Brooke couldn't stop staring up at the ceiling. 1,042. That's how many little crinkly designs she had counted on the ceiling of the Hilton room 342 that was acting as a temporary home while she and Tarah were in Chicago on a business trip their firm had sponsored for a Procedures and Analysis seminar. Brooke's body was tired and she was mentally worn. Normally the occasional company travel to various parts of the U.S. was considered a perk but hopping on a plane across the country and sitting through three days of treacherously boring business briefings had beeke like staying at the Hilton. It was probably her favorite hotel chain. The rooms were always so clean and nice, they always have a nice gym on the first floor and the pillows are always fluffed just right. She was big on the fluffy pillow thing and that along with an afternoon at the spa provided the relaxation she so desperately needed. Still even a fun day filled with shopping and pampering hadn't been able to erase Lucas Scott completely from her mind.
Brooke yawned again and even thought about getting to the lobby restaurant for the breakfast bar but at the last minute decided against it. She only had her to tears but it hadn't been all bad. At least Tarah was there for company. All expenses were prepaid by the company and at least the women had been put up in the Hilton. Actually, Brooke like staying at the Hilton. It was probably her favorite hotel chain. The rooms were always so clean and nice, they always have a nice gym on the first floor and the pillows are always fluffed just right. She was big on the fluffy pillow thing and that along with an afternoon at the spa provided the relaxation she so desperately needed. Still even a fun day filled with shopping and pampering hadn't been able to erase Lucas Scott completely from her mind.
Brooke yawned again and even thought about getting to the lobby restaurant for the breakfast bar but at the last minute decided against it. She only had about ten minutes to make it so instead opted to watch a little TV. TV was so boring lately, she thought, as she bounced from one stupid reality show to the next before half heartedly settling on some golf tournament on ESPN. Across the room on the other bed, Tarah yawned in a deepened slumber. She looked utterly peaceful and content and Brooke silently wished that sleep would come for herself that easily. It had been weeks since she had slept more than a few hours and when she did, the nights were often spent tossing and turning. It amazed her that the presence of one man had the ability to alter her entire way of life. With Luke on the brain it was hard to focus at work, difficult to get a good night's sleep and all hopes of a normal social life had been flushed down the toilet. The once enjoyable club scene now seemed fickle and shallow. When she was around her girlfriends, it was hard to think and when she was alone all she did was think. Sometimes she thought she might go crazy but at least there was Tarah. Tarah was a good friend who gave good advice and was always up for a talk.
"Psst...Tarah! Hey Tarah, you awake girl?"
Sp much for always being up for a talk. Tarah was dead to the world. Never deterred, in typical Brooke Davis fashion, she rolled up a piece of paper and tossed it, aiming it straight at the head of her sleeping friend.
"Tarah? You awake?"
"Now I am", the other woman muttered. "Must have something to do with the giant paper ball that just landed on the side of my face."
"Oh", Brooke said sadly.
Tarah couldn't help but smile. Brooke, ever the brat, was giving her the puppy dog eyes. And who could resist those?
"Okay, okay, I'm up now you dork. What's going on? How long have you been awake?"
"Oh since about four a.m. unfortunately", she answered, rolling her eyes."Uh oh. Everything okay?" Tarah asked as she stretched again before getting up to go to the bathroom."I'm okay, I guess."
"Cool. You wanna grab something to eat...Jesus, it smells like smoke in here."
"Must have been the people who stayed here before us", Brooke offered sheepishly.
Tarah shot her a knowing look and Brooke half smiled. She had been a cigarette smoker on and off since her teenage years but it was much easier to succumb to the urges of habit in times of mental and emotional crisis. It was a definite nerve soother and Lucas Scott had definitely been on her nerves as of late. "Yeah right", Tarah laughed. "Okay girl, talk to me. You've fallen of the nicotine wagon yet again so apparently this is more serious than I thought. Now what's going on?"
"Well, I hate to beat a dead horse and keep bugging you with this again but..."
"But it's the talented Mr. Scott, right?"
"How did you guess?" Brooke teased sarcastically.
"Because you've been noticeably different ever since he came back into your life."
"Tarah, he's not in my life."
"May as well be. He's in your thoughts and more importantly he's in your heart. I just hate seeing you like this Brooke. You're my friend and I care about you but you haven't been yourself lately. Normally you're this feisty, borderline annoyingly cheery, fun, crazy chick...the life of the party. Lately you're all quiet and withdrawn and reserved. I don't like it. I know you have a lot on your mind but I hate seeing you like this."
"Trust me, I hate feeling like this."
"Well then do something about it. Resolve the situation once and for all."
"How? I've tried to think of how to do that at least a hundred times."
"Okay...there is a lot of tension from you and Luke dating back to things that happened in your past, stuff that never got resolved, right?"
"Yeah."
"And you do admit that he has been on your mind for a while, even before you saw him and even before you went to visit your Gran?"
"Yeah."
"Then you see him again, it's really tense and awkward, you guys fight, have sex and then leave things totally up in the air once again."
"Something like that. Tarah, what are you getting at?"
"Brooke, I am saying the only way to solve this is to have the big confrontation and come clean. Put everything out on the table. Talk. It might hurt bringing up painful stuff from the past but I'm telling you, neither one of you is going to have a very peaceful future unless you bury this situation once and for all. I see it killing you inside and I'm sure it's doing the same thing to him."
Brooke sighed as she knew her friend was right. Still talking things out with Luke was more complicated than it seemed. So much had happened between them.
"It's not that easy, Tarah. I wish I could pick up the phone and confront him and get all this crap settled once and for all."
"Then don't", Tarah shrugged. "Don't call him."
"But if I don't call and he doesn't call me, then how are we ever gonna get this figured out?"
Tarah gave her a look that spoke a thousand words. It didn't take a genius to know what she was implying and the very thought made Brooke want to throw up.
"No! Oh my God, Tarah are you...no way!"
"What?"
"I do not want to see him in person again!"
"It's not about what you want, it's about what you need. You can't avoid the situation forever and what else are you going to do? Play phone tag for a few months? Figure out your past and future over Instant Messenger? Wait, I get it, send him some fan mail."
"Oh Tarah, you're being a tool."
"No, you're being a tool if you don't do this Brooke."
Brooke sighed with exasperation while thinking of excuses to avoid the inevitable.
"His team won't be in Orlando anymore this season."
"Ha! Is that the best you could come up with? That's weak, dude, real weak. See, they have this new little invention out and I think you happen to own one...it's called a car!"
"What Tarah? Am I supposed to just show up and tell him everything I feel and demand an explanation?"
"Yes!"
"Tarah..."
"One of you has to make the first move so you may as well quit being a big baby and go for it. Be the bigger person."
"What would I say?"
"The truth, whatever that is. And whatever is in your heart. Brooke, you can do this. You have to. It might not easy but in the end, I think it'll be worth it. Besides, this isn't some total stranger. This is someone you've known your whole life, someone you were very close to at one point. I'm telling you, go for it. Talk it out. You'll be glad you did. You owe it to him and more than that, you owe it to yourself."
As scared as she was, as much as Brooke didn't want to do it, she knew what she had to do. Tarah was right. Once upon a time Brooke had looked into looks eyes and saw her soul, her whole future. He was the one man she had loved and trusted more than anything. She had always been able to tell him any and every thing.
"So...what are you gonna do?"
Brooke nodded and took a deep breath.
"What I have to do. You're right Tarah. You're absolutely right. I have to do this and in order to do it, I have to go back to where it all started."