Chapter Nine

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Saturday was the first Quidditch match of the year, between Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Harry went to watch with Ron and Ginny, Hermione staying behind to do homework.

They'd had practice on Wednesday, and Ron had announced the new players: The second year seeker, Sara Feild, and Collin Creevey as chasers; the portly boy, Ben MacGuire, and the Cricket star, Michelle Herring, as beaters. Ron had spent the evening going over strategy, and no one had actually flown. A second practice was scheduled after the match.

As the players took the field, Harry, watching from the stands, saw Cho Chang once again flirting with Roger Davies. A spiteful little part of him hoped she saw him with Ginny. Thinking he would kill himself over her... honestly. He also saw Draco Malfoy, who seemed to be the new Slytherin captain. Harry took this development as a good thing, as he didn't think much of Draco's Quidditch skills.

Ginny cuddled up against Harry, and he put his arm around her affectionately, though it was really still too warm for such close quarters.

Ron was apparently thinking the same thing, as he said, "They're going to have a time in this heat, eh?"

"It's no hotter than it is in the spring," said Ginny. "We played in this for the cup last year."

"True," said Ron, "But you don't expect it so early."

"It is weird," said Harry unnecessarily. He tightened his grip around Ginny's waist as her mention of the summer brought to mind Professor Moon's words. Ginny responded by kissing his neck.

"Oh, get a room," said Ron, grinning.

"Shut up, Ron," said Ginny lazily, burying her face in Harry's shoulder.

The match started then, and all conversation thereafter was strictly on the topic of Quidditch.

Slytherin scored early, and their beaters managed to put one of Ravenclaw's chasers out of the game. In fact, by noon the score was one hundred and forty to zero for Slytherin, but then Cho caught the snitch (Harry and Ginny had seen it earlier and said as much to each other) and Ravenclaw won by a mere ten points.

"Slytherin's good this year," said Ron worriedly.

"Yeah," said Harry, "They've added some wicked players. But Draco wasn't even paying attention."

"Must be Lucia," said Ginny.

"She's not even here," said Ron.

"Yeah, but she said she'd talked to him last night."

"How'd she manage that?" asked Ginny.

Harry shrugged. "She didn't say much. I haven't really talked to her this morning, actually."

They made their way back up to the castle to fetch their Quidditch robes and eat lunch before their practice.

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After lunch, Ron and Hermione were the first to leave, saying she was going to help him with his Care of Magical Creatures homework. Lucia and Ginny exchanged a look, but Harry remained, as always, oblivious. He did want to leave the table, however, as Ginny was becoming increasingly friendly and it made him nervous. So he followed his two friends a few minutes after their departure.

Later, he would wish he hadn't. For as he trudged mindlessly up the final flight of stairs that normally led to the Fat Lady, he looked up to find that the staircase was behaving quite oddly. He was now faced, not with the portrait, but with a closed door. Thinking he'd taken a wrong turn and wanting to get his bearings, Harry, hardly thinking, opened the door.

Quickly, he shut it again, his face hot. He ran back down the stairs and took an alternate route back up to Gryffindor tower.

Once in his dormitory, Harry shut the door with a loud bang. He was glad no one else was there. He stood in the middle of the room for some minutes, trying unsuccessfully to think straight.

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"I knew this would happen!" Hermione was saying, "We've gotten careless! I can't believe we forgot to reset the staircase! Oh, Ron, what are we going to do? He's going to hate us..."

"Calm down," said Ron. "I'll go talk to him, alright?"

"Just... make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

"Yeah, I will." Ron gave her one last kiss before chasing after Harry.

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Harry heard Ron come in, but he didn't have time to react.

"Harry...." said Ron, trailing off.

Harry took a deep breath and tried to sound normal. "How long?"

"We..." Ron stopped. "Since the first day of school."

"I see."

"Harry-"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because we knew you'd be upset!"

"I'm not upset," said Harry. But he was shaking. "Why should I be upset?"

"I don't know," Ron said angrily, "maybe you're jealous."

"What?" Harry whipped around.

"Look, I gave you the chance to say something before! You can't expect me to keep away from her forever just because you may be interested in her!" Ron was red, his ears matching his hair.

Harry shook his head furiously. "That's not it," he said, "That's not it at all."

"Oh, really? Then what is it, exactly?"

Harry looked at his feet. "Don't make me say it, Ron."

"What do you mean?" Ron said. When he was met with silence, his eyes widened. "Wait, you don't mean..... you can't... Oh, Harry."

For Harry had closed his eyes, his hand over his mouth to keep himself from crying. He nodded.

There was silence. Harry didn't want to open his eyes.

"Well?" said Harry, opening his eyes to stare at the floor. "Go on, say it. Tell me how disgusting I am. Tell me you never want to see me again. Tell me...."

"Harry-" said Ron, his voice cracking.

Harry waited, but Ron didn't say anything else.

Finally, Harry raised his head and looked up at him. Ron was staring at him sadly.

"I'll leave if you want me to," said Harry.

When Ron made no response, Harry made to push past him. But the other boy caught his arm.

Harry didn't look at him, but Ron took Harry's face in his hands and kissed him.

"Ron," Harry moaned, pulling away, "What are you doing to me?" He was blushing furiously, painfully aware of his 'excitement,' which he knew Ron must have felt.

"God," said Ron. "You weren't kidding."

"No," said Harry. He turned away.

"Wait, Harry. I- I want you to know... I do like you."

Harry froze.

"If you'd told me earlier.... Harry, I just can't right now..."

"You're in love with Hermione. I know."

"Yes," said Ron sadly. "I'm sorry, Harry."

Harry sat down on his bed and put his face in his hands.

Ron hesitated, then kissed him again, this time on his scar. Harry caught his breath. He heard Ron turn to leave, then pause at the door.

"Wait," he said, "Just what are you doing with Ginny, anyways?"

"I don't know," said Harry. He expected Ron to say more, but the redhead left without another word.

Harry lay back on his bed, feeling once again empty. He didn't know how long he lay there before Lucia came in and lay down next to him.

"So what's all this Ron business?" she asked.

"He rejected me," said Harry simply.

"But you told him."

"Yes, but what good did it do?" Harry rolled over, so he was turned away from her, facing the wall.

Lucia put an arm around him. Harry could feel her breasts against his back, and wished miserably that it turned him on.

"What did you say to Draco?" asked Harry, changing the subject.

"I apologised. For being a whore when we were younger."

"I bet he took that real well," said Harry, still staring at the wall.

"Actually, he sort of did. No one else was around, so I guess he wasn't worried about acknowledging my existence. He wasn't exactly friendly, but he didn't try to kill me."

"That's a step in the right direction."

"Yeah, and a big improvement. Maybe we'll get to start over."

Harry didn't want to ruin her hopes by telling her what Draco was really like. "He played badly today," he said. "I thought it might have to do with you."

"Maybe," she said. "Speaking of flying around on broomsticks, don't you have practice now?"

"I don't think I'll be going today."

"I see."

"If he wanted me there," said Harry, "He would have come to get me."

"What exactly did he say to you when you told him?"

Harry hesitated. "He- he said he liked me, but he was too much in love with Hermione."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"I can't tell if that's better or worse than I expected," she said.

Harry shrugged, which was awkward as he was lying on his side.

"Oh," she said suddenly, "I almost forgot, I have something for you." She sat up and began fishing about in her pockets. Harry turned over on his back and propped himself up with his elbows.

"Ah," she said at last, and produced a crumpled pack of Marlboros.

"Hey, thanks," said Harry, grinning. "Where'd you get them?"

"Anastasia Moon."

"What, the teacher?"

"No, you idiot, the student. Ravenclaw. Actually, I think she's Professor Moon's cousin or something. Anyway, her sister married a Muggle and now she smokes."

"Why have I never met this girl before?" said Harry, eagerly opening the pack and casting about for something to light them with.

Lucia laughed, and held out her wand, conjuring a small flame at its tip.

Harry lit a cigarette and enjoyed the first few drags immensely. "So now I don't have to deal with Hermione's, I guess."

"Nope."

"How much did she charge you?"

"Oh, I just got them in exchange for sexual favors."

Harry snorted.

"No, actually she just gave them to me," said Lucia. "For you, she was only too happy to oblige."

"I see. One of those?"

"She doesn't fancy you, if that what's you mean."

"Good," said Harry fervently.

"She's a lesbian."

"No way!"

"Yup. Hasn't come out yet, though. But you know what? She absolutely gorgeous."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I can't wait to corrupt her."

Harry laughed and shook his head as Lucia stretched in a self-satisfied manner, like a cat, or more accurately a sex kitten. He adjusted himself so that he was sitting up against the wall, and was surprised when she lay her head in his lap.

He sat and smoked, feeling better than he had in a long time.

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Ron had been reserved and tense all through Quidditch practice. He still didn't know what Harry might do. He hadn't expected to see him at practice, and was slightly glad when it turned out he was right. He wasn't ready to start pretending just yet, as they would have to the next time they saw each other.

Ginny asked about Harry, of course, but Ron just said that he wasn't feeling well since lunch. Suspicious, Ginny demanded more information, and Ron had to tell her off to stop her questions. Now she was miffed and wouldn't speak to him, which was just fine with Ron.

Hermione greeted him in the common room, her expression asking about Harry. There hadn't been time to talk before Quidditch. Ron waved her off, promising to fill her in later, and headed up to the dormitory to change.

He ran into Lucia on the spiral staircase, and scowled at her. She grinned in return and pushed past him on her way down.

Ron found Harry smoking on his bed, looking at his old photo album of his parents.

Ron cleared his throat. "Erm, hullo, Harry."

Harry looked up and smiled. "Hi, Ron."

Ron began changing out of his Quidditch things, feeling Harry watching him.

"I'll break up with Ginny if you want me to," said Harry suddenly.

Ron paused and looked at his friend oddly. Harry was staring back, that ridiculous thing hanging from the corner of his mouth. "No, now that you've asked her out, you've got to stick with it, haven't you?"

"Is that what you're doing with Hermione?" asked Harry quietly and, Ron thought, hopefully.

"No," said Ron, pulling his robes over his head. "I told you that. But you can't go breaking my little sister's heart for nothing, okay?"

"Right."

When Ron had finished changing, he turned to Harry again. "Do you like girls at all?" he asked.

Harry hung his head. "No. Not really."

Ron nodded absently, and left.

Hermione was waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

"What did he say?" she asked worriedly.

Ron sighed. "He's queer," he said.

Hermione nodded.

Ron was suddenly suspicious. "You knew, didn't you?"

"Of course I did. Everyone knows, Ron. The way he looks at you..."

Ron's stomach turned.

"So he told you, did he?" Hermione went on.

Ron nodded.

"I'm surprised," she said. "I didn't think he would ever come out and say it."

"Well, he did."

"And what did you say?"

Ron looked around uncomfortably. "I said I liked you."

"That's all?"

"Er, pretty much. I told him I was sorry."

"Hmm." Hermione bit her lip. "How'd he take it?"

"Pretty well, I think. Just now he seemed okay. Even smiled."

"Smiled?" She sounded incredulous.

"Yeah."

"He hasn't smiled in months, probably," she said.

"I know," said Ron.

"I hope he hasn't decided to kill himself," said Hermione slowly.

"What!?"

"Sometimes when people cheer up after a long period of depression, it's because they've made up their minds to off themselves."

Ron stared at her.

She turned around and called to Lucia, who had been sitting with Ginny.

"Yeah?" said Lucia, walking over.

"Do you think Harry's a suicide risk?" Hermione asked, sounding like Madame Pomfrey.

Lucia shook her head emphatically. "Definitely not. Whatever else he does, he'll never kill himself. At least not until Tom's safely gone."

Hermione paled.

"Hang on," said Ron. "You mean Harry thinks it's his responsibility to kill You-Know-Who?"

Lucia nodded. "That's what he thinks."

"Is he mad?" whispered Hermione.

"Probably," said Lucia cheerfully.

"Somehow I'm not reassured," said Ron.

Lucia shrugged. "There's nothing wrong with being mad."

"Is he going to go and try to kill Voldemort himself?" said Hermione worriedly. "Because that would be really stupid."

"No, I don't think he would do that," said Lucia. "He doesn't really want to fight. He's scared."

Ron's stomach turned again. Sick with fear, he unconsciously grabbed Hermione's hand.

"It's good that he's scared," said Hermione shakily. "I'm glad he doesn't want to fight!"

Lucia nodded.

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Monday was Potions time again. Harry, Hermione, and Lucia sat together for once. Harry was trying very hard to be civil to Hermione for Ron's sake, despite the fact that he wanted to kill her, again for Ron's sake (if it weren't for her, wouldn't Ron be with Harry right now?).

Draco nodded slightly towards Lucia at the beginning of class, and flashed Harry a dirty look, a sign things were beginning to go back to normal. If Snape was still thinking of Harry's last Potion's class, he gave no indication of it. Instead, he set them about making a paralyzing potion.

Hermione frowned as Lucia expertly diced some wormwood, the first ingredient. Harry knew that, though she would never admit it, it bothered her that she was no longer the best. Harry got some small satisfaction in seeing her lose for once. Of course, she'd won where it was important, with Ron... No, Harry shook his head. He mustn't get distracted or he would give the potion too much heat or too little seagrass and it might become poisonous.

"Watch it, Malfoy," said Snape, and both Lucia and Draco looked up. It was Draco he had been addressing, apparently, because he waved his wand and all the blond boy's potion disappeared.

"Start over," said Snape, "and this time, get it right."

Draco flushed in anger, and set about preparing his ingredients once more.

Harry had to hold back a smile, remembering all the times something similar or worse had happened to him in Potions class and Draco had laughed at him. Lucia looked miffed. She started chopping her lizard's hearts with more vigour than was probably required, and practically threw them into the cauldron.

Harry's scar hurt. It had, of course, twinged on and off all summer, but it was growing more persistent. He hoped he wasn't in for more sessions of being invaded by Voldemort. Supposedly Dumbledore's spell at the Ministry of Magic last year had broken the connection, but Harry wondered what there was to stop Voldemort from reaching him again.

Of course, thought Harry, maybe he wasn't having visions because Snape wasn't prodding his mind every week.

At breakfast that morning there had been more deaths reported in the Muggle papers. The Daily Prophet remained silent through the growing chaos of Muggle politics. Hermione insisted it was important, and Harry knew she was right. He just didn't really want to believe any of it. The task before him was growing larger all the time. He had not really planned on being responsible for all those Muggles. How many would die as he stayed here trying to get a grip on himself?

"Harry," said Lucia, "You're going to blow up the school if you keep adding those urchin spines."

"Oh," said Harry, coming to his senses. "Right."

"Voldemort is like Hitler, isn't he?" said Hermione suddenly.

Harry frowned. "Where did that come from?"

"I was thinking about the last time Britain has been in so much trouble..."

"Hitler's the Jew guy, right?" said Lucia.

"If by 'Jew guy' you mean the man who slaughtered six million of them, then yes," said Hermione.

Lucia nodded. "They talk about him all the time in Germany. The Muggles do, I mean."

"You think Voldemort is going to set up concentration camps for Muggles?" asked Harry.

"I don't think he needs to," said Hermione. "The only reason Hitler did was because shooting them wasn't efficient enough."

Harry shivered in the heat.

"My father's in favor of extermination," said Lucia idly. "I used to be, too."

Hermione gazed at Lucia with an odd expression on her face.

"Let's talk about something else, can't we?" said Harry desperately.

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Ron was waiting in the dormitory for them, having apparently just gotten up.

"There's a letter come for Harry," he said. "It didn't come with the post because it's from Lupin."

Harry took the letter. They were all watching him, so he opened it and scanned the first lines.

He looked up. "They printed my address?"

Hermione paled. "We didn't want to worry you," she said.

Harry frowned and returned to the letter:

Dear Harry,

We know you're having a time of it, but hang in there. I'm writing regarding certain developments in the papers. The Prophet has stopped reporting altogether, thought this didn't stop them reporting your address for anyone to read, I see. If you've been watching the Muggle papers you'll know they've got their own war coming. Also, your father's favorite slimeball has gotten himself in a scrape, as I'm sure you've noticed. Don't worry, he's fine. One of ours has fallen, though you didn't know him. We are recovering, and there's no need for you to be concerned.

Dumbledore told you about the Bones', I know, but I wanted to add that you should feel proud of how Susan defended herself.

I must go, but I want to know what exactly you want us to do with this house, and this elf. Write back as soon as you can,

-Remus Lupin

"I don't even know what all that means," said Harry, showing the letter to the others.

Lucia looked away politely. "Should I leave?" she asked.

"I don't know," said Harry, "Are you going to go snitching to your father?"

"What do you think? Of course not."

"Then I reckon you can stay." Harry glared at Ron and Hermione, daring them to protest. They exchanges nervous glances, but made no motion to counter him.

"I like the way he talks about Snape," said Ron, grinning.

Lucia's eyes widened.

"I don't," said Harry shortly. The mention of his father and Snape together just conjured the picture of fifteen-year-old James dangling Severus upside down.

"He could have chosen a better way to get at who he meant," said Hermione.

"Does this mean someone's died? 'One of ours has fallen'..."

"What else would it mean, Ron?" snapped Hermione.

"And 'we're recovering'. Weird."

"Yeah," said Harry. "You'd think if he really didn't want me to be concerned, he wouldn't have said that."

"So," said Hermione, "I was right, you didn't read the letters Dumbledore wrote you over the summer."

"What?" said Harry, blushing a bit out of guilt.

"Right here, it says Dumbledore wrote you about Susan Bones. But you didn't know before Smith told you."

"That's true," Harry admitted. "I'm still angry with him."

"Well, you'd better get over it," said Hermione. "And I take it that means you don't know what he's talking about with 'this house'?"

"Exactly," said Harry. "How should I tell them what to do with it?"

"It's your house, mate," said Ron.

"What?"

"Sirius left it to you," said Hermione. Lucia let out an audible gasp, then stifled it.

Harry stood still for a moment. "I should have expected that," he said.

"Yes," said Hermione. "He left you all the family money as well."

"Why?" said Harry, "I don't want it."

"It's money," said Ron.

"It's dirty money," said Harry. "He hated them. He hated that house, too." Harry's voice was getting huskier, and he had to swallow several times before he could continue. "I don't want it," he repeated.

"Well, It's yours," said Ron. "And the house is, well, you know."

Harry nodded. "So what does it mean when he asks me what to do with it?"

"He probably wants to know if it's okay that they keep using it," said Hermione.

"Well, of course it is," said Harry irritably, "What do they think I'd use it for?"

Hermione shrugged.

"And this elf," Harry went on, "I suppose that means Kreacher?"

"That's my guess."

"I can't believe they haven't killed him already," said Harry hotly.

Hermione stared at him.

"He lied to me, Hermione! If he'd told me the truth, I wouldn't have gone to the Department of Mysteries, and Sirius would still be alive!" Harry half-shouted at her.

Hermione shook her head but said nothing.

"So, what are you going to tell them to do with him?" asked Ron.

"I dunno," said Harry slowly. "There's not much they can do but lock him up or kill him."

Hermione made a sudden movement.

"Alright," said Harry, "I'll tell them to lock him up. Happy?"

Hermione shook her head again, sighing.

"I'm going upstairs," said Harry, taking the letter back.

"What did you do with the letters from Dumbledore?" asked Hermione, as he turned to leave. "Because if you still have them, I suggest you read them."

Harry knew she was right, as usual, but the last thing he wanted to do right now was admit it, so he merely continued towards the dormitory as if he hadn't heard her.

He did hear, however, as Lucia followed behind him. After all, someone had to be on Harry-watch all the time, and Lucia was the least vulnerable to his moods.

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