A/N: When I first started this fic, I thought it was going to be an action adventure. I wrote down all these neat little ideas in my story outline, and went to work. Well, it seems like my outline has taken a life of its own, and instead of adventure, I keep writing this, which I'm not sure which genre it fits in. Angst, maybe? Oh well. Maybe I'll have it figured out when I get to the end.

Enjoy!

Chapter 5

"Will you help us?" Leo asked, gravely. "This isn't...you guys need to know that there could be consequences with the Elders."

"You couldn't stop us." Phoebe stated, touching her hand briefly to Leo's arm in comfort, before quickly pulling it away. At his questioning look, she replied, ruefully, "Sorry, I've got my empathy powers back, so I'm trying to avoid getting too close to anyone to read them..."

"Can you still read me? You were giving me a weird look earlier in the attic when we were with Grams. What about the empathy blocking potion we took?" Piper asked, as she glanced at the scrying crystal that Paige had been using earlier.

"Oh, it still works. I can't read a thing off of you and Paige. Although, I don't really think I need my empathy powers to know what you're feeling." Phoebe said, softly. "I just wish I had gotten my premonition powers back instead. Maybe we would have been able to find Chris."

Leo shook his head. "Premonitions don't work that way, Phoebe. And you probably got your empathy powers back first for a reason."

Paige stiffened at Leo's words; a reason, almost the same words Grams had used to explain Chris' fate. She knew Leo was unaware of her feelings, but it was like pouring salt on an open wound.

Shoving her feelings aside, she changed the subject, "I hate to interrupt, but we have a bit of a problem." Paige moved beside Piper, showing her the scrying crystal, and piece of paper with Chris' scribblings. "Chris cleaned out everything at the club, and this was the only thing I could find. It's not really personal, so I'm not sure if I can't find him because we need something that really belongs to him or if he's just not on this map." Paige waived her hand frustratingly at the map. "Although, I'm pretty sure it's not the map, since this IS a map of all the planes in existence, so he's got to be on the one marked 'Hell.'" Paige grumbled.

"But we don't have anything else that's Chris'." Phoebe began slowly. "He made sure of that, when he was getting ready for us to send him back. He didn't want..."

"Future consequences." Piper finished, looking at Leo helplessly. "Leo, we need something of Chris' to find him." Why couldn't they catch a break? Despair threatened to overwhelm her, and she forced it down with an audible swallow. She had to keep her head on straight if she was going to save her son.

Before Leo could answer, another voice responded, "Maybe this will help."

The sisters, and Leo turned towards the voice.

"Clarence," Amazed, Leo took a step forward. "What are you doing here?"

"Clarence? You know him? Who is he? And how'd he get into the attic without us knowing?" Paige asked, suspiciously.

"He's...a friend. He works for the Angel of death, as a messenger." Leo stood in front of the sisters, protectively. "I hope this is a social call?"

Clarence smiled serenely, "Don't worry, I'm not here on official business."

"Then why are you here?" Piper asked, slowly.

Clarence's smile faltered. "I'm here...I'm here because of your son, Chris."

"Chris?" Piper gasped, "Do you know where he is? What happened to him?"

Clarence nodded slowly. "I was with him when the Tribunal made their decision." Reaching out his hand, Clarence solemnly held out an envelope to Leo. "While we were waiting for the Tribunal to make their decision, Chris wrote this. He asked me to give it to you if anything happened to him."

Leo glanced at Piper in disbelief. At her urging, he took the letter from Clarence. His hands shaking, he ripped the envelope open, unfolding the letter inside. He recognized the writing as Chris'.

Leo,

If you are reading this letter, then you've found out about the whole 'preserving the balance between good and evil' crap with the Elders. I'm not sure what's about to happen, but I've just got this really bad feeling...

If I'm wrong, Clarence will burn this letter anyway, so you won't find out that I wrote this.

(Clarence tells me that 'it's against the rules' for me to contact you as a spirit, which is why I couldn't contact you before. Besides, I'm not even sure if I am or will be a spirit, or ghost, or whatever.)

You've probably been blaming yourself for my death at Gideon's hands. Don't. You weren't the one who stabbed me. When I first arrived in the past, I knew there was a pretty good chance that I would never get back. I accepted that even before I left the future that I could die outside my timeline or that I wouldn't be able to return. Besides, it's not so much death that bothers me, but rather, how a person goes.

Dying to protect my family, our future - that's better than living safe. And I know you'll understand when I say that there is nothing more important to me than protecting our family.

The truth is, we never saw eye to eye on the whole 'destiny and fate' thing (I guess kind of like most things). If I believed in fate the way everyone else does, I would have never bothered to come back to the past to try to change it in the first place. After all, you and the sisters believe everything happens for a reason, right?

I don't believe that. "Destiny" is the one word I've always hated, ever since Mom sat down and explained to me her destiny as a Charmed One when I was little. I don't care what the Elders say; I am NOT some puppet that they can manipulate when they see fit. Me coming to the past wasn't some foreordained quest, and I am certainly not some stupid hero in a prophecy. When I came to the past to save Wyatt, I could feel a change in the air. Already the sisters had eliminated some of the demons that were the biggest threat in my future. If these demons were now gone, that had to have changed the future somehow, right?

I believe that we can change our destinies, that some invisible hand isn't herding us to a predetermined fate. I believe that we can reach out and make it our own, that there is 'no fate'.

I have to believe that; because I can't believe that my older brother will turn evil, or that my mother will die young, and that the future is lost.

Tell mom...tell mom, that I'm okay. Give my love to her and my aunts, Grandpa... our family. Take care of them for me.

You and mom should grow old together. Take care of Wyatt and mini-me.

Always,

Chris

Clarence had disappeared while the two parents read, flashing out of the attic. Paige and Phoebe watched as the emotions flickered across Leo and Piper's faces as they read the letter from their son. Piper was sobbing, even before she finished reading, and Leo had turned pale as a ghost. The two parents embraced each other in comfort, holding each other tightly as they absorbed their son's last words to them.

Gently plucking the letter from Leo's unresisting hand, Phoebe and Paige both read the letter. Silent tears rolled down Phoebe's face, as she quickly scanned the letter. Paige's eyes were bright with unshed tears, and drawing a shaky breath, she blinked furiously, trying to hold the tears back. She would be damned if these were Chris' last words to his parents.

"This letter." Paige turned to the grieving parents, who were still in shock. "This is it. We can use this letter to scry for him." Hurrying over to the map, Paige began to scry with the letter over the map of Hell. "Come on, come on..." Cursing softly under her breath, she willed the crystal to find her nephew.

"It's not going to work." Leslie stated, as all eyes turned to the doorway of the attic, "But I think I've got something that will."

Time ceased to have meaning.

He laughed, hollowly. For someone who was obsessed over changing the future, it was almost like a big cosmic joke.

He sat on the floor of the command room. Huddled, clutching his knees so hard he knew he would leave bruises, he squeezed himself into a tight ball, resting his forehead on his arms, grieving.

Everyone he had ever cared about was gone.

He had no idea how long he sat there, on the cold, damp, hard floor. Grieving. Thinking. Wondering. He didn't know when he had jumped back into his timeline. How many days had it been since he had left for the past? Was it months? Or years, even? With not a single soul left to ask, he had no idea how much time had passed.

"Chris."

Startled, he glanced upwards, scrambling to get up from his vulnerable position on the floor.

"Leysa?" Disbelief in his voice, Chris blinked.

"Hello, Chris."

Her voice came from the corner, where shadows covered that side of the room. Slowly, the Valkyrie moved forward, her shadow solidifying out of the darkness, her face still half- hidden.

Chris began to back away slowly. The last time he had seen her, it had been to steal her amulet, so that the Charmed Ones could rescue Leo. And so he had taken the amulet from her, knowing that doing so would send her soul to the afterlife.

"What? Aren't you pleased to see me?" her voice was flat, not a hint of accusation or recrimination to inflect it.

"Leysa..." Chris' voice trailed off.

He opened his mouth to protest his innocence, that he hadn't had a choice.

His mouth snapped closed. That wasn't true. He did have a choice. And he had made that choice when he first ripped the amulet away from the valkyrie, knowing full well what would happen to her. At the time, the realist and the son his mother had raised him to be, had warred within him. The realist had won. He had pushed all thoughts of guilt and self-recrimination to the back of his mind, telling himself that there would be time later to regret his actions and he would gladly pay for them then. And now, confronted by the very soul that he had taken, he couldn't lie to himself any more.

He had learned long ago that sometimes the expedient way was the only way. It didn't mean it was the best or right way, but sometimes, it was the only way.

But it made him feel soiled, old and terribly cynical.

"Myst said you would, if you had to." Leysa stepped completely away from the shadows now, revealing her ghostly form. "I didn't believe her. I thought we had a deal. I thought you had honour."

There was nothing he could say. Sorry just didn't seem good enough.

So he said nothing.

Because he had no defence.

He had lured Leysa to her death, stolen her amulet for her magic, and betrayed the trust of friendship that he had with the valkyries.

Worst of all, he had betrayed every value, every moral fibre in his body that his mother had instilled in him.

He felt...disgusted...with himself

Before he could focus his thoughts, more and more ghosts began to materialize in the small confines of the room. Chris recognized many of them as his friends and followers from the Resistance. Leading them, Darryl stepped forward, his eyes burning into Chris'.

"You left us Chris," Darryl's voice was full of blame. "I asked you not to go. I told you not to, that we needed you here. But you left anyway."

"I had to go, Darryl. You didn't understand," Chris pleaded for understanding from one of his oldest and dearest mentors, his honourary uncle in the future. It was together with Darryl, that Chris had used the Resistance as a means to protect the innocent from Wyatt and his army. "I thought I could save the future."

Darryl shook his head. "I told you that it may not work. That you could go back to the past and nothing would change here. Or that you could change the future in worse ways. And by leaving, you deserted the people who counted on you! People who relied on you to keep them safe! Wyatt's army came, and we couldn't hold them off. And now, everyone's dead, and you're telling me I don't understand?"

"I had to try!" Chris protested, vehemently. "It was our best shot, Darryl. I thought I could save everybody by going back to the past! That I could erase our timeline, and this would never have happened."

"Best shot for whom, Chris?"

At the soft voice, Chris whipped his head to the left, his eyes widening in disbelief. "Bianca?"

She stood before him, dressed like she had been the night he had proposed to her. Her long brown hair billowed gently from the chill in the room; her entire spirit seemed to glow with an inner light. She looked so heart-stoppingly beautiful, and Chris' heart ached for what might have been.

"I told you we could find another way. But you wouldn't listen to me. How could you leave me, Chris? Us?" Bianca's ghost moved to stand next to Darryl, as she joined the other ghosts, taking her place against Chris. "How could you let me die?"

The accusations hit Chris like physical blows, and he continued to back away from the advancing ghosts. He held his hands up in a desperate attempt to ward them off, shaking his head, as Bianca, Leysa, Darryl and the other ghosts advanced upon him, their faces full of accusation.

Silent tears began to pour down his face. Because he knew they were right.

In the end, he had gone back to save his family. That was all that had mattered to him. He had been selfish.

He had murdered Leysa, deserted his friends when they needed him most and left Bianca to die a horrible death.

All so that he could go back to the past and return to a future that he didn't even change.

He hated that nothing had changed. He hated that he had killed Leysa. He hated that he had left Bianca and his friends from the Resistance behind. He hated that he had had to lie to his aunts, his dad, his mom.

Most of all, he hated himself.

Because when you got right down to it, it hadn't been that much of a sacrifice for him to go back to the past. Life had been good there, even when his family didn't know who he was. The air had been cleaner, the city was still intact, the sky was blue and the ocean was beautiful. The manor was a home instead of a museum, the sisters were alive, and good was still triumphing over evil.

Guilt set in. And he knew he was guilty because he had enjoyed himself in the past. He had had dinner with his grandpa, bonded with his aunts, had long chats with his mother; he had even reconciled with his father, for crissakes.

"That's right, Chris." Bianca's eyes reproached him. "Did you think I didn't notice the cozy little nest you had built for yourself in the past? You forgot all about us. You forgot all about your responsibilities, your duty, your loyalty."

She's right. I DID forget. I let myself be distracted by my own selfish desires to spend time with mom, my family...If only I had focused on finding who turned Wyatt, I could have stopped Gideon sooner. I could have stopped Leo from his need for revenge, I could have... Recrimination and self-doubt pounded through his head. Self-loathing followed quickly on the heels of self-disgust. I could have saved the world. Instead, I let everyone down. I failed everyone.

Unable to meet their eyes, Chris came up short as he backed himself right up against the wall.

There was nowhere to go, nowhere to turn.

Pain. Doubt. Guilt. Shame. Despair. My fault...

It built to a crescendo inside of him, until he felt he was being ripped apart.

"There's only one way to end this Chris." Bianca's hand opened to reveal to him what she had been holding. "There's only one way to atone for your sins. You can be with us now Chris, with me."

And she held out the athame to him.

"Who the hell are you?" Reacting before any of the rest could, Piper threw her hands up, effectively freezing the stranger.

Except, he didn't freeze.

Quirking his eyebrow at her, Leslie tried to look friendly, "Please don't blow me up?"

Her patience waning, Piper's eyes narrowed, as she considered doing just that, when Phoebe lurched across, yanking Piper's hands down.

"Wait! He's...he's...he's my ghostwriter," Phoebe explained, weakly. "Who happens to be a witch, and was suppose to stay downstairs..." and turned around to give him the evil eye.

"What can I say? I was never very good at taking orders. I'm much better at giving them, though." Leslie said, helpfully.

"Okay, what EXACTLY is going on here?" Piper demanded, pointing her finger at Phoebe. "Cliff notes version, please."

"Ah, he came over to show me a sample of his work to prove he could be my ghostwriter, which Elise wants, because she feels I'm too stressed at work and then I felt his emotions so I think we can trust him but for some weird reason he admires and respects babies and a demon attacked and he saved me and baby Chris from an energy ball because he's a telepath and can channel powers and he's from the future." Phoebe let out a breath. "And then I heard a thud in the attic, so I thought I would check on Paige, and we were so busy scrying for Chris I forgot all about him."

"Did you follow all that?" Paige asked Leo, who shushed her, before Piper could turn on them.

"FIRST, who is taking care of my sons, if we're all up here in the attic? Second, what demon? And third, why is a telepath from the future...no, scratch that, I leave for like 10 minutes and all hell breaks loose???" Piper yelled.

"I think I should probably answer for myself," Leslie responded, "First, your father is downstairs with the kids. And, uh, my name is Leslie, and yes, I am from the future, and yes, I am a telepath."

"You're not related to me too, are you?" Paige wondered.

"No!" came the answer from both Phoebe and Leslie, quite vehemently.

"Okay, okay, no need for surround sound," Paige sniffed.

Phoebe rolled her eyes in response; facing her sisters, she explained, "He told me that he's a friend of Darryl's, in the future. And he is telling the truth. I can feel it."

Leslie nodded. "Darryl asked me to come back to the past to make sure nothing happened to the Charmed Ones. The demon that Phoebe mentioned? It didn't just shimmer in, Piper, it came from a time portal. Someone is trying to change the future for the worse, and Darryl wanted me to stop them."

Piper shot a glance at Phoebe, who nodded her agreement. "He's telling the truth, Piper. A portal out of nowhere just appeared in the living room, and the demon just stepped out of it and attacked me." Holding up her hand before Piper could interrupt, Phoebe continued, "The kids are fine, and yes, I do believe Leslie, because that demon came right at me and totally ignored Wyatt."

"Thank god the demon was after you, and not Wyatt!" Piper relaxed.

"Hey!"

"Oh, you know what I mean," Piper turned her attention back to Leslie, "So you're friends with Darryl?"

"That's right. We meet in about 15 years from now."

"15 years?" Leo mused, "So that would mean you would be alive when Chris and Wyatt are around? How...how are my kids? Are they both...are they both good?" Leo asked, hesitantly.

"You know I can't answer that. It could mess with the future. I've already told you more than I was suppose to..." Leslie apologized, his gaze focused on the floor, as he shifted his weight from side to side. "It's not that I don't want to..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Future consequences," Paige rolled her eyes, exasperated. "It could mess with the future, blah, blah, blah. We should just get a tape recorder in here, and save everyone all the trouble..."

"Aren't you suppose to be scrying for my son? I'd like to get him out of Hell before the next century. We can deal with him later." Piper indicated Leslie with a nod of her head, her patience at an end.

"Geez! I'm on it, already." Paige picked up the crystal again, her hand clutching Chris' letter to his parents. "I don't understand why it's not working..."

"Ahem..."

All eyes turned to Leslie.

"Like I said, I don't think that's going to work and all," Leslie began, "But this might." He reached into his pocket, and carefully withdraw a piece of paper. "I came up here in the first place to see if I could help, after all."

"And how would you know what would work or not?" Paige narrowed her eyes suspiciously, "And why would your piece of paper work and not this one?" and crossed her arms.

"I've done some scrying in my days," Leslie shrugged, "That doesn't 'belong' to Chris as much as 'this' does." Leslie held out the paper to the sisters. Slowly coming forward, Piper took the piece of paper from his hand. "The scrying works better with something that has meaning to the person, right? Well, believe me when I tell you this means more to Chris than anything."

Piper glanced down, realizing it wasn't a piece of paper at all. It was a photo.

Of them.

The entire Halliwell family, taken not long after Chris was born, judging from his size. Victor, Leo, Wyatt, the sisters and baby Chris. Piper couldn't think of the last time they had all posed for a photo together. She looked up from the photo, at Leslie, "How did you get this?"

Leo, Phoebe and Paige gathered around Piper, peering over her shoulder. The photo was yellow with age, and creased. And yet, by their physical appearances in the photo, it certainly appeared that it would be taken in the near future. Leo gently touched the photo with his finger, tracing the outline of Piper, holding baby Chris, and himself, carrying Wyatt. They all looked so happy.

"Chris...gave it to me. Before he left the future to come here. He wanted me to keep it safe for him. He carried it with him everywhere; I think it was the only photo he had left of all of you." Leslie smiled sadly at Piper, "I think...I think it reminded him of happier times."

"Thank you." Piper looked down at the photo again, and then turned to Paige, her eyes bright with tears. "You think you can try again?"

Paige nodded, and carefully took the photo from Piper, least she should damage it any further. It was obviously a treasured item, the creases indicating that the photo had been folded and unfolded many times. She wondered why Chris would give this item to Leslie for safekeeping, and concluded that her nephew had known this man in the future very well indeed. She filed her thought away to question Leslie further on her theory, after they found Chris.

Again, the crystal moved lazily in circles around and around the map. Again, nothing.

Leslie frowned, "That should have worked."

"There could be some kind of interference. Scrying on different planes tends to be a hit and miss," Leo said, absently, as he came to stand next to Paige.

"And you couldn't have told us this sooner?" Phoebe demanded, "Oh, I don't know, like 20 minutes ago?"

"Sorry?" Leo shrugged.

"Maybe...maybe we're going about this all wrong." Paige mused. "I mean, what about that time I traded my soul for Larry's and I was 'down there'? You guys didn't use a scrying crystal to find me, you used a spell..."

"So maybe we should use a spell too," Phoebe finished, excitedly.

Rushing over to the Book of Shadows, Piper began to flip through the book. "We used the Find a Lost Sister Spell...maybe we can change it just enough so that we can use it to bring us to Chris!"

To be continued...