Wow so many reviews! Thank you guys so much! I love you guys!

ReiKai-chan: You should be my assistant I swear! LOL. Yeah I was thinking if there was going to be a lemon. As for the Yaoi comment yes you are right! Thank you I'll change that!

And of course a big thank you to all my reviewers!!

Disclaimer: I don't own beyblade but you knew that already right?

Ok this is a Shounen-ai! (thanks reikai-chan) so if you have a problem...well you wouldn't be here now would you?

All right enough stalling let's get on with the fic!!

Tears of a Tortured Soul

Chapter 4

Ray walked in the hotel room, Kai was right behind him.

'I was so close. He almost opened up to me...now he's probably going to withdraw from me again...' he sighed and herd the door behind him close. He turned and saw Kai leaning up against it.

'What am I gonna do? There's no way he's gonna talk now. But that doesn't mean I'm giving up. I love Kai and I'll do everything I can to help him. He deserves someone to help him...and I want to be that someone.'

He heard Kai sigh and saw the blue-haired boy walk past him. He turned swiftly and caught his shoulder.

"Wait Kai. Please...talk to me. I want to hear what you have to say." Kai shook Ray's hand off his shoulder.

"It's not important." He started to walk away when he felt Ray's arms encircle his waist and felt Ray press his head against his back. His eyes widened and he shivered at the touch.

"It's important to me. Please Kai. I want to help you."

'I'll do whatever it takes...'

He felt Kai shake under his touch and it only made him tighten his grip.

"I...I don't....deserve this..." he sighed. Ray's eyes widened but he did not release Kai from his tight embrace.

"What do you mean? You don't deserve what Kai?" Ray's voice was gentle and it only made Kai want to talk even more.

"Everything...you've all been so forgiving to me...and I deserve none of it." His voice was weak. Ray let go of Kai's waist and went to stand in front of him. He looked into Kai's crimson eyes; the fire in them was gone. He had almost the same expression as he did out in the rain.

"Why do you think you don't deserve this? Kai we forgive you because you're our friend. We care about you."

"Not too long ago I wouldn't have believed you but now..." Ray's eyes held hope as be silently begged Kai to continue. Kai looked hesitant but nevertheless...

"I believe you." Ray smiled in relief.

"I'm glad you finally realize that we're you're friends. All we want to do is help you Kai. Now will you tell me why you were out in the rain like that?" he pleaded. All of Kai's hesitation and doubts disappeared when he looked down into Ray's golden eyes. His eyes didn't hold the hatred and disgust he saw when he looked into his grandfathers eyes...instead they held compassion and love. A feeling Kai wasn't used to but was ready to experience and before Kai knew it all his feelings came out.

"I wanted to get away. I didn't think I was worthy of being you're captain. Even after you saved me from the lake I didn't think I deserved to be with you guys. It was the first time anyone's ever tried to help me. I didn't know what to do so I just ran away. I didn't want to face what would happen if I stayed. If they came after me..." his voice drifted off.

"If who came after you Kai?"

Kai sighed and looked hesitant. Ray put his hand on Kai's shoulder and it was then that he felt he could truly open up to the one he loved.

'Time to stop hiding...I can trust Ray. I want him to know because I can't keep it in anymore.'

"My grandfather..." Ray looked slightly confused.

"What does you're grandfather have to do with any of this?"

"He's the man behind Biovolt. Boris isn't the leader of Biovolt, my grandfather is."

Ray's eyes widened. "You mean you're grandfather is Voltaire?" Kai nodded.

"That's right." He said.

"Kai...I never knew..." Ray was in shock, he dropped his hand from Kai's shoulder. He just couldn't believe that Kai's grandfather was the leader of the gang that was trying to destroy their team. The raven-haired boy looked into Kai's eyes and he saw a bit of uneasiness in them. As if there was something more that the captain was keeping inside.

"Kai...is there something more to this than just you're grandfather?"

Kai nodded. "He raised me in the abbey where the Demolition Boys train. But it's no ordinary training..." he cut himself off. Kai's breathing was shaky and it was like he was scared of what he was going to say next.

"They do seem rough...I mean that battle with that Alexander dude...it's like they show them no mercy." Ray said thinking about their past experiences with Demolition Boys and their training center.

"They don't. None at all. They train them to be the perfect warriors; they show them no mercy whatsoever. They treat them like tools and not human beings." Kai's voice wavered as he felt himself become completely open to Ray.

"Did they treat you that way?" Kai felt himself shatter as the memories of his childhood came rushing back. He felt tears sting his eyes but he held them back. He nodded.

"Yes..." Ray gave a slight gasp as he tried to remain strong in front of Kai.

"What...did they do to you?" A moment of silence passed and finally Kai spoke up.

"My grandfather...he...he'd hit me. He'd abuse me and it was all to make me become the perfect warrior. Everyday it was the same, hit beat me until I couldn't move and it hurt so much but every time I showed any sign of weakness he'd just do it all over again. He never treated me like a grandson...to him I was his tool, his puppet. He made me feel like I wasn't worth anything. Like the only reason I existed was to capture bit beasts and help him with his plan for world domination." Kai's body began to shake as it all caught up with him. Ray could see Kai's wall breaking. Every barrier that Kai ever put up around him self shattered before the neko-jin's eyes. Except for one.

"Kai...c'mere." He said opening his arms to the older boy. Kai looked shocked at first but then let himself fall into Ray's arms. He rested his head on the Chinese boy's shoulder. He could feel himself shaking. Kai felt his knees go weak and found he could no longer hold himself up anymore. He sank to the ground surprising Ray at first but the neko-jin smiled and bent down to the floor not once loosening his embrace.

"I was always jealous of you...because you had something I never did."

"What was that Kai?" Ray asked his voice soft.

"Love. You have love in you heart. You know what it's like to feel love and compassion for others and you know what it's like for it all to be returned. I never felt any of that. All I ever wanted was to experience what it was to be like to love and to be loved. I still want that." Tears filled Kai's vision but he still wouldn't let them fall. Ray looked down and saw how glossy his eyes were.

"Go ahead and cry...I think after all this time you should."

"It's ok...I don't need to."

"When was the last time you cried Kai?" He was silent for a minute but then he responded.

"I can't remember. I was never allowed to." Ray frowned.

'What kind of bastard doesn't allow someone to cry?'

"Please Kai...let it out. I won' t be ashamed or think anything less of you. No one will. It's just me. I'm here for you." He ran his fingers through Kai's hair to try and loosen him up a bit. It worked when he felt wetness on his shoulder. Kai began to shake even more as his sobs over took him. All the pain Kai experienced throughout his life all the suffering his soul had to go through was now released. Ray continued to stroke Kai's hair and rub his back in an attempt to comfort the sobbing boy.

"I..It's not...fair" he herd Kai choke between sobs. "All I wanted...was a normal life..." Ray just held him even tighter. Kai's soul was broken and it was now up to Ray to pick up the pieces.

"Shhh...it's ok...you can still have a normal life Kai...I'll help you do that. We all will."

'Should I tell him? Maybe I should...he needs to know that he's loved but what if he doesn't love me back? What if he thinks it's weird to be loved by another guy? Still...I think he deserves to know...after all he's been through he needs someone to love him.'

After a while Kai's sobs slowed down but he still lay in Ray's arms.

'I wish this moment would never end...god I love him so much. I wish I could tell you how much Ray.'

"Kai...there's something you should know..."

"What is that Ray?" Ray sighed.

'Well...here goes nothing.'

"Kai...there's something I want to tell you. Something I think you need to hear and it's something I can't keep inside anymore. Kai...I love you. I have for along time but I never thought you would open up to me enough. After hearing everything that you just told me...I think it's time you knew what I truly feel for you."

'I can't believe I just said that...but it's all true...please don't reject me Kai....'

'He loves me? Ray loves me? Even after everything I've said and done he...loves me.'

Ray felt Kai's grip on him tighten.

"Ray I...love you too." Ray's eyes widened.

"You do?" He felt Kai nod.

"Yes...you're the only person I felt even tried to understand me. The only one who made me feel like my life was worth anything. I've never felt anything like it before but I know...I love you Ray. More than anything." Ray smiled as he too tightened his grip on Kai.

"You don't know how much it means to hear you say that" he said. Kai pulled himself away from Ray and looked into his eyes. It was all there. The love he'd craved for all his life. Ray took Kai's shoulders and pulled him closer. The next thing Kai knew were Ray's lips on his. His eyes widened in surprise but then he relaxed and returned the kiss with equal passion. Ray felt Kai's mouth open slightly allowing his tongue to explore his mouth. After a while air became an issue and they broke apart both panting slightly. For a few minutes they just started into each other's eyes and enjoying each other's company.

'So...this is what it's like to be loved.' Kai thought to himself.

'He's so beautiful...' Ray thought. Then Kai broke out in a smile and it wasn't the fake smiles or smirks Ray was used to. It was a genuine smile that came from Kai's heart. Ray felt himself smile and he sighed a sigh of happiness.

"What?" Kai asked confused. "Do I have something on my face?" Ray laughed.

"No silly...I've just...never seen you smile like that before." Kai's smile widened as he leaned into Ray's embrace again.

"Thank you Ray." The raven-haired boy raised an eyebrow.

"For what?" he asked.

"For giving me something no one else in the world could. For loving me." Ray could only smile more and he put his arms around Kai and leaned up against the bed.

"I will always love you. Know that." He said resting his head atop Kai's.

"So will I Ray....so will I."

'I can finally live my life. I can finally love someone and be loved back. Now I realize I'm not worthless like my grandfather says I am. Now I just have to beat him. I have to get out of my grandfathers control and show him that he's can't rule me anymore. Now that I have Ray...I can do anything and that includes bringing my grandfather down. And I know now that not only do I have Ray but I have the rest of the team too...and that's all I ever needed. The love and acceptance...of my friends.'

A.N: I can't feel my fingers...lol oh well. Should I continue? Let me know! Please review with any ideas, comments or whatever. Thank you!