CHP 3 – LA Angel season three
I was still in shock. I couldn't believe it. Silence reigned in the room and neither of us was willing to challenge it. Finally I decided I needed something else if we were going to talk about this now.
"I don't suppose you've got something a little stronger than this do you?" He looked up in mild surprise more at the sound of my voice I think than the question I asked. After a second he nodded and then pointed at a cabinet behind my head. After fortifying my coffee and then myself with his Irish whiskey I returned to my seat and leaned back.
"Okay. Wow. So she's really dead. I never even got the chance to thank her properly."
"Well, she's not actually dead now." He said.
"WHAT?!?" I was amazed and pissed off at the same time. "How could you do that to me? How could you not tell me she was alive?!" I was standing and shouting at him now. He seemed like to fall off of his chair. What the hell was happening? Was he playing with me; testing me?
"Wait a minute and I'll explain everything. Calm down. I can't make you understand unless you're willing to listen." I sat back down and took a few sips of my coffee and tried hard to center myself again. I got myself under control and nodded for him to continue.
"Buffy got killed by a magic portal created by the blood of her sister who was originally a magic key as old as time. Once the portal was opened by an old god cast out of her own dimension that Buffy defeated, the portal had to be closed by Dawn's blood. That's her sister by the way. So Buffy figured that Dawn's blood is her blood and she jumped through the portal in her place and died." After he told me when it happened I had to think a bit about when it was I saw her last and something didn't add up.
"Then who was it that I saw. I could have sworn it was her. She did say something kind of weird though. She told the vamp a knock knock joke before she staked him." He thought for a moment before responding.
"She did used to always have a snappy comeback ready during her fights. I think that what you saw was the Buffy bot. A robot made to look like her."
"Did they have it made after she died?"
"Not exactly one of our old enemies actually had it made."
"Why would one of your enemies build a robot that looked exactly like the slayer but without the intelligence of her? Oh. Wait. Don't answer that."
"Yeah." He leaned back in his chair and sighed.
"So how did she get back? Y'know, from being dead and all."
"Her friend Willow brought her back. She's a powerful witch and she made a plea to Osirus. Buffy came back. She's been back for a few days now from what Willow tells me. Seems to be doing so far, but I haven't heard from her directly yet and I'm not really expecting to. She's been through a lot where she was."
"I can only imagine."
"I don't have to. I've been there myself and I can feel for her. I want to go see her, but it's too soon for that. She just got back and I don't want to overwhelm her." All this was good to know, but it wasn't getting me what I really wanted to know, time to get back on track. Here we go.
"So how serious were you guys when you were together?" if it was possible he slumped down even further in his chair and he took a long time in answering.
"We were serious. I loved Buffy more than anyone else in all of two hundred years. No one could really replace her in my heart, but we could never be together. I know that now. I could never make her truly happy. I could never be for her what she needed. If I ever have just a single moment of happiness my curse is lifted and I lose my soul."
"By happiness you mean..."
"Exactly."
"Oh. I see. I'm sorry man, really I am. So what about you guys now?"
"Now... there is no us now. She's got her own life and her own problems just like I've got mine. We pretty much stay away from each other; as much as possible actually. As long as the temptation exists it's better if it's not waved in front of your nose like bone in front of a dog." He was getting emotional now and I was the one drinking. Something here wasn't right.
"So if losing your soul wasn't an issue, what do you think would happen? Would the two of you be together?"
"I don't know why I'm even telling you this. Maybe it's just nice to have someone else around here with a brooding kind of feel to him. I became human once. I had a soul, I could feel and taste and eat. I could have Buffy. It happened when she came to visit her dad two years ago. We were together at last and it was perfect."
"I'm sensing a but here."
"But I was just human. I became a liability to her. Someone she had to protect. I couldn't stay like that. I am a champion for the powers that be. I fight the fight that you fight for the same reason, no one else can. With me here like I am, I can do some good. I can save people. I couldn't just stop doing that; people would die. So I went back to the Oracle for the Powers and asked them to make the day disappear. That day never happened for everyone else but me." The only thing I could think of to say was wow, and that just wouldn't cut it right now. I picked up the bottle and offered it to him before I took a swig of it for myself. Was it truly better to have loved and lost? I was still marveling at the idea of a perfect love for just one day before fate and the world stepped in, when he spoke again.
"It's over. It never happened, remember that." I wasn't sure if he was trying to convince me or himself.
"Don't worry about it, man. We're on the same side remember, the same team. You need something and I got your back just like you got mine, right?" Maybe I was a little inebriated, but it was the truth. He'd said it himself, we were fighting the same fight for the same reason.
"It's what I do. All of us (his team). And I might not have to ever make that call, but if I do it's good to know it will be answered."
"Hey, I gotta get going if I'm gonna get some sleep before I track down Carleton tomorrow. Thanks for the drink and the conversation. I like hearing about other peoples lives; it helps keep mine in perspective and reminds me that it's all real." He was quiet, still thinking probably, as I gave him my cell number and the number to my drop-box. Then I stood up and put the bottle away and rinsed out my coffee cup before heading back to the lobby where he was standing waiting.
"Sure you don't need any help tomorrow; it'll give me something to do."
"Thanks, but I can handle one man and his personal protection staff."
I turned to go to the door and took a few steps but stopped to turn and look at him again before I asked him for something I desperately wanted to know.
"What's she like? I mean like in person not when she's saving people."
"She's always saving people, even when they don't always deserve it. She's a good person. Sweet, caring, a leader. The kind of person who always takes care of those around her and does what needs to be done even if it's not something she wants to do. She's also funny and creative and witty. And she's alive." We both stood there in silence for a minute to let the utter appreciation of that concept sink into us. Then I turned again to leave and made it to the door before he spoke again.
"In case I don't see you again before you go find her, good luck and tell her I said hello." It almost wasn't until he said it that I realized it was what I was going to have to do eventually. Find Buffy. I nodded at him and then walked out the door and into the penetrating night. I walked, at first just to clear my thoughts and then just because the rhythm of my own feet hitting the ground created vibrations in the world I could see and understand. I walked past my hotel twice before I finally turned into the entrance way and went up to my room to sleep off the headache I could already fell as the after-effect of being so open to so many people at once.
I woke up early and put on a fresh white undershirt and then a blue buttoned collared shirt left undone under my leather jacket. I put on my boots before I reached under my pillow for my pistol and tucked it into my black jeans beneath my shirt. As I left the hotel I waved at the guy at the desk who'd pulled a string to get me a room on short notice. I got into the waiting cab outside and had it drop me off a few blocks from Carleton's office. As I walked through the front door two armed security guards stood up and moved to either side of me.
"Look guys, I just want to talk to Mr. Carleton, alright? No problems." They still didn't seem to happy to see me, but they did escort me to the elevator and then, once on the 12th floor, down to his lobby to wait until he was available. During the intervening ten minutes I tried a few things to get them to leave, unfortunately none of them worked. Oh well, here we go into his office and the door shuts behind us.
"Well, look who it is. Mr. McBoom, how've you been lately?"
"Me? Oh I've been just fine, aside from being attacked by random demons sent by someone to kill me. How about you?"
"Can't complain. So what do you want from me? Why are you here?" Straight to business, just the way I like it.
"You owe me. I would even be willing to accept payment in cash if you could convince me I can leave you at my back. Although, since you've already betrayed me once, you'd probably have to work pretty hard to do it."
"So just like that, without hearing what I have to say, you're just going to kill me and have that be the end of it. I'm afraid my lawyers were right about you, and that pisses me off almost more than you wanting to kill me in my own office." He stood and walked from behind his desk and to my right and began playing with the crystal decanter filling one glass for him-self. He didn't offer and I would not have accepted. At least that much was clear between us.
"See, that's the differences that make this country great. The last former employer of mine that tried to kill me didn't get the chance to talk. You didn't just affront me with your rudeness, you tried to have me killed instead of paying the rest of what you owe me. The way I see it, you owe me for killing two demons instead of the one we contracted for. That means you owe me more than just money, and my Honor won't let me leave that loose end undone. Now you've still got two choices: you can pay me twice my fee for two demons and let me walk out of here without a fight and as long as we don't ever see each other again, everybody's happy; or I could just kill you right now, right the rest of my fee off as a cost for the entertainment it would afford me to put you out of my misery. It's all your choice."
He seemed to contemplate for a minute of absolute silence in the room except for the rhythmic ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner behind me. It groaned out the change of the hour slowly, like it was almost too tired to make it through that one note.
He reached into a drawer in his desk and asked me if I would take a check. I jumped backwards over my chair as I pulled my pistol out of my belt and as I landed I sprung again sideways into a spinning roll. Just in time as the clock that was behind me exploded from the .45 caliber round fired from the colt still pointed at the clock as I fired. The gun slowly dropped from his limp fingers as he collapsed back into his chair. I swung to cover the two bodyguards, but they were just standing there in shock. Just as I suspected, inexperienced muscle. They made no moves for their weapons, so I shot them too.
I checked his office for some papers, but didn't find much. I took anything relating to me and a few things that looked kind of prophesy-ey. Finally behind the painting (of course) I found his wall safe and broke the combo and found more than I could have hoped for. I took only what he owed me and even left him a receipt for it before I closed and locked the safe door and restored the room to order which included taking the bullets and the recoil spring out of his pistol. He started to come around as I was leaving.
"I know you can hear me, even if you won't be able to move for the next fifteen minutes or so. That gives me plenty of time to get away and you plenty of time to think about why I didn't kill you. You need to understand that killing me won't make your life any better and when you can finally move you need to endorse my receipt and make sure you call off any other attacks on me you might have planned. If you ever come near me again, it will be your last." He tried to say something, but it just came out as a kind of groaning moan and a ball of drool rolling down his chin. I walked out knowing that the tranquilizer I hit them with also suppressed short term memory but also had a hypnotic effect. They would remember that I was there, but it would be more like a vague impression with none of the feelings involved and they would do as I told them to.
I walked out of the building lobby with a self content smile on my face and without anyone stopping me or even giving me a second look; just the way I like it. I got into the same cab I told to come back for me and had him drop me off at the bank where I walked straight past the tellers to the back office. I dropped the bag with the money in it on mike's desk. He's the manager of this bank and he owes me a few favors for saving his life a while back. He counted out the money in front of me and wrote me out a deposit slip all without saying a word until I turned to leave. "Thanks." He said. I just nodded smiling at him and then disappeared out the door. Having time to myself, I stopped by a small outdoor restaurant café for a quick bite to eat.
Making it back to my hotel room without being followed and with no problems afforded me the opportunity to do some much needed thinking. The problem I faced now, as usual, was what to do next with my life. I didn't really have anywhere else to go or anything else to do, at least nothing pressing anyway. I did still very much want to go find Buffy either to help her out or to learn from her. Okay, so I was lying to myself again. I wanted to find Buffy to repay my debt to her. She saved my life and therefore it was now at her disposal. If she needed anything, I would be there for her in whatever way I could. Something about her struck me as special and important and definitely worth the wait for me to be worthy of her. Someone truly able to help the Slayer.
Looking at it now I figured the best way for me to learn about Buffy without actually being there myself would have to be through her ex. Angel knew more about her than anyone else I was likely to find, and I might as well make the most of it and help him out here in L.A. while I'm here. Besides, I'm sure there's a thing or two that I could learn from someone as old as he is even if he wasn't a great fighter and champion. I definitely will not be any the worse off for spending some time here. Glancing at my watch I decided it'd probably be okay for to head off to the Hyperion. Before I did, however, I traded the tranquilizer pistol for my real one; just in case.
I was still in shock. I couldn't believe it. Silence reigned in the room and neither of us was willing to challenge it. Finally I decided I needed something else if we were going to talk about this now.
"I don't suppose you've got something a little stronger than this do you?" He looked up in mild surprise more at the sound of my voice I think than the question I asked. After a second he nodded and then pointed at a cabinet behind my head. After fortifying my coffee and then myself with his Irish whiskey I returned to my seat and leaned back.
"Okay. Wow. So she's really dead. I never even got the chance to thank her properly."
"Well, she's not actually dead now." He said.
"WHAT?!?" I was amazed and pissed off at the same time. "How could you do that to me? How could you not tell me she was alive?!" I was standing and shouting at him now. He seemed like to fall off of his chair. What the hell was happening? Was he playing with me; testing me?
"Wait a minute and I'll explain everything. Calm down. I can't make you understand unless you're willing to listen." I sat back down and took a few sips of my coffee and tried hard to center myself again. I got myself under control and nodded for him to continue.
"Buffy got killed by a magic portal created by the blood of her sister who was originally a magic key as old as time. Once the portal was opened by an old god cast out of her own dimension that Buffy defeated, the portal had to be closed by Dawn's blood. That's her sister by the way. So Buffy figured that Dawn's blood is her blood and she jumped through the portal in her place and died." After he told me when it happened I had to think a bit about when it was I saw her last and something didn't add up.
"Then who was it that I saw. I could have sworn it was her. She did say something kind of weird though. She told the vamp a knock knock joke before she staked him." He thought for a moment before responding.
"She did used to always have a snappy comeback ready during her fights. I think that what you saw was the Buffy bot. A robot made to look like her."
"Did they have it made after she died?"
"Not exactly one of our old enemies actually had it made."
"Why would one of your enemies build a robot that looked exactly like the slayer but without the intelligence of her? Oh. Wait. Don't answer that."
"Yeah." He leaned back in his chair and sighed.
"So how did she get back? Y'know, from being dead and all."
"Her friend Willow brought her back. She's a powerful witch and she made a plea to Osirus. Buffy came back. She's been back for a few days now from what Willow tells me. Seems to be doing so far, but I haven't heard from her directly yet and I'm not really expecting to. She's been through a lot where she was."
"I can only imagine."
"I don't have to. I've been there myself and I can feel for her. I want to go see her, but it's too soon for that. She just got back and I don't want to overwhelm her." All this was good to know, but it wasn't getting me what I really wanted to know, time to get back on track. Here we go.
"So how serious were you guys when you were together?" if it was possible he slumped down even further in his chair and he took a long time in answering.
"We were serious. I loved Buffy more than anyone else in all of two hundred years. No one could really replace her in my heart, but we could never be together. I know that now. I could never make her truly happy. I could never be for her what she needed. If I ever have just a single moment of happiness my curse is lifted and I lose my soul."
"By happiness you mean..."
"Exactly."
"Oh. I see. I'm sorry man, really I am. So what about you guys now?"
"Now... there is no us now. She's got her own life and her own problems just like I've got mine. We pretty much stay away from each other; as much as possible actually. As long as the temptation exists it's better if it's not waved in front of your nose like bone in front of a dog." He was getting emotional now and I was the one drinking. Something here wasn't right.
"So if losing your soul wasn't an issue, what do you think would happen? Would the two of you be together?"
"I don't know why I'm even telling you this. Maybe it's just nice to have someone else around here with a brooding kind of feel to him. I became human once. I had a soul, I could feel and taste and eat. I could have Buffy. It happened when she came to visit her dad two years ago. We were together at last and it was perfect."
"I'm sensing a but here."
"But I was just human. I became a liability to her. Someone she had to protect. I couldn't stay like that. I am a champion for the powers that be. I fight the fight that you fight for the same reason, no one else can. With me here like I am, I can do some good. I can save people. I couldn't just stop doing that; people would die. So I went back to the Oracle for the Powers and asked them to make the day disappear. That day never happened for everyone else but me." The only thing I could think of to say was wow, and that just wouldn't cut it right now. I picked up the bottle and offered it to him before I took a swig of it for myself. Was it truly better to have loved and lost? I was still marveling at the idea of a perfect love for just one day before fate and the world stepped in, when he spoke again.
"It's over. It never happened, remember that." I wasn't sure if he was trying to convince me or himself.
"Don't worry about it, man. We're on the same side remember, the same team. You need something and I got your back just like you got mine, right?" Maybe I was a little inebriated, but it was the truth. He'd said it himself, we were fighting the same fight for the same reason.
"It's what I do. All of us (his team). And I might not have to ever make that call, but if I do it's good to know it will be answered."
"Hey, I gotta get going if I'm gonna get some sleep before I track down Carleton tomorrow. Thanks for the drink and the conversation. I like hearing about other peoples lives; it helps keep mine in perspective and reminds me that it's all real." He was quiet, still thinking probably, as I gave him my cell number and the number to my drop-box. Then I stood up and put the bottle away and rinsed out my coffee cup before heading back to the lobby where he was standing waiting.
"Sure you don't need any help tomorrow; it'll give me something to do."
"Thanks, but I can handle one man and his personal protection staff."
I turned to go to the door and took a few steps but stopped to turn and look at him again before I asked him for something I desperately wanted to know.
"What's she like? I mean like in person not when she's saving people."
"She's always saving people, even when they don't always deserve it. She's a good person. Sweet, caring, a leader. The kind of person who always takes care of those around her and does what needs to be done even if it's not something she wants to do. She's also funny and creative and witty. And she's alive." We both stood there in silence for a minute to let the utter appreciation of that concept sink into us. Then I turned again to leave and made it to the door before he spoke again.
"In case I don't see you again before you go find her, good luck and tell her I said hello." It almost wasn't until he said it that I realized it was what I was going to have to do eventually. Find Buffy. I nodded at him and then walked out the door and into the penetrating night. I walked, at first just to clear my thoughts and then just because the rhythm of my own feet hitting the ground created vibrations in the world I could see and understand. I walked past my hotel twice before I finally turned into the entrance way and went up to my room to sleep off the headache I could already fell as the after-effect of being so open to so many people at once.
I woke up early and put on a fresh white undershirt and then a blue buttoned collared shirt left undone under my leather jacket. I put on my boots before I reached under my pillow for my pistol and tucked it into my black jeans beneath my shirt. As I left the hotel I waved at the guy at the desk who'd pulled a string to get me a room on short notice. I got into the waiting cab outside and had it drop me off a few blocks from Carleton's office. As I walked through the front door two armed security guards stood up and moved to either side of me.
"Look guys, I just want to talk to Mr. Carleton, alright? No problems." They still didn't seem to happy to see me, but they did escort me to the elevator and then, once on the 12th floor, down to his lobby to wait until he was available. During the intervening ten minutes I tried a few things to get them to leave, unfortunately none of them worked. Oh well, here we go into his office and the door shuts behind us.
"Well, look who it is. Mr. McBoom, how've you been lately?"
"Me? Oh I've been just fine, aside from being attacked by random demons sent by someone to kill me. How about you?"
"Can't complain. So what do you want from me? Why are you here?" Straight to business, just the way I like it.
"You owe me. I would even be willing to accept payment in cash if you could convince me I can leave you at my back. Although, since you've already betrayed me once, you'd probably have to work pretty hard to do it."
"So just like that, without hearing what I have to say, you're just going to kill me and have that be the end of it. I'm afraid my lawyers were right about you, and that pisses me off almost more than you wanting to kill me in my own office." He stood and walked from behind his desk and to my right and began playing with the crystal decanter filling one glass for him-self. He didn't offer and I would not have accepted. At least that much was clear between us.
"See, that's the differences that make this country great. The last former employer of mine that tried to kill me didn't get the chance to talk. You didn't just affront me with your rudeness, you tried to have me killed instead of paying the rest of what you owe me. The way I see it, you owe me for killing two demons instead of the one we contracted for. That means you owe me more than just money, and my Honor won't let me leave that loose end undone. Now you've still got two choices: you can pay me twice my fee for two demons and let me walk out of here without a fight and as long as we don't ever see each other again, everybody's happy; or I could just kill you right now, right the rest of my fee off as a cost for the entertainment it would afford me to put you out of my misery. It's all your choice."
He seemed to contemplate for a minute of absolute silence in the room except for the rhythmic ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner behind me. It groaned out the change of the hour slowly, like it was almost too tired to make it through that one note.
He reached into a drawer in his desk and asked me if I would take a check. I jumped backwards over my chair as I pulled my pistol out of my belt and as I landed I sprung again sideways into a spinning roll. Just in time as the clock that was behind me exploded from the .45 caliber round fired from the colt still pointed at the clock as I fired. The gun slowly dropped from his limp fingers as he collapsed back into his chair. I swung to cover the two bodyguards, but they were just standing there in shock. Just as I suspected, inexperienced muscle. They made no moves for their weapons, so I shot them too.
I checked his office for some papers, but didn't find much. I took anything relating to me and a few things that looked kind of prophesy-ey. Finally behind the painting (of course) I found his wall safe and broke the combo and found more than I could have hoped for. I took only what he owed me and even left him a receipt for it before I closed and locked the safe door and restored the room to order which included taking the bullets and the recoil spring out of his pistol. He started to come around as I was leaving.
"I know you can hear me, even if you won't be able to move for the next fifteen minutes or so. That gives me plenty of time to get away and you plenty of time to think about why I didn't kill you. You need to understand that killing me won't make your life any better and when you can finally move you need to endorse my receipt and make sure you call off any other attacks on me you might have planned. If you ever come near me again, it will be your last." He tried to say something, but it just came out as a kind of groaning moan and a ball of drool rolling down his chin. I walked out knowing that the tranquilizer I hit them with also suppressed short term memory but also had a hypnotic effect. They would remember that I was there, but it would be more like a vague impression with none of the feelings involved and they would do as I told them to.
I walked out of the building lobby with a self content smile on my face and without anyone stopping me or even giving me a second look; just the way I like it. I got into the same cab I told to come back for me and had him drop me off at the bank where I walked straight past the tellers to the back office. I dropped the bag with the money in it on mike's desk. He's the manager of this bank and he owes me a few favors for saving his life a while back. He counted out the money in front of me and wrote me out a deposit slip all without saying a word until I turned to leave. "Thanks." He said. I just nodded smiling at him and then disappeared out the door. Having time to myself, I stopped by a small outdoor restaurant café for a quick bite to eat.
Making it back to my hotel room without being followed and with no problems afforded me the opportunity to do some much needed thinking. The problem I faced now, as usual, was what to do next with my life. I didn't really have anywhere else to go or anything else to do, at least nothing pressing anyway. I did still very much want to go find Buffy either to help her out or to learn from her. Okay, so I was lying to myself again. I wanted to find Buffy to repay my debt to her. She saved my life and therefore it was now at her disposal. If she needed anything, I would be there for her in whatever way I could. Something about her struck me as special and important and definitely worth the wait for me to be worthy of her. Someone truly able to help the Slayer.
Looking at it now I figured the best way for me to learn about Buffy without actually being there myself would have to be through her ex. Angel knew more about her than anyone else I was likely to find, and I might as well make the most of it and help him out here in L.A. while I'm here. Besides, I'm sure there's a thing or two that I could learn from someone as old as he is even if he wasn't a great fighter and champion. I definitely will not be any the worse off for spending some time here. Glancing at my watch I decided it'd probably be okay for to head off to the Hyperion. Before I did, however, I traded the tranquilizer pistol for my real one; just in case.