Your Guide to a Better Chibiusa, a sailor moon fanfic

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi and don't shoot… I am not trying to make money off anything.

Author's Note: Hey you! Before you proceed to flame me and criticise me for my criticism of the Anime artists, I wrote this for fun ONLY. Nothing serious, so don't start pelting me with stones like you did for Chibiusa. If you don't have an open mind, then don't read this. But if you like it or think I'm praiseworthy (haha), I'll love you forever if you review. Thanks! :)

Your Guide to a Better Chibiusa

By: Chibiusa Chiba AKA Usagi, Rabbit of the Moon, Princess Serenity XXXX of Crystal Tokyo

Hi, my name is Chibiusa, but I'm sure you already know that. Before Sailormoon fans start pelting me with stones, let me explain myself, and what I am here for. I know many people in the SM Fandom loathe me, and simply wish I would a) stab myself to death b) jump off a cliff or c) choke on my own pink hair. The mere suggestion of this makes me cry, even though I never show it to the public. Mum never allows me to do so, because according to her, it is 'not a ladylike behaviour to do so'. But like every other 900-year-old child, I weep because I have no real friends except for my teddies and I am horribly abused by my mother who practises witchcraft and lives in a cottage made of candy –

I'm not supposed to digress though, because it's not a ladylike thing to do so.

Anyway, the main reason why I am here, aside from the fact that I want to try the new computer network and show off my profound intelligence, is because I want to tell the world my story. How the anime artists have portrayed me to be a lesser human being, dirt of mankind, a counterproductive proletariat of all Homo sapiens, which I assure you, I most definitely am not. I was perturbed by all the negative attention I was getting, and my counsellor suggested unleashing all these pent-up energy through writing… although it's more of a rant. And so here I am. READY TO FACE THE WORLD.

(And because I believe I have more fans than enemies, I have turned this into a Q&A session rather than a rumour-fact ramble…it's kind of depressing answering my own questions. I like to live in the delusion that people are actually asking me questions, instead of me spending my time talking to pixels that will reply as fast as the next 901-year-old teddy bear.)

Q: Is it true that you are a whiny, no-good, snotty 900-year-old brat?

A: My goodness, I resent that. OF COURSE NOT, YOU IDIOTIC F—ahem. Not. Ladylike. At. All.

Actually, that is one of the most annoying misconceptions so far. I do believe that is one of the main reasons why SM fans wish for my death. I have watched the Anime version of me, and I cannot blame the whole lot of you. In the Anime, I appear to be some sort of a freak…someonewho argues with Usagi at every opportunity, who steals Usagi's share of the chocolate cake, who shows off her perfect grades and basically, who acts in every way the spoiled child. But believe it or not, all these are false exaggerations of who I really am.

Admittedly, I can be a little spoiled at times. Yet so can everyone else, if they were brought up under the wings of the King and Queen of Crystal Tokyo. Although I am 900-year-old, I still have the mindset of a child, and this mindset becomes more pronounced when I am around my parents – Usagi and Mamoru. Which 8-year-old child is the perfect angel when with his or her parents? I love my Mum to death, which is the reason why I often misbehave around her. The past Usagi is less rigid with things, and I tend to show that little, unladylike side of me to her – the side I kept hidden away from the public, the side I can never show to my future parents. Because after all, Mum's personality when she was 15-year-old is just like mine – a little immature, a little playful and a little on the wild side.

That being said, I am upset to see that the Anime artists have so conveniently left out the mature side of me and MAGNIFIED my wild nature. Anime Me appears to be some sort of a savage creature, some untamed horse… some juvenile delinquent (ooh big words! Mum will be proud). I AM NOT LIKE THAT. I know it can seem a little hard to believe, but as a princess, I have my own fears and insecurities. How is it like to be in the body of a child for 900 years? To never be able to experience the joys of adulthood? To be forever treated as a child? I am insecure about who I am. I am afraid I won't live up to the expectations of so many people, mostly, my parents. I am afraid I cannot develop into a lady like my Mum, or have the gentle nature like my Dad. I am afraid of how people perceive me, and how the world views me.

All these insecurities have shaped me into the occasional maturity, just like fighting evil has shaped Usagi into an outstanding fighter. Believe it or not, I am just like Usagi, albeit smaller in size.

Q: Is it true that you have a major crush on Mamoru? YOU KNOW HE'S YOUR DAD, RIGHT?!

A: Of course I know he's my Dad, you silly nitwit. I do have a crush on Mamoru, just not the kind you think. I don't love him as a lover; I love him as my Dad, my good old Daddy-O. In the future, I don't get to see the playful side of Mamo-chan as much as I see in the past. That makes me warm up to the past Mamo-chan more easily, especially when he accommodates my needs more than the past Usagi does. It's true that sometimes I wish I could be as ahem, developed as Usagi so that Mamo-chan can look at me in a different light… but those are all the fantasies of a child wanting to impress her Daddy! I know my thoughts and behaviour can seem a little demented sometimes. However, you have to remember that every child gets deluded once in a while, and being a princess does not exempt me from that.

It's just sad that the Anime artists fail to see my point of view. I do not fight with Usagi THAT MUCH over Mamoru. I am not that childish. Honestly! Here I am, trying to suppress the urge to roll my eyes because it's not a ladylike thing to do so. Once again, Anime has magnified all the bad qualities of my personality. I do give my parents personal space you know.

Q: You look horrible!! Why are you so damn pink?!

A: Ehh… maybe you should ask Mars why she is so damn red, or Mercury why she's so damn blue, or Jupiter why she's so damn green. I know I know… red or blue or green aren't such bad colours. To answer your question, let's just say that I got the worse end of the deal. It's bad enough having pink hair, but a pink fuku just sweetens the deal, doesn't it?

But… pardon me while I weep for the loss of my true image… those damn Anime Artists amplified my pink image overall.

For a start, I do not have shocking pink hair. My hair is more of a very light shade of pink, with hints of silver here and there. It is not that dark, or that bright. What maddens me is that my Anime attacks are always so useless, like that crappy "Pink Heart Sugar Attack" which does nothing but annoys my opponents. Believe it or not, I have powers too, powers that definitely DO NOT consist of cute music and whimsical hearts.

Oh well, I think I have ranted enough about this. It's getting me depressed all over again. I hope I have cleared any doubts about myself, even though I'm sure that there will still be many out there who would jump at the chance at butchering me. Don't get me started all over again; digressing is not good for a lady-to-be.

But on the bright side, there is one person who has captured my personality so well I swear I'll worship her forever. Not only has she brought out the good side of me, she has also showed my insecurities vividly. Under her pencil, I have become a person… and not just an Anime character for little children to laugh at.

Who is she? You may ask. She is the wonderful Naoko Takeuchi, the creator of a comic series, affectionately known as Sailormoon Manga, but is, in actual fact, called Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon.

Go check it out, if you haven't already.