Chapter Four
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Next period, Hermione was off to Arithmancy. Being Hermione, she had signed up for nearly all the NEWT classes. Ron sighed as he watched her go, wondering if she was going to have time for him this year, either.
He turned back to the common room. He was going to have to talk to Seamus. If Hermione got wind of any rumors flying about concerning herself and him, she would have his head. And then, of course, the rumors would never come true. That's why you're not supposed to tell people what you wish for on your birthday cake, thought Ron idly. He wished he'd known his schedule the night before, or he could have still been sleeping right now.
He climbed back through the portrait hole. There was no sign of Seamus, so Ron threw himself in a chair near where Harry and Lucia sat on the hearth rug.
"Harry," said Ron, "I think you were right, what you said the other day.
"About what?
"Hermione.
"Oh, that," Harry blushed slightly. His jaw hardened almost imperceptibly. But Ron had known Harry for six years.
"Don't worry," said Ron. "I'm not going to do anything about it." He couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice. He had realized that Harry must fancy Hermione.
Harry looked up quickly. "Why not?" he asked innocently enough, though his cheeks were red.
"Never mind," said Ron irritably. "Just forget I said anything, okay? And we'll forget what you said, too.
"Fine," said Harry.
"So," said Ron, looking to change the subject, "Snape didn't show, eh?
"Hermione told you?" said Lucia suddenly. Through Ron and Harry's exchange, she had been staring into the ice-flames of the cooling fire.
Ron nodded.
"What else did she tell you?
"Nothing.
"Good. It's not something to be gossiped about.
"It will be," said Harry quietly.
"What will be?" asked Ron.
"You'll hear it soon enough," said Lucia.
"Look," said Harry, "I'm going to go up and see if I can't get some more sleep before lunch. I'll see you guys later.
As he vanished up the staircase, Ron frowned and said, "But he doesn't sleep.
Lucia shrugged. "Doesn't seem to want to be around you, does he?
Ron stared at her. "Careful, I don't think you were blunt enough. Be less subtle next time.
"You know," she said, "you really suck at sarcasm. And I should know, I'm the master.
Ron snorted and sat back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. If Harry was going to continue being difficult, he didn't know how much longer he could put up with it before he, too, snapped. Not that that would be such a bad thing. Harry could use a good telling off. But even as he thought this, Ron could feel himself calming down and starting to forgive the other boy. No matter how he tried, Ron could not stay angry with Harry.
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Harry threw himself down on his bed, battling jealousy and desire. He groaned. Ron and Hermione. Why did it have to be like this? And why had Ron suddenly decided to drop the subject? Did he suspect something?
Harry felt hot all over. He got up and washed his face in the sink of the dormitory W.C. The icy water did him little good. He stared at himself in the mirror. His cheeks were bright with an unhealthy, feverish colour, his green eyes unnaturally bright. And they were right, he was getting thin. His cheeks were growing hollow and there were bruise-colored bags under his eyes. Suddenly he was reminded of the way Sirius had looked after being in Azkaban for twelve years. He remembered, too, how he, Harry, had intended to kill him. He had thought about it often, how ironic it was that only a few years later he had again intended to kill- this time for Sirius's sake.
Harry shook his head quickly, hoping to drive away thoughts of Sirius. But it did no good, for whatever he thought about was equally depressing. He felt that knot of panic and hopelessness, of unbearable and overwhelming pain that was always somewhere in his chest start to rise like bile and grow. His breath came quick and shallow. He leaned over the sink, gripping his hair in his fists. He needed to get a hold of himself, he knew.
He would be saved once he'd had his first lesson. Then he could think about school work instead. He should have taken more courses so he could work all the time like Hermione.
Harry straightened up and took a deep breath. He would keep going, simply because he had to. There was no alternative. But it was hard.
------------------------------------------------------------------Harry was still upstairs when Hermione came back from class. She joined Ron and Lucia by the fire. Lucia, sensing their looks, left them alone to talk.
"So what did you want to tell me before?" Ron began.
Hermione glanced around the room once more, making sure Lucia was well out of hearing. She leaned over the arm of her chair so that she could lower her voice, just in case. "Lucia and Draco had a fight. I don't know what it means, but it had to do with their parents, which is the only reason it's any of our business.
"Their father's escaped, hasn't he?
Hermione nodded. "A while ago. Sometimes it scares me how little you pay attention, Ron.
"I pay attention to what you tell me.
Hermione blushed slightly from the way he was looking at her. She settled back down into her armchair and looked into the fire.
"We're talking about Harry," she said.
"Of course we are," said Ron, with a hint of bitterness. "Do we ever talk about anything else?
"What else is there to talk about, Ron? He's in danger; how could we justify spending our time on anything else? What's more important that Harry?
Ron glared at her, refusing to accept her dismissal of him. She didn't know what to do; she couldn't spell it out for him any further.
"He likes you, you know," said Ron suddenly.
"He does not," said Hermione.
"I don't mind, you know. You can go out with him if you want.
"No, I couldn't. Even if I did want to, which I don't.
Ron was silent for a moment. Then he said, "Hermione-
She stood up and faced him. "Ron," she said, "I don't know how I can make this anymore clear to you! I know you like me, okay? I know. And I like you. But we can't right now. We just can't.
"Why not?" Ron was on his feet, too. He had grabbed her shoulders.
Hermione opened her mouth, then shut it again. Ron wouldn't believe her if she told him. Besides, who was she to give away Harry's dirty little secret? So she retraced her steps, hoping Ron would follow.
"Because you were right," Hermione said. "He does like me. And I can't do that to him.
But then Ron kissed her.
Hermione took a step back, breaking away from him. "Oh, Ron...." She looked about her desperately. "But we can't tell Harry, alright? He can't know.
Ron nodded, but he didn't seem to be listening. He had stepped forward again and now put his hands in her hair. She took a deep, shuddering breath that was almost a sob, and reached up to kiss him.
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"Do you think they know they're snogging in the middle of the common room?" Lucia said to Parvati Patil.
Parvati was filing her nails. "All I can tell you is it's about time for the two of them. God, even my sister saw it coming and that was two years ago.
"And Harry's the odd man out, is he?
"Until he finally comes around to Ginny Weasley.
"So you've got it all figured out, have you?
"Of course." Parvati blew on her nails, smiling at Ron and Hermione. "People should just come to me earlier. It would save them a lot of running around after people they won't work with. I mean, look at them, aren't they cute together? And they wasted two years. It's tragic, really." She shook her head.
"So," Lucia said with the trademark Malfoy sneer, "who do you have picked out for me?
Parvati wasn't looking at her. "I would say Dean Thomas. Ginny Weasley just broke his heart. You to would do well together.
Lucia laughed. "I don't think so.
"Why not? What's wrong with him?
"He hasn't got tits, that's what's wrong with him.
Parvati nearly jumped out of her seat. "What are you, a lezzie?
"Fraid so.
"And you're in our dormitory. How disgusting.
"Right. I really want to look at your skinny arse. Don't flatter yourself.
Parvati huffed and walked away. Lucia sighed.
----------------------------------------------------------------Hermione pulled away again, coming to her senses. "Ron, people are looking.
"Let them look.
"If Harry finds out-
"Fine. I think it's too late, though.
She looked around again. The common room was almost empty, as most students had class. Of the few left, only several people had noticed them. Out of these, Hermione judged only Parvati and Lucia to be likely to tell Harry. She could go and talk to them herself. "I think we'll be ok," she said, calming down a bit. "It's time for lunch, though. You should go get Harry.
Ron sighed. "Alright. Can we talk tonight?
"We can do more than talk, I should think.
Ron grinned, but Hermione gave him a little shove to keep him from kissing her again. There would be time for all of that later. There would be time... Hermione couldn't help beaming to herself as she watched Ron walk reluctantly up to the dormitories.