Counseling Anime Style
Authoress: Luvsdogz, aided by Chronogirl
AN: This was my first fanfiction, and, as expected, it had many errors. I will eventually get around to fixing it as best I can, but for now it should suffice.
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin… too bad.
"Mr. Himura, the psychiatrist will see you now."
"I am thanking you, that I am."
"I'm sure you are Mr. Himura." The desk clerk responded awkwardly.
Kenshin slowly walked towards the quiet room he was growing quite accustomed to. Of course, that hadn't meant he enjoyed his stay there, oh no. Kaoru had forced him to go, ranting about how he had speech issues, or some type of schizophrenia. Or both. So, here he was.
"Hello Himura-san, I see you have returned. Please, I ask of you that you don't stomp out of here in frustration like the last time," said a gentle looking woman sitting over in a cushioned chair with a notepad in hand. She motioned to a nearby chair.
"I'll try not to, that I will," he said with a smile before sitting. Reality hit and he smacked his forehead with the back of his palm.
"Himura-san, no need to hit yourself. Injuries wont help you change your ways."
"Okay, I'll behave, that I will." A pause. Realization can sometimes be hard on the mind. Kenshin growled and his eyes flashed a dangerous gold. Two people, once standing on either side of the entrance, tackled him and pinned him to the ground.
"Now, now Himura-san, what have I been telling you these past few weeks?" The woman scolded, before snapping once. A guard stood, taking Kenshin's sakabato. With another snap, the other guard allowed Kenshin to rise, but held him back as the first guard gave the weapon to the counselor. Once it was safe in her hands, Kenshin was released and the guards went back to their places beside the door.
"Hey that's mine, that it is. I'd like that back, that I would," the rurouni said meekly, pointing to the sakabato, only after sparing a nervous glance to the guards to make sure he wasn't going face first into the ground again.
"What have I said about caring weapons around? They encourage bad behavior."
"B-But its mine," he whined.
The woman smiled, "Look, your improving, you didn't say 'that it is' this time."
Kenshin grinned proudly. "You're right, that you are. I feel like a changed man, that I do. I can overcome any obstacle, that I can."
"Yes, yes. That's all well and fine Himura-san. It seems you were able to contain yourself to staying the whole period this time, so," she started, drawling on the last word as she searched for something, which he held out for Kenshin to take. "here is your bill for this week and the thirteen before this." Kenshin's face drooped. "I suppose you can't afford it on your own, so have fun begging Kaoru for the money to pay for it." Kenshin's getting mad, that he is (wink, wink). "And as for now, I shall keep your sword so that it can't be used for mass destruction or something of the sort." Kenshin was undeniably furious by then, and her annoyingly sweet smile wasn't helping. "Have a nice day, Himura-san." Once again, Kenshin's eyes went gold.
"I'm going to kill you that I will! This isn't the last time you'll hear from me, that it isn't! You're a--" Kenshin was pushed out the door by the guards behind it, simply so the authoress a.) could keep the story at a PG rating; and b.) wouldn't have to bother with writing a fight scene.
"I'm ready for my next patient."
" Ms. Kaoru, you're up next," called the clerk.
"YOU WANT ME TO PAY HOW MUCH!?!" Yelled Kaoru, and a strangely high pitched scream was heard, and everyone turned to stare as Kenshin was smashed over the head with Kaoru's bokken. :1:
"Kaoru," the clerk repeated.
"Yeah, I heard ya," Kaoru said, turning and tossing her bokken (now broken due to the force of impact), over her shoulder carelessly. Someone fell to the ground, unconscious, but no one cared to see who it was. She stormed over to the clerks desk. "So, what? Are you gonna force me to go in there or something?!" she exploded (not literally, of course o.o''').
"Just come in Kaoru." The psychiatrist gestured for Kaoru to enter.
"Don't boss me around you little--" The security guards tackled her and covered her mouth so that what she was going to say was muffled. The authoress still wishes to keep this rated PG. ::nod, nod::
"Thank you security." The psychiatrist said politely.
"Yeah! Thanks you insubordinate--" Kaoru was tackled again.
One of the security guards looked up at their boss. "All in a days work maim."
"Kaoru, I'll make them let go of you if you promise not to do anything rash. "
"Whatever, you stupid hippie." The psychiatrist snapped twice and Ms. Kaoru was released from the security guards hold.
Rudi scowled briefly, "Please, call me Rudi. After all, it is my name."
"Ha, I now know what your name is! " Kaoru exclaimed, before breaking out into fits of evil laughter. Rudi snapped and the guards took a straight jacket and shoved Ms. Kaoru into a closet.
Rudi called out, "I believe the Kenshin Fan Club is up next."
"K-F-C, you're next." The clerk repeated. The K-F-C walked in one at a time the last of them went over to the corner of the room and curled into a ball on the floor.
The leader of K-F-C casually walked over to Rudi and said," We are all here on behalf of one of our members, she seems as if she's not in a right state of mind." the leader pointed to the girl hunched over in the corner," Her names Cg."
Rudi noticed that the girl was behaving slightly different than the rest of the group. The room was silent, but there was one voice -cracked, whispering... completely and utterly psychotic (reminding some of Gollum)- that broke the silence. "Battousai's gonna get me, Battousai's gonna get me, I tell you, he's coming to get me man, he's coming to get me!"
Rudi spoke, "I see nothing wrong with this girl, but you, leader, see her as being insane." A pause." Guards, take away." The guards put a straight jacket on the leader and opened the closet door.
From inside the dark void Kaoru's voice called out, "Hi, what's your name? Tell me, tell me, Tell me, Tell Me, TELL ME!!!!!" The guards tossed the leader of K-F-C inside and slammed the door shut.
Not seeing any reason to be here any longer, all the girls exccept for Cg left. Cg stood up and walked over to Rudi. Grinning, she said: "So Rudi, did you like my performance?" Rudi nodded." Well, here's the money I promised I'd give you if you succeeded in removing the leader." Cg handed three hundred dollars to Rudi. "They're sure to make me... leader.... now..." She trailed off as she noticed Kenshin's sakabato, tossed carelessly to the side. " Is.. It that what I think it is? Kenshin's sakabato…" she whispered in awe. "I must have it! How much would you like, Rudi?! Moneys not a matter!"
"Take it," Rudi said casually. "Next week, come in about 8:00, you can get Kenshin himself, it would get him off my back." Cg fainted; Rudi snapped her fingers and the guards took Cg, along with her now prized possession, out to the waiting room.
"Megumi, you're up." The clerk said.
"Do you have a dagger I can… borrow?"
"Go into the room Megumi."
"Darn." She walked in trying to slit her neck with a paper from a magazine the whole way.
"Paper-cuts won't kill you Megumi."
"Oh they won't….?" She sulked, but quickly recovered and shrugged to herself. "At least I tried." She paused to look at Rudi hopefully. "You don't happen to have any sharp objects, poisons, or deadly weapons around, do you?"
"Actually, I just gave Kenshin's sword away to a person in the Kenshin Fan Club."
"NOOOOOOOOO…" she kept on screaming without taking a breath, probably trying to suffocate herself. Rudi smacked Megumi, causing her to take a quick breath. "Rudi, I was about to die! Why is it so wrong to be suicidal in these modern times?" Rudi snapped again and Megumi joined the other two in the closet.
"Sanosuke?" the clerk called, knowing Rudi was going to ask for her next client soon. There was no response. Apparently he had to be rushed out to the hospital after some freak accident with Kaoru's bokken 'magically falling from the sky'.
:1: - Kaoru's the one with the bokken, ne? I get confused with that and the shinai (which I believe is Yahiko's weapon).
This is the rewrite of the original version, I hope its better.