Sunlight slowly streamed through the white curtains of her apartment, shedding a yellow glow throughout the bedroom. The woman lying in the bed stirred slightly, feeling the warmness rest on her soy cheeks. Her bow eyes fluttered open and found the bed empty. She reached over to the other side of the bed and found it empty. This confused her slightly. "Vaughn?" her raspy voice tried to yell out into the rest of the apartment.
"Well, good morning, Sleeping Beauty." A shirtless Vaughn appeared from the bathroom. A lazy grin spread over his face as he watched her become more coherent. He wore a pair of old blue track pants, showing off the rippled stomach that drove Sydney crazy. Just coming from the shower, he held a towel in his hand and continued to dry off the excess water. "Did you sleep?" He moved over to the bed and climbed in next to her, abandoning the towel. She immediately curled up next to him.
She groaned happily, "Like a log." She flipped over onto her stomach, rubbing her hands over her eyes, "What time is it?"
"Almost seven-thirty." He replied, starting to rub lazy circles on her back. "You slept in late today." Not giving her a moment to respond, he started to tickle her. She burst into a fit of laughter, gasping for air as she begged him to stop. They rolled over the bed, both gasping and laughing. Vaughn ended up on top, tickling her relentlessly, "Alright, alright. Fine." He relented at last, kissing her before rolling off beside her.
"I need to get up soon. We have that disciplinary hearing in two hours." She traced a line over his forehead with her index finger. "
"You really don't have to go, Syd. No one's expecting you to-" Vaughn answered as he shifted his weight to get more comfortable. One arm wrapped around her back, propping her up slightly. He played with a renegade strand of her hair that never seemed to be straight.
She stopped his hand with hers. "I need to go, Vaughn. This is Kilmer and Madison we're talking about. I can't just go about my day and pretend that nothing's happening." She talked of them like they were old childhood friends. Even with all of the incidents that occurred, she still deeply cared for their mental well being. It was in her nature to always want to root for the good guys. "This is just bureaucratic nonsense."
This was frustrating to hear and he sighed accordingly, "Syd, this cannot end well." He pulled away from her for a moment, choosing to sit up a little more.
Sydney sat up, sitting high at eye level with him. "Vaughn, I don't want to depend on someone else to tell me what's going to happen to them. Kilmer is a good agent, has been and always will be. He doesn't deserve to face the committee. He could lose his status as a field agent. He did nothing wrong. It was a mutual decision to do what they did." This was true. Kilmer was facing the committee because of Layla and the situation ensued. For some reason, the Agency was placing the blame on Kilmer's shoulders. He shouldn't have started a relationship with his partner. He should have kept his daughter safer. He should have found a way to escape. Of course, this was all ridiculous and no outside should ever intervene in their complex world.
Vaughn was equally as frustrated as Sydney was but for different reasons. Those thoughts, those "what ifs" had run though his mind from the moment he had agreed to open his heart to her. It was that fear that kept him away, even though in his heart of hears, knew that he was beginning to love her. He sympathized so much for Kilmer. He had seen a similar situation being played out in his mind. He saw a happy life, covert life with Sydney in some grungy apartment. Their love and eventual marriage would be kept hidden from the rest of the world but it would be there regardless. It would all come crashing down eventually. The pressure would be too great or the world would suddenly seem too big for them to survive in. One of them would be lost to the community that had already claimed their lives the moment they signed their names on the dotted lines.
"Syd, Kilmer's faced worse things than that committee. He had to face off with both you and Madison. Something tells me that guy's gonna be just fine."
"Hey, you survived me and managed to come out the other side."
Vaughn grinned, "Yeah Kilmer survived you and Madison. We should put him up for sainthood or something." He placed another quick kiss on the temple. "Saint Robbie Kilmer."
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"Everything's going to be fine. We have absolutely nothing to worry about. We did nothing wrong." Madison spoke softly, as she resisted the temptation of tapping her foot incisively. Her nerves were beginning to show and it felt as though her heart was going to expel itself from her chest. She hadn't been able to eat since she returned to the states and even in her five day return, she had already lost weight. "We were doing our jobs."
Kilmer was standing caddy-corner to Madison, listening intently and scanning the Rotunda. "We were doing our jobs." It had been such a long time since he had stood in this building. He wasn't supposed to be here ever again. LA was crossed off the list of destinations years ago. "If they want to-"
"Don't even finish that sentence, Robbie." Madison snapped and looked deep into his eyes. "Don't you dare." She stepped closer to him and hushed her voice, "Swear to me that if something happens, you won't let them take Layla."
He closed whatever gap was between them and looked into her eyes, "Baby, you know that I don't-"
"Swear it or so help me!" She hissed again, standing toe to toe with him. The rage was beginning to overflow. "I will not tolerate a bunch of bureaucrats to take my daughter-my own flesh and blood-away from me. I don't care what happens to me-I'm leaving the Agency regardless. But if they decide I am an unfit mother or cannot have custody-I want you to swear to me that you will keep her!"
Kilmer sighed and tried to smile. He raised a hand to brush through her long black hair tied at the nape of her neck, "I will through myself in front of a train to keep that little girl safe."
She swallowed tears that were welling in her throat, "What's going to happen now?"
Kilmer sighed, letting his hand fall to her shoulder, "I think we're in for a very long afternoon, baby."
Madison smiled and sighed deeply, feeling her chest depress all the while. "I can't wait for all of this to be over. The anxiety over all of this isn't worth it. I just want to go home."
This caught Kilmer off guard, "Home to where? Odessa?"
Madison shook her head, "London. I want to go back to my home."
"Is that where you're planning to go once this is all over?" He watched her nod painfully, "And even though I'm not going, you're still going to go back?" Again, her head bobbed up and down. Slightly taken back, Kilmer removed his hand from her body, "Why, baby?"
"Not here, okay, Robbie?" She begged. "After we meet with the hearing, then we'll deal with where we go from here."
Sydney and Vaughn rounded the corner of the Rotunda, coming into the white dim light that flooded the open area. "There they are." Sydney whispered softly as they spotted Kilmer and Madison exchanging furtive words. "I want to talk to them before they go in to face-"
"Is that such a good idea, Syd?" Vaughn whispered, pulling her back into reality.
"I don't know but I'm going to do it anyway." Sydney replied, stepping away and walked briskly towards the couple, standing in a small corner of the room. "Kilmer, Madison?"
"Sydney." Kilmer looked away from Madison to acknowledge her. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine but the more important thing is how are you two doing?" She crossed her arms over her chest and examined her shoes for a moment.
"We're doing fine." Kilmer answered for the both of them. He put his hand on the small of Madison's back and shared a sad smile. Turning back, his emotions changed softly, "Why don't we meet you afterwards-let you know what happened." He took a moment, "Is the Carrington Pond still there in the Park?"
Sydney nodded, "Always, Kilmer, you should know that. Just call when you're done." With that, she turned on her heels, slightly disappointed at what had just happened. She didn't know what she wanted but something in her gut told her that wasn't it. Meeting there, Carrington Pond, was poignant for her and she was sure that it was intentional. It was where Kilmer had told her that he loved her. Feeling a wave of unbridled emotion, Sydney swept away from the two other agents, Vaughn unsure in her wake.
"Good luck, Kilmer. Madison." Vaughn shook each of their hands and turned to follow Sydney. "Sydney?" He caught up with her at her desk, where she stood bracing herself against her desk, head down and elbows locked. She shook her head back and forth, eyes shut for a moment. He placed his hand on her back and glanced over his shoulder. Kilmer and Madison were being shown to the conference room.
"I don't know what's wrong with me." Sydney picked her head up and sighed. "I shouldn't-"
"It's okay. You don't have to explain anything to me." He nudged her to stand up and he engulfed her into a hug. He placed a soft kiss in her hair. "It's all going to be okay, Syd."
She stood there in his arms, just feeling safe for a few moments. She couldn't understand what she was feeling and why she was feeling this way. It made her chest ache and her head hurt. She was just being overly emotional; she tried to rationalize with herself. "I guess we wait now, huh?" She spoke muffled into his shoulder.
"Let's get out of here. Today's our day off. C'mon, baby." He tucked his arm around her waist and pulled away, leading her out of the Rotunda. He placed a quick kiss to her forehead.
"I should really wait around." She protested, stopping in her tracks.
Vaughn continued to pull her along, not really letting her pause, "Syd, there's nothing you can do here. They're not going to let you into the disciplinary hearings and waiting around here won't do you any good. So, let's go-grab a bite to eat or something or just wait at the park."
She looked at him with honest eyes and replied darkly, "I've never been good at waiting."
"Well, this'll be good practice for you."
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After a long debate and many harsh glares, the couple finally ended up at Carrington Pond in the Park. There were people around, like always; taking jogs, playing Frisbee, walking their dogs. All were enjoying the beautiful day, letting the bright yellow run rain down on them, washing over them like a warm blanket. The air was cool and crisp for such a day. The water on the pond glistened a mirror silver. This area was more secluded. There were dense trees that surrounded the circular pond like a protective coating from the outside world. Fewer people came over this way and today, Sydney and Vaughn found themselves nearly alone as they sat, starring at the water. They sat together, hands tightly clasped, on top of a picnic table.
"When I was at SD-6," Sydney broke the silence between them suddenly. It had been nearly thirty minutes since they had arrived there and neither had really said anything. Both were consumed with their own thoughts and worries. "there was this policy: don't ask, don't tell."
Vaughn looked at her, wondering where this was going, "Yeah?"
She nodded, "They could give a crap what happened to their agents. I mean, inter-office dating was frowned upon but there was no disciplinary action taken normally. Everyone eventually found out about me and Kilmer and nothing really ever happen to us." She swallowed and clasped his hand a little bit tighter, "I guess what I'm trying to say-this is so screwed up that they're putting Kilmer and Madison through this. They should just let them do what they want. It's not fair."
Vaughn furrowed his brow and shook his head back and forth, "I wish things were different."
"I mean, this terrifies me because that could be us someday. I do not want the Agency to tell me that we can't be together. We've been through too much not to deserve to be together. I can't lose you, Vaughn. I don't know what I'd do without you." She finally confessed. This is what it had been about the entire time. It was the fear of losing what she had wanted for such a long time. It woke her up these past few nights and shook her during daydreams.
He got up and stood on the ground in front of her, hands clasping hers tightly, "Syd, I swear to you, I will never-ever let anyone take you away from me. It's not an option. I love you more than anything else in this world and I will be damned if someone takes you away from me."
Sydney looked into his green eyes and realized that how moist her own were becoming. She reached up and touched his face, feeling the tiniest bit of stubble beneath her fingertips. "I love you too." She managed to say finally, clearing her throat. This is what she had needed to hear. In her heart, she knew that he wouldn't let anything happen to her but with the hearing and everything going on, she really needed to hear it from him.
"Is this what's been bothering you?" He watched her nod softly. "Baby."
"I know, it's stupid of me but I couldn't help thinking it. Look at our past. It's as screwed up as it could possibly get. I just-"
"I swear to you, as long as I am breathing and alive, no one will ever-ever take you away from me. Okay? I will never let anything stand in the way of us, ever again." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his body. His own eyes felt a little moist from the realization that he might one day have to fight for her. But that was okay. He was willing to do anything for her. Even die for her.
A shrilling ring shattered the beautiful picture; Vaughn's cell phone. Looking at her despairingly, he answered, "Vaughn.....Yes.....What? No, I don't understa-they'll look into it?....Okay....thank you. Yes. Yes. Yes, thank you." And with that, he clicked the phone shut. Unable to deal with the sudden onset of emotions, he stepped back. His eyes stayed focus on the ground for a second as his mind reeled through the thoughts.
"What is it?" Sydney asked.
He cleared his throat uncomfortably. He shouldn't have felt like this. He should have been happy about this. "That-um-that was the office-Jonathan committed suicide this morning and Lauren just pled guilty to all counts. She's going to get the death penalty for treason."
Sydney was slightly taken back by this, "Oh G-d."
He took a slow inhale and hissed, "Let her rot." His eyes looked up to meet Sydney's, "She betrayed me and this country. She deserves whatever she gets." He stepped forward again and crashed into Sydney's arms. For a moment, he just stood there, unsure what to think or believe.
Sydney adjusted her body and held him closer, "This is what she deserves, Vaughn. This is what they both deserve."
There was type of calmness that swept over both of them for a long while. Vaughn eventually took residence besides Sydney, keeping their hands joined. He couldn't seem to focus on what was really going on and it felt so surreal to him. His wife was going to be executed. His lying, cheating, adulteress wife was going to be executed. And yet, he felt guilty about being relieved. He wanted her to rot for all eternity and it felt so wrong. He did love her once. His eyes drifted over to Sydney, who was starring intently at the water. He was now in love with her. Technically, he had never stopped loving her but now, with Lauren committing treason and cheating, he was allowed to love her again. It would not be easy...nothing for them would ever be easy. But maybe, just maybe, this time it would work.
Sydney took in a slow inhale, feeling her chest slowly expand and then collapse. Is there how everything was going to fall into place? There was still a tight knot in the pit of her stomach for Kilmer and Madison. Things with Vaughn and Lauren had finally been resolved for the better. She felt so relieved, was that the right word?, when she heard what was going to happen. There had been a sort of animosity in between the two women since the first moment. It wasn't the "other woman," it was something more than that, that Sydney could never put her finger on and probably never would. It was a sense of betrayal. She woke up after what felt like twenty minutes to discover that her boyfriend had married. It was a horrible feeling. She looked over to Vaughn and squeezed his hand tightly in hers. "Everything will work out for the best." She whispered softly, unsure of even her own words. He returned the gaze and nodded, just wanting to lapse into silence for a little while longer.
The minutes passed by hours. Instead of filling their void with speech, they let the silence prevail until Sydney's phone rang. It was Kilmer. He had news of their disciplinary hearing that was finished in record time. Now, it would only be a matter of minutes before they would hear the news.
Vaughn spotted them first on the other side. Kilmer stood, tall as ever in his black wrinkled suit. His tied had been loosed and the jacket long gone. The sleeves were pushed up by his elbows. In his arms, he held Madison close. She looked more defeated than he did, her blazer flapping open with each step that she took. Her arm was wrapped around his back and her gaze seemed focus on their feet. "I don't know how this looks."
"Madison doesn't look good." Sydney remarked, getting up to her feet slowly.
"Sydney, Vaughn." Kilmer greeted as he rounded closer to them. "How are you?"
Sydney found herself still holding tightly to Vaughn's hand, "We're doing okay. How'd everything go?"
Madison looked up from the ground, her eyes puffy and skin blotchy from fallen tears, "They're letting us off. I'm officially leaving the Agency as of the first of the month and no disciplinary action is being taken against me for what happened." She looked to Kilmer and sniffled slightly. He sighed gently and brushed beneath her eyes with his index finger. "But Kilmer-"
"I'm being sent on another deep cover assignment." He sighed and looked at Sydney and shook his head back and forth. "I'm being sent to Bangkok for an undetermined amount of time."
Sydney couldn't help but gasp. "What? Why?"
Kilmer just starred, "Because they need someone to go and apparently, I'm that someone." Sarcasm seeped from his words and dreaded from his body. "So, as of Monday, I'm back on assignment."
Vaughn couldn't find anything to say. He wanted to say something of importance and good to help Kilmer and Madison but could think of nothing. Sometimes silence is a man's best friend. "Monday?" He found himself saying.
"I get the weekend to be with Madison and Layla...say my good-byes and then I fly out of Dover on Monday morning." He tried to smile but failed rather miserably. "But, I didn't have to face any disciplinary actions. Be grateful for small favors, I guess." He pulled Madison a little closer and kissed the crown of her head.
"It's been a hard day." Madison said softly, the tone of her voice slowly starting to sound stronger.
"What happens now?" Sydney asked, not knowing whether she wanted to know that answer or not. Nothing would make her satisfied. Madison and Kilmer deserved to stay in LA together, watching their daughter grow.
"Well, I'm going to move back to home to Barton...maybe find a little house or apartment there with Layla. I'll find work-everything'll be fine. And we'll just wait. We'll wait for Robbie to come home." Madison looked at Kilmer and took his free hand in hers. "Everything will work out."
Kilmer nodded and looked to Vaughn and Sydney, "That'll be that. Hopefully it'll be no more than a few months. Six, at the most." Ever the optimist, he tried to smile.
"Is there anything that you need us to do?" Sydney asked.
"Just keep your fingers crossed for us, sweet pea." Kilmer grinned. "We better get going. Just wanted to let you know the news." Before even hearing a reply, Kilmer turned on his heels and walked away.
Sydney watched the two figures retreat out of view. She didn't know when the next time she would see either one of them again. Maybe she wouldn't. She never expected to see Robbie Kilmer ever again. All she could do was keep her fingers crossed. Every would be okay. It had to be okay for them.
"Penny for your thoughts, Syd?" Vaughn whispered softly.
"We're so lucky that everything worked out for us." She buried her head in his shoulder, inhaling his scent deeply. "I don't know what I would do if I had to say good-bye to you again. I don't think I could do it."
"Well, you never have to worry about that. I'll never leave you again."
Sydney smiled, "I never want you to. I don't want to be your good-bye girl."
Vaughn leaned down and captured her lips in his. They parted after a sweet kiss, "You're my entire-world, girl."
Oh so sad this is over! I hope all you liked it! I'm so sorry for all of the delays but school work kind of got in the way! Thank you for all of your patience and all of your reviews!