Title: "Hello"
Author: Catherine Grissom
E-mail: kleopatra_gurl@yahoo.com
Rating: I dunno.PG-13..Probably
Content: Gil/Cath
Summary: The hospital
Disclaimer: Do I look like Jerry Bruckheimer? Anthony Zuiker? No? Glad that's clear. I don't own the song either. The only thing I own is Cath's maiden name.
Archive: If you're sure ya want it, take it. Just tell me where it's going.
Feedback: Yes please.
Author's Note: Sequel to my other fics "I Would Be Stronger Than That", "Black Eyes, Blue Tears" and "Whisper". The song in this one is "Hello" by Evanescence.
Dedication: This is for anybody who wants a dedication.Doesn't matter who you are, it's for you.
Gil waited anxiously in his seat in the waiting room of Desert Palms ER. He'd arrived there with Catherine at least 8 hours ago and as soon as he'd walked in the door she'd been rushed away from him. He figured Jim had called ahead knowing that he'd head to the best hospital he was able to reach. As Catherine had been taken he'd managed to catch several words such as "collapsed lung", "ventilator", and "possible coma." He'd already been worried because she had shown signs of having difficulty breathing, and none of that was reassuring. Warrick a young tech from the lab had come by, apparently on Jim's orders, and had taken Lindsey to school. That had been nearly 4 hours ago.
' Four hours,' Gil mused, 'two hundred and forty minutes. Fourteen thousand four hundred seconds. Lindsey would be eating lunch right about now. Catherine would be waltzing into my office any second with sandwiches wanting.to.' He was unable to complete the thought as a doctor burst through the doors separating staff and patients from friends and family. The doctor seemed to be heading in his general direction, Gil stiffened, not wanting to look weak in front of strangers.
"Is there a Gil Grissom anywhere in here?" the doctor was looking for him. Gil prayed that the news was good.
"I'm he," his hands were trembling.
"Did you bring in a." the other man consulted his charts. "A Catherine Marne?"
Marne? He hadn't even noticed his use of her maiden name. "Yes."
"We have some news for you," the doctor seemed almost unable to look him in the eye. "It isn't all good."
"O-o-ok," he cursed the stutter that appeared when his father was around and when he was afraid. The rain beat a harsh tattoo; filling the momentary silence.
Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
"Ms. Marne slipped into a coma about an hour ago. Her right lung is collapsed due to a rib fracture. As she cannot breathe on her own, she is on a ventilator. Her condition is listed as 'critical'," the doctor finally told him all in one breath. "They say that if she makes it through tonight she has a good chance of pulling through. Is there anyone that you would like to call? To notify? A boss perhaps? Her family?"
'Is this what it feels like? To be on the other side of the news? To be receiving instead of giving?' Gil was so caught up in his thoughts that he hardly noticed the words leaving his mouth, "No, well, yes. I'll call them in a little while."
"I'm very sorry," the doctor said and he was gone.
Gil sank into his seat, weary, and sighed. The sigh was choked by a sob as he finally realized one phrase, 'if she makes it through tonight.'
'I stand amid the roar, of a surf-tormented shore, and I hold within my hand, grains of the golden sand-' His mind taunted him, with the words of Poe as its weapon.
"How few! yet how they creep, through my fingers to the deep, while I weep-- while I weep! O God! can I not grasp Them with a tighter clasp?-" he murmured. Gil usually found solace in the reciting of any snippet of literature that his mind could bring forth, but this was not helping.
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello
Gil continued to whisper, "O God! can I not save, one from the pitiless wave? is all that we see or seem, but a dream within a dream?"
"Edgar Allen Poe, A Dream Within A Dream," Warrick's almost shy voice reached his ears.
"How did you guess?"
"I read too. What's the news?"
"What news?"
"The news that has you so upset that you're quoting Poe."
Gil told him about the coma and the ventilator and the rib and the fact that she shouldn't be here; she should be pestering him to get her a soda, or a meal or whatever. When he reached that point he decided to shut up lest he openly sob.
Warrick merely put his hand on the older man's shoulder and offered to take over the waiting; an offer that was blatantly refused. Before Warrick could offer to tell Brass the news, he was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. It was Nick, another tech. He moved away from Grissom and answered it.
"Warrick."
"Yeah, um, Brass wants to know who's gonna pick Lindsey up and when and he's kinda demanding news."
"He is or the lab is?"
"Both."
After about fifteen minutes an a few "Oh my God's" Warrick informed Nick that he would pick up the girl at school about ten minutes before it let out.
"Hey, Warr?"
"Yeah?"
"How's Gris taking it?"
"If you were married, how would you handle it if your wife were in that situation?"
"Alright. I get the picture. Call when you pick up Lindsey," Nick hung up.
Warrick turned around to notice Grissom walking back towards where the patients were held. He contemplated following for a moment then decided against it. Grissom needed to be alone for awhile.
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
'Catherine would hate this. The walls are beige, she likes blue. The sheets are too white,' Grissom noted, trying to focus on anything except the small, fragile china doll tucked into the bed so carefully. That was not Catherine. In name, yes. In his mind, no. The real Catherine would be saying things like 'that clock does not go with the décor.' Gil smiled fondly. That was the real Cath.
Grissom knew that he was going to wake up any minute with his head on a mile high stack of papers, his Big Mouth Billy Bass watchdog announcing the arrival of a slack and blouse clad strawberry-blonde. But then the machines' beeping interrupted his daydream and brought him back into the living nightmare.
The nightmare that he'd begun.
If only he hadn't argued with her. If only he'd insisted on going with her. If only he'd driven one bit faster. If, if, if.
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
He wondered if Lindsey even knew what had happened to her mother. Catherine had always tried to keep the 'happy family' façade up around her daughter. Lying in order to keep her husband's anger directed away from the child.
Eddie. The bane of Gil's existence. He deserved to be tarred and feathered, castrated, hung, then set on fire, if not much worse.
Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Gil's anger towards Ed was not as strong as his guilt and grief. He broke down. He cried as he had never cried before. Long anguished sobs, all of his hatred towards his father and Eddie, his guilt at his part in recent events, and his grief at his best friend's condition finally surfacing.
Don't cry
Gil couldn't bear it any longer and he staggered from the room. He then proceeded to collapse against the outside wall; the various beeps coming from the machines giving him a rhythm on which to base his breathing.
'It's 3:45. Lins'll be here any.' the cession of the steady beeping caused him to falter in his thinking.
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
The beeping resumed. However, it was not in the staccato rhythm he'd grown accustomed to; it was a long, singular beep. Almost a siren. Gil didn't flinch as doctors, nurses, and various other personnel rushed into the room he had just left.
'It's a nightmare. It's all a nightmare.' And in a way he was right.
Hello I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday
Author: Catherine Grissom
E-mail: kleopatra_gurl@yahoo.com
Rating: I dunno.PG-13..Probably
Content: Gil/Cath
Summary: The hospital
Disclaimer: Do I look like Jerry Bruckheimer? Anthony Zuiker? No? Glad that's clear. I don't own the song either. The only thing I own is Cath's maiden name.
Archive: If you're sure ya want it, take it. Just tell me where it's going.
Feedback: Yes please.
Author's Note: Sequel to my other fics "I Would Be Stronger Than That", "Black Eyes, Blue Tears" and "Whisper". The song in this one is "Hello" by Evanescence.
Dedication: This is for anybody who wants a dedication.Doesn't matter who you are, it's for you.
Gil waited anxiously in his seat in the waiting room of Desert Palms ER. He'd arrived there with Catherine at least 8 hours ago and as soon as he'd walked in the door she'd been rushed away from him. He figured Jim had called ahead knowing that he'd head to the best hospital he was able to reach. As Catherine had been taken he'd managed to catch several words such as "collapsed lung", "ventilator", and "possible coma." He'd already been worried because she had shown signs of having difficulty breathing, and none of that was reassuring. Warrick a young tech from the lab had come by, apparently on Jim's orders, and had taken Lindsey to school. That had been nearly 4 hours ago.
' Four hours,' Gil mused, 'two hundred and forty minutes. Fourteen thousand four hundred seconds. Lindsey would be eating lunch right about now. Catherine would be waltzing into my office any second with sandwiches wanting.to.' He was unable to complete the thought as a doctor burst through the doors separating staff and patients from friends and family. The doctor seemed to be heading in his general direction, Gil stiffened, not wanting to look weak in front of strangers.
"Is there a Gil Grissom anywhere in here?" the doctor was looking for him. Gil prayed that the news was good.
"I'm he," his hands were trembling.
"Did you bring in a." the other man consulted his charts. "A Catherine Marne?"
Marne? He hadn't even noticed his use of her maiden name. "Yes."
"We have some news for you," the doctor seemed almost unable to look him in the eye. "It isn't all good."
"O-o-ok," he cursed the stutter that appeared when his father was around and when he was afraid. The rain beat a harsh tattoo; filling the momentary silence.
Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
"Ms. Marne slipped into a coma about an hour ago. Her right lung is collapsed due to a rib fracture. As she cannot breathe on her own, she is on a ventilator. Her condition is listed as 'critical'," the doctor finally told him all in one breath. "They say that if she makes it through tonight she has a good chance of pulling through. Is there anyone that you would like to call? To notify? A boss perhaps? Her family?"
'Is this what it feels like? To be on the other side of the news? To be receiving instead of giving?' Gil was so caught up in his thoughts that he hardly noticed the words leaving his mouth, "No, well, yes. I'll call them in a little while."
"I'm very sorry," the doctor said and he was gone.
Gil sank into his seat, weary, and sighed. The sigh was choked by a sob as he finally realized one phrase, 'if she makes it through tonight.'
'I stand amid the roar, of a surf-tormented shore, and I hold within my hand, grains of the golden sand-' His mind taunted him, with the words of Poe as its weapon.
"How few! yet how they creep, through my fingers to the deep, while I weep-- while I weep! O God! can I not grasp Them with a tighter clasp?-" he murmured. Gil usually found solace in the reciting of any snippet of literature that his mind could bring forth, but this was not helping.
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello
Gil continued to whisper, "O God! can I not save, one from the pitiless wave? is all that we see or seem, but a dream within a dream?"
"Edgar Allen Poe, A Dream Within A Dream," Warrick's almost shy voice reached his ears.
"How did you guess?"
"I read too. What's the news?"
"What news?"
"The news that has you so upset that you're quoting Poe."
Gil told him about the coma and the ventilator and the rib and the fact that she shouldn't be here; she should be pestering him to get her a soda, or a meal or whatever. When he reached that point he decided to shut up lest he openly sob.
Warrick merely put his hand on the older man's shoulder and offered to take over the waiting; an offer that was blatantly refused. Before Warrick could offer to tell Brass the news, he was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. It was Nick, another tech. He moved away from Grissom and answered it.
"Warrick."
"Yeah, um, Brass wants to know who's gonna pick Lindsey up and when and he's kinda demanding news."
"He is or the lab is?"
"Both."
After about fifteen minutes an a few "Oh my God's" Warrick informed Nick that he would pick up the girl at school about ten minutes before it let out.
"Hey, Warr?"
"Yeah?"
"How's Gris taking it?"
"If you were married, how would you handle it if your wife were in that situation?"
"Alright. I get the picture. Call when you pick up Lindsey," Nick hung up.
Warrick turned around to notice Grissom walking back towards where the patients were held. He contemplated following for a moment then decided against it. Grissom needed to be alone for awhile.
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
'Catherine would hate this. The walls are beige, she likes blue. The sheets are too white,' Grissom noted, trying to focus on anything except the small, fragile china doll tucked into the bed so carefully. That was not Catherine. In name, yes. In his mind, no. The real Catherine would be saying things like 'that clock does not go with the décor.' Gil smiled fondly. That was the real Cath.
Grissom knew that he was going to wake up any minute with his head on a mile high stack of papers, his Big Mouth Billy Bass watchdog announcing the arrival of a slack and blouse clad strawberry-blonde. But then the machines' beeping interrupted his daydream and brought him back into the living nightmare.
The nightmare that he'd begun.
If only he hadn't argued with her. If only he'd insisted on going with her. If only he'd driven one bit faster. If, if, if.
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
He wondered if Lindsey even knew what had happened to her mother. Catherine had always tried to keep the 'happy family' façade up around her daughter. Lying in order to keep her husband's anger directed away from the child.
Eddie. The bane of Gil's existence. He deserved to be tarred and feathered, castrated, hung, then set on fire, if not much worse.
Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Gil's anger towards Ed was not as strong as his guilt and grief. He broke down. He cried as he had never cried before. Long anguished sobs, all of his hatred towards his father and Eddie, his guilt at his part in recent events, and his grief at his best friend's condition finally surfacing.
Don't cry
Gil couldn't bear it any longer and he staggered from the room. He then proceeded to collapse against the outside wall; the various beeps coming from the machines giving him a rhythm on which to base his breathing.
'It's 3:45. Lins'll be here any.' the cession of the steady beeping caused him to falter in his thinking.
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
The beeping resumed. However, it was not in the staccato rhythm he'd grown accustomed to; it was a long, singular beep. Almost a siren. Gil didn't flinch as doctors, nurses, and various other personnel rushed into the room he had just left.
'It's a nightmare. It's all a nightmare.' And in a way he was right.
Hello I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday