The IRS Meets Hogwarts By: Eddy Bunny, Ralph the Random Loser, and Looney Luna

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Only Eddy and part of the idea for the IRS (ours is different...woo...). Ralph and Luna belong to their respective creators...Kimmy and Rae. This serious version of The IRS Meets Hogwarts was inspired by a conversation in MSN involving Hogwarts, hyperactivity, and pure boredom. :D

Chapter Two: Welcome to Hell, Girls.

"Thank you for using the Floo Network. We hope you have a pleasant day," came a crisp female voice over the intercom in a polished building. The golden floors and walls sparkled, and it was filled with people walking in and out of the fires swiftly. One by one, three girls entered the Ministry of Magic, each holding letters. All three walked over to the Fountain of Magical Brethren, then at each other.

"Yo." The girl with blonde hair greeted, sitting on the fountains edge.

"Are you two Alice and Rae?" The one with red hair questioned, shifting her weight.

"Well I'm Rae, so I guess that's...Alice? And you're Kim?" The third shrugged, her black hair swaying a bit.

"You got it." The blonde, Alice, nodded. She pulled out a Swiss-Army Knife, and began to cut up her trench coat in boredom.

"I'm glad you three have become acquainted." Another female voice broke into their conversation and the three girls looked up.

A woman, around twenty two, stood before them. Her short, blood red hair was shockingly vibrant and had several black streaks. Her gray eyes were sharp as she looked at them. Pulling out a wallet, she flipped it open to show an ID.

Name: Rowen Silver
Codename: Black
Age: 22
Wand: Unicorn Hair Core, Twelve Inches, Oak
Rank: Class A
Agent ID: 000-45632-00781

"What do you want?" Kim asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I want you three to come with me." Rowen replied as she rolled her eyes, speaking in a manner that suggested she did not want to be here.

"Why should we do that?" Rae asked, not appreciative of this woman's rudeness.

"Because I'm the one who has to train you three."

"Train?" Alice blinked, tilting her head.

"You three are the newest replacement Agents in the IRS. Please come with me, I'll answer all of your questions in a moment."

"IRS?" Kim whispered to Alice and Rae. "I don't like the sound of that."

A few moments later, the three stood in a small dark room. Rowen stood at the head of a table and motioned for the girls to sit. Rae graciously took the seat, and Kim leaned against the table. Alice found a good place on the wall to relax upon and yawned, looking at Rowen.

The said women rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers as a black orb on the desk projected an image into the air. The IRS logo shone menacingly above the small group. Rowen looked at the three girls, her eyes calm.
"The IRS, International Reaper of Souls, is an organization dedicated to defending the Earth against political leeches and corporate greed."

"So why is our government more corrupt then ever?" Alice questioned coldly, balancing her knife on the tip of her finger.
"Budget cuts." Rowen replied curtly, before picking up a small remote and clicking a button. A soundless movie began to play, displaying people in black cat-suits skulking around, or women with machine guns, in the midst of a heavy battle. Rowen placed her hands on the table and looked at the three girls.
"You three have been selected for the IRS program as Agents in Training. We hope to send you on one of our most important missions yet."

Kim's eyebrows raised in shock.
"Have we? Why?"

"Your skills are unique and necessary to our organization."

"Skills?" It was Rae speaking this time.
"Indeed."
"Name a few."

"Alice, Second in Command of the Black Dragon Gang, great long distance runner and handy with a gun. Useful for combat. Kim, Honours student at the prestigious Waterford Private, well known for hacking into Government Databases. The Intelligence of your team. Rae, won the Creative Invention World Championships with her Death Ray. She'll be backing up the more mechanical aspects of your missions. With training, you three girls could work wounders."
Kim turned to look at Alice, quirking an eyebrow. Alice ignored the red-head, beginning to drift off into sleep. Rowen twitched and clucked her tongue.
"Miss Cryer, I demand that you pay attention. This is important."
"And I demand sleep. Nap time!"
A great zap sound exploded through the room as Alice leapt up into the air, the wall pulsing with an electric current. She glared up at a smirking Rowen from the floor.

"Damn you."
"Thank you. Right, let's get back to business."

"May I ask a question?" Kim ventured, tilting her head over her shoulder at Ms. Silver.

"Go ahead."

"Why are you the 'International Reaper of Souls?'"

"I'm getting to that. When your training is complete, you'll be sent to Hogwarts-"

"Your kidding. That's from a book." Rae interrupted, eyes widening.

"It's more then just a story Miss Fox. Hogwarts is real." Rowen said patiently, folding her arms. "To answer your question Miss Correy, the reason we 'Reap Souls' is to make those whom deserve it suffer."

"What?" Alice blinked.
"We steal souls Miss Cryer. The souls of the corrupt. The souls of those in the American government."
"So you mean, this is an organization built to take down...another organization?" Rae smirked a bit. How painfully ironic.

"In a manner of speaking...yes." Rowen shrugged half-heartedly.
The three girls looked at each other.

"How do you ...'steal' souls?" Alice woundered aloud. Rowen laughed.

"Like this," Rowen said, snapping her fingers. A man with greasy skin and a tacky suit was escorted in, looking mortally afraid. Rowen turned to face him. Reaching in a hidden holster in her trench coat she...
End of Chapter Two

Cliff hanger. :P Suckers.

I know it's short. I don't like long chapters. Grraaah.

R&R please.