I was fully planning to pick up Buffy from work for some dinner with the girls but she called me before I could leave. She told me she was going out with Dawn for some girl time. I smiled as she explained her plans to go downtown and window shop, ignoring the possibility of Dawn not being able to go in any of the stores there. I told her it was cool and I would just catch her later. I decided to head out for a drink or two at the closest demon bar, wanting to see if there was any trouble on the way. Besides, I'd been dry all week and it was time to fix that. I blinked as I stepped in out of the sunlight and you can imagine my surprise as I noticed a face looking out of the shadows at me. A face I knew...

"Xander?" I sat down across from him and waved at the waitress. She returned my wave with two fingers held up and I turned my attention back to Buffy's friend.

"Yeah, I'm really not in the mood to talk right now." I considered pushing the issue for only a second before discarding it. I knew that sometimes talking doesn't help, it just rubs salt into the wound.

"That's okay. I like the quiet." He looked at me as though he'd seen a ghost for a second before finishing off his drink and ordering a replacement. We sat together in silence and in darkness as the rounds came one after the other. We spoke of nothing for the entire night until right before he left. We finished the dredges of the beer pitcher in front of us and I waved off a refill. He stood, dropping some money on the table and stopped on his way past me to put his hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks." I nodded as he left, speaking over my shoulder as he passed the table behind us.

"Good luck." I didn't see or hear any response from him. In fact, I'm not really sure why I wished him luck instead of safe journey or even good night, but the words came out and the waitress, seeing me alone and bringing me another round, distracted me from those thoughts that spoke of ripples. I ignored her questions and turned her aside with one word answers. I was glad I did about a minute later when I heard her complain to her friend about scarred up rejects who should be thankful for anything offered. I shook my head and chuckled to myself over that thought and the picture in my head of what I could go home to. Speaking of going home, I stood up myself and dropped more money on the table to join Xander's. Waving at the waitress, who gave me a cold smile in return, I made my way out of the bar and into the cool welcoming night. Of course, the fist across my face wasn't as welcoming, but the ensuing fight definitely was.

I hadn't realized how much I'd missed a good fight until that night. Sure the vampires the night before had been fun but they were nothing like this. No fewer than seven demons decided I'd make either an easy target or was worth some revenge. They attacked me with long knives, fists, and feet but I was ready. The first hit caught me off guard and the alcohol had slowed my reflexes enough for me to catch it full in the face and get knocked down, but then it was game on. My fists and feet had minds of their own as they lashed out at will against the many targets of opportunity. I didn't even bother to think about keeping any of them alive, I was reacting on instinct alone and in the end I paid for it.

I stood in the middle of the demons lying on the ground around me and slowly the feelings returned. The pain hit me first, thudding through my veins like fire. I blinked my eyes slowly several times and almost went back inside for another drink, but started on the long and slow journey back to my apartment. I collapsed onto the bed, facedown, without even taking off my boots. My head hurt and the bruises down my back and sides definitely reminded me that I was still alive. If only I could be not-alive enough to sleep; turns out that I was.

I woke up the next morning to the pounding in my head. It wasn't until I put my hand on my face to wipe away the groggy that I realized the pounding had stopped and re-started; the door. I was on my feet and moving before I ran a hand through my hair and was petting down my beard as I opened the door.

"Anya? Oh my God, how are you?" She stood almost nervously outside my door looking inward. I waved a hand, indicating for her to come in and find a seat. "How did you find this place?"

"Willow. I saw her and Tara today at the coffee shop and I asked her if she'd seen you." So Willow had coffee with Tara. Go Willow! I sent my silent cheer and felt her smile in response before pulling my attention back to Anya's face.

"Can I get you anything? Some water maybe?"

"No, I'm fine. I just want to talk. You don't like Xander very much, do you?" Her tone was almost accusing, it was so forward, and I rocked back on my heels as I considered the implications of her question.

"I don't dislike him; he just used to piss me off with his attitude about some stuff. Why?"

"And what kind of stuff do you wish you could have done to him to bring him around?"

"What? Anya, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine, I just want to clarify what you think about Xander, is all. Is that a problem?" Alright, now I had just woken up and was a little distracted by the pain in my back but as my mind control exerted itself and the pain faded to the background I was finally able to focus all my attentions on the emotional and anxious woman in front of me. She was lying.

"Anya, you can't fool me. Now I don't know you that well but this is about more than just Xander, isn't it." She froze as she was about to ask me something else about Xander and seemed to reconsider.

"You know me well enough to know how I felt about being left at the altar, don't you? Could you imagine what I would have wished on him?" I don't know where it came from, I was still a little out of it, but something clicked when she said the word 'wish'.

"You're a demon again." Her eyes got wide and she tried to deny it. I held up a hand at her protests and shook my head. "Why did you do it, Anyanka?" At the sound of her old name she sobered quickly; too sober. She stood, her face morphing into some kind of veiny visage and towered over me.

"You have no idea who you so carelessly name. You don't know the power you dare taunt by speaking that name. I ought to smite you now where you sit." I wisely, I think, kept the amusement from my face as I stood slowly.

"I do know a thing or two about you, Anyanka. I do dare to speak that name as one who has dealt with your kind before. I've read about you, you know. And I must tell you I am impressed with your record. There is one thing I'm a little curious about, Anyanka. Why do you think you can hurt me?" She smiled, and it sent chills down my spine with how cold it was. She reached her hands for me and I acted. I stepped forward, body checking her with my elbow as my right hand grabbed the pendant around her neck. I stood holding it over her as she looked up in shock.

"Don't!"

"I don't plan to. I know how important this is to you and I understand the need for justice demons in the world, even if you're methods aren't quite what I might choose to make mankind better. I guess I'm just more of a 'kill the bad ones' kind of guy instead of trying to make the wisher learn some kind of deeper lesson." I backed up and moved around the back of the couch to let her stand up, her face returning to her normal beauty.

"Then why won't you help me? I'm out on a limb over here, I'm desperate. I'm even asking a man for what vengeance I can enact. Why won't any of you help me?" I walked back over to her and gestured for her to sit back down on the couch.

"I can't help you. I am not in any way a wronged party; I wasn't even at your wedding. All I can do is sympathize and help you work through your pain. Those are two things I've got a lot of experience in. Other than that, all I can suggest is a night of drinking. It won't make your pain go away, but it'll make you feel better about it being there." I took a place at her side and handed back her pendant.

"Thank you, for not destroying this and for the offer, but I don't think I can take you up on that. I'm gonna go now and you can't speak a word of this to anyone else, or I will be back to really give you what you deserve." I walked her to the door and smiled after she left. My eyes finally caught the clock on the VCR and I hurried into the bedroom to verify. It was late afternoon and I had wanted to spend time with Buffy today. I grabbed some clothes and jumped in the shower, reminding myself once again to get the mirror fixed as I gazed at the broken reflection of my beard. I really should cut it off, but no time for that now. Quickly I gathered up the rest of the walk around junk that tells most people that they're alive. I glanced at my dead cell phone before plugging it in and turning it on to find two messages; one from Buffy and one from Wesley. I called Wesley immediately and he answered on the third ring.

"Ahh, Jake; I was hoping you'd get back to me quickly. I know it's been a few weeks since we've spoken last but I've uncovered another piece of this puzzle I think you should be aware of." I waited patiently through his long winded, detailed explanation; hanging on every word as he finally broke it down for me. At the end of it all, the only thing I'd gotten out of it was that the danger was both human and coming soon. I quickly hung up the phone with him and checked for my loaded pistol before rushing out of the apartment. I called Buffy from the car after I plugged it into my mobile charger and she took her time answering.

"Hey, we found a camera in my front yard and it looks like someone's been watching me. We thought it was Spike because of the whole, you know, obsessed thing but it's not really his style and he didn't know what it was. Willow's getting ready to try and hack into its network or something, but I'd kinda like to have your opinion, if you don't mind coming over."

"Already on my way, babe. I'll be there in a few. Love you." There was an almost awkward silence on her end before she told me she'd see me soon and hung up. So I was her boyfriend, and her friends knew about us, but she didn't quite love me yet either. It almost grouped me in the same category as Spike. I shrugged that idea off quickly, reminding myself to find him and hit him for it later. It really was only a few minutes before I arrived and walked in to see Willow at her computer, Buffy seated at the other end of the table from her, and Xander standing in front of the hallway to the kitchen. My arrival caused Buffy to look up with a reassured smile on her face as I crossed the distance between us to kiss her hello. It was still a little new and was novel enough to let me enjoy it all the more, kissing her in front of her friends. I broke apart and crossed to Willow and the collection of wires in front of her.

"What do we have?"

"Seems like your basic model wireless camera with audio. I'm trying to get into the fiber optic network so I can get their signal routed to us through the feedback relay." I nodded understanding and wished her luck. I might understand some of the terms, but in the army I always had specialists to do this kind of thing.

"Okay, if it's not Spike, and I'm not saying I believe him, but if it's not Spike I think we already know who's behind this." Xander spoke with his hands and made perfect sense, considering how drunk he was last night.

"It makes sense." Willows words echoed my thoughts.

"I want to find these guys." Buffy's conviction was perfectly indicated by her clutched hands, definitely some built up tension there. I resisted the urge to pace and instead moved to the back of her chair and put my hands on her shoulders.

"Hey, hey; I think I've got something." Willow kept typing, but her fingers picked out a much faster tempo than they had before. Her eyes concentrated on the screen, moving rapidly back and forth as she read and typed her hacking code. I wished I could help her, but for now my options were limited.

"Talk to me, Will."

"Technology's pretty sophisticated. Lots of booby traps and firewall stuff." I knew what those were.

"But can you get us a location?" Buffy pushed for as much as she could get, and I couldn't blame her.

"Well hey, I'm still me. Just one..." She shook her head just a little and she had a little bit of a worried look on her face. "Whoa."

"What?"

"There are other cameras." Yeah, that definitely warranted a 'whoa' in my book. Willow kept tapping, but slowed her speed and started listing places she was getting feeds from.

"Oh my God, the Double-Meat Palace, the Bronze, my classes on campus, Xander's site"

"What?" Buffy's shocked whispered question spoke worlds of feeling from around the table.

"They've been spying on all these places?"

"I can tell there are more feeds, I'm just having a harder time pinpointing them. Here, let me..." She suited actions for words and dropped her mouth open as she typed around her keyboard. "Here, I think there are a couple more transmitters on the network I just, I've almost got a picture on them." She typed quietly for a few more seconds and didn't raise her eyes when she spoke. "I think I've got the Magic Box." And then she stood up, her hands leaving the keyboard and her eyes wide as she spoke a single word. "Whoa." Xander stood from his seat at Buffy's left and moved toward the screen with Willow trying to stop him. Buffy stood next and I followed. Her eyes went from the screen to Xander's face and the shock registering there. I finally glanced down myself and could fully understand the feeling. Spike and Anya together on the table in the Magic Box working their way toward what some would call the horizontal mambo.

"Oh God." I could feel the pain in his voice and clamped down my mind from his harsh broadcasting feelings. The door opened and Dawn came through it, none of us looking up at her.

"Hey guys, what's up?" She moved around to Willow's side and looked down at the screen. At her sharp intake of breath Willow spun around and put her hand over Dawn's eyes, turning her face aside. Xander was mumbling incoherently, but my eyes were on Buffy and her quiet reaction to her own shock. She visibly swallowed and ducked her head in the classic sign of someone knuckling down to an unwanted task. I saw Willow's gaze go from Xander to Buffy and then down at the screen again before back up at Buffy's face before resting on mine for a second. I tried to pull back my thoughts, but it was too late.

"Buffy?" Prompted by my concern, Willow hid her pre-knowledge behind faked surprise and definite concern. Buffy couldn't meet her friend's gaze and lightly shrugged off the hand on my shoulder as she turned away from the group.

"That's enough." She walked now through the kitchen and toward the back yard. Xander broke for the living room and Dawn, after looking from my face gazing after Buffy and then following it to her exit point, followed her. I stood for a second, feeling betrayal through my link with Buffy, and more than a little confusion along the same. I stood looking around as everyone deserted us and Willow babbled about uncertainty of the feed. Willow looked up from the computer and at the retreating sounds of Xander before walking after him. She came back a second later, closing the front door and looking up at me.

"He's gone. He took an axe with him." I didn't think; I just acted. My own feelings were a jumble as I moved past Willow through the front door to my car. I headed out in pursuit of the sharp moving pain that indicated Xander's location. I found him easily enough and pulled up beside him, waving for him to get in.

"I'm not going back."

"I don't want you to. I'm going there and I thought you might want to tag along." After looking at me dumbly for a second, he clambered in and I tore out. We arrived at the Magic Box minutes later and I put my hand on his arm before he could get back out.

"What are you gonna do?"

"I'm not sure, but it's gonna hurt." I acknowledged that he didn't say who it was going to hurt, but his axe would answer that in a minute. As Xander approached the front door, it opened and Spike came out. I was sorry I'd hung back as Xander buried his axe in the door and couldn't tug it out. I did enjoy Spike's surprised face for a second before Xander grabbed him and started hitting him. He knocked him down, picked him back up and threw him against a pillar, punching him again. I looked up as Buffy rounded the corner at the end of the street and decided I'd better get my kicks in while I could. I moved forward as Xander pulled out a stake. Three things happened at once: I reached Spike and knocked him a good one with the momentum of my run, knocking him back against the pillar with a groan. The other two didn't involve me but Anya, coming out of the Magic Box, grabbed Xander and Buffy, moving faster than I could, pushed him into her. I looked up at Buffy's shocked face as she looked from me to Spike and then to Anya as she tried to talk to Xander.

"Don't even try to deny it. 'Cause I saw it all; the whole beautiful show." My attention was on Buffy the entire time and the growing anger I felt from her. My hands clenched and unclenched repeatedly as I wished I could beat it out of Spike, but part of me knew he wasn't really the problem here.

"Didn't take long, did it?" Spike looked up at her and I menaced him with my fist as he flinched away from me.

"Oh okay, I get it. You had to do it, because he was there; like Mount Everest. Like I used to be." I faded out their yell fest and focused back in on Buffy. She watched Xander with wary eyes and I realized she was worried about him staking Spike. I felt anger spring up inside me and planted a kick on Spike's forehead. Buffy looked up at me with a glare that told me she wanted me to stop. I resisted the urge to hit him just for the sake of rebelling against Buffy's wishes in this. I looked back at Xander and felt her gaze on me for a few seconds before she did likewise.

"I'm not joking now. You let that evil, soulless thing touch you. You wanted me to feel something? Congratulations, it worked; I look at you... and I feel sick, 'cause you had sex with that."

"It was good enough for Buffy." Spike had straightened against the pillar and looked at her as he spoke. My eyes flew to her downcast face as Xander prematurely exploded.

"Shut up and leave her out of..." He stopped as he saw her face and took a second for it to register. She slowly looked up to meet his gaze and it was Anya I think who realized it first.

"Buffy."

"Xander."

"I don't want to know this." He dropped the stake with a wooden clatter. "I don't want to know any of this." He left, walking quickly down the street and away from this problem with both girls following his exit with their eyes for a second before Buffy turned back to face down Spike with a glare and with a quick glance at my still furious face, walked away herself. I stood there shaking with both hands clenched, but reigned my mind in from doing anything stupid. My gaze followed her lonely walk after Xander.

"Bloody Xander, buggered up everything. You know, I wish..."

"Don't." Anya cut him off from something that could have ended badly. I decided to end it badly anyway. Anya turned and walked back toward the Magic Box and I felt Spike start to walk away behind me as I kept my gaze on Buffy's retreating figure. When she was out of earshot I turned on my heel and took off after the man really responsible for all of this.

"Spike!" He stopped but didn't turn around.

"What, you want to beat the crap out of me now too? Don't you realize it isn't going to change anything?" He was wrong. As my knuckles found the side of his head I felt a lot better and that was a change I could deal with.

"Why do you always insist on hurting people Spike? That's right, you're a vampire; it's what you do." I put my boot to him where he held himself up on his hands and knees. He collapsed onto his side and tried to roll over onto his feet but my other boot kept him rolling. "What I still don't get is, no matter how many times I tell you to stay out of my way or how many times you hurt Buffy, you still claim to love her. Why is that, Spike?" My left hand found his nose and he fell back from where he was trying to sit up. "I know you can never change. I know that you will always be one of two things... a vampire, or dead. Care to take a bet on which one I want you to be?" My boots were getting quite the workout tonight, and I loved every minute of it. I stopped and looked down at my victim one last time before taking a step back and feeling for the stake that wasn't in my jacket. "Looks like you've got a few more minutes left to live after all. Try to enjoy them." I turned, heading back for the stake Xander'd dropped and I can only guess he wasn't as hurt as he pretended to be; when I turned around he was gone. I took in a breath and sighed it back out slowly, centering myself and tightening my control. I made my way slowly to my car and sat down in the driver's seat, wondering where I was going to go now.

I started the car and looked down at my hand on the shifter as I cursed. I turned the car off and opened the trunk to use the first aid kit and stop the bleeding from my knuckles. This was a good pain, it reminded me of the pain I'd inflicted on someone who deserved it. I started the car again and made my way back to Buffy's house. Willow was there, but didn't ask what'd happened; I guess I'd been broadcasting longer than I thought I had. I did make my way upstairs to Dawn's room and tapped on the door, waiting for her to invite me in before opening the door.

"Hey, I guess you saw more of that than you probably should have. What's up?" She sat up on the edge of her bed and I took a place beside her, but twisted so I could face her as we talked.

"Buffy told me about Spike." I mentally winced at that name, but waited for her to continue. "She also told me it was over. I asked about how long ago and then about if you knew. She told me about what happened when you disappeared for those few weeks. I'm sorry I didn't know back then, but I just figured you had fooled around with my sister and were ditching her. Then when you came back it was like even better because you immediately took care of her again like nothing had happened."

"I had help."

"Yeah, well, I asked about what had happened between you guys since and she told me how lucky she was she had you and that you loved her. Is that true?"

"I actually think I'm the lucky one, but yes I definitely love her."

"So why did she react like that tonight then if she still has you and your love?"

"Babe, I can only speculate. I don't know if she still has feelings for... him, and I don't really want to think about that anyway. I do know that she stopped Xander from staking him tonight, and she stopped me from beating him up before she went for a walk. I'd be out looking for her right now, but I think she needs time to figure it out for herself."

"I think I can understand that. So, you're still sticking around for a bit, right?"

"Well, right now I think I'm going to leave a message for her and go after Xander. He's the one who might really do something stupid tonight, and I don't want that to happen if I can help it."

"Yeah, you should go. I'll be alright here with Willow and I'll call you if Buffy comes back." I gave her a quick hug and went across the hall to let Willow know where I was going and the details of what happened. Her eyes widened when I told her I went back for the stake, but she nodded at my suggestion that I go looking for Xander and indicated her homework helplessly, but asked me to call her if I found him. I made my way slowly downstairs and opened the front door as Tara had her hand raised to knock.

"Hey."

"Hey, is Willow around?"

"Yeah, she's up in her room. I'm on my way out, though, but you can go on up." We traded places and I looked at her back across the threshold. "Good luck." She nodded, a shy, nervous, half smile on her face before she turned and headed up the stairs and I closed the door behind me. I sat for a second in my car and opened myself to the psychic pain screaming away at me and picked the most likely source before opening my eyes and starting the car. The haunt in question was seedy of the disreputable sort and Xander sat at one end of the bar. He was too focused on his thoughts to notice the four or so guys eyeing him from a nearby table, but I did and pulled up my shirt to flash my gun at them on my way to his side. I clapped him on the back and tapped the bar with my other hand to order a drink as I took the stool next to his.

"How could you deal?" I was kind of surprised he'd even ask me, but tried to puzzle out some answer he could accept. The bartender brought me a shot of whiskey and I told him to keep them coming before turning back to Xander.

"This doesn't hurt." I took the shot and put the empty glass back on the table. My levity didn't even warrant a smile and I tried to explain myself again. "I just... dealt. I've had my share of learning how to cope with things I didn't think I could. Maybe I'm just mellowing in my old age. One of my old friends who knew me from before, the first question he asked me after he found out about it, he wanted to know if either one of them was dead. I don't know if there's anything I can tell you that will help." We were silent as the bartender delivered our next round and I found I had one more thing to say. "I love her, Xander. Believe me when I say that doesn't come lightly. I love her and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her. I will be there for her as long as I can be, and I guess that's just all there is to it. I know she'll make mistakes and I'm for damn sure that I'll make some too, probably more. But whatever happens, it doesn't change who she is; why I love her." He nodded, keeping his head down. I took this shot of whiskey a little slower and led the night off into our long bout of silence. It finally ended with me drag walking him back to his apartment complex, just short of a mile away. I would have driven but I was way too drunk to do so safely and didn't want to risk it. After I let us in with his key, I made sure he was fully okay before I made my way back out his front door and slowly back to my car.

I woke up to the sun on my face and a very nice headache starting to set in. I shook it off as best I could with a bottle of water from the trunk and some aspirin from the first aid kit before getting back in the car and making my way to the apartment. I contemplated my bed for a long moment before forcing myself into the shower to clean myself off. The smell of smoke and cheap whiskey gone from my skin and hair made me feel a lot better. I'd plugged my phone in before the shower and now looked at the message icon that hadn't been there before. It was Dawn telling me that Buffy'd just gotten home but had probably come in before to change clothes and go back out. She'd cleaned out the geek's lair and Willow and Tara, who were back together, were going through it. I told her to let them know Xander had gotten home safely but to give him some time to sleep off his hangover. I asked her to call me if anything came up and then finally crawled into my cool inviting bed and the warm comforting sleep.