Harry Potter; Searching For Love

By: J-Chan (SCR)

Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me.

Summary: Harry Potter, the-boy-who-lived, wants nothing more then to die. When he is saved by none other then Severus Snape, will he take his second chance and live, or will he try once more to end it all? (May become Severitus)

Chapter Two: Confessions and Fury .

Severus Snape groaned as he shifted beneath an invisibility cloak. He stood on the porch in an unhappy mood. He had a whole night of Potter-Duty ahead of him thanks to Lupin. 'Of all nights to have an emotional breakdown, it had to be tonight.' Snape thought bitterly, sympathy an alien concept to him. A silvery bird perched on his shoulder; he recognized it as a viator charm which carried your message to someone in a matter of seconds. 'Harry's in trouble. Hurry.' said the worried voice in his ear. Snape ran inside number four without a second thought. Petunia screamed as the dark man entered, his body becoming visible as he tore off his cloak.

"Where is Potter?" He growled, making the woman tremble and inch back as she pointed up the stairs. Snape was up the stairs quicker then you can say Firebolt. He looked around and saw only one door shut. Deciding that was it he moved to open it and when it didn't budge he drew his wand. 'Alohamora!' The door opened and he faltered at the site before him.

The famous boy who lived lie in bed, the sheets beneath him is turning scarlet with blood and the wounds on his wrist still allowing a steady flow of the crimson liquid to flow from them. Snape cursed. He checked the boy's pulse and sighed with relief when he found it, however weak. He swept the boy up in his arms and tore from the house. He tapped the tip of his wand on a ring hanging around his neck. The ring had been turned into a special kind of portkey for Snape that he normally used after particularly exhausting death eater meetings.

Severus appeared in his chambers at Snape Manor and laid Harry down on the bed as he hurried to a potion's cabinet he kept nearby. He snatched two small vials before returning to the boy and taking Harry in his arms. Severus lifted the frail 15 year old up and poured the liquid past his pale lips after closing the two wounds on his wrists. Harry sputtered and began to wake, the blood replenishing potion quickly taking effect as color rose to Potter's cheeks. Severus set him back down and stepped back.

"Drink this and go to sleep Potter." He said simply and waited to see that Harry drank the entire second potion before turning away and leaving the room. Harry looked around confused, but decided to think on it later as he still felt very drowsy.

…………………….

Severus sat silently in a small parlor near the bedroom where the boy who lived slept peacefully with help from a dreamless sleep potion. He had written a letter to the headmaster moments ago and sent it off with his owl, Phobos, informing him that Harry was here. Now he sits in a comfortable chair near the hearth with a novel. Nearly two hours later, and Severus had hardly moved. A small house-elf had come in and set a tray down on the table beside his master; a pot of tea, two cups, and a small plate of biscuits. Phobos then made his way to the tray and picked at one of the biscuits after Severus took the letter. The darker man grumbled and threw the paper in the fire.

'Harry bloody Potter stay here with him? The man really was senile!' Snape thought to himself. It took him a good few minutes and two cups of tea to clam down, and by that time Harry had woken up and hesitantly made his way out of the bedroom.

"P-Professor?" He said softly. Snape looked back at him and fought back a sneer. "Where am I, sir?"

"You are at my home. You will be staying here the remainder of the summer as no one else is available." Severus replied and looked the boy over fully, scrutinizing him. Potter looked sickly pale, once bright green eyes were dull; his previously untamable hair lay flat on his head and had grown a tad bit longer, and he clung to the wall as if he could collapse at any moment. "Come sit down Potter." Snape said as he poured them both some more tea.

Harry made his way to the chair next to Snape and slid down in it. Severus pushed a cup of tea to him and motioned to the plate of biscuits. He watched the teen take a sip of the tea, holding it near his face, basking in its warmth. Harry took another drink of the tea then held it on his lap, sitting quietly as he stared at his forearms.

"Why did you do it?" Harry asked, his voice so low it that Severus had to strain to hear him.

"What? Save your life, again? I couldn't very well leave you to die." Snape replied harsher then he had intended.

"I wish you had…" Harry didn't raise his eyes, looking intently at his wrists still able to see the blood that had run down them in his mind's eye. Severus couldn't help but feel sorry for the boy at that moment, though the momentary sympathy was quickly shoved aside. The two then sat in silence for a moment until Snape heard a stifled sob. He turned his attention to Harry curiously to find the boy in tears.

Harry curled up on the chair, bringing his knees to his chest. Tears had come unbidden to his eyes and now streamed down his cheeks relentlessly. He hated that he was crying in front of Snape of all people, but couldn't stop the tears from coming.

Severus was at a loss, having no idea what to do. A memory forced itself to the surface, as he thought back to his days at school when he was in a similar position.

A young Severus sat in the Slytherin boys' lavatory on the cold stone floor. It was his fifth year at Hogwarts, and he had been humiliated, taunted, and hurt again. He clutched a broken wrist to his chest, Potter had dropped him to the ground and Severus had landed in an awkward position, his hand bent the wrong way. 'The marauders' he thought bitterly, had caused him pain once more, but no one knew the extent of this pain. He may be able to keep up appearances when in public, refusing to allow anyone see him cry and act as if each wisecrack made at his expense had little effect on him, but each cruel word hurt him more then anyone would ever know.

Today, however, he couldn't take it anymore. Five years of this peer-induced torture was too much for him to handle any longer. He could taste the salty tears on his mouth, and ran his fingers along the smooth surface of a steak knife he had taken from the kitchens. Running it across his skin lightly as the door opened.

Lucius took the blade and threw it across the room. His words forgotten in this memory, but what he said had made no difference, though Severus knew the blond was scolding him. The seventh year - and Severus' only friend - had then swept down and comforted him with a kind embrace that surprised Snape. He never knew the older boy to be so gentle, in fact normally he seemed very detached from most of his emotions, but was grateful.

Severus sighed and stood, realizing the boy needed him now just as much as he had needed Lucius before. Severus sat on the edge of Harry's chair and hesitantly wrapped his arms around the boy. He could feel the teen tense for a moment and saw green eyes stare at him in shock, but soon enough Harry had accepted the gesture. He wrapped his arms around the elder man, feeling very much like a child, but unable to stop himself as he cried into Severus' robes. Having never allowed his emotions to be seen to this extent, he had never been held or comforted, and he liked the feeling despite the fact that it was the irritable potions master offering this small comfort.

"I don't know who I am anymore." He confessed quietly. "I'm called the boy-who-lived and the savior of the Wizarding world, but I don't know just Harry…He is still in the cupboard under the stairs, still locked away." He said. Snape stared at him, even more confused then before. 'Locked in a cupboard under the stairs?' He asked himself. He started to speak but the boy had yawned, and his grip loosening from around Severus' waist. Snape moved, looking down on the still tired boy. He was so frail, looking as if one rough touch and he would shatter; his hair tousled, his eyes with dark circles around them, tears still resting on his cheeks after a much needed cry, and…What was that? Severus leaned over, seeing an odd color on the pale skin where the shirt had been hiked up slightly.

He pulled the material up lightly and saw the grotesque mixture of colors making up a rather large bruise. Placing his wand to the wound a small image appeared, looking like a hologram, showing Vernon Dursley's meaty fist hit the boy and knock him back. A growl escaped his throat as the image vanished, furious that the beast of a man would hit such a fragile looking boy like he did. No child deserved that kind of treatment.

He called to a house-elf to look over Harry and then vanished.

The door to number four burst open as a very livid looking Severus Snape came through. "Dursley." He snarled menacingly as the large man backed away from him.

Sorry it took so long. I had finished the chapter a week ago, but it was completely different and I hated it. So that chapter was scraped and I wrote this. Hope you like it.

J-Chan