mortal enemy, I was there, right by his side. And you weren't. But, that wasn't enough for him. He lost and died that day, but as he lay dying, all his thoughts were on you. His last words were for you. He had none for me. Even after death, he gave you the mightiest sword, the Tetsusaiga. I am surprised he left me anything at all."
He jumped down to the ground and walked over to the well, looking deep into it. Inuyasha came up behind him, not believing what he was hearing. "I decided then and there that I was going to prove that I was better than you. He may have not spared me another thought, but I was not going to save any of mine for you. I am a full demon, and ruler of the western lands. Who are you? You are nobody.
"But, when Kagome came out of the well the first day, you had to be the first one she found, pinned to that tree. You knew she was Kikyou's reincarnation as well as I did; so you kept her for yourself."
He turned to face his brother at that point, bringing their glares nose to nose. "But, I saw her first, and she is mine. You had your chance, and lost it. This is my turn. I even took Rin in because she reminded me so much of Kagome, but I love only her. And I don't want you or any of her friends standing in her way when she comes back to me."
Inuyasha laughed, right into his brother's face. "And what if she chooses me?"
This time, Sesshomaru lost control. He grabbed his brother by the shirt at his throat. "Then I will convince her the error of her ways. But, if she chooses me, you will not touch her. Understand?"
"Hey! That's not fair."
He let Inuyasha go, standing back and eyeing him suspiciously. "You certainly seem less than worried. What if she chooses to leave you?"
"Don't worry about me. I don't care if she leaves or not." Even Inuyasha didn't believe those words, so he said softly, "As long as she's happy."
Before they could say any more, they heard a noise in the well. Kagome had indeed returned. Both brothers jumped back, a little surprised. She has impeccable timing.
As she emerged, she saw two pairs of golden eyes staring intently back at her. "Well, this is a greeting I certainly didn't expect. Why aren't you two killing each other like you usually do?" She was trying to make light the tense moment.
Sesshomaru reached out a hand to pull her out of the well. "Because there are more important matters at stake than who is the better fighter." Everyone also noticed that he did not release it when she stood outside the well.
Inuyasha should have agreed, but instead muttered under his breath, "I am," which got him a withering look from both his brother and Kagome. "What have you decided?"
"Can't you even say hello to me first?"
"Hello. What have you decided?"
"I want to go to the hut first."
Inuyasha was getting frustrated with her hawing. "No. What have you decided?"
She sighed and sat down on the lip of the well. I had wanted to wait until I could get him alone to tell him this, but I guess now is as good a time as any. "I am going to stay here."
Sesshomaru pulled his hand away from her as if he had been burned. She chose him over me? Why does everyone prefer this bloated puppy to me? What power does he possess that I do not? "Why?" Was all he said out loud.
"Sesshomaru, it isn't what you think. I made a promise; to everyone. We still need to find the jewel shards, and I am the only one who can see them. I need to stay with them until then. It is the only way."
He wasn't listening. He couldn't hear anything through the rushing sound in his ears. He had been sure that she would choose to stay with him. He loved her. Didn't she know that? Everyone else seemed to be able to sense that, why couldn't she? I can't go back to that castle without her. It is too lonely there. Rin keeps bothering me to bring her back, and Jaken is impossible without her around.
Inuyasha waived a hand in front of Sesshomaru's face, as if he were suddenly blind. "Did you not hear anything she just said, stupid?"
Sesshomaru raised his hand to strike, but Kagome leaped in between them, looking at him as if he had gone mad. Inuyasha just laughed. "He didn't even hear you say it, Kagome. Go on, tell him again."
She looked at Inuyasha as if she wanted to hit him herself. "I will not say it again. If he didn't hear it, then it is obvious he didn't want to hear it. I will not stoop so low."
As Kagome walked away, Inuyasha looked at his brother and said, "Now, who does that sound like, I wonder?" When Sesshomaru said nothing, Inuyasha sighed. "Go after her, stupid."
Kagome did not get far alone before Sesshomaru descended upon her, snatching her close to his chest. "Tell me again what you said, miko."
"No," she said, snuggling close to his chest. Let him feel a little of what I have been feeling these past few days without you.
He rested his chin on her head, tired from his vigil by the well. "Please."
"No." But, this time, it was much softer and almost a sigh.
He knew just what to say then. "Kagome..."
She looked up at him. "I said that when I finish collecting the jewel shards, I want to go with you. I love you, Sesshomaru. But I made a promise to retrieve the shards, because it was me who broke them. Mother told me to put honor before love, and get my responsibilities out of the way. That way, nothing stands between us."
His heart hurt so bad he felt like crying. "You could stay with me. I will help you look for them."
"But if I stay with you, I will never bother looking for them. This way, I will find them quicker."
He squeezed her tighter to him, trying to express his relief that she loved him and would rather be with him. "Then, I will help you find them."
She laughed at that thought. "You will not. You and Inuyasha would kill each other. It would never work."
He leaned down and kissed her smiling lips. "I would endure anything, love, if it would bring me closer to having you all to myself." And he kissed her again. When they both had to breathe again, he continued. "I want you to be my mate."
She laughed at that. "Did you think I would stay with you without marrying you? But, not until after we find all the..."
"You try my patience, miko."
She pulled his face back down to hers, breathing these words onto his lips a moment before kissing them, "I haven't even begun to, Sesshomaru."
This is the final chapter of Bent but Not Broken. I hope you like the end to this little story. I sure had an eye-opening experience writing it. And, I know. People have emailed me that Kagome is off character, but... there is a reason this is called fanfiction. I tried to write in the style of the manga, but it kept changing. After a while, I decided to just let it go and simply follow. If you beg me enough, I have a great idea in mind for a sequel. Until then...
Coming Soon – A New Story – A Forest Full of Souls
The tutor hired to teach Kagome begins to have dreams of playing in a lush forest, but then her dreams turn into reality. And to make matters worse, she is thought to be the head of a wolf tribe that once ruled the Southern Lands.