Chaosti: I'm sooo soo sorry I didn't specify about Robbie.he's not from
Sydney's past.I made him up. I should have mentioned that in the other
chapter!! Basically the only information I used from the books were in
chapter one.The Vaughn books are awesome although I really did love
"Recruited" and "Sister Spy"
Mary Kate113: Okay, hopefully everything with Madison will be cleared up in this chapter. If you're still concerned, lemme know and I'll clarify everything for ya!!
Alias4ever: Okay, you get your wish!! This chapter explains everything about Sydney and Kilmer!
Kay10197: I'm so glad that you liked it!! Here's another chapter for you to enjoy!
****************************************************
He really couldn't think. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't move. "Sydney." He repeated again, feeling disbelief soaring through him. His heart pounded so loudly that he could barely hear anything else. The music had faded away into a dull buzzing noise. His mouth was so dry that he could only let his mouth hang open.
She knew this was the unavoidable reaction. "Let's get out of here, so we can this done with." She replied in her husky accent.
"But what about the dance?" He answered with the dumbness of a drunken man.
"Screw the dance."
****************************************************
"So, you're alive. After all this time, you're alive. G-d Sydney. You're alive." Kilmer sat by the fire in their little house, attempting to warm himself. Gone were the fancy clothes and elegant manners. There was Robbie Kilmer, back in his comfortable sweatpants and sweatshirt, curled up with a blue green blanket wrapped around him to fight off the Ukrainian air. He shook his head back and forth every so often to try to snap some sense into his own mind. "You have to understand how difficult this is."
Sydney inched closer and looked into the gray eyes that she had missed all these years in the back of her mind. When she was with Danny, she missed him. With Noah and with Vaughn, Robbie Kilmer was always there, haunting her. It was something that she knew she would never get over. "I know. It's hard to take in. But in all due respect, Kilmer, I thought you were dead too. When you relocated, they told me that you died. I was broken and it killed me so much. It hurt me even more when I found out that you were keeping those secrets from me-that you were CIA while we were at SD- 6." She reached forward and took his hands in hers.
"You're alive."
"You're alive."
So, there they sat. There was so much history between the two of them that seeing the other made their hearts equally break. Sydney sat no more than three feet across from him, curled up tightly in her blue sweats with UCLA sweatshirt. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she had scrubbed all the make-up from her face. The safe house, if you even want to call it that, was quiet. Madison was still working to get into comfortable clothes and Vaughn was getting settled in the neighboring bedroom. They were silent and didn't hear the former couple exchanging soft comments in the war torn living room. In all honesty, it wasn't even fair to call it a house. It was a hallway that led to a large room with a small kitchen area and bathroom off to the side. There were three pieces of furniture a rickety old bed, small dining room table with two old chairs, and a small dresser to house closes in. The pieces were old and rusty, the wood badly warped. The walls at one time had beautiful royal blue wallpaper with gold fleur-de-lis. But now, the paper had stripped away and lay in shambles. The floor was hard wood but so badly aged that it was just disgusting now. There was a beautiful stone fireplace that was the only real source of heat in the apartment. Yes, it was more or a less an apartment.
Madison appeared from her bedroom, wearing a long sweater pulled over ivory yoga pants. Her long black hair was twisted into a braid. "I'm sorry we never got a proper introduction. Madison Perkins. I'm his partner." She walked towards Sydney and extended her hand.
"It's quite alright. Things were insane back there. I'm Sydney Bristow." Sydney took her hand and shook it willingly. Instantly, she liked this precocious agent, who was no more than twenty-five.
Madison retracted her hand and looked about the space, "I know this isn't much but it's home and it's your home now too. Yours and Agent Vaughn." She hurried into the tiny kitchen and started to boil water on the gas stove. "Tea sound alright to you? We haven't had coffee in some while and I-"
"Tea's fine, thank you." Sydney replied, pulled her hand stitched blanket tighter around her. "Is it always this cold?"
"Cold?" Kilmer started to laugh, lighting up his whole face, "Sweet pea, we're having a heat wave!"
Now, this didn't go unnoticed by anyone in the room. She hadn't been called that name is such a long time. And Madison had no idea about their history. As luck would have it and that's the way it always went, that's the moment when Vaughn decided to reenter the room.
But it was Madison that broke the awkward ice, "Oh. I need to run to see Ms. Anastasia. Kilmer, are you ready to go?"
"If you want, Ms. Perkins, I'm already dressed. I can escort you." Vaughn offered quickly, finding his coat lying nearby. He glanced at Kilmer and Sydney by the fire, "It'll give you two a chance to catch up and um go over the mission specs." He tried to give both of them a pleasant look but failed rather miserably. Michael Vaughn was always poor at hiding his true emotions.
Madison started to panic, "Kilmer, are you sure you don't want to come?" She emphasized each word and raised her eyebrows accordingly.
But he nodded his head, "Take Agent Vaughn, Madison. It's best that he knows the ropes on these things."
With slight reluctance, she found her coat slung over a nearby wooden chair. "Grab your coat, Agent Vaughn. It's cold out." She buttoned the heavy sheered sheep coat over her body and quickly found her gloves in her pockets. "It's only three blocks down. Anastasia lives nearby."
"Be safe, Maddie!" Kilmer called as he watched the door slam. He turned back to Sydney and sighed. "I always worry about her when she goes out."
"Where's she going?" Sydney inquired, trying to control the shakes that here taking over her body.
"You'll find out soon enough." He replied cryptically. He saw the displeased look that was crossing he face. "It would be easier if we told you and Agent Vaughn at the same time but I think we need to talk." He took a beat and shook his head, "This whole situation is so screwed up. I thought you were dead."
"That goes for you. Sloane told me that you had died on a mission. You were discovered, captured, and tortured and-"
"I know. The truth is that Sloane discovered that I was a double agent and my handler got me into the witness protection program and they kept me there until the Alliance fell. I went back to La office a couple of months ago and I checked that wall-the one with the names of the-and your name was there. G-d Sydney, you were dead. I saw it all the wall."
"They told me as soon as the alliance fell that you were CIA. I know why you couldn't tell me but-" She started to get choked up and cleared her throat uncomfortably.
Without thinking, he leaned forward and felt the former love of his life crash into his chest. His arms were around her back and his kips landed on the crown on her head. "Oh sweet-pea." He pulled her closer and felt her arms wrap around his neck. He stroked her hair lovingly. "You don't know how man times I wanted to tell you-how close I came to almost telling you. I hated to see you fighting for SD-6-thinking that it was the CIA. It killed me so much to leave you."
"But I saw the pictures!" She sat up straight and starred at him with an empty look that went down to the pit of her stomach. "I saw the bullet holes in your head, the lacerations across our body..and you faked the entire thing. The CIA set up your death and sent the pictures to SD-6. You got out." She watched Kilmer nod reluctantly. And that's when she really go choked up.
"You did such a wonderful job in there, sweet pea. My handler kept me updated on you and he said that you were doing better work than anyone anticipated. He also told me about Danny. It was the best thing that you moved on. I was so happy for you."
"Danny's dead." She replied with uncharacteristic coldness.
"I know. That's how you became a double agent. And you worked to bring down the Alliance successfully. You're an incredible agent, Sydney. Absolutely incredible." He started to get a little choked up with this too.
Sydney lurched forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, "You alive, Kilmer. I never thought I would ever see you again. When the Alliance fell, they told me that you had been a double agent but that was all that they said. And then I saw your picture in my docket and I didn't even know." She started to cry now. So much had changed in the past 24 hours that it hurt her so badly. She felt his arms wrap around her body.
"I never thought I would see you again. I heard about your death or disappearance or whatever you're calling it and G-d, Sydney, I never thought you of all people could die. You were invincible." He spoke softly to her through her hair. His touch was so warm and comforting to her. "I missed you so much."
She sniffled slightly and buried her head in his shoulder. "I loved you so much."
"I know. Me, too." They held each other there for a long time and felt like they were back to where they were before his faked death.
"Syd, there's a lot you need to know before Madison gets back." Kilmer spoke up softly, stroking her hair gently.
She sat up slightly and starred into his gray eyes, feeling her heart swell with the emotions of years ago. "What is it?"
"Well, I need you to give me your word that you'll keep this between the two of us. We'll tell Agent Vaughn when he returns but I need to get your word on it. I know I can trust you. Please, Syd; it's important." His brow was tensed with concern and he dropped all physical contact with her. There was something wrong and she felt her blood run cold as he dropped eye contact with her. But she couldn't respond. Something was stopping her. "Sydney, please. Your word!" His voice was constricted with overrunning emotion.
"You have my word." She nodded dumbly.
"Agent Perkins and I, Madison and I, we're together. We've been together since I came out of protection. She's my partner, my first since my days at SD-6 and we've been undercover here in Odessa for I guess about two and a half years. I was taken out as soon as the Alliance fell and the next day, I was bound for here but anyway!" He shook his head as he was getting off of the topic. "Somewhere along the lines, we fell in love. We're going to get married as soon as the assignment is over."
She felt like she had been punched in the stomach. It was the same feeling as when she saw the ring on Vaughn's finger. It was a blow to the belt. But Kilmer wasn't hers. He had died and moved on. She had died and moved on. They were no longer together but there was something missing. She never had closure from him and now he was engaged to someone else. "I- I'm happy for you but I don't understand why you're telling me this."
"Because there's more to the story. Madison and I have a daughter- a little girl, Layla Rose. Langley doesn't know about her and they never can- not until we tell them."
Sydney want to jump to her feet and pace but all she could do was put her hand up to her forehead and think. "You have a daughter?" the lame phrase floated through the air dimly.
"Layla." He replied with some bit of pride.
"You have a daughter." She repeated again.
"You'll be able to meet her as soon as Maddie and Agent Vaughn return. They're picking her up under her alias, Natasha Ziegler and hopefully Mister Vaughn can think quickly on his feet and come up with something equally as charming. Chances are, she'll do all of the talking and talk with Ms. Anastasia and be equal and done with it." Kilmer got to his feet and found himself in the kitchen to pour himself a cup of tea. "Remind me; do you want tea?"
Sydney stared into the fire. Today was the day to end all days. First, she was sent on a mission with Vaughn. His wife is cheating on him with the new NSC analyst. She's undercover with a man that was suppose to be dead HOW MANY YEARS AGO? And, to boot, he's engaged and has a baby. A daughter. Layla.
This was perfect.
This was just perfect.
"Sydney?" He called again, waiting for a reaction. She whipped her head around and starred at him. "Tea?"
"Yeah. Yeah sure." She got to her feet and walked over to the kitchen where Kilmer was pouring water into white chipped teacups. The water's steam swirled around and warmed her frigid skin. "Thank you."
He took a slow sip of his cup and leaned against the worn counter top, "So what have you been up to?" He laughed lamely at his attempt to make conversation.
She shared the laugh lightly, "I've just been working-trying to get my life back on track."
Kilmer nodded slowly; "The worst day was the day that they brought you back, wasn't it? The day that you renewed you license, the taxes, all the paper work. And then you leave the office, and you're alive again. You're considered human again." He remembered that day and cringed slightly at the thought. It was a nightmare and he never felt so empty in his life.
She smiled softly and took another slow sip of her tea. "This is going to be difficult-the mission. I mean, we haven't worked together in a while and Madison and Vaughn have never. It's going to be tough."
"That doesn't sound like the Sydney Bristow I know. It won't be tough. We'll all be fine." He spoke with uncertain confidence. He placed the cup down as he heard the door open. "That must be Madison and Mr. Vaughn. Come on, I want you to meet Layla."
****************************************************
She parted slightly from their embrace, letting her lips keep the tingle from his touch a moment longer. Her brown eyes fluttered slightly as she smiled, watching him do the same. "So, he found the e-mail?" Her lover whispered huskily.
She grinned rather evilly, "Not only did he find it but he was absolutely infuriated by it. He knows about us and didn't even say good- bye to me before he left." She flopped back onto the bed, his bed, and felt the down pillows give beneath her weight. "I'm almost free, darling." She ran her fingertips along his bare back.
Jonathan brushed a stray piece of hair away from her eyes, "Renny, we've almost done it. We're almost there. A few more weeks and we'll be free from the US, free from our employer-free from everyone. You won't be married to that sorry excuse for a man anymore and we, Renny, we can be together. I promise. As soon as we get Michael Vaughn out of the picture, I want to marry you."
Her eyes grew wide, "Really Jonathan? We can finally get married?"
"As soon as Michael is out of the picture-permanently. You will be Mrs. Lauren Ross."
Mary Kate113: Okay, hopefully everything with Madison will be cleared up in this chapter. If you're still concerned, lemme know and I'll clarify everything for ya!!
Alias4ever: Okay, you get your wish!! This chapter explains everything about Sydney and Kilmer!
Kay10197: I'm so glad that you liked it!! Here's another chapter for you to enjoy!
****************************************************
He really couldn't think. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't move. "Sydney." He repeated again, feeling disbelief soaring through him. His heart pounded so loudly that he could barely hear anything else. The music had faded away into a dull buzzing noise. His mouth was so dry that he could only let his mouth hang open.
She knew this was the unavoidable reaction. "Let's get out of here, so we can this done with." She replied in her husky accent.
"But what about the dance?" He answered with the dumbness of a drunken man.
"Screw the dance."
****************************************************
"So, you're alive. After all this time, you're alive. G-d Sydney. You're alive." Kilmer sat by the fire in their little house, attempting to warm himself. Gone were the fancy clothes and elegant manners. There was Robbie Kilmer, back in his comfortable sweatpants and sweatshirt, curled up with a blue green blanket wrapped around him to fight off the Ukrainian air. He shook his head back and forth every so often to try to snap some sense into his own mind. "You have to understand how difficult this is."
Sydney inched closer and looked into the gray eyes that she had missed all these years in the back of her mind. When she was with Danny, she missed him. With Noah and with Vaughn, Robbie Kilmer was always there, haunting her. It was something that she knew she would never get over. "I know. It's hard to take in. But in all due respect, Kilmer, I thought you were dead too. When you relocated, they told me that you died. I was broken and it killed me so much. It hurt me even more when I found out that you were keeping those secrets from me-that you were CIA while we were at SD- 6." She reached forward and took his hands in hers.
"You're alive."
"You're alive."
So, there they sat. There was so much history between the two of them that seeing the other made their hearts equally break. Sydney sat no more than three feet across from him, curled up tightly in her blue sweats with UCLA sweatshirt. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she had scrubbed all the make-up from her face. The safe house, if you even want to call it that, was quiet. Madison was still working to get into comfortable clothes and Vaughn was getting settled in the neighboring bedroom. They were silent and didn't hear the former couple exchanging soft comments in the war torn living room. In all honesty, it wasn't even fair to call it a house. It was a hallway that led to a large room with a small kitchen area and bathroom off to the side. There were three pieces of furniture a rickety old bed, small dining room table with two old chairs, and a small dresser to house closes in. The pieces were old and rusty, the wood badly warped. The walls at one time had beautiful royal blue wallpaper with gold fleur-de-lis. But now, the paper had stripped away and lay in shambles. The floor was hard wood but so badly aged that it was just disgusting now. There was a beautiful stone fireplace that was the only real source of heat in the apartment. Yes, it was more or a less an apartment.
Madison appeared from her bedroom, wearing a long sweater pulled over ivory yoga pants. Her long black hair was twisted into a braid. "I'm sorry we never got a proper introduction. Madison Perkins. I'm his partner." She walked towards Sydney and extended her hand.
"It's quite alright. Things were insane back there. I'm Sydney Bristow." Sydney took her hand and shook it willingly. Instantly, she liked this precocious agent, who was no more than twenty-five.
Madison retracted her hand and looked about the space, "I know this isn't much but it's home and it's your home now too. Yours and Agent Vaughn." She hurried into the tiny kitchen and started to boil water on the gas stove. "Tea sound alright to you? We haven't had coffee in some while and I-"
"Tea's fine, thank you." Sydney replied, pulled her hand stitched blanket tighter around her. "Is it always this cold?"
"Cold?" Kilmer started to laugh, lighting up his whole face, "Sweet pea, we're having a heat wave!"
Now, this didn't go unnoticed by anyone in the room. She hadn't been called that name is such a long time. And Madison had no idea about their history. As luck would have it and that's the way it always went, that's the moment when Vaughn decided to reenter the room.
But it was Madison that broke the awkward ice, "Oh. I need to run to see Ms. Anastasia. Kilmer, are you ready to go?"
"If you want, Ms. Perkins, I'm already dressed. I can escort you." Vaughn offered quickly, finding his coat lying nearby. He glanced at Kilmer and Sydney by the fire, "It'll give you two a chance to catch up and um go over the mission specs." He tried to give both of them a pleasant look but failed rather miserably. Michael Vaughn was always poor at hiding his true emotions.
Madison started to panic, "Kilmer, are you sure you don't want to come?" She emphasized each word and raised her eyebrows accordingly.
But he nodded his head, "Take Agent Vaughn, Madison. It's best that he knows the ropes on these things."
With slight reluctance, she found her coat slung over a nearby wooden chair. "Grab your coat, Agent Vaughn. It's cold out." She buttoned the heavy sheered sheep coat over her body and quickly found her gloves in her pockets. "It's only three blocks down. Anastasia lives nearby."
"Be safe, Maddie!" Kilmer called as he watched the door slam. He turned back to Sydney and sighed. "I always worry about her when she goes out."
"Where's she going?" Sydney inquired, trying to control the shakes that here taking over her body.
"You'll find out soon enough." He replied cryptically. He saw the displeased look that was crossing he face. "It would be easier if we told you and Agent Vaughn at the same time but I think we need to talk." He took a beat and shook his head, "This whole situation is so screwed up. I thought you were dead."
"That goes for you. Sloane told me that you had died on a mission. You were discovered, captured, and tortured and-"
"I know. The truth is that Sloane discovered that I was a double agent and my handler got me into the witness protection program and they kept me there until the Alliance fell. I went back to La office a couple of months ago and I checked that wall-the one with the names of the-and your name was there. G-d Sydney, you were dead. I saw it all the wall."
"They told me as soon as the alliance fell that you were CIA. I know why you couldn't tell me but-" She started to get choked up and cleared her throat uncomfortably.
Without thinking, he leaned forward and felt the former love of his life crash into his chest. His arms were around her back and his kips landed on the crown on her head. "Oh sweet-pea." He pulled her closer and felt her arms wrap around his neck. He stroked her hair lovingly. "You don't know how man times I wanted to tell you-how close I came to almost telling you. I hated to see you fighting for SD-6-thinking that it was the CIA. It killed me so much to leave you."
"But I saw the pictures!" She sat up straight and starred at him with an empty look that went down to the pit of her stomach. "I saw the bullet holes in your head, the lacerations across our body..and you faked the entire thing. The CIA set up your death and sent the pictures to SD-6. You got out." She watched Kilmer nod reluctantly. And that's when she really go choked up.
"You did such a wonderful job in there, sweet pea. My handler kept me updated on you and he said that you were doing better work than anyone anticipated. He also told me about Danny. It was the best thing that you moved on. I was so happy for you."
"Danny's dead." She replied with uncharacteristic coldness.
"I know. That's how you became a double agent. And you worked to bring down the Alliance successfully. You're an incredible agent, Sydney. Absolutely incredible." He started to get a little choked up with this too.
Sydney lurched forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, "You alive, Kilmer. I never thought I would ever see you again. When the Alliance fell, they told me that you had been a double agent but that was all that they said. And then I saw your picture in my docket and I didn't even know." She started to cry now. So much had changed in the past 24 hours that it hurt her so badly. She felt his arms wrap around her body.
"I never thought I would see you again. I heard about your death or disappearance or whatever you're calling it and G-d, Sydney, I never thought you of all people could die. You were invincible." He spoke softly to her through her hair. His touch was so warm and comforting to her. "I missed you so much."
She sniffled slightly and buried her head in his shoulder. "I loved you so much."
"I know. Me, too." They held each other there for a long time and felt like they were back to where they were before his faked death.
"Syd, there's a lot you need to know before Madison gets back." Kilmer spoke up softly, stroking her hair gently.
She sat up slightly and starred into his gray eyes, feeling her heart swell with the emotions of years ago. "What is it?"
"Well, I need you to give me your word that you'll keep this between the two of us. We'll tell Agent Vaughn when he returns but I need to get your word on it. I know I can trust you. Please, Syd; it's important." His brow was tensed with concern and he dropped all physical contact with her. There was something wrong and she felt her blood run cold as he dropped eye contact with her. But she couldn't respond. Something was stopping her. "Sydney, please. Your word!" His voice was constricted with overrunning emotion.
"You have my word." She nodded dumbly.
"Agent Perkins and I, Madison and I, we're together. We've been together since I came out of protection. She's my partner, my first since my days at SD-6 and we've been undercover here in Odessa for I guess about two and a half years. I was taken out as soon as the Alliance fell and the next day, I was bound for here but anyway!" He shook his head as he was getting off of the topic. "Somewhere along the lines, we fell in love. We're going to get married as soon as the assignment is over."
She felt like she had been punched in the stomach. It was the same feeling as when she saw the ring on Vaughn's finger. It was a blow to the belt. But Kilmer wasn't hers. He had died and moved on. She had died and moved on. They were no longer together but there was something missing. She never had closure from him and now he was engaged to someone else. "I- I'm happy for you but I don't understand why you're telling me this."
"Because there's more to the story. Madison and I have a daughter- a little girl, Layla Rose. Langley doesn't know about her and they never can- not until we tell them."
Sydney want to jump to her feet and pace but all she could do was put her hand up to her forehead and think. "You have a daughter?" the lame phrase floated through the air dimly.
"Layla." He replied with some bit of pride.
"You have a daughter." She repeated again.
"You'll be able to meet her as soon as Maddie and Agent Vaughn return. They're picking her up under her alias, Natasha Ziegler and hopefully Mister Vaughn can think quickly on his feet and come up with something equally as charming. Chances are, she'll do all of the talking and talk with Ms. Anastasia and be equal and done with it." Kilmer got to his feet and found himself in the kitchen to pour himself a cup of tea. "Remind me; do you want tea?"
Sydney stared into the fire. Today was the day to end all days. First, she was sent on a mission with Vaughn. His wife is cheating on him with the new NSC analyst. She's undercover with a man that was suppose to be dead HOW MANY YEARS AGO? And, to boot, he's engaged and has a baby. A daughter. Layla.
This was perfect.
This was just perfect.
"Sydney?" He called again, waiting for a reaction. She whipped her head around and starred at him. "Tea?"
"Yeah. Yeah sure." She got to her feet and walked over to the kitchen where Kilmer was pouring water into white chipped teacups. The water's steam swirled around and warmed her frigid skin. "Thank you."
He took a slow sip of his cup and leaned against the worn counter top, "So what have you been up to?" He laughed lamely at his attempt to make conversation.
She shared the laugh lightly, "I've just been working-trying to get my life back on track."
Kilmer nodded slowly; "The worst day was the day that they brought you back, wasn't it? The day that you renewed you license, the taxes, all the paper work. And then you leave the office, and you're alive again. You're considered human again." He remembered that day and cringed slightly at the thought. It was a nightmare and he never felt so empty in his life.
She smiled softly and took another slow sip of her tea. "This is going to be difficult-the mission. I mean, we haven't worked together in a while and Madison and Vaughn have never. It's going to be tough."
"That doesn't sound like the Sydney Bristow I know. It won't be tough. We'll all be fine." He spoke with uncertain confidence. He placed the cup down as he heard the door open. "That must be Madison and Mr. Vaughn. Come on, I want you to meet Layla."
****************************************************
She parted slightly from their embrace, letting her lips keep the tingle from his touch a moment longer. Her brown eyes fluttered slightly as she smiled, watching him do the same. "So, he found the e-mail?" Her lover whispered huskily.
She grinned rather evilly, "Not only did he find it but he was absolutely infuriated by it. He knows about us and didn't even say good- bye to me before he left." She flopped back onto the bed, his bed, and felt the down pillows give beneath her weight. "I'm almost free, darling." She ran her fingertips along his bare back.
Jonathan brushed a stray piece of hair away from her eyes, "Renny, we've almost done it. We're almost there. A few more weeks and we'll be free from the US, free from our employer-free from everyone. You won't be married to that sorry excuse for a man anymore and we, Renny, we can be together. I promise. As soon as we get Michael Vaughn out of the picture, I want to marry you."
Her eyes grew wide, "Really Jonathan? We can finally get married?"
"As soon as Michael is out of the picture-permanently. You will be Mrs. Lauren Ross."