"Love is not love until love is vulnerable" Theodore Roethke
"What is he doing here?" Squall asked me, his eyes still trained on Seifers, he obviously hadn't forgiven him for the things he'd done under Ultamecias control. He looked like he had lost weight in the few days I had been away and there were dark circles under his red eyes.
"Squall", I said moving slowly towards his desk, quietly hoping to calm his anger. "He's here to apologize. To apologize for everything and say a proper goodbye to Selphie" As I said her name I felt the sharp prick of tears in the corners of my eyes but I managed to control them before they ran down my cheeks. This was not the time for tears.
"I presume you helped him escape?" His asked, turning to me and rising from his chair.
" Yes, I did" I answered him with as much defiance in my voice as I could manage. "He was dying in there, and I believe his story, I'm sure you would too if you listened to what he had to say" I knew he wouldn't like my answer but I knew he opinion of me couldn't get any lower.
Squall moved from behind the desk and I thought for a second he was coming for me but he made towards Seifer, his hand on the Lionheart at his waist. In the few seconds it had taken Squall to cross the room Seifer had instinctively reached for his Hyperion but it was still locked up in the Esthar prison and his hand was left grasping for thin air. Instead of drawing his gunblade, Squalls free hand reached up and grabbed Seifers neck.
"Bullshit! ", he spat into Seifers face. "It's a load of bullshit! I couldn't give less of a damn about how or why the others believe you, but I don't! And as soon as the funeral is over I want you gone or you will go straight back to that hell hole prison you should have stayed in!" Seifer said nothing but turned his head to me and gave me a look of forced constraint, as if it was killing him to have to listen to Squalls accusations. But he kept his mouth shut even when Squall had finished his outburst. The brunette commander let go of blond convict, shot me a look of hatred and stormed out of the room slamming the door behind him.
I released the breath I had been holding all this time but I still held back my ready tears. Zell, who had been standing behind the desk all this time let out a sigh of relief and gave me a wiry smile.
"Nice to see you back Quistis" he said to me and nodded a hesitant greeting to Seifer. "It's late. You both look tired, I'II take you to your rooms"
Even at this late hour there were still students in the corridors and whispers and stares followed us.
"Well, this is your room" Zell said to Seifer as we got the guest quarters. There was a member of the garden faculty standing outside the door with a small Behemoth by his side.
"What the hells this for?!" Seifer said in shock to Zell.
"Sorry man", Zell said in a genuine apology, shrugging his shoulders. "It's for you own safety. There are others you know, it isn't just Squall that doesn't believe you. Some are after blood. Sorry, it's just how it is". Zell really did look sympathetic for a second but it quickly passed and his face was as empty of emotion as it was before. Seifer started towards the entrance of his room but turned back and mouthed 'good night' to me. I couldn't help it and I threw my arms around him, to try to apologize for the terrible day I'd put him through. I think he was a little shocked at my outburst of emotion as he remained still for a second but then I felt his arms reach around my back hesitantly and he returned my hug. I whispered goodnight in his ear and walked back to Zell. I had to stifle a laugh when I saw him trying to quickly erase the shock from his face.
Zell and I walked along the corridor to my quarters, which he told me hadn't been touched. I was surprised at Squalls consideration. I thought he would have removed my remaining belongings as soon as he realized I'd left.
"So how's Irvine holding up?" The question I had wanted to ask finally escaped my lips.
"Not good" Zell replied. He stopped and looked me straight in the eye "they were getting really serious. I think marriage had even been bought up a few times. He didn't speak at all for a while after it happened and he hasn't come out of his room in a long time"
He sighed loudly and went back to staring at the floor.
"There was a sadness that had settled over garden that day" said Zell as we continued walking. "Nothings bright or fun any more. Even the monsters in the training center aren't as active. Its just weird to see the students walk quietly to lessons instead of running like a mob, it's hard to believe how much of an effect her presence was to everyone"
I saw a silent tear roll across his cheek as he continued.
"I keep expecting for her to pop up and shout 'Surprise!!' like it's a big joke. I guess I want it to be. But she is gone and we'll never see that yellow dress again" He said, a small smile forming at the memory of Selphies favorite outfit and how we all used to gently tease her because of its length.
"Yeh, she always used to say that she like that colour and it had nothing to do with the fact that it made Irvine drool!"
We arrived at my room and parted with a simple goodbye, no hugs this time. I knew he wanted to ask about what I had been doing and Seifers involvement in it, but I think he knew I wouldn't answer his questions so he didn't say anything about it.
I opened my door and walked through into the room that had been my home for most of my life. I was my favorite place in the word and I hadn't realized how much I had missed it until I was back. For a few minutes I just sat on my lilac bed and looked around. The room didn't hold many emotional memories for me, just of studying and reading, that kind of thing but it was a quiet place of solitude and I cherished the simple memories of it. I stood up and walked over to the bookshelf, where all the books were arranged in alphabetical order of course. I pulled out my favorite book. The cover was fading because of its age and it was starting to look a little battered with all the folded over pages and the small coffee stain on the bridge of it. I turned it to my favorite chapter, when the girl finally gets the guy she's been dreaming about for years. I fell asleep reading it at my desk.
I awoke in the dead of night, the whole garden was silent. I considered changing and getting into bed rather than falling asleep again at my desk but for some reason I knew I wouldn't sleep. I grabbed my whip and headed for the training center. I hadn't fought a good battle in a few days and I also wanted to go to the secret area I'd visited with Squall the night of his SeeD graduation.
The training center was deadly quiet when I entered; I guess even monsters have to sleep sometime. I got to the secret area without any battles, simply walking past the sleeping monsters. I was tempted to poke a T-rexaur to get a little battle action, but I dismissed the thought and carried on. The secret area was empty when I got there. It usually had at least a couple of students but by this time of night it was deserted. I looked over the balcony onto the sleeping garden. It was so peaceful; it was hard to believe the betrayals, uproars and battles that had happened there. I slowly came to realize how dramatic the past few days had been. Leaving garden, helping a known convict escape jail, the death of a dear friend and finally my unexpected return to Garden. As I stood there I was considerably aware that there was one happy soul missing from her room and she'd never be there again. Selphie had been a wonderful person and friend. She'd always been the one to cheer me up in the bleakest and darkest times. But the circumstances surrounding her death seemed odd to me. Her helping Rinoa wasn't a surprise as she was willing to help any one who asked, but why hadn't she junctioned any GFs? She was the highest rank a SeeD could be and defeating a T-rexaur shouldn't have been too much trouble even without a GF junctioned. And why hadn't Rinoa cast a life spell, she was a sorceress her powers were certainly good enough to cast a very effective life spell. It was just very peculiar.
My thoughts went from Selphie to Seifer. I firmly believed his story and I was sure even Squalls doubts would be cast aside if he would only listen to him. I was full of sympathy for him. I didn't he'd be able to survive in the real world now, with the amount of people who mistrusted him and wanted to see his blood run.
I heard a noise behind me a turned, whip ready in hand. But it was Seifer.
"Expecting someone?" he smirked at how tense I was.
"I couldn't sleep so I figured I'd try my fists against some of the low level monsters but apparently there's no action to be had at all around here at night", he explained his presence to me. "I saw a shadow in here and I thought I'd come and investigate"
"I guess being on a disciplinary committee most of your life puts that kind of suspicion in you hey?" I asked him.
"Nah I think I'm just naturally nosy", he replied with a smile. "So what are you doing out here at this time of night then instructor?"
"Don't call me that", I answered him harshly, more upset than I realized about loosing another thing I loved. "I'm pretty sure I'm not an instructor anymore. I mean, I walked out of my job and home without telling anyone where I was going or why. I presume Squall fired me on the spot when he realized I'd disappeared"
"So why did you leave then?" he asked me looking me squarely in the eyes. I knew the question would come eventually. I still wasn't sure how much I wanted him to know but the whole story of the ball, my confession of love for Squall and our kiss came spilling out to a composed Seifer.
"I thought so," he said almost to him self when I'd finished. "I always thought there was something between you and him but I was never sure who was attracted to who. And now I know" I'd never realized how observant he was, I had presumed his mocking before had been groundless.
"I'm sorry. It always hurts to be rejected" he was showing me a side of him I'd never really thought possible. A caring and sympathetic side that was, well, just ..attractive! It was impossible to deny his good looks but I never realized he had a personality to match. Things certainly were changing!
"I nearly died when Rinoa finished it with me. I was devastated," He continued. His honesty surprised me.
We stood in a comfortable silence for a few more minutes. As we stood there the sun rose beautifully over garden. Rays of red, yellow and orange lighting the secret area.
"Well, I don't know about you" I said breaking the silence. "But I'm tired, I think I'II try to get a few more hours sleep before the funeral" He agreed and we walked out of the training center, the monsters sleep undisturbed by the bright sunrise. We parted at my room. No hugs this time just a long held look and simple good night. As soon as I got into my room I crashed onto the bed and fell asleep with a silly grin on my face.
I promise that the next chapter will have snogs and stuff, so tell me what you think of this in a lovely REVIEW!!! Please!!
"What is he doing here?" Squall asked me, his eyes still trained on Seifers, he obviously hadn't forgiven him for the things he'd done under Ultamecias control. He looked like he had lost weight in the few days I had been away and there were dark circles under his red eyes.
"Squall", I said moving slowly towards his desk, quietly hoping to calm his anger. "He's here to apologize. To apologize for everything and say a proper goodbye to Selphie" As I said her name I felt the sharp prick of tears in the corners of my eyes but I managed to control them before they ran down my cheeks. This was not the time for tears.
"I presume you helped him escape?" His asked, turning to me and rising from his chair.
" Yes, I did" I answered him with as much defiance in my voice as I could manage. "He was dying in there, and I believe his story, I'm sure you would too if you listened to what he had to say" I knew he wouldn't like my answer but I knew he opinion of me couldn't get any lower.
Squall moved from behind the desk and I thought for a second he was coming for me but he made towards Seifer, his hand on the Lionheart at his waist. In the few seconds it had taken Squall to cross the room Seifer had instinctively reached for his Hyperion but it was still locked up in the Esthar prison and his hand was left grasping for thin air. Instead of drawing his gunblade, Squalls free hand reached up and grabbed Seifers neck.
"Bullshit! ", he spat into Seifers face. "It's a load of bullshit! I couldn't give less of a damn about how or why the others believe you, but I don't! And as soon as the funeral is over I want you gone or you will go straight back to that hell hole prison you should have stayed in!" Seifer said nothing but turned his head to me and gave me a look of forced constraint, as if it was killing him to have to listen to Squalls accusations. But he kept his mouth shut even when Squall had finished his outburst. The brunette commander let go of blond convict, shot me a look of hatred and stormed out of the room slamming the door behind him.
I released the breath I had been holding all this time but I still held back my ready tears. Zell, who had been standing behind the desk all this time let out a sigh of relief and gave me a wiry smile.
"Nice to see you back Quistis" he said to me and nodded a hesitant greeting to Seifer. "It's late. You both look tired, I'II take you to your rooms"
Even at this late hour there were still students in the corridors and whispers and stares followed us.
"Well, this is your room" Zell said to Seifer as we got the guest quarters. There was a member of the garden faculty standing outside the door with a small Behemoth by his side.
"What the hells this for?!" Seifer said in shock to Zell.
"Sorry man", Zell said in a genuine apology, shrugging his shoulders. "It's for you own safety. There are others you know, it isn't just Squall that doesn't believe you. Some are after blood. Sorry, it's just how it is". Zell really did look sympathetic for a second but it quickly passed and his face was as empty of emotion as it was before. Seifer started towards the entrance of his room but turned back and mouthed 'good night' to me. I couldn't help it and I threw my arms around him, to try to apologize for the terrible day I'd put him through. I think he was a little shocked at my outburst of emotion as he remained still for a second but then I felt his arms reach around my back hesitantly and he returned my hug. I whispered goodnight in his ear and walked back to Zell. I had to stifle a laugh when I saw him trying to quickly erase the shock from his face.
Zell and I walked along the corridor to my quarters, which he told me hadn't been touched. I was surprised at Squalls consideration. I thought he would have removed my remaining belongings as soon as he realized I'd left.
"So how's Irvine holding up?" The question I had wanted to ask finally escaped my lips.
"Not good" Zell replied. He stopped and looked me straight in the eye "they were getting really serious. I think marriage had even been bought up a few times. He didn't speak at all for a while after it happened and he hasn't come out of his room in a long time"
He sighed loudly and went back to staring at the floor.
"There was a sadness that had settled over garden that day" said Zell as we continued walking. "Nothings bright or fun any more. Even the monsters in the training center aren't as active. Its just weird to see the students walk quietly to lessons instead of running like a mob, it's hard to believe how much of an effect her presence was to everyone"
I saw a silent tear roll across his cheek as he continued.
"I keep expecting for her to pop up and shout 'Surprise!!' like it's a big joke. I guess I want it to be. But she is gone and we'll never see that yellow dress again" He said, a small smile forming at the memory of Selphies favorite outfit and how we all used to gently tease her because of its length.
"Yeh, she always used to say that she like that colour and it had nothing to do with the fact that it made Irvine drool!"
We arrived at my room and parted with a simple goodbye, no hugs this time. I knew he wanted to ask about what I had been doing and Seifers involvement in it, but I think he knew I wouldn't answer his questions so he didn't say anything about it.
I opened my door and walked through into the room that had been my home for most of my life. I was my favorite place in the word and I hadn't realized how much I had missed it until I was back. For a few minutes I just sat on my lilac bed and looked around. The room didn't hold many emotional memories for me, just of studying and reading, that kind of thing but it was a quiet place of solitude and I cherished the simple memories of it. I stood up and walked over to the bookshelf, where all the books were arranged in alphabetical order of course. I pulled out my favorite book. The cover was fading because of its age and it was starting to look a little battered with all the folded over pages and the small coffee stain on the bridge of it. I turned it to my favorite chapter, when the girl finally gets the guy she's been dreaming about for years. I fell asleep reading it at my desk.
I awoke in the dead of night, the whole garden was silent. I considered changing and getting into bed rather than falling asleep again at my desk but for some reason I knew I wouldn't sleep. I grabbed my whip and headed for the training center. I hadn't fought a good battle in a few days and I also wanted to go to the secret area I'd visited with Squall the night of his SeeD graduation.
The training center was deadly quiet when I entered; I guess even monsters have to sleep sometime. I got to the secret area without any battles, simply walking past the sleeping monsters. I was tempted to poke a T-rexaur to get a little battle action, but I dismissed the thought and carried on. The secret area was empty when I got there. It usually had at least a couple of students but by this time of night it was deserted. I looked over the balcony onto the sleeping garden. It was so peaceful; it was hard to believe the betrayals, uproars and battles that had happened there. I slowly came to realize how dramatic the past few days had been. Leaving garden, helping a known convict escape jail, the death of a dear friend and finally my unexpected return to Garden. As I stood there I was considerably aware that there was one happy soul missing from her room and she'd never be there again. Selphie had been a wonderful person and friend. She'd always been the one to cheer me up in the bleakest and darkest times. But the circumstances surrounding her death seemed odd to me. Her helping Rinoa wasn't a surprise as she was willing to help any one who asked, but why hadn't she junctioned any GFs? She was the highest rank a SeeD could be and defeating a T-rexaur shouldn't have been too much trouble even without a GF junctioned. And why hadn't Rinoa cast a life spell, she was a sorceress her powers were certainly good enough to cast a very effective life spell. It was just very peculiar.
My thoughts went from Selphie to Seifer. I firmly believed his story and I was sure even Squalls doubts would be cast aside if he would only listen to him. I was full of sympathy for him. I didn't he'd be able to survive in the real world now, with the amount of people who mistrusted him and wanted to see his blood run.
I heard a noise behind me a turned, whip ready in hand. But it was Seifer.
"Expecting someone?" he smirked at how tense I was.
"I couldn't sleep so I figured I'd try my fists against some of the low level monsters but apparently there's no action to be had at all around here at night", he explained his presence to me. "I saw a shadow in here and I thought I'd come and investigate"
"I guess being on a disciplinary committee most of your life puts that kind of suspicion in you hey?" I asked him.
"Nah I think I'm just naturally nosy", he replied with a smile. "So what are you doing out here at this time of night then instructor?"
"Don't call me that", I answered him harshly, more upset than I realized about loosing another thing I loved. "I'm pretty sure I'm not an instructor anymore. I mean, I walked out of my job and home without telling anyone where I was going or why. I presume Squall fired me on the spot when he realized I'd disappeared"
"So why did you leave then?" he asked me looking me squarely in the eyes. I knew the question would come eventually. I still wasn't sure how much I wanted him to know but the whole story of the ball, my confession of love for Squall and our kiss came spilling out to a composed Seifer.
"I thought so," he said almost to him self when I'd finished. "I always thought there was something between you and him but I was never sure who was attracted to who. And now I know" I'd never realized how observant he was, I had presumed his mocking before had been groundless.
"I'm sorry. It always hurts to be rejected" he was showing me a side of him I'd never really thought possible. A caring and sympathetic side that was, well, just ..attractive! It was impossible to deny his good looks but I never realized he had a personality to match. Things certainly were changing!
"I nearly died when Rinoa finished it with me. I was devastated," He continued. His honesty surprised me.
We stood in a comfortable silence for a few more minutes. As we stood there the sun rose beautifully over garden. Rays of red, yellow and orange lighting the secret area.
"Well, I don't know about you" I said breaking the silence. "But I'm tired, I think I'II try to get a few more hours sleep before the funeral" He agreed and we walked out of the training center, the monsters sleep undisturbed by the bright sunrise. We parted at my room. No hugs this time just a long held look and simple good night. As soon as I got into my room I crashed onto the bed and fell asleep with a silly grin on my face.
I promise that the next chapter will have snogs and stuff, so tell me what you think of this in a lovely REVIEW!!! Please!!