Once a Lifetime
Chapter Nine: Duo POV:
I pretended to awaken slowly, rubbing my eyes and slowly sitting up. I hadn't been able to sleep after my own words, Heero was slowly losing it, and I couldn't keep everything bottled up inside either. If I did, then I'd become crazier than Heero thought I was.
"Duo, what the hell is going on?" he asked, his eyes hard and serious. I faked a yawn before turning my dark violet eyes on him. They were always dark when I didn't get enough sleep.
"Uh, I'm sleeping? Or was, rather. How hard is it to realize that?" I question, playing the grump. I was gonna make him work for it, damn it. I, myself, was too tired of doing all the work. Those words brought cobalt eyes straight to mine, glaring darkly.
"You said earlier in Deathscythe that 'One of these days you wish I could share just one of the many flashbacks of our lives.' I know there's something going on here that you know about. You have been asking weird questions lately and I don't think I like it too much. You're messing with my head again, Duo. I want answers and I want them now." His expression was darkened, even more than it normally was (if that's even possible), but I didn't back down. If he asked me something like this in a straightforward manner (albeit angrily), than I could do nothing but be honest with him as well.
"Apparently, my little monologue jinxed you with flashbacks. I caught you mouthing the name 'Darios' when I mentioned reincarnation earlier. Not one of my better incarnations, I might add. Although... stealing Harmonia's heart was the greatest theft in the world." I grinned a little at the memory of my sweet Harmonia, watching his eyes go from cold and angry to surprised.
"How did you know all that? I didn't tell you anything about that dream," Heero said matter-of-factly. I sighed. This was gonna be another long night.
"I know about it because I was there. I lived it. I've remembered every one of our past lives, Heero. Before you ask, it is our past. We are born, we meet, and we fall in love. Pretty soon after that, something happens to either one or both of us and the whole cycle repeats itself. For some reason, my memories come back to me each lifetime, but you're memory is wiped clean each time." He stared at me a long time before speaking; I know he was processing the whole thing in that great mind of his.
"Were you ever a woman?" he finally asked, almost as if he was making comparisons in his head (which he probably was).
"Several times, actually. If I had a favorite, it would be when I was a gypsy dancer named-"
"Dulce," Heero interrupted. I smiled softly.
"When did you have that dream?"
"Tonight." I thought about all that had happened today and after replaying memories of our time together in fast forward, I knew why.
"That was because of us working with my hair. We did the same thing the day we got married. You were always fond of my hair, that's why I kept making sure I grew it long in each lifetime."
"Stop saying 'we'. That wasn't me. Besides, we're both men this time, making the whole idea null and void. Leave the past where it belongs, it isn't like we love each other in this place and time, right?" I couldn't bring myself to answer that. This whole conversation was way too serious to joke about. At my hesitation, he started glaring at me once more, "Duo?"
"Not entirely correct, Heero. I've always jokingly told you that I love you. I was trying to protect myself. In reality though, I wasn't joking." He seemed stunned. No, more like a deer caught in the headlights. Drawing a deep breath, I fell back on what I was good at (and my last line of defense), rambling.
"Humberto was Dulce's everything then. He was such a brain, my Hu-chan was. He was the first person in 'civilized society' to risk a marriage to a gypsy. Come to think of it, when we were known as Hikaru and Damien, we made another first. We were quite possibly the first gay couple, but it's hard to say for sure. I can recall clearly how we- I mean, how Hi-chan and Damien got together. It was one hell of an argument that brought them together."
Without warning, I felt something pull at me and I found myself tumbling down a black tunnel. I soon landed on a pale tan carpet. My mind recognized the soft surface and I instantly noticed the dull throbbing of my wounds missing. Looking down at my hands, then at my arm where I had been shot, I noticed that there was no sign of my injury in sight.
"Dulce, are you decent?" a slightly husky voice called through a heavy oak door. I instantly turned to the windowed wall and saw myself as Dulce standing right before my eyes. She turned to the door, garbed in a beautiful white wedding dress. It had long sleeves that ended at her hands in a point and puffed shoulders. Roses were embroidered on her bodice and at the points of her sleeves. It hugged her curves and the skirt flowed out about her legs. Her hair was loose and flowing down her back, a white veil with red flowers on it rested over it. A pink lace cloth rested at her neck. Pearl earrings complemented a pretty pearl necklace.
"Humberto! Isn't it bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?" Dulce called, cheeks flushed. I couldn't believe it. I was watching the scene happen as if I was a casual observer; only no one could see me. I couldn't even see my own reflection in the mirror.
"What's going on here?" I muttered, realizing no one could hear me either.
"We've decided dreams weren't enough for Heero Yuy so we've dragged you two into your past. Simply to observe, I assure you," a deep rumbling voice said from behind me. I turned instantly to look at the tall man with the short black hair and two different colored eyes. While his right was a deep red, the left eye was white.
"Who are you and who is 'we'?" I asked, my mind jumping between the recognition I felt but couldn't place and fear.
"My name is Kokuyo. We would be my wife, Hisui, and myself. We want to help Heero and yourself." I felt skeptical. Nothing good happened without a reason.
"What do you get out of this?"
"Nothing more than the joys of helping two people find love." I rolled my eyes.
"You've been sniffing Aphrodite's flowers, haven't you?" I muttered. He looked surprised.
"You know her?"
"Know her? She's been the bane of my existence! I've never had longer than a year with my soul mate consistently. I'm tired of loving, remembering, and then losing that love. I'm so cynical now, I can't believe I can still risk loving him."
"I'm certain you'd risk loving him forever as long as it meant you could remain together some day." I was stunned. This guy obviously knew me well.
"Duo Maxwell, pleasure to meet you," I said finally, my fear fading. Something told me this guy could be the very devil at times but that all he wanted now was to help me.
"Duo? What an interesting name," he said, his voice wistful.
"Thanks. Your name's interesting as well. Isn't it a subtle translation for Devil's Son or Satan's Child?" He laughed, his red eye twinkling.
"That's pretty close to it. Hisui should be coming in with Heero soon. His past self is finally able to make your own past self concede and let him in." Sure enough, Humberto came in, dressed in a handsome white Tux with black tie, vest, and socks. His dark brown hair not as unruly as it usually was. Behind him was a very pretty blond.
Her hair was a soft pale yellow and her eyes were a light blue. Once again, I felt that feeling of knowing her, even though I'd never seen her before. Behind her was Heero, who still appeared shocked. Although, if truth be told, it seemed as if it was a more recent shock. Apparently, he wasn't used to his past self, who was passionately kissing Dulce with abandon. The scent of lavender filled the room. Obviously, that also disturbed Heero. Unable to bear seeing Heero so out of character, I turned to the two responsible for the trip to the past.
"As much as I love memory lane, I can't take anymore of this. Can you send Heero and me home now?"
"One more stop and then back home you shall go. I thought you hated pain of any kind?" Hisui questioned laughingly. I mentally noted they both seemed to know a lot about myself and I only knew that they were married, obviously in love, and wanted to help Heero and me. That wasn't a lot.
"I hate pain, yet I don't like this limbo."
"I see. Admire Hi-chan and Damien and then return home. This I promise." She then turned to Heero. "Enjoy remembering your past life and your soul mate, Heero-san. It's rare to see this once a lifetime let alone over twenty-nine times. Lets hope thirty is your lucky number, kind of like how many times you rewired wing, speculated self-destructing, and the same number of times you swore to remain the perfect soldier after Duo kissed you. Good evening," Hisui said flippantly. Apparently she had Heero in mild shock once more and my own gift for gab. We were then tossed into that black void and toward a time period when we had come together as a couple. The first time we ever-made love.
Flashback Scene
I watched Hikaru pace back and forth on the Oriental rug he had given me for my twentieth birthday. I was a highly ranked and wanted U.S. Marshal. My best skills were stealth related. Hikaru, at twenty-two, was just as sought after and high ranked. The difference being his skills rested in operation and firearms. He was the best gunman the Marshals had ever seen.
Although, at the moment, Hikaru's usually calm and collected exterior was shattered. Pain and anger filled his pacing. Just recently, a group of outlaws we had come after had retaliated. They had killed Hikaru's entire family. His grandfather, father, and twelve-year-old brother had all been killed, leaving Hikaru alone. Hikaru was determined to seek revenge instead of waiting for the law to come through. Even now, I was trying to change his mind about going after them, with little success.
"Damien, I won't change my mind. I'm going after them. Waiting on you is not an option." I watched those iced over Prussian blue eyes glare at me. It was a death glare he was well versed in giving me. One he also knew never bothered me, no matter how much he wanted it to. Yet this time it also hurt me. I hated seeing him like this, but I knew the reason they had hurt him instead of me was because I had no family.
"Hi-chan, knock it off. You aren't thinking straight. I could let you do what you want but then we both know what will happen. You'll die before the thought of revenge could even be acted upon. Now you may hate your life right now, but that doesn't mean you can just throw it away."
"It's mine to do with as I please!" he shouted suddenly, shocking me. Pain was clearly evident in his voice; though he was usually emotionless. I took in his sorrow-filled eyes and messed up hair and realized he hadn't been sleeping well, even before his family had been killed. I loved him so much and seeing him in this pain was killing me, "There is no one around to care about what happens to me anymore! Those bastards made damn sure of that!"
"But there is someone who cares if you're still alive or not," I began softly, my voice gained strength as I went on though, "right in this very room, in fact. I care about you, Hikaru!" He was startled by my words, his pacing stopped. "I love you!!" The words burst from my mouth, leaving me in shock. I could see he was as stunned as I was. I couldn't blame him either. That had been some pretty heavy stuff I was throwing his way.
"What?" he questioned lightly, those cold eyes turning their full attention on me. I could feel my cheeks turning pink in a warm flush. No chance of being ignored now. I had crossed the invisible line between friend and more-than-a-friend, effectively stuffing my feet in my mouth once again. It was a large mouth at that.
"I said I love you. If you want to seek revenge, do it properly, Hikaru. If you want a new partner after this, I'll understand that. Don't throw away your chance at life just because you got dealt a bad hand." I pulled my braid over my shoulder and played with the tip in my hands. He knew better than anyone that I had been dealt the worst hand of all.
My parents had been killed right before my eyes when I was only five, rather brutally too. The orphanage I was sent to could never place me for long. Eventually, the priest took pity on me and raised me himself. The church was then torched while I was forced to watch. The priest and sister who had been so close to me had been inside that inferno. I could hear their screams for hours after the entire place was in ashes, even though I knew they could no longer be alive.
The man responsible for all this didn't want me dead. He just wanted no one else close to me. It was why from age eight to nineteen I kept away from everyone. I kept away from anyone who could possibly become special to me. Yet with Hikaru, it was different. I was irresistibly drawn to him, my heart and mind recognizing him instantly. With this recent travesty against Hikaru's family, I wanted to heal all his wounds, mental and physical alike. I knew the threat my admission of caring for him would bring. Just by being my partner he ran a risk; a risk he constantly told me he willingly took. I still to this day don't understand why he took it, but I was grateful for it all the same.
"Why wait till now to tell me? Why didn't you tell me before?"
"I have a raving loon after everyone I care about. I can't imagine why I'd avoid speaking my feelings," I muttered sarcastically. Hikaru stared at me for a long while, his eyes semi-distant and semi-confused. Finally he acted, but it wasn't what I was expecting.
"I'll wait, Damien. If it will ease your heart, then I'll wait." I know my face lit up. His words had meant a lot to me, especially since I knew he would stick to it whole-heartedly. Hikaru never said something unless he planned to do it.
"Thank you, Hi-chan. You won't regret it, I promise." That said I took a risk and jumped forward, hugging him closely and tightly. To my intense surprise, he returned it, just as tightly and closely. Suddenly in one quick, fluid motion, he was pressing his lips against mine. He kissed me deeply, desperately, and with a range of emotion I never expected to feel from him. I felt myself being led toward the bedroom, hands roaming and could find no words to stop what was most certainly going to happen.
End flashback
We had been silently watching the whole scene, neither one wanting to say anything. I knew quite well what had happened once we reached that bedroom. I also know all too sadly that we never had another night after that one. For the first time in his life, he had lied to me. My expression must have betrayed my inner feelings of sadness and pain because Heero was suddenly beside me, holding me up.
"You shouldn't be on your leg. It's got be hurting you." I laughed, although I know it sounded forced.
"Not as bad as setting a broken leg without help," I mentioned. He simply stared at me.
"Hn," he answered. Once I was back in bed, I expected Heero to lie down as well and go to sleep. He didn't pass out, though. Instead he surprised me by talking. "What happened?" I must have given him a blank look because he then elaborated on it. "With Damien and Hikaru?"
"They enjoyed the best night of their lives before meeting their last dawn." Heero was shocked turning to face me.
"I was an efficient U.S. Marshal. I would always keep my word." My braid was pulled over my shoulder, my fingers worrying it. Heero had said 'I' that time, not 'Hikaru.' That was a positive thing.
"Normally you are, Heero. Yet you were still grief-stricken. You whispered 'I love you' and snuck out. The outlaws killed you before my stealth could get me to you. Before my skills could stop them from killing me I was injured too badly to survive it. I died shortly after you had. That was the end of that one. Not a very happy one, but at least we had known love and each other."
"You've dealt with knowing all twenty nine of our lives and deaths, but you never spoke to anyone about it. That's a strength I will never know."
"It isn't strength, it's hope. A hope that one day, I can find that ever lasting love with you that will survive our trials."
"Hn," was all he answered before turning over, back facing me.
"Night, Heero. Don't feel too bad that you don't love me. It's nothing major. I mean it's not like we won't have another chance, ne?"
"Good night, Duo," Heero muttered. I smiled lightly before closing my eyes and finally falling asleep.