Title: Verisimilitude
Author: GrapeSmshr
Rated: R
Coupling: HP/SS slashy goodness
Disclaimer: As much as I wish it were so, these charas don't belong to me.
Thanks to: Crazy Mary-J... You're my lifesaver with this, you know.
A/N: I honestly, honestly didn't think I would have this chapter up today. There's actually a reason behind my thoughts, which I'll post at the ending A/N (where I have a couple of important things to say, so please don't skip them!). So anyway, read on and enjoy!
OoOoOoO
Chapter 11: One Thing Left To Say
Pacing back and forth in his room, Severus was fuming. How could he let that happen? One would think that he was still a hormonal teenager! He showed no self-control back there. If anything, at least he knew Harry wasn't hesitant to cross that friendship line.
But Severus was. He thought it wouldn't be a big deal, but it really was. And that frustrated him. Wasn't this what he had wanted? He certainly thought so. He felt like the world had fallen away and it was only them, and it was the best feeling. But then that bloody conscience came back, something he was not fond of hearing in the back of his mind.
Would it really be so bad, dating Harry? He had already snogged the man. In fact, he had initiated it, not Harry. So why did he feel this way, all nervous and twitchy?
It wasn't because of the age difference. He couldn't give Merlin's left ear for what the Wizarding world thought of him and his relationships. Then what was it? Certainly Harry was beautiful. And a damned good kisser, Severus surmised from their brief but intense liplock. It definitely had nothing to do with Harry.
It was him. He was afraid. He was afraid to start up a relationship with Harry. The fear was irrational, he knew, but he couldn't help it. Then he snorted. He wasn't afraid of serving the Dark Lord for several years, but he was afraid of Harry Potter. Well, not Harry specifically, but the idea of being with Harry. And that was enough for him to have run away.
Sighing miserably, he collapsed onto the sofa. He finally got his life back, and he was royally mucking it up. Harry probably hated him right about now. But until he could figure out his thoughts and feelings, Severus was going to keep his contact with the other man as minimal as he could possibly could.
OoOoOoO
After trying for about half an hour to fire-call Severus, Harry finally accepted that the man had no intention of lifting the wards anytime soon. He was quite upset over what had just transpired, naturally. He hadn't expected the kiss, and he expected even less that Severus would run away from it.
Harry knew that it wasn't the kiss itself that drove the man off. He had had his fair share of experiences, so he knew enough to know that their too damn short encounter was one of the best experiences he had ever been privy to.
So what was it? Cold Severus not handle the stress of dating Harry Potter, the "celebrity"? Somehow he highly doubted that his supremely unwanted fame had anything to do with it. He was at a total loss. Maybe Draco would have some insight.
Grabbing a handful of floo powder, Harry fire-called the blonde, knowing that he would still be awake at the late hour.
After a moment, Draco's face popped into the fire. "Hey, Harry. Is your date over so soon?" He lifted an eyebrow suggestively.
"Actually, yes. That's why I'm calling. Do you mind?"
Frowning, Draco responded, "Of course not. Come on through."
A moment later, the two were sitting cross-legged on Draco's bed, facing one another. Harry looked downright unhappy, and Draco felt a wave of dread and concern begin to erupt in the pit of his stomach.
"I don't understand what's going on, so I thought I would ask you," Harry began, absently tugging at the coverlet. "We had such a great time! We had drinks and then came back to the school to talk. We decided to call it a night, and I could tell that he didn't really want the evening to end. I was going to just settle for a departing hug, but he kissed me! And it was a good kiss."
"Better than me?" Draco teased, causing Harry to smirk.
"No comment." Then he frowned, eyebrows furrowing together. "In the middle of the kiss, he suddenly just pulled away. He said that he couldn't do this. I guess he meant that he couldn't be in a relationship with me. I don't know. His floo is warded, so I can't ask him."
As Harry's shoulders hunched in dejection, Draco felt this growing urge to throttle his godfather. True to his word, he was going to have to talk to the man--or yell, or possibly hex--on Harry's behalf. His actions made no sense. Why would Severus run away like that?
Climbing off the bed, Harry murmured tiredly, "I'm going to go. I just want to go to sleep."
"Good idea." Draco hugged Harry to him tightly, anger growing as the other man all but collapsed in his arms. "I'll check on you in the morning," Draco called as Harry stepped through the fire to his own room with a halfhearted wave.
Leaving his room, Draco marched down the long hallway to Severus's room, rapping loudly and unrelentingly on the door. A few moments later, the portrait swung open as Severus appeared. Before he could even open his mouth to say anything, Draco pushed right past him into the room.
He whirled around and glared at Severus, who returned the expression avidly. The other man looked like hell, Draco observed shrewdly. Well, good. He deserved to feel bad. But Draco still wanted to know what the hell was going on. When the potions master made no move to speak, Draco said, "Well, I hope you're happy."
Increasing the intensity of the glare, Severus stalked over to the sofa and collapsed onto it. "Draco, this is--"
"None of my business? None of my concern?" Draco stood directly in front of him, arms folded across his chest. "I told you not to hurt him!"
"I didn't mean to!"
"Well, what did you expect would happen when you ran away like that?"
Sighing, the glare dropped as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I didn't expect that to happen. I didn't expect anything to happen." How did things just go so wrong, so fast?
Draco knew he should be understanding, but he really didn't feel like it. Besides, the point would get across so much more effectively if the conversation revolved around anger. "And when something did, you decided to just run? I didn't think you were such a coward." He knew he struck a nerve when the older man's jaw tensed. Continuing on with his taunt, Draco added, "And here I thought you could handle just about any situation. One simple kiss sent you running--"
"You don't know the half of it!" Severus burst out angrily.
"And neither does Harry, because you didn't tell him!" Draco shot back. "I suggest you mend this quick, for both your sakes." Not bothering to wait for a response, Draco angrily left the room.
Let the man brood on that for a while.
OoOoOoO
Harry really was dreading class, but he knew that there was no avoiding Severus. He would just try to act nonchalant and not angry. Draco had told him this morning that he had talked to Severus, but he couldn't say if the talk was effective in any way. So he had no hopes and no expectations other than civility, and even that might have been pushing it.
When Severus walked into the room, Harry took a deep breath and turned to him, about to bid the man good morning. He quickly bit his cheek as he noticed the potions master's extremely sour expression. Exactly what did Draco say to him last night?
A good ten minutes later, class was ready to begin. Harry rose from his seat, about to give instructions for the potion they were to brew, but Severus beat him to it.
Gliding to the front of the desk, Severus barked out, "Your next potion is on page three hundred sixty-four. Get to work!" He waved his hand, and instructions appeared on the board. The class looked uncertainly at Harry, and Severus shouted, "Now!" The students scrambled to their feet to retrieve their ingredients.
Once the other man sat back down, Harry glared at him. "They aren't ready to do such an advanced potion yet!" he hissed quietly. "It was supposed to be brewed at the end of term."
"A challenge should help improve their feeble minds," he sneered, not looking up from the papers he was sifting through.
"They are second-years," Harry pointed out. "That's a bit too challenging for them at this point in the year."
"What; are you afraid that your wonderful teaching skills have not prepared them?" he snapped back.
So they were back to that, were they? "What the hell is wrong with you?" Harry ground out, sufficiently annoyed. He was in no mood to put up with more snide remarks, especially on such an overplayed topic. Especially since he didn't deserve them.
"Wrong with me? There is nothing wrong with me. If you have a problem, deal with it yourself."
Harry was about to give the man a scathing reply, but a cauldron exploded in the back of the room. Sighing, he rushed over to help.
OoOoOoO
The rest of the morning passed by with the same tense atmosphere. Severus attempted to take his whatever out on the students, but Harry rescued them from having to brew potions that would no doubt blow up the dungeons. This only served to irritate Severus more, and Harry was quite angry himself.
As the last morning class hightailed it out of the classroom and headed to lunch, both men were practically fuming. Severus rose from his seat and made to exit, but the door slammed shut before he even got near it. He turned back around and glared at Harry. "Let me out."
"No." Harry stood, swiftly walking over to the other man. He didn't plan on letting either of them leave until he had said his piece. "Why?"
He didn't have to elaborate; Severus knew exactly what he was talking about. "This is not the time to discuss it."
"Well, I would suggest we talk later, but you'd probably run off again," Harry mocked, watching in satisfaction as the potions master bristled at the comment.
"I don't need to explain myself to you," Severus growled, stalking up to the door and throwing random spells at it, trying to get it to open.
Well, that was certainty news to Harry. "Oh really? Because I think you do." If he wasn't so irate, he would have been amazed at Severus's logic, or lack thereof. "If I remember correctly, I was there last night as well. And just in case your memory is still impaired, let me remind you that you kissed me!" he ended with a shout.
Abandoning the door, Severus countered, "Yes, I did. And it was a mistake."
"I don't believe that."
"Well, I don't care what you believe." Severus, seeing that the door was not going to open for him, walked back to his desk and perched on the edge of it.
"If that were true, you wouldn't still be here."
"You bloody locked me in!" Severus protested.
"That's not what I meant, and you know it." Hands on his hips, Harry was growing more frustrated by the second. He wasn't getting the answers he sought, and he'd be damned if he didn't at least get some sort of reaction out of the other man. "Last night it seemed like you were enjoying yourself. But maybe my judgment was off. Maybe I was too distracted by your tongue shoved down my throat."
Standing, Severus retorted, "You say it like you didn't enjoy it."
Oh, he was so caught. But why wouldn't he admit it? "There's no denying that," Harry agreed, "unless you're you, I suppose. Did that antidote have some ingredient to fry your brain cells and I just not know it? You're making things way too complicated."
Severus was highly insulted by now. Why couldn't Harry just give it a rest, give him time to think some more? Maybe then he'd be able to respond with something other an anger. "This entire thing is too complicated, and you're not helping matters any. Now will you open the fucking door?"
"I just have one thing left to say to you." Harry was in front of Severus before the man could even blink. "There's something between us whether you want to admit it or not. Hasn't enough of your life been wasted for you to brood over whatever it is that you're brooding over?" He scowled. "Just settle your bloody thoughts already." He grabbed Severus's collar, pulling the man into a rough kiss that was harsh and angry and bruising and crackling with fire.
Pushing him away, Harry waved his hand, and the door flew open. He strode out of the room, this time inwardly smirking as the other man was left behind in a daze.
OoOoOoO
OoOoOoO
I soooooo hope that this chapter wasn't redundant. I wasn't as pleased with it as I know I could have been, but I was really just running myself around in circles. So please let me know if it turned out all right.
Now onto the news that I know you want to hear. I know last chapter I said that there would only be 2 more chapters, but I decided to extend it to at least one more chapter. Meaning, there are 2 left after this one. When I was writing this one, I realized that the next part I'll be writing will most likely be pretty detailed. That left me with the decision of either taking my sweet time to write it and posting it next week sometime, or to keep it separate. Obviously I decided to post this chapter and cut the two pieces apart. I really do think it'll be better this way. And bonus, an extra chapter for you guys!
Please review! I'm awaiting the results from my two tests, so I'm a bit anxious and nervous and could use a distraction in the form of encouraging words. Plus I really do value what you guys say, and I do so appreciate it more than you know. I love you guys to bits! Until next chapter, then. Peace out!
Author: GrapeSmshr
Rated: R
Coupling: HP/SS slashy goodness
Disclaimer: As much as I wish it were so, these charas don't belong to me.
Thanks to: Crazy Mary-J... You're my lifesaver with this, you know.
A/N: I honestly, honestly didn't think I would have this chapter up today. There's actually a reason behind my thoughts, which I'll post at the ending A/N (where I have a couple of important things to say, so please don't skip them!). So anyway, read on and enjoy!
OoOoOoO
Chapter 11: One Thing Left To Say
Pacing back and forth in his room, Severus was fuming. How could he let that happen? One would think that he was still a hormonal teenager! He showed no self-control back there. If anything, at least he knew Harry wasn't hesitant to cross that friendship line.
But Severus was. He thought it wouldn't be a big deal, but it really was. And that frustrated him. Wasn't this what he had wanted? He certainly thought so. He felt like the world had fallen away and it was only them, and it was the best feeling. But then that bloody conscience came back, something he was not fond of hearing in the back of his mind.
Would it really be so bad, dating Harry? He had already snogged the man. In fact, he had initiated it, not Harry. So why did he feel this way, all nervous and twitchy?
It wasn't because of the age difference. He couldn't give Merlin's left ear for what the Wizarding world thought of him and his relationships. Then what was it? Certainly Harry was beautiful. And a damned good kisser, Severus surmised from their brief but intense liplock. It definitely had nothing to do with Harry.
It was him. He was afraid. He was afraid to start up a relationship with Harry. The fear was irrational, he knew, but he couldn't help it. Then he snorted. He wasn't afraid of serving the Dark Lord for several years, but he was afraid of Harry Potter. Well, not Harry specifically, but the idea of being with Harry. And that was enough for him to have run away.
Sighing miserably, he collapsed onto the sofa. He finally got his life back, and he was royally mucking it up. Harry probably hated him right about now. But until he could figure out his thoughts and feelings, Severus was going to keep his contact with the other man as minimal as he could possibly could.
OoOoOoO
After trying for about half an hour to fire-call Severus, Harry finally accepted that the man had no intention of lifting the wards anytime soon. He was quite upset over what had just transpired, naturally. He hadn't expected the kiss, and he expected even less that Severus would run away from it.
Harry knew that it wasn't the kiss itself that drove the man off. He had had his fair share of experiences, so he knew enough to know that their too damn short encounter was one of the best experiences he had ever been privy to.
So what was it? Cold Severus not handle the stress of dating Harry Potter, the "celebrity"? Somehow he highly doubted that his supremely unwanted fame had anything to do with it. He was at a total loss. Maybe Draco would have some insight.
Grabbing a handful of floo powder, Harry fire-called the blonde, knowing that he would still be awake at the late hour.
After a moment, Draco's face popped into the fire. "Hey, Harry. Is your date over so soon?" He lifted an eyebrow suggestively.
"Actually, yes. That's why I'm calling. Do you mind?"
Frowning, Draco responded, "Of course not. Come on through."
A moment later, the two were sitting cross-legged on Draco's bed, facing one another. Harry looked downright unhappy, and Draco felt a wave of dread and concern begin to erupt in the pit of his stomach.
"I don't understand what's going on, so I thought I would ask you," Harry began, absently tugging at the coverlet. "We had such a great time! We had drinks and then came back to the school to talk. We decided to call it a night, and I could tell that he didn't really want the evening to end. I was going to just settle for a departing hug, but he kissed me! And it was a good kiss."
"Better than me?" Draco teased, causing Harry to smirk.
"No comment." Then he frowned, eyebrows furrowing together. "In the middle of the kiss, he suddenly just pulled away. He said that he couldn't do this. I guess he meant that he couldn't be in a relationship with me. I don't know. His floo is warded, so I can't ask him."
As Harry's shoulders hunched in dejection, Draco felt this growing urge to throttle his godfather. True to his word, he was going to have to talk to the man--or yell, or possibly hex--on Harry's behalf. His actions made no sense. Why would Severus run away like that?
Climbing off the bed, Harry murmured tiredly, "I'm going to go. I just want to go to sleep."
"Good idea." Draco hugged Harry to him tightly, anger growing as the other man all but collapsed in his arms. "I'll check on you in the morning," Draco called as Harry stepped through the fire to his own room with a halfhearted wave.
Leaving his room, Draco marched down the long hallway to Severus's room, rapping loudly and unrelentingly on the door. A few moments later, the portrait swung open as Severus appeared. Before he could even open his mouth to say anything, Draco pushed right past him into the room.
He whirled around and glared at Severus, who returned the expression avidly. The other man looked like hell, Draco observed shrewdly. Well, good. He deserved to feel bad. But Draco still wanted to know what the hell was going on. When the potions master made no move to speak, Draco said, "Well, I hope you're happy."
Increasing the intensity of the glare, Severus stalked over to the sofa and collapsed onto it. "Draco, this is--"
"None of my business? None of my concern?" Draco stood directly in front of him, arms folded across his chest. "I told you not to hurt him!"
"I didn't mean to!"
"Well, what did you expect would happen when you ran away like that?"
Sighing, the glare dropped as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I didn't expect that to happen. I didn't expect anything to happen." How did things just go so wrong, so fast?
Draco knew he should be understanding, but he really didn't feel like it. Besides, the point would get across so much more effectively if the conversation revolved around anger. "And when something did, you decided to just run? I didn't think you were such a coward." He knew he struck a nerve when the older man's jaw tensed. Continuing on with his taunt, Draco added, "And here I thought you could handle just about any situation. One simple kiss sent you running--"
"You don't know the half of it!" Severus burst out angrily.
"And neither does Harry, because you didn't tell him!" Draco shot back. "I suggest you mend this quick, for both your sakes." Not bothering to wait for a response, Draco angrily left the room.
Let the man brood on that for a while.
OoOoOoO
Harry really was dreading class, but he knew that there was no avoiding Severus. He would just try to act nonchalant and not angry. Draco had told him this morning that he had talked to Severus, but he couldn't say if the talk was effective in any way. So he had no hopes and no expectations other than civility, and even that might have been pushing it.
When Severus walked into the room, Harry took a deep breath and turned to him, about to bid the man good morning. He quickly bit his cheek as he noticed the potions master's extremely sour expression. Exactly what did Draco say to him last night?
A good ten minutes later, class was ready to begin. Harry rose from his seat, about to give instructions for the potion they were to brew, but Severus beat him to it.
Gliding to the front of the desk, Severus barked out, "Your next potion is on page three hundred sixty-four. Get to work!" He waved his hand, and instructions appeared on the board. The class looked uncertainly at Harry, and Severus shouted, "Now!" The students scrambled to their feet to retrieve their ingredients.
Once the other man sat back down, Harry glared at him. "They aren't ready to do such an advanced potion yet!" he hissed quietly. "It was supposed to be brewed at the end of term."
"A challenge should help improve their feeble minds," he sneered, not looking up from the papers he was sifting through.
"They are second-years," Harry pointed out. "That's a bit too challenging for them at this point in the year."
"What; are you afraid that your wonderful teaching skills have not prepared them?" he snapped back.
So they were back to that, were they? "What the hell is wrong with you?" Harry ground out, sufficiently annoyed. He was in no mood to put up with more snide remarks, especially on such an overplayed topic. Especially since he didn't deserve them.
"Wrong with me? There is nothing wrong with me. If you have a problem, deal with it yourself."
Harry was about to give the man a scathing reply, but a cauldron exploded in the back of the room. Sighing, he rushed over to help.
OoOoOoO
The rest of the morning passed by with the same tense atmosphere. Severus attempted to take his whatever out on the students, but Harry rescued them from having to brew potions that would no doubt blow up the dungeons. This only served to irritate Severus more, and Harry was quite angry himself.
As the last morning class hightailed it out of the classroom and headed to lunch, both men were practically fuming. Severus rose from his seat and made to exit, but the door slammed shut before he even got near it. He turned back around and glared at Harry. "Let me out."
"No." Harry stood, swiftly walking over to the other man. He didn't plan on letting either of them leave until he had said his piece. "Why?"
He didn't have to elaborate; Severus knew exactly what he was talking about. "This is not the time to discuss it."
"Well, I would suggest we talk later, but you'd probably run off again," Harry mocked, watching in satisfaction as the potions master bristled at the comment.
"I don't need to explain myself to you," Severus growled, stalking up to the door and throwing random spells at it, trying to get it to open.
Well, that was certainty news to Harry. "Oh really? Because I think you do." If he wasn't so irate, he would have been amazed at Severus's logic, or lack thereof. "If I remember correctly, I was there last night as well. And just in case your memory is still impaired, let me remind you that you kissed me!" he ended with a shout.
Abandoning the door, Severus countered, "Yes, I did. And it was a mistake."
"I don't believe that."
"Well, I don't care what you believe." Severus, seeing that the door was not going to open for him, walked back to his desk and perched on the edge of it.
"If that were true, you wouldn't still be here."
"You bloody locked me in!" Severus protested.
"That's not what I meant, and you know it." Hands on his hips, Harry was growing more frustrated by the second. He wasn't getting the answers he sought, and he'd be damned if he didn't at least get some sort of reaction out of the other man. "Last night it seemed like you were enjoying yourself. But maybe my judgment was off. Maybe I was too distracted by your tongue shoved down my throat."
Standing, Severus retorted, "You say it like you didn't enjoy it."
Oh, he was so caught. But why wouldn't he admit it? "There's no denying that," Harry agreed, "unless you're you, I suppose. Did that antidote have some ingredient to fry your brain cells and I just not know it? You're making things way too complicated."
Severus was highly insulted by now. Why couldn't Harry just give it a rest, give him time to think some more? Maybe then he'd be able to respond with something other an anger. "This entire thing is too complicated, and you're not helping matters any. Now will you open the fucking door?"
"I just have one thing left to say to you." Harry was in front of Severus before the man could even blink. "There's something between us whether you want to admit it or not. Hasn't enough of your life been wasted for you to brood over whatever it is that you're brooding over?" He scowled. "Just settle your bloody thoughts already." He grabbed Severus's collar, pulling the man into a rough kiss that was harsh and angry and bruising and crackling with fire.
Pushing him away, Harry waved his hand, and the door flew open. He strode out of the room, this time inwardly smirking as the other man was left behind in a daze.
OoOoOoO
OoOoOoO
I soooooo hope that this chapter wasn't redundant. I wasn't as pleased with it as I know I could have been, but I was really just running myself around in circles. So please let me know if it turned out all right.
Now onto the news that I know you want to hear. I know last chapter I said that there would only be 2 more chapters, but I decided to extend it to at least one more chapter. Meaning, there are 2 left after this one. When I was writing this one, I realized that the next part I'll be writing will most likely be pretty detailed. That left me with the decision of either taking my sweet time to write it and posting it next week sometime, or to keep it separate. Obviously I decided to post this chapter and cut the two pieces apart. I really do think it'll be better this way. And bonus, an extra chapter for you guys!
Please review! I'm awaiting the results from my two tests, so I'm a bit anxious and nervous and could use a distraction in the form of encouraging words. Plus I really do value what you guys say, and I do so appreciate it more than you know. I love you guys to bits! Until next chapter, then. Peace out!