A/N: Hi everybody! I've got a grand Idea! I'm gonna write Nintendo a e-mail asking them if It's okay if I use their people in their story! YEY!!!! And now to say thank you to all those who reveiwed:
THANK YOU UBER MUCHY!
A/N: One last thing: Does Chapter 5 appear in full for you? It seems the bottom disappears whenever I read it, about the point when Ness jumps out of the porta-pottie.
The Renaissance Faire
Chapter 7
---Maple Theather---
Peach handed Toad a little note. "Here Toad. I want you to go around and gather the men for a talk. Don't fail me!"
"Ooooh, so NOW I'm important!" Toad moaned. "Why not give it too YOOOOOOOSHI! You seem to like YOOOOOOSHI so much. It's always YOOOOOOSHI who does this and YOOOOOSHI who does that! ARGH!!!" Toad was about to rip the note in half, but stopped as Peach began to push him.
"Less talkie and more gettie." Peach said, pushing Toad out the door.
---Pyschic Way---
Malon, Young Link and Roy dashed from the tree covered path of Pyschic Way to see Zelda drinking the stand dry of all coffee. "Only the best things in life cost 15 bucks!" She said between sips.
"Zelda, why are you drinking Coffee?" Malon asked. "I heard it's bad for you!"
"COFFEE IS NEVER BAD!!!" Zelda screamed, slamming her fist on the bar. "NEVER! NEVER! NEV- Do you guys want something to eat?"
"Sure!" All three replied, walking up to the stand for some food.
---Maze---
Ness was wandering around the maze alone and lost. "Linky! Linky! Where did ya go Linky!?" He screamed into the endless maze. "LINKY!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
"Huh? I'm right here..." Link said, from the other side of the maze's colored wall. The elf ducked under the cloth and appeared next to Ness. "Can we leave now?" Ness shook his head. "Why?"
"Cause I don't know the way out!"
"It's that way..." Link said, pointing towards the exit. "It was very easy to find it, I've been there thirty times already!"
"Oh! Okay...Let's go! We still gotta call Richard Moore for Marth!" Ness ran towards the exit and dashed out and towards a pay phone, followed by Link. Ness put in a quater and dialed.
"Moore Detective Agency!" Said the voice of a young woman over the phone.
"Hullo there! My friend's Hooker has been murdered! Can you help?" Ness asked.
"Ness!" Link said, stealing the phone away. "You need to be 18 years or older to call!"
"Aw..."
"Hello?" Asked the woman.
Link put the phone to his ear and spoke. "Yes, my friend's hooker was murdered a few minutes ago. Can you do anything about it?"
"We'd need-"
"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU NEED! THE MURDERER! AAAAAH HE'S HERE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Eep!" Link covered his mouth and made a gun shot noise. "Ughuooosouhg stab...ough...I'm dying..." Link fell to the ground and dropped the phone.
"LINK! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ness ran over to his fallen friend and began shaking him. "You can't leave me like this!!! I'm just a lost little boy in a giant world!!"
Link sat up, pushed Ness away and grabbed the phone. "So, are you gonna help?"
"Okay. We'll be there in ten minutes." The woman said, before hanging up.
"See?" Link said, standing up. "I am soooooooooooooooo cool."
"Yeah, and so are these magents." Ness said, playing with some magents he just found on the floor. "Look! If you hold this one to this one, the first one runs away!"
"Yeah...that's real nice..."
---Pyschic Way---
Toad dashed up to Daisy and handed her a note. "Daisy! Meeting! Now! Let's go!"
Daisy stood confused. "Huh? Meeting? Really?"
"Yes! Meeting! Now! Press the button!"
"What? Button? You mean this button?" She held up a remote.
"Yes! That button! Press! Now!"
"Why? Can it help us? I don't like talking like this."
"No! It can't! Just DO IT!" Daisy pressed the button and the two of them dissapeard.
---Maple Theather---
Peach was standing on a stage with Mewtwo, Yoshi, Daisy, Bowser, Toad and the last Cloaked Man in the audience. "Attention, noble guest!" She said, raising her hand. "I have come up with an idea! We shall attack those who destoryed Starbucks when they are all together, even though killing them when they are weaker and apart is the better thing to do!"
Yoshi dropped his head into his palms and moaned, Daisy reached into her card deck and pull out a card, Bowser was picking his nose, Mewtwo was mediating and Cloaked Numba 4 was rubbing his hands saying, "Good...Good..."
"Okay...so...now we're done here, let's head on back to our work." Peach said, begining to head out.
"We can't." Peach turned around to see Yoshi standing up. "We can't go back to work."
"Why?!" Peach yelled in surpirse.
"Cause you said this meeting will take 15 minutes! We still have 14 Minutes to spare! And I'm gonna savor all of 'em!"
"Grr..." Peach walked back to the center of the stage. "So what should we do?"
"Dunno, entertain us Peach!" Toad said with a smile.
"Hm...What could pass the time..." Peach said, rubbing her chin. "I know! I'm gonna have to practice singing for the finals, so...I'm gonna sing a song I heard on a play once!" She spun around and flipped her hair. "Weeeeeee! The Internet! Yes! That's what I'm gonna sing about! The Internet is really, really great!"
"For Porn." Bowser added.
"I have a fast connection, so I don't have to wait!"
"For Porn."
"Huh?" Peach looked at Bowser, shook her head and continued. "There's always some new site-"
"For Porn."
"I browse all day and night-"
"For Porn."
"It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light!"
"For Porn!"
"Bowser..."
Bowser got up out of his seat and walked onto the stage. "The Internet is for Porn!"
"What the hell!?"
"The Internet is for Porn!"
"Oh, you saw it too?"
"Why you think the net was born? Porn, Porn, Porn."
Peach sighed and slapped Bowser. "Bowser, why do you know this song?!"
"Oh, Hello Prince Toadstool!" Bowser said, slapping Peach back.
"Prince?! It's Princess. AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT SLAPPING ME!" Peach slapped Bowser a few more times before turning away to finish singing. "I'm glad we have this new technology!"
"For Porn!"
"Ugh. It gives us untold opportunities!"
"For Por- Eep!" Bowser stopped mid sentance when he saw Peach giving him a very evil death glare.
"From your own desktop-"
"For-"
"You can research, browse and shop! Until you've had enough and your ready to stop!"
"FOR PORN!"
"Bowser!"
"Hehehe." Mewtwo, Daisy and Yoshi giggled.
"The Internet is for Porn!" Bowser sang, moving up to Peach, who slapped him away.
"It is not!"
"The Internet is for Porn!"
"Crazy Koopa!"
"I up all night honking me horn to Porn, Porn, Porn!"
The Princess's face went pale white. "Ew...that's just...wrong...prevert..."
"Sticks and stones Prince Toadstool!"
"PRINCESS!!! And I mean...what the hell do you look at? Is it like...Female Koopas? Or Humans?" Peach pondered.
Bowser gave a goofy smile. "A Little of Both!"
"Oh...gawd...my tummy hurts thinking about that..." Peach said, sitting down. "I guess only Koopas would look at porn on the internet..."
"HAHA!" The crowd laughed, pointing at Peach.
"Huh?" Peach looked around. "What? Is there something on my face?! GASP! AM I BREAKING OUT?!"
"Nah, you just have no idea what your talking about! Ready Peach's henchmen?!"
"Ready!" Mewtwo replied.
"Ready!" Yoshi said.
"Ready!" Toad added.
"I'm not a henchman!" Daisy yelled.
"The Internet is for Porn!" Bowser, Mewtwo, Yoshi and Toad sang.
"Sorry Kate!" Yoshi said quickly.
"Huh?!"
"The Internet is for Porn!"
Yoshi stuck his head up again. "I masturbate."
"My name is not Kate!"
Bowser began poiting to Mewtwo, Yoshi and Toad. "All these guys unzip their flys to-"
"Porn, Porn, PORN!" All the men sang. "Porn, Porn, POR-"
"WAIT!!!" Peach screaming, stopping their singing. "First off, why they hell is my name Kate?"
"Nothing else really fits..." Bowser mumbled.
"You could have called me 'mate' or something..." Peach said, crossing her arms. "Now, before you start singing again, let me just clear this up. The only people who look at porn are Mario and Bowser. And don't try to say you do!"
"Peach..." Mewtwo said, holding up a chart. "A recent poll states that 98 Precent of the worlds population go online and watch some form of porn!"
"Yeah!" Toad added. "And 97 Precent of them are underaged!"
"Ewwwwwww!"
"The Internet is for Porn!" The guys sung again.
"I hate Porn..."
"The Internet is for Porn!"
"THE INTERNET SHOULD BURN!"
Bowser pushed Peach off the stage. "Grab your dick and double click for-"
"Porn, Porn, Porn!"
"Ouchy!"
"Porn, Porn, Porn, Porn!" They all sung, harmonizing.
"I'm leaving!"
"Porn, Porn, Porn, Porn!"
"ARGH!"
"The Internet is for-" Bowser sang.
"The Internet is for-" Bowser and Yoshi sang together.
"THE INTERNET IS FOR POR-" The guys were cut off by Peach.
"I'M NOT PAYING YOU TO BE SINGING ABOUT PORN!!!" The pissed princess yelled, storming off.
Daisy and the Cloaked Guy clapped from the audience while the boys just muttered stuff not very nice towards Peach.
---Town Square---
Ness and Linky are walking up towards the entrance of the faire. "Link, why are we heading up this way?" Ness asked.
"Cause we should find Zelda. She might be able to help us with this note." Link replied, holding up the note Mewtwo had dropped. "If we find Zelda, we find her, or rather, Peach's magic cell phone, and we can call Roy."
"WIZARD!"
Link turned to Ness, who was pointing to the north. The swordsman turned and saw the wizard in blue robes standing there, waving to all who past, with the sun shining on him with godlike radiance. Suddenly, a van came plowing through the crowd of people and slamed right into the wizard. A drunk Ricard Moore, Rachel and the tiny Conan hopped out of the car. "Oh no!" Ricard yelled, running over to the KOed wizard.
"Is he okay?!" Both Rachel and Conan asked.
"I crashed my van into Jesus!"
"Is that Ricard?" Ness asked Link, who nodded weakly. "Oh...Okay..."
Link coughed. "I'm not sure if this was such a good idea..."
To Be Continued...
A/N: That Chapter was by far one of the worst XD. The TV was on and I was just writing whatever I heard. Stupid song filled the entire story. Sorrry about that, I just had nothing really to write in that chapter. Don't flame ; ;