Disclaimer: I have no idea what a disclaimer is but I think it has something to do with ownership...so...I don't own RFR and honestly I don't' wish I did. I don't own anything except that notebook that I lost.
Lily walked carelessly down the cement path in the park. Her arms were folded closely to her chest, as if she was protecting herself. The cotton sweater she was wearing was soft, but durable to keep the cold of the autumn air isolated out. Her baggy jeans hung over her shoes, and the back of the hem was getting beaten up from dragging on the ground. She kept her eyes upward, toward the grey clouds that coated the sky, threatening to break down into a heavy rainfall any minute. She hadn't expected the coming event because the clouds had been like that all week without a single drop, but in two minutes she was getting soaked with rain. She heard the dry leaves, crackling from the water droplets, and thought about the last time she heard something like that.
"Lily! Come over here, and look at the..."
That was when she heard it. It was quick, and she heard a scream after it. Then running. Nonetheless, she had heard the sound and ever since, it scared her to death. She half knew what it was, half didn't want to look or know. She was only 5, and she didn't know what to do, so instead of going back to investigate, she ran straight home. Police informed her dad, who informed her and Simone what it was, or what happened when Lily heard the shot. She cried then, for days, and she cried now for thinking about it. It had been so long since she talked about that to anyone, dreamed, or thought about it.
Anyone know what it is? I'm pretty sure this sucked, but who am I to judge my own work, I don't know what I'm writing half the time. It just kinda...appears oO So anyway, if you hated it, just tell me, I'm used to it. But if you could, tell me why. Constructive criticism helps. "I hate it. You suck at writing." doesn't help. So...review.
Lily walked carelessly down the cement path in the park. Her arms were folded closely to her chest, as if she was protecting herself. The cotton sweater she was wearing was soft, but durable to keep the cold of the autumn air isolated out. Her baggy jeans hung over her shoes, and the back of the hem was getting beaten up from dragging on the ground. She kept her eyes upward, toward the grey clouds that coated the sky, threatening to break down into a heavy rainfall any minute. She hadn't expected the coming event because the clouds had been like that all week without a single drop, but in two minutes she was getting soaked with rain. She heard the dry leaves, crackling from the water droplets, and thought about the last time she heard something like that.
"Lily! Come over here, and look at the..."
That was when she heard it. It was quick, and she heard a scream after it. Then running. Nonetheless, she had heard the sound and ever since, it scared her to death. She half knew what it was, half didn't want to look or know. She was only 5, and she didn't know what to do, so instead of going back to investigate, she ran straight home. Police informed her dad, who informed her and Simone what it was, or what happened when Lily heard the shot. She cried then, for days, and she cried now for thinking about it. It had been so long since she talked about that to anyone, dreamed, or thought about it.
Anyone know what it is? I'm pretty sure this sucked, but who am I to judge my own work, I don't know what I'm writing half the time. It just kinda...appears oO So anyway, if you hated it, just tell me, I'm used to it. But if you could, tell me why. Constructive criticism helps. "I hate it. You suck at writing." doesn't help. So...review.