"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze into the abyss, take care that the abyss does not gaze into you."
-Nietzsche
Was this what his world had become?
A monster…or something worse?
Draco looked over to his girlfriend, she was laying in bed fast asleep. The moonlight fell across her beautiful face, her hair fanned out across the pillow. He kissed her gently on the cheek. Murmuring, she rolled over to get closer to him.
It was probably three or four in the morning but he was used to this insomnia by now. Decisions had been plaguing his mind these last few months, his world had changed just before then, and he was now able to see around him as the dust had finally settled.
Sighing deeply he got up and put his nightshirt on. It was still dark outside and no lights were turned on, but he'd done this so many times no light was needed. He knew the rout by heart. As quietly as he could he walked into the adjoining room, careful not to wake any one.
He leaned over the crib, just watching his sons' chest rise and fall slowly. Their child was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, well, besides his girlfriend. It was such a big deal for him to raise his son 'correctly'. He wasn't going to beat him, abandon him, or ever give him the idea he wasn't wanted.
Draco was so lost in thought he hadn't seen the toddlers eyes open, until he made a slight gurgling sound. A slow smile spread across Draco's face as Skyler yawned and reach up to his father. He picked him up, making shushing noises and bouncing him slightly. Ginny had been so run down lately, she needed every ounce of sleep she could get.
Yes, the two most precious things in his life…what did he want for them…what would he sacrifice?
It didn't take him long to answer his own question.
Everything.
He would sacrifice everything…
And in some ways he has, to provide the best he could for his family. Which was the best of everything if he may say so himself. But there were some things not even Gin knew about him. Like whose side he was fighting on. He told her he was neutral, and always would be. But she hadn't found his Death Eater uniform yet, nor did she have any idea what he'd done to innocent women and children just like his own family…
Skyler was currently trying to eat a button off of Dracos' nightshirt. He held the child closer, rocking him slightly and holding his little hand.
Is this what he wanted for his child? That kind of a world to live in? And, God willing, more of his children would live in? Whether or not to be part of the Dark Side was a decision he'd never had to think about before, well, not very in depth any way, and not since his school days at Hogwarts.
His mind drifted off once more, but to that first night with her, Virginia Weasley. He remembered it just like it was yesterday. While some parts where a bit fuzzy, he'd blame that on the drugs, but he never did forget the first time he really /saw/ her, and was mesmerized by everything about her.
It happened almost four years ago, in one of the astronomy towers, some time in the middle of the night….
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
There was no need to pull back now, not as if he could. Shadow puppets covered his eyes making funny hand gestures, and then his head was swimming. Shapes danced across his eyelids in colors he'd never seen before, let alone describe to some one else. And he felt pleasure like he'd never felt before…sometimes he couldn't decide which was better, sex or drugs.
-=-=-=-
The needle was still in the crook of his arm.
And his body was sprawled out on the ground.
This is how she found him, helpless and vulnerable for probably the first time in his life.
She didn't move right away from her position against the wall, she just watched him. The blonde boy was still breathing, although his breaths became more labored. His hand moved, almost as if he was trying to lift his arm but only part of his body was listening. Then he muttered
"…Jesus fucking Christ..."
She slowly walked over toward him, maybe not the smartest thing to do, but she wanted to know if he was ok. Did she need to take him to the infirmary? Slowly kneeling down she touched his forehead. He felt clammy. 'eeeew' she thought, wiping her hands on her skirt.
That's when she really noticed the needle in his arm. And it registered in her brain of what it could mean.
"Oh my…." Virginia removed the needle carefully, as not to do any harm. Well, more harm than what had been done.
But what to do with him?
Actually this was nothing really new to her, this kind of situation. With 5 brothers (not including Percy) and Harry, all who get bored pretty easily and will try anything once…well lets just say she's seen it before. At least she knew he was only on a high, not overdosing.
Great, now who is he?
-=-=-=-
God his head was killing him. Not only his head, but also his arms, and legs, fingers, even his /fingernails/. That must have been some shit, he thought. He wasn't sure where he was, but it was comfortable and so he tried to get back to sleep.
Light from the day filtered in at some point, and landed on him.
'Nooooo…bad sun. Go away you sodding sunlight. You aren't wanted here. Damn you!'
Groaning he tried to sit up, only to find he forgot how to work his body. But mustering up enough strength to open one eye was enough to tell him he wasn't where he started out at.
Wait…where did he start out at…?
Well where ever it was it wasn't this place, that much he knew.
Trying to remember what happened last night only made his head hurt worse…but he did remember some of the stuff he saw, or was it felt? He couldn't tell which, it was all kind of mixed up. Like he was able to taste colors or something. Or everything around him had sped up while his limbs felt like packed wet sand and he could barely move them. Then there was the girl…Draco groaned, the girl who did so /many/ amazing things with her tongue. To damn bad it was all in his head…out of all of his hallucinations during various 'drug-fests'; he would have loved for her to be real…
About twenty minutes later Draco was able to sit up, blink, and process simple things like: It is noon according to the clock.
That was when a girl walked in. He looked up, not really having anything to say to her, and so he didn't. Things in his mind were still a bit elementary at the moment.
But the girl, Ginny Weasely, wasn't expecting him to be up. According to his choice of drugs he took last night he should be out for several more hours. They both stared at each other, sizing one another up, appraising.
'Not bad…looks a bit young, but shaggable...'
'Why is he looking at me like that? Poor boy must be confused as to where he is…'
Virginia was the first to break the silence.
Walking over to the bedside table and pulling a drawer open she said, "I found you last night, I wasn't sure what to do…so I brought you here. And I also grabbed your kit that was on the ground." Finding what she wanted, a zipped-closed brown leather case about the size of a small book, she shut the drawer.
"Did you bring the needle?" he asked a bit worried.
"Yes, it's in here, capped." Draco let out his breath. It was stupid of him to have done what he did last night. Any one could have found him, and leaving around his needles….
She tossed the leather case to him.
Surprisingly he caught it before it hit his chest, which now that he thought of it, was bare.
"What the hell happened to my clothes?" he raised his voice a bit, narrowing his eyes at her.
She raised her eyebrows at his language but answered none the less, "You ripped your shirt in one of your 'fits'. There really wasn't any point in keeping it" Ginny pointed to a chair in the corner of the room "It's over there if your that attached to it."
He noticed she sounded a bit hurt. "I'm…sorry. I just…damn that was some pretty powerful shit I took last night. I'm still a bit…out of it."
"Hmmm, I can tell." She had a small smile on her lips, and what nice lips those were, Draco noted.
Yes, those drugs must have really fucked him up because he smiled a charming smile and said the first thing that came to mind, "Fancy a shag?"
As soon as he said it, he knew it was the wrong thing to do. Her jaw dropped, then all of a sudden he wasn't looking at her any more…he was looking at the window to his right. Then he felt like he'd been slapped on his left cheek.
He ran through the facts again and decided that, yes, he had been slapped on his left cheek.
By the time he'd discovered which way he was looking she'd already turned around. When she'd reached the door she caught his eye and said, "You are so bloody disgusting! I should have left you were I found you, bastard." And she slammed the door.
Draco shrugged and laid back down to sleep, 'Maybe she wasn't in the mood.'
TBC
(A/N): To see when the next chapter will be up, or to get a link to my email please go to my Fanfiction profile and click on my homepage link. Up-dates are listed at the top of the page, and descriptions at the bottom. Thank you for reading and please review with any helpful advice/comments.
-Wind and Ashes
p.s. Disclaimer: Anything HP not mine. Everything else is mine.
.
-Nietzsche
Was this what his world had become?
A monster…or something worse?
Draco looked over to his girlfriend, she was laying in bed fast asleep. The moonlight fell across her beautiful face, her hair fanned out across the pillow. He kissed her gently on the cheek. Murmuring, she rolled over to get closer to him.
It was probably three or four in the morning but he was used to this insomnia by now. Decisions had been plaguing his mind these last few months, his world had changed just before then, and he was now able to see around him as the dust had finally settled.
Sighing deeply he got up and put his nightshirt on. It was still dark outside and no lights were turned on, but he'd done this so many times no light was needed. He knew the rout by heart. As quietly as he could he walked into the adjoining room, careful not to wake any one.
He leaned over the crib, just watching his sons' chest rise and fall slowly. Their child was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, well, besides his girlfriend. It was such a big deal for him to raise his son 'correctly'. He wasn't going to beat him, abandon him, or ever give him the idea he wasn't wanted.
Draco was so lost in thought he hadn't seen the toddlers eyes open, until he made a slight gurgling sound. A slow smile spread across Draco's face as Skyler yawned and reach up to his father. He picked him up, making shushing noises and bouncing him slightly. Ginny had been so run down lately, she needed every ounce of sleep she could get.
Yes, the two most precious things in his life…what did he want for them…what would he sacrifice?
It didn't take him long to answer his own question.
Everything.
He would sacrifice everything…
And in some ways he has, to provide the best he could for his family. Which was the best of everything if he may say so himself. But there were some things not even Gin knew about him. Like whose side he was fighting on. He told her he was neutral, and always would be. But she hadn't found his Death Eater uniform yet, nor did she have any idea what he'd done to innocent women and children just like his own family…
Skyler was currently trying to eat a button off of Dracos' nightshirt. He held the child closer, rocking him slightly and holding his little hand.
Is this what he wanted for his child? That kind of a world to live in? And, God willing, more of his children would live in? Whether or not to be part of the Dark Side was a decision he'd never had to think about before, well, not very in depth any way, and not since his school days at Hogwarts.
His mind drifted off once more, but to that first night with her, Virginia Weasley. He remembered it just like it was yesterday. While some parts where a bit fuzzy, he'd blame that on the drugs, but he never did forget the first time he really /saw/ her, and was mesmerized by everything about her.
It happened almost four years ago, in one of the astronomy towers, some time in the middle of the night….
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
There was no need to pull back now, not as if he could. Shadow puppets covered his eyes making funny hand gestures, and then his head was swimming. Shapes danced across his eyelids in colors he'd never seen before, let alone describe to some one else. And he felt pleasure like he'd never felt before…sometimes he couldn't decide which was better, sex or drugs.
-=-=-=-
The needle was still in the crook of his arm.
And his body was sprawled out on the ground.
This is how she found him, helpless and vulnerable for probably the first time in his life.
She didn't move right away from her position against the wall, she just watched him. The blonde boy was still breathing, although his breaths became more labored. His hand moved, almost as if he was trying to lift his arm but only part of his body was listening. Then he muttered
"…Jesus fucking Christ..."
She slowly walked over toward him, maybe not the smartest thing to do, but she wanted to know if he was ok. Did she need to take him to the infirmary? Slowly kneeling down she touched his forehead. He felt clammy. 'eeeew' she thought, wiping her hands on her skirt.
That's when she really noticed the needle in his arm. And it registered in her brain of what it could mean.
"Oh my…." Virginia removed the needle carefully, as not to do any harm. Well, more harm than what had been done.
But what to do with him?
Actually this was nothing really new to her, this kind of situation. With 5 brothers (not including Percy) and Harry, all who get bored pretty easily and will try anything once…well lets just say she's seen it before. At least she knew he was only on a high, not overdosing.
Great, now who is he?
-=-=-=-
God his head was killing him. Not only his head, but also his arms, and legs, fingers, even his /fingernails/. That must have been some shit, he thought. He wasn't sure where he was, but it was comfortable and so he tried to get back to sleep.
Light from the day filtered in at some point, and landed on him.
'Nooooo…bad sun. Go away you sodding sunlight. You aren't wanted here. Damn you!'
Groaning he tried to sit up, only to find he forgot how to work his body. But mustering up enough strength to open one eye was enough to tell him he wasn't where he started out at.
Wait…where did he start out at…?
Well where ever it was it wasn't this place, that much he knew.
Trying to remember what happened last night only made his head hurt worse…but he did remember some of the stuff he saw, or was it felt? He couldn't tell which, it was all kind of mixed up. Like he was able to taste colors or something. Or everything around him had sped up while his limbs felt like packed wet sand and he could barely move them. Then there was the girl…Draco groaned, the girl who did so /many/ amazing things with her tongue. To damn bad it was all in his head…out of all of his hallucinations during various 'drug-fests'; he would have loved for her to be real…
About twenty minutes later Draco was able to sit up, blink, and process simple things like: It is noon according to the clock.
That was when a girl walked in. He looked up, not really having anything to say to her, and so he didn't. Things in his mind were still a bit elementary at the moment.
But the girl, Ginny Weasely, wasn't expecting him to be up. According to his choice of drugs he took last night he should be out for several more hours. They both stared at each other, sizing one another up, appraising.
'Not bad…looks a bit young, but shaggable...'
'Why is he looking at me like that? Poor boy must be confused as to where he is…'
Virginia was the first to break the silence.
Walking over to the bedside table and pulling a drawer open she said, "I found you last night, I wasn't sure what to do…so I brought you here. And I also grabbed your kit that was on the ground." Finding what she wanted, a zipped-closed brown leather case about the size of a small book, she shut the drawer.
"Did you bring the needle?" he asked a bit worried.
"Yes, it's in here, capped." Draco let out his breath. It was stupid of him to have done what he did last night. Any one could have found him, and leaving around his needles….
She tossed the leather case to him.
Surprisingly he caught it before it hit his chest, which now that he thought of it, was bare.
"What the hell happened to my clothes?" he raised his voice a bit, narrowing his eyes at her.
She raised her eyebrows at his language but answered none the less, "You ripped your shirt in one of your 'fits'. There really wasn't any point in keeping it" Ginny pointed to a chair in the corner of the room "It's over there if your that attached to it."
He noticed she sounded a bit hurt. "I'm…sorry. I just…damn that was some pretty powerful shit I took last night. I'm still a bit…out of it."
"Hmmm, I can tell." She had a small smile on her lips, and what nice lips those were, Draco noted.
Yes, those drugs must have really fucked him up because he smiled a charming smile and said the first thing that came to mind, "Fancy a shag?"
As soon as he said it, he knew it was the wrong thing to do. Her jaw dropped, then all of a sudden he wasn't looking at her any more…he was looking at the window to his right. Then he felt like he'd been slapped on his left cheek.
He ran through the facts again and decided that, yes, he had been slapped on his left cheek.
By the time he'd discovered which way he was looking she'd already turned around. When she'd reached the door she caught his eye and said, "You are so bloody disgusting! I should have left you were I found you, bastard." And she slammed the door.
Draco shrugged and laid back down to sleep, 'Maybe she wasn't in the mood.'
TBC
(A/N): To see when the next chapter will be up, or to get a link to my email please go to my Fanfiction profile and click on my homepage link. Up-dates are listed at the top of the page, and descriptions at the bottom. Thank you for reading and please review with any helpful advice/comments.
-Wind and Ashes
p.s. Disclaimer: Anything HP not mine. Everything else is mine.
.