chapter 8
breaking up
me and goten woke up the next morning to the sun shining bright on our faces, as always chichi had gotten up before us and had opened the curtains so that we would get up at a decent time. i pushed myslef up off the bed, my chibi still trying to fall asleep even though he knew that he wouldnt be able to. i lean over and kiss goten, "good morning chibi," i mumble afterwards, it was still sinking in what chichi had said earlier, 'you guys are gonna be parents,'. i shake my head not wanting to believe it, i was only thirteen dammit i didnt need a little brat bothering me....where have i heard that before? then i remember when i was about five, my dad was having an argument with my mom,
flashback
i walked into the kitchen where my parents had been arguing all day, my dad wanted to give me up but my mom wouldnt hear of it. "its not gonna happen vegeta!!! hes your son too you need to help me take care of him!!!" my mom was yelling at my dad, after this argument would start my dads beatings on me. my dad sees me snooping on them. "dammit trunks get outta here i dont need you, i dont some snot nosed brat bothering the shit outta me," after my dad yelled that he walked over, picked me up, walked me to my room, and beat me. i cried for hours not wanting to believe what my dad had just done. i kept crying out, "why daddy why? im your son! your supposed to love me! im not a punching bag!"
endflashback
no, no way was i gonna be like my dad, i was gonna be a good...well whatever i was gonna be. "hello earth to trunks come in trunks," i hear my chibi saying. i snap back into reality to see his hand waving in my face. "sorry chibi, got stuck in a daydream." i say to him. "ah thats alright," was all he said before pressing his lips to mine. the kiss got really rough and i couldnt help but melt under his touch. i immediatly allowed acces for his tounge to my mouth. we finally pulled apart, completly outta breath. chichi walked into the room, it was time for her to do her daily 'cleaning up of gotens room.' goten whispers to me "come on lets head to that hill we were at about a week ago," i knew what hill he was talking about, the hill where we had first expressed our feelings for each other. "ok," was my only reply.
"this place is alot more beautiful then the last time we were here," i say under my breath as we reach the top of the hill. "yeah, thats cause its special now," he says before kissing me. i grin, that grin that goten loves. "i love you chibi," i say. "i love you too trunks," he says back. we get lost in another make-out session and i know that as long as goten was nearby nothing would ever be the same again. "goten, trunks. you need to get back to the house now!!!!," we heard chichis voice, we both gave her a questioning look. she got up to the top of the hill, totally outta breath. "mom whats wrong?" i hear goten say. "bulma called the doctor to see what was up with trunks since we didnt call and tell her, she found out and shes mad as hell," she says all in one breath. me and goten give each other worried glances. "what are we gonna do? mom already has to take care of dad, now ive caused even more trouble, i should just die," i say under my breath. "NO trunks dont even say that!!!!!!!!!!!!! dont even think it!!!!!!!" goten says, but the more i think about it the better an idea it sounds. i feel arms wrap around me, i look to see goten clinging to me like a lost child to a policeman. "please trunks, you cant, dont say it cause then youll do it," he says quietly. i look over to chichi, she looks as hurt as goten. i know i hurt my chibi, and his mother, but i couldnt help but think about how appealing the thought of death was. i flew, like i always did when i needed to think, i flew home, back to the capsule corporation.
a couple of minutes later, i landed at the front door of my home, the place id missed so much in the time that my father had been hurt. i quickly find my grandpa and ask him what room my dads in in the medical wing, he was reluctant to tell me cause he knew my mom wanted me to wait until he was healed to see him, but i insisted he finally gave in, my father was in room #8442.
"dad?" i ask quietly in case hes asleep. "hmm?" i hear my dads reply. i walk into the room. i lay my head on my dads shoulder, i started to cry. my dad cringes slightly, i know its at the feel of my hot tears against his scabbed shoulder. "sorry daddy-san," i say. my dad looks up to me, now realizing it was me, he knew that it was me after i said 'daddy-san' thats what i called him in between the ages of two and five, before he started hitting me. "t-t-trunks" he stutters. "yeah dad its me," i say quietly. "why are y-y-you here?" he asks. i could tell he was having trouble with his y's and t's so i didnt give him a hard time about it, hitting his head on the hard ground of the gravity room probably had something to do with his improper grammar and speech. "dad, im scared," i say quietly. "how come?" he asked. "too many things to explain but ill make it short, i want to die," i say. "t-t-trunks, that-t-ts not-t-t a good thing," he says. "i know dad, but, my mind is telling me to, but everyone around me is telling me not to," i say once again bursting into tears. "it-t-ts ok son," was my dads reply. my mom had heard me walk in my dads room before and had listened to the entire conversation. "trunks," i hear my mom call to me. "mom, im sorry, im so sorry, i made the biggest mistake of my life, mom im sorry, mom," i say really fast. "its ok trunks," my mom says walking over to hug me. "im sorry about everything mom, about what happened between me and goten, about sneaking in here to see dad, and most of all for wanting to die," i say into her shoulder. "trunks, the first two are forgetton, but i wanna know why you wanna die," she says quietly. " 'cause i cause trouble for everyone, i made you and chichi mad, gotens mad at me, at least i think he is, and, all i wanna do is leave everyone alone." i say. "trunks, honey, gotens not mad at at you, he was just upset, thats all." she says trying to comfort me, knowing that the reality of it was id be lucky if goten looked me in the eye again, hed started to get mad at me after i told him everyone would be better off if i was dead. he didnt let it out 'till i had left, he had called and told my mom to never let me over there again. "mom, im gonna go call goten and see if hell talk to me," i say quietly. "ok son," was all she managed to choke out.
"hello?" chichi had picked up the phone, damn i was hoping goten would so that he wouldnt say something like 'tell him im not here' "hi chichi, can i talk to goten? dont tell him its me or he wont talk!" i say quickly. "sure hold on trunks," chichi says back quietly. 'goten phone,' i hear her call. 'who is it?" i hear him call back. 'i dont know' was all she said. "hello?" i heard gotens voice over the otherline and a feeling of dread crept over me, 'what if hes still mad? what if he'll never talk to me again? what if he hangs up?' those were the questions running through my head as i said, " im so sorry chibi, youd never know how much," once again i burst into tears. goten hears me sobbing on the other end, but puts it in the back of his mind. "why should i forgive you?" he asks. i could tell by his sudden silence that i hit him like a bullet when i said, "you dont have to but i just want you to know how sorry i am and how much i love you chibi." "come over trunks we need to talk," he says. my heart sank, i knew what happened after the phrase 'we need to talk' it was always a break up. my voice broke as i said "sure ill be over soon."
i flew up to gotens window, still not wanting to believe my imininte doom. i tapped on the window, he walked over and let me in. goten walked over to his bed to sit down and motioned for me to follow him. after we both were sitting down on his bed i felt the hot tears welling up in my eyes as he said, "trunks, maybe we made a mistake being together." i looked away, not wanting him to see my tears. "its been a short amount of time, i know, but......i think we should break up," he says. at this point i cried, i didnt care if he saw, i fell down on the floor in a little ball and cried. i was sick of it all, my entire life had been nothing but a crazy ride that God had concocted to be a living Hell. "trunks im really sorry" i heard him say through my loud sobs. "your not sorry," i begin, "if you were sorry you wouldnt have done it in the first place" i finish now heading for the window. "trunks if you think i dont care about you like crazy your wrong!!" he yells out the window. i dont look back, i dont say anything over my shoulder, most people would go back and apologize till their tounges fell off, but not me, all i wanted was to be alone, no mom no dad no chichi no goku and definetly no goten. i flew to the first place i thought of, me and gotens place in the woods. i flew behind the waterfall into the little cave, went to the very back, lowered my ki, and fell down crying again. now i really wanted to die, thats all i wanted, was to die, then a thought came to me, 'did i really want to be as bad as my dad and hurt my family?' i pondered these questions as i heard something come through the waterfall, at first i figured it was just one of the fawns but i knew otherwise when i felt a hand on my face, wiping away the now chilled tears. i look up to see goten. "what do you want?" i ask roughly. i didnt need him here i just wanted to be alone. "im sorry, thats all you need to know," he says bending down to hug me, but i held my ground and stood firm. as soon as his chest hit mine i tensed up and did not hug back. i heard him cry softly, not wanting to believe it yet still feeling bad i pulled my arms across his back, in a hug sort of fashion. "goten," i say quietly. he looks at me in a 'what are you going to say?' sort of way then i say, "i want to know how you found me here, i had lowered my ki so its not possible you found me that way," "well...it was just a gut feeling....i really dont know how id find you here, i just did......but i think it had something to do with us," he says quietly. "but we're not a couple anymore," i say mockingly. "im sorry about that trunks......i was upset.....i didnt mean it.....i love you," he says. i sit there, in complete shock.
I stand up finally. we must have been sitting there for about an hour. i walk out of the cave. i couldnt just sit there anymore and think about what he said. i sat on the edge of the waterbank. goten followed me. "why did you say it in the first place?" i ask once i sense him sit down next to me. "i was scared and mad and all of these other emotions were running through me and all i could think to say was...well you know," he replies. i kiss him, i knew that i was supposed to be mad, but i couldnt help myself, i kissed him, and he kissed back. "i love you trunks," he says. "i love you too chibi," was all i managed to say before he pressed his lips against mine again.