I don't remember what he was like. Though it's not like I ever pretended that I did. In fact I have only heard of him. The only reason I even know he is who he is was because my mother told me, and even those stories that she told me have started to fade from my mind. And as far as what I remembered on my own... well, I suppose the only thing I have of him is my sword Tetsaiga, and his voice, I remember that too. Myouga is a very unwanted heirloom as well I suppose.
Even though I don't remember my father, I do know, vaguely what he looked like. Though the image my mother put into my mind is probably exaggerated since she told me about him when I was only two or three, and I had wanted to know so much I probably emphasized about a thousand details. Anyway, he basically looks like Sesshomaru, except that he supposedly had a much softer face, and my mother said his aurora was a lot more intimidating. She didn't say it exactly like that, but that's the gist of it.
So I lived with this image and was told of how great both he and Sesshomaru were. Especially when they fought together, not that I remember that either. I was told that my father loved me, and that he wanted only the best for me, and when I was born he was about the proudest man on the face of the Earth.
I really don't know if I believed her, but for some reason, I really wanted to. Even then I realized that the feeling of being trusted and the feeling of being loved was never going to be something I knew by heart. Really it never was. Until I met Kikyou, and after her, Kagome. I believe that it really was Kagome's love and true trust that gave me a feeling of contentment and love that I almost recognized. Almost.
It really was hard to imagine at first. Considering after my mother died all I had was the memories of her and the stories she told me. None of the people in the village gave a damn about me so I didn't know love from them either. No to mention that they were constantly beating me up and crap like that. So all in all you might say that we didn't like each other much. Ironically, they were the people that made me not want to kill humans. Them and my mother of course. The reason being that once in one of my adolescent rages, I literally tore one of them to pieces. And I do mean literally.
Still, how I feel about my father, and the supposed love he gave me, it never was and never will be a sure thing in my mind. In truth I really don't know what I would do if I ever met him. Not that I will, and not like I really am waiting for it to happen. I have Kagome; I have a cause to live day to day. And with that in my mind, I shall live each day to show the world that I am no longer and never again will be the little kid who people took advantage of because I was different, and weak. Not a good combo for any one person.
I really won't complain. As long as I have something to live for, I am content, in a matter of speaking. Kagome says that with the things I have 'accomplished' I should feel really good about myself. I really don't know what these supposed 'accomplishments' are. And when I asked her, she listed them, get this...
Getting free from the tree. (though I truly think that was totally her doing)
Getting a hold of the Tetsaiga. (Again if I recall her accomplishment.)
Finding out Naraku's true identity and ultimately making most of the discoveries of his weaknesses. (Ok, ok, this one was mine!)
Learning to see through Naraku's illusions. ( she did that before me though)
Helping gather most of the jewel shards. (Not that we have them all though!)
Taking in Shippo and helping him gain revenge for his father. (That kids a brat all I wanted was the jewel shards!)
Being strong even when I am human. (No dip!)
Protecting her. (Like I wouldn't! I almost attacked her for that one! Ungrateful little, what does she think I am a freakin monster?)
Surpassing my father in strength. (This was really a big one for me, and one I will admit to, it really was one of my favorite one's she mentioned.)
Always fighting on the right and justified side. (Again, what side was she expecting me to fight on?")
For always taking such good care of all of us. (I just sighed at this one.)
And she said finally, for letting her stay by my side.
When Kagome said the last one I almost hugged her, however, I thought better of it. Who knows who was watching us? I wouldn't in danger her like that. The fact that I would endanger her just by hugging her in front of other demons or even people is another heirloom from my father.
You see, despite the fact that many of my father's subjects loved him, just as many demons hated him. With power you will gain enemies and friends, however, which one you have more of depends on who you are. However, my father just happened to have more enemies, only because he was as strong as he was. Supposedly.
The fact of the matter is that I am not as strong as he was. Or well, I really don't think so. He was a full demon and sometimes I have a feeling that Ryokotsie got lucky, somehow. The fact that I am a hanyou also means I am part human too, which really weakens me every month. Even then though, I really can't afford it. Kagome is in danger enough as it is, and when I am too weak to protect her that only makes it harder for me to do my job. Protect her till my last breath. Even so, I don't mind dieing for her, if that's what I have to do.
Sometimes I think that my love for humans is the best thing my father gave me. Worst according to Sesshomaru, but I've seen the little kid he carries around, it seems our swords weren't the only things that my father divided equally between us! I really think that it is the one thing I like most he gave me. It is what got me into this mess of course, but I met Kagome out of it, so I suppose it wasn't too awful of a gift. Then that stupid wolf started showing up, idiot, calling Kagome, MY Kagome HIS woman, he has another thing comin!
However, I guess the one thing that I really am living for right now s just to prove that I am no longer the little baby that people might remember. I am not just a half breed not worth mention. I am Inuyasha, son of a Taiyoukai and I am going to prove that I am just as much a Taiyoukai as he ever was. I am Inuyasha, and you'll never forget my name.
I guarantee it.
