DISCLAIMER: I don't own Alias or any of its characters. I don't profit when I make stories and post them here. They are owned by JJ Abrams, ABC and Touchstone. Thank you…

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"This is so stupid." Paris mumbled, looking at her. Tears were streaming in her eyes.

"I can't remember anything after my graduation." She said and pounded the table with her fist.

"We hold a regression therapy if you want to." Sydney said.

"I don't know." Paris said, standing up. "Even if I've been missing for one and a half years, I still answer to my superiors." She said, her back, turned away from Sydney.

"Your superiors?" Sydney asked.

Paris looked at her. "I'm with the British Intelligence."

CHAPTER FOUR

MI5 was informed that one of their assets was in CIA protection.

They asked for verification.

They took DNA tests, blood tests and an interview with one of her former superiors.

At the same time, the CIA also conducted their tests. It was learned that Jack Bristow was part of the creation of Paris Derevko. According to their tests, she is physically and mentally fit.

After three weeks, MI5 permitted the transfer of one of their best assets to the CIA.

"She's ours." Sydney heard Dixon say to the person in the other line as she entered his office. Dixon motioned her to sit down and tried to end his call.

"You wanted to see me?" Sydney said.

"Yes. Agent Derevko agreed to a hypno-therapy session. She's now downstairs. Can you please check on her after she's done? She's with Vaughn." Dixon said.

"That's all?" Sydney asked as she stood up.

Dixon nodded. Sydney smiled a bit then went out of the room. She went down to go to one of the testing rooms. When she entered, she found out that the session was about to finish. Her Vaughn's face looked grim.

"Vaughn, what is it?" She asked.

"She… they used her as a killing machine."

"Paris, when I count to five, you will feel awake and refreshed." Sydney heard the woman say. She began to count to five then turned to them.

"You can see her in a few minutes." The woman told them after she had counted. She left them to go to her 'patient'.

"She narrated how she killed the agents. But she was able to give a name and a place. She also said being ordered to kill petty crime lords and commit acts of violence, which includes killing large groups of people with another bunch of people watching." Vaughn said as they turned to look at the girl. Paris was looking at the woman with fear in her eyes. The woman looked at Vaughn and Sydney and motioned them to come in.

Sydney looked at her Vaughn then went in. He followed a while later.

She went towards Paris and stood by her chair.

"Paris? Are you okay?" Sydney asked. The girl shook her head. She was looking down. Then she looked up to Sydney.

She took a deep breath then stood up. She smiled a bit then told her, "I think I'm okay."

Sydney looked at her, weirdly. "Are you sure?" she asked. The abrupt change in the emotional state surprised her a bit.

"Yeah." Paris replied. She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Uh… do you want something to eat?" Sydney asked, unsure of what to ask.

"Sure." Paris replied. Sydney and Vaughn then led her out.

Paris followed them. She didn't seem to notice the movement around her.

'Damn, I was a killing machine.' She thought as she followed Sydney. Tears fell from her eyes but she quickly wiped them away. But as soon as she did that, a big ball of guilt formed in her throat. Her lower lip began to tremble.

Sydney looked back. She found that Paris was walking with her head down. She stopped and walked beside her. Vaughn slipped away quietly.

"Hey, its okay to cry." She said. Paris shook her head again.

Sighing, she put her arm around her shoulders. They walked in to the lounge, to get something to eat. That was where Paris broke down.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it." Paris said sobbing. They sat down in the chair.

"Its okay." Sydney said and went to the refrigerator. "Uh, we have coffee ice cream and some sandwich."

She checked the sandwiches. "Tuna and chicken."

"Tuna and chicken?" Paris asked. Just as then, Jack went in the lounge.

"Hey dad." Sydney greeted. Jack acknowledged Sydney but not Paris. Paris ignored him and stopped crying. She doesn't want Agent Bristow to see her cry.

"What's that?" Jack asked, pointing to the sandwiches.

"Tuna and chicken sandwiches." Sydney answered and handed him the chicken sandwich. Jack is allergic to tuna.

"Thanks." Jack said and went out without saying goodbye.

"So, which will it be? Tuna, chicken or ice cream?" Sydney asked her sister.

"I'll take the tuna."

*****

A FEW DAYS LATER

Jack was going to see Irina. Sydney is in a mission and can't be reached. He was going to ask her what Paris's medication is to her allergies. A day after the hypno-therapy session, Paris suddenly acquired red spots in her face and arms and started vomiting. She refused to tell what she did, and refused to eat, saying that she can't breath, let alone eat.

The doctor said that she had an allergic reaction but since Paris declined to speak, they just gave something to soothe the itchiness.

The metal bars raised and opened. Jack walked towards the glass pane.

Irina was sitting on the floor, her eyes closed. Jack cleared his throat. She opened her eyes and saw Jack watching her. She stood up and went closer.

"What is it?" Irina asked

"Does Paris have allergies?"

"Yes. She's allergic to tuna, like you." Irina answered. "Why?"

"Tuna? Allergic to tuna?" Jack asked, incredulously. He remembered Sydney telling him that the allergic reaction to tuna must be a recessive trait since Paris can eat the type of fish.

"The same medication?" he asked. Irina nodded.

"But it can also help if you give her some of her favorite food." She added.

"Which are?"

Irina enumerated them. Jack nodded, then left.

He didn't say goodbye.

****

A couple days later, Paris was walking in the same corridor on her way to see her mother. Sydney didn't want to interfere with their meeting so she just left her on the doorway. She walked slowly, careful that she will not hit the metal bars that were rising and opening.

Her mother was waiting for her, standing near the glass.

Irina heard her daughter's voice. She wants to see her, to hug her. She left her three years ago when she turned herself in to the CIA, and she was on the run when she escaped. When it was okay for her to surface, Paris was missing.

She finally reached where her mother was standing.

'God, she still looks the same.' Paris thought as she looked at her mother.

"Paris…" Irina started. Paris glared at her.

Irina sighed. 'She's still angry.'

"They said you wanted to see me." Paris started. Irina nodded. "Why?" her daughter asked.

"Just wanted to see if you're fine. Agent Bristow informed me that you had an allergic reaction." Irina answered, watching her daughter's face.

"I just tried to commit suicide. Apparently, it didn't work." Paris said, looking at her mother directly in the eye. Irina didn't say anything.

"Do you want to know why? Why I tried to kill myself?" Without waiting for Irina to answer, she continued, "Because I killed innocent people, for fun."

Irina looked down. She doesn't want to look at her daughter. It was partially her fault.

"I killed them even if they were already begging for their lives. I killed their children and wives even if they begged me not to. I was cruel. I was ruthless. Like you." Paris said, her voice, breaking.

Irina still didn't say anything.

"God, I'm not even sure if you're my mother. My mother wouldn't have disappeared on me before my graduation; my mother would have looked for me when I was missing. But did you do those things? No. I still don't even know where you were all those years."

"I was here." Irina said, raising her head up to look at her eyes.

"You were here." Paris repeated. "All those three years?" Paris asked.

"No, I escaped after six months. But I can't contact you. I can't implicate you. You're MI5. You have your responsibilities, I have mine."

"Yeah. Its your responsibility to abandon your family." Paris replied. Irina looked at her with traces of surprise in her face. "Do you think I don't know? What you did to Sydney and Agent Bristow?"

"Then you do know that they were going to be killed if I didn't obey my superiors?"

"Yes. But I do know that you shot Sydney in the shoulder, you betrayed Agent Bristow twice and you left them for Arvin Sloane. The utterly despicable Arvin Sloane." Paris answered and turned her back to her mother.

"I graduated top of my class, mom. I was made to deliver my speech and you were supposed to be congratulated by the Dean of my department. But you weren't there. I received stares of pity from my classmates and their parents. They comforted me, for something you didn't do. I didn't even have pictures."

Irina's eyes filled with tears. She once promised herself that she will right the wrongs she has done to Sydney and Jack through Paris. Love her, protect her and care for her. Raise a happy, well-educated adult with a spy-free life.

She has failed.

Not only did Paris end up working for the MI5 without her knowing, but also has discovered that her mother is one of the persons who can kill her. She grew up with an unnatural gift and was teased mercilessly for her intelligence.

"I'm sorry." Irina said. "I'm really, really sorry." Irina repeated. The tears spilled out of her eyes.

Paris glanced at her mother. She was crying. 'Oh my god, I made her cry.'

"I need to go." Paris said and turned to the guard at the other side of the corridor. After a few seconds, the metal bars began to rise up. She doesn't like seeing people cry. It's unnerving.

"Paris…" Irina said. Her daughter looked at her. She just stared. Paris went out, trying hard not to sob. But just like the other day, she broke down in tears.