You want to give ecstasy delivered with certainty.
But you're afraid that the pleasure won't be needed.
In a way, we're the same;
two people looking out to sea
For a wave that would carry all our fantasies.
I felt surprisingly light and happy when I woke up the next morning. Like my heart beat twice as fast.
Someone sure got a nice night. What time did you get back? Tobias inquired. I stopped my little four-footed happy dance and beamed at him.
Late. I replied.
Are we going to tell Jake about the guy you found?
Michael.
What?
He is named Michael.
How do you know that?
He told me.
He told his name to the big beast with an extra set of eyes and feet, blue fur, funny horns and no mouth? Oh. Open-minded fella, I presume.
I was in my human form. Marco had...lend me some clothes.
The mighty bird sat down on a branch close to me.
Enough chit-chat. We need to help the guy. First question, do we tell Jake?
That took my conscious mind back to Earth.
Prince Jake.
Yeah. Jake. Our leader.
I found myself wanting to resent to the idea. these were not his affairs to meddle in! I didn't want him near Michael! Michael was...different.
I'll take that as a no. Second question. How do we help?
I started thinking.
Figure out his routine...Get into his house and... I started, unsure at how to go on.
Rather odd ideas started to come up in my mind.
Clean the place up? Get him some supplies? Food perhaps?
I nodded towards the hawk in front of me.
Yes.
I'll see what I can do. I'll check out his house and where he works and stuff.
Thank you.
I watched my friend fly off and started thinking the matter over.
Why didn't I want Prince Jake to help us?
How could I be sure Michael wasn't a Controller, an enemy?
Where would any human ever be able to accept an Andalite as more then just an ally?
I looked at my reflection in a stream not far from Tobias' tree and looked at my reflection.
Perhaps it was because of his unusual hair color --dyed or not-- that the boy fascinated me so.
Perhaps it was because of that that I hoped he'd share this fascination towards me.
Perhaps these humans had finally drove me insane enough to start hallucinating.
Perhaps I needed some TV.
Yes, television would help, it always did. But I had rarely felt any emotions so strong and still so unclear.
I shook my head, carefully running a hand over my tail.
My hands weren't as strong as those of these humans and they didn't have a tail. My hands --my real hands-- wouldn't have been able to catch Michael if he fell. My tail might have killed him.
I didn't have a mouth, unless I morphed.
I noticed that, when I was thinking or talking about Michael, words seemed to matter very little. I didn't drag the sounds out. The subject was more important, not the grip of my mouth around the words.
Perhaps I should think like that more often, my fascination --some called it an obsession-- with sound seemed to irritate or at least make the animorphs quite uncomfortable.
I remembered Estrid.
She had made me fell slightly like this, a far weaker emotion.
She did have a tail and hands, like me, and...
When I thought about it, there were more females like her in the army. There was only one Michael, who was lost and happy and sad and hurt at the same time. Only one Michael that made me want to morph into small, weak, newborn animals and follow him home and to his job...so peculiar.
The war we had fought and won had been over for a few years now, yet we still were active, always looking if there were any new threats. No one had came to collect me, so I had stayed. I didn't mind. My friends were there for me, I had little obligations... What could possibly have gone wrong?
The answer was almost ridiculously simple.
Michael.
That had gone wrong.
That had thrown over all that I had believed in.
I had believed I would do anything for Prince Jake.
Now, I knew that was untrue.
I'd die for Prince Jake, throw my very own mother in an active volcano and smile if he wanted me to...But I couldn't mention Michael.
Prince Jake would call him a 'freak' and that would anger me.
I didn't know what would happen if that happened.
Tobias spent the rest of the next two weeks like that, flying off early in the morning and coming back in the evening.
At night, towards the end of Tobias' series of explorations, I dreamed of leaving the forest, going into the town, no one there, going to that house, the door wide open.
Every time, I heard Tobias voice, just before I saw.
A ghost of a whisper that echoed in my head, over and over.
...You know what happens when we don't eat, right?
And then I saw a lifeless body, all horrors of the war coming back to my mind and being inflicted on that limp form before all harm disappeared and left Michael dead, pale and thin.
I ran in, hooves echoing trough the house, and I touched him, tried to hold him, press him close to me...bring him back, back, back...And it doesn't work. He's dead. Most of the time, I awoke at that point, a few hours before I saw a red-tailed hawk fly off into the direction of that house. I waited for another hour or so, and when Tobias didn't return by then, I knew my dreams had been just that, dreams.
One day, Tobias turned to me before leaving.
Morph into a bird. I spend the last few days getting some stuff to start. It was your idea, so you'd better help.
I morphed eagerly, wanting to leave the forest for a while.
Even better, wanting to explore Michael's house.
Getting in was easy. We both morphed into an insect and crept in trough a small gap under the door.
We spend an entire day morphing back and forth as we cleaned the entire house. Hard work, but I relished it. When the lock clicked, at about six-thirty, Tobias quickly morphed from human to bird to insect and went out as fast as he could. I first morphed back to my true form before morphing into the small cat Michael had found one day.
His footsteps were hurried as he stormed into the kitchen.
"What the hell happened here?!" he demanded from the thin air, looking around as if in fear.
"Prow?" I forced out of the kitten's mouth.
Michael's eyes fell on me, he blinked a few times and then shook his head.
"Get yourself together, Michael. Kittens don't clean up houses. Just calm down and check if there's anything gone...safe for dirt."
He ran up and down the house, checking all chambers with me following. His exploration took up little time, no more then a quarter of an hour. I marveled at the efficiency.
He sank down into the sofa and hugged himself again when he ended back up in the living room.
"What the fuck is going on here? First those damn diseases of mom and dad turn their only child in a freak with green hair and purple eyes--"
So that was natural! A mere disease that had altered the structure of the mother's egg cells and/or the sperm cells of the father.
"--Then mom and dad die because no one knows what they have and I get to live on my own and can't go to school--"
I was shocked to hear this.
Prince Jake had made it clear to me that children had to go to school, that it was essential in their education. Only dire circumstances in life could force a child to work instead of learning.
"--And then I find out that someone breaks into my house, lets in a cat and scrubs the place from top to bottom! Who is THAT insane?"
His fists were clenched, he was completely tensed.
I licked his knuckled carefully, quickly.
They tasted salty and soapy.
Michael looked down at me.
"I wanna check, but I don't think I've got something for you to eat."
Indeed, the house indeed was devoid of any nutrition. Tobias had said we'd take care of that the next day.
I saw him fly outside, waiting for me.
"You don't happen to know who did this, do you, kitty?"
I faked a yawn and jumped off the table I had been deposited on, padding towards the door and waiting patiently for Michael to open it for me.
He chuckled.
"Getting bored of me already, kitten? Fine, I'll let you out."
With that, he let me out and closed the door behind me.
I followed Tobias back to our home.
But you're afraid that the pleasure won't be needed.
In a way, we're the same;
two people looking out to sea
For a wave that would carry all our fantasies.
I felt surprisingly light and happy when I woke up the next morning. Like my heart beat twice as fast.
Someone sure got a nice night. What time did you get back? Tobias inquired. I stopped my little four-footed happy dance and beamed at him.
Late. I replied.
Are we going to tell Jake about the guy you found?
Michael.
What?
He is named Michael.
How do you know that?
He told me.
He told his name to the big beast with an extra set of eyes and feet, blue fur, funny horns and no mouth? Oh. Open-minded fella, I presume.
I was in my human form. Marco had...lend me some clothes.
The mighty bird sat down on a branch close to me.
Enough chit-chat. We need to help the guy. First question, do we tell Jake?
That took my conscious mind back to Earth.
Prince Jake.
Yeah. Jake. Our leader.
I found myself wanting to resent to the idea. these were not his affairs to meddle in! I didn't want him near Michael! Michael was...different.
I'll take that as a no. Second question. How do we help?
I started thinking.
Figure out his routine...Get into his house and... I started, unsure at how to go on.
Rather odd ideas started to come up in my mind.
Clean the place up? Get him some supplies? Food perhaps?
I nodded towards the hawk in front of me.
Yes.
I'll see what I can do. I'll check out his house and where he works and stuff.
Thank you.
I watched my friend fly off and started thinking the matter over.
Why didn't I want Prince Jake to help us?
How could I be sure Michael wasn't a Controller, an enemy?
Where would any human ever be able to accept an Andalite as more then just an ally?
I looked at my reflection in a stream not far from Tobias' tree and looked at my reflection.
Perhaps it was because of his unusual hair color --dyed or not-- that the boy fascinated me so.
Perhaps it was because of that that I hoped he'd share this fascination towards me.
Perhaps these humans had finally drove me insane enough to start hallucinating.
Perhaps I needed some TV.
Yes, television would help, it always did. But I had rarely felt any emotions so strong and still so unclear.
I shook my head, carefully running a hand over my tail.
My hands weren't as strong as those of these humans and they didn't have a tail. My hands --my real hands-- wouldn't have been able to catch Michael if he fell. My tail might have killed him.
I didn't have a mouth, unless I morphed.
I noticed that, when I was thinking or talking about Michael, words seemed to matter very little. I didn't drag the sounds out. The subject was more important, not the grip of my mouth around the words.
Perhaps I should think like that more often, my fascination --some called it an obsession-- with sound seemed to irritate or at least make the animorphs quite uncomfortable.
I remembered Estrid.
She had made me fell slightly like this, a far weaker emotion.
She did have a tail and hands, like me, and...
When I thought about it, there were more females like her in the army. There was only one Michael, who was lost and happy and sad and hurt at the same time. Only one Michael that made me want to morph into small, weak, newborn animals and follow him home and to his job...so peculiar.
The war we had fought and won had been over for a few years now, yet we still were active, always looking if there were any new threats. No one had came to collect me, so I had stayed. I didn't mind. My friends were there for me, I had little obligations... What could possibly have gone wrong?
The answer was almost ridiculously simple.
Michael.
That had gone wrong.
That had thrown over all that I had believed in.
I had believed I would do anything for Prince Jake.
Now, I knew that was untrue.
I'd die for Prince Jake, throw my very own mother in an active volcano and smile if he wanted me to...But I couldn't mention Michael.
Prince Jake would call him a 'freak' and that would anger me.
I didn't know what would happen if that happened.
Tobias spent the rest of the next two weeks like that, flying off early in the morning and coming back in the evening.
At night, towards the end of Tobias' series of explorations, I dreamed of leaving the forest, going into the town, no one there, going to that house, the door wide open.
Every time, I heard Tobias voice, just before I saw.
A ghost of a whisper that echoed in my head, over and over.
...You know what happens when we don't eat, right?
And then I saw a lifeless body, all horrors of the war coming back to my mind and being inflicted on that limp form before all harm disappeared and left Michael dead, pale and thin.
I ran in, hooves echoing trough the house, and I touched him, tried to hold him, press him close to me...bring him back, back, back...And it doesn't work. He's dead. Most of the time, I awoke at that point, a few hours before I saw a red-tailed hawk fly off into the direction of that house. I waited for another hour or so, and when Tobias didn't return by then, I knew my dreams had been just that, dreams.
One day, Tobias turned to me before leaving.
Morph into a bird. I spend the last few days getting some stuff to start. It was your idea, so you'd better help.
I morphed eagerly, wanting to leave the forest for a while.
Even better, wanting to explore Michael's house.
Getting in was easy. We both morphed into an insect and crept in trough a small gap under the door.
We spend an entire day morphing back and forth as we cleaned the entire house. Hard work, but I relished it. When the lock clicked, at about six-thirty, Tobias quickly morphed from human to bird to insect and went out as fast as he could. I first morphed back to my true form before morphing into the small cat Michael had found one day.
His footsteps were hurried as he stormed into the kitchen.
"What the hell happened here?!" he demanded from the thin air, looking around as if in fear.
"Prow?" I forced out of the kitten's mouth.
Michael's eyes fell on me, he blinked a few times and then shook his head.
"Get yourself together, Michael. Kittens don't clean up houses. Just calm down and check if there's anything gone...safe for dirt."
He ran up and down the house, checking all chambers with me following. His exploration took up little time, no more then a quarter of an hour. I marveled at the efficiency.
He sank down into the sofa and hugged himself again when he ended back up in the living room.
"What the fuck is going on here? First those damn diseases of mom and dad turn their only child in a freak with green hair and purple eyes--"
So that was natural! A mere disease that had altered the structure of the mother's egg cells and/or the sperm cells of the father.
"--Then mom and dad die because no one knows what they have and I get to live on my own and can't go to school--"
I was shocked to hear this.
Prince Jake had made it clear to me that children had to go to school, that it was essential in their education. Only dire circumstances in life could force a child to work instead of learning.
"--And then I find out that someone breaks into my house, lets in a cat and scrubs the place from top to bottom! Who is THAT insane?"
His fists were clenched, he was completely tensed.
I licked his knuckled carefully, quickly.
They tasted salty and soapy.
Michael looked down at me.
"I wanna check, but I don't think I've got something for you to eat."
Indeed, the house indeed was devoid of any nutrition. Tobias had said we'd take care of that the next day.
I saw him fly outside, waiting for me.
"You don't happen to know who did this, do you, kitty?"
I faked a yawn and jumped off the table I had been deposited on, padding towards the door and waiting patiently for Michael to open it for me.
He chuckled.
"Getting bored of me already, kitten? Fine, I'll let you out."
With that, he let me out and closed the door behind me.
I followed Tobias back to our home.