Many thanks to everyone responsible for giving me inspiration, confidence, and yes, even death
threats. ...Stef & Lelu... Also, many many thanks to the ladies in the chat room who were kind
enough to be my last minute betas.
Love is Never Silent 7/7
by Elysia
rated PG
"Mamoru-san, it's good to see you."
"How are you holding up, Ikuko-san? I know these past few weeks have been difficult for you."
Ikuko nodded solemnly at the young man at the door. "Some days I don't know what to do with
myself. I've cleaned this house from top to bottom so much that there's nothing left to clean. I was
so used to devoting my time to Shingo that I feel useless without something to occupy my time."
Mamoru gazed silently at the tiny yet strong woman. She had already been through so much.
"And what of your husband?"
"Kenji doesn't change. He puts long hours in at work and comes home late as usual. But
something has changed recently, and I only started to notice it. He isn't as cross as he used to be.
But he doesn't really speak much either. I know things will never be the same with all of us."
Laying a gentle hand on Ikuko's shoulder, Mamoru replied, "No, things won't be the same
because you can never forget Shingo. You shouldn't forget him. But life has to go on eventually."
Ikuko's eyes welled up with tears. "How did you ever learn to be so strong, Mamoru-san?"
He smiled sadly. "I've lost important people in my life too, but that doesn't mean I have to dwell in
the past forever." Glancing up at the stairs, he asked, "Is Usagi-chan home?"
She nodded. "She finally started going back to school these past few days, but she doesn't stay
out with her friends like she used to. I'm starting to worry about her."
"Would it be all right if I went up and talked to her?"
Ikuko put on a brave smile. "I was hoping you would. You seem to be the only one to get
through to her." She ushered Mamoru up the stairs, hoping that all would be right with her
daughter soon.
"Usagi-chan?" Mamoru called out while tapping on her door. When he received no answer, he
leaned on the handle and surprisingly found the door slightly ajar. He slipped into the room and
quietly observed his surroundings. The room was decorated in mostly pink, a little too pink for his
tastes, but it seemed to suit Usagi perfectly.
She sat on the window seat, a pillow between her hands and her gaze fixed somewhere outside.
She didn't seem to acknowledge Mamoru's presence at all.
"Usagi-chan?" he repeated, hoping for some sort of answer. She didn't look at him.
"It stopped raining," came her reply. At first Mamoru didn't understand. "It stopped this morning,
but the sun hasn't come out yet."
"It's not ready to show its warmth after pouring out all those tears."
Mamoru sighed and leaned on Usagi's bed. "Look, Usagi-chan, I know this is a very hard time
for you, and I know how--"
She only clutched the pillow tighter. "Don't you dare. Don't even say it," she cut him off. "When I
went to school today, the news had finally gotten around and all I got were looks of pity. People
who were brave enough to approach me said those same words, 'I know how you feel.' I don't
want to hear that from you. I can't stand to hear those words from someone who has no idea
how I feel. I stood there and watched him be put into that dark hole in the ground. Do you know
how hard it was to do that?"
"Not first hand, but I watched it happen. I was at the funeral, Usagi-chan. As Shingo's friend I felt
I had a right to be there. So I do know how you feel, Usagi-chan," he shot back.
"He was my brother, my best friend!" she burst out. "I took care of him from the day he was born
and you only knew him for a matter of months. How can you say you know how I feel?"
In a moment of fury, Mamoru stormed over to Usagi and wrenched the pillow from her hands.
She looked up at him with widened eyes. "You don't know the first thing about me either,
Usagi-chan. You're not the only one who's ever lost a loved one, so don't accuse me of not
knowing how it feels. You can't sit here for the rest of your life feeling sorry for yourself." He
dropped the pillow to the floor. "You have no idea how much it hurts to lose the only people
who have ever loved you. And if that's not good enough, losing all your memories of their
love is even more heartbreaking. So don't go accusing me of having no feelings, because I've
lost more than you ever have."
Usagi just stared at him, and Mamoru ran a hand through his hair, embarrassed at his outburst. "I
lost Shingo too. But I can't lose you."
"How can you lose something you never had?"
Mamoru reeled from her reply. "How can you say that, Usagi-chan? I thought after all we've
been through together, you would at least consider us friends, if not something more."
"More?"
"Didn't that day at the arcade mean anything to you?"
Usagi turned her gaze back outside again. "We were both caught up in the moment,
Mamoru-san. I don't think either of us meant what happened that day."
Suddenly Mamoru kneeled on the window seat, much to Usagi's surprise. When she tried to look
away, he caught her face between his hands and forced her to look at him. "I don't believe that
for one minute, Tsukino Usagi," he hissed lowly. "Look me in the eye and tell me that day meant
nothing to you."
"I--" She stared at him intently and tears came to her eyes, but no words left her lips. Eyes
shining, she whispered, "I thought I could, but I'd be lying to myself. Why do you always have to
be right, Mamoru-san?"
He cracked a smile. "Must be one of my better qualities." A giggle escaped from Usagi, the most
wonderful sound Mamoru had heard in a long time. Gathering Usagi into a fierce embrace, he
choked back a sob, somewhat surprised that his emotions were getting the better of him. "This is
what I meant by losing you, Usagi. If I never heard your sweet laughter or saw your beautiful
smile again, I don't know what I'd do."
Usagi bit her lip, fighting back the tears. "How is it that you notice the things no one else ever
does?"
Fingering her silky blond strands, Mamoru brought his other hand up to wipe away the few tears
that had escaped from her eyes. "I told you once you needed to cry more often." Usagi's face
crumpled and she rushed back into Mamoru's arms, burying her face in his shirt. He held her
tightly as sobs racked her entire body, releasing all her pain and sorrow.
He held onto her tightly and stroked her long hair as she cried. "I hate it when you shut me out,
Usa," he murmured. "I feel so helpless when you don't talk to me."
"I never really depended on someone before," she replied in between sobs. "Everyone always
depended on me to pull through whatever came along. I had to be strong, even in front of my
friends. You were the first one to notice that something was different. Why?"
Mamoru ran a hand through his thick dark hair. "You're not the only one to ever have problems,
Usa. I lost both my parents when I was very young. The former Chiba Mamoru died that day,
and from then on I had to learn how to survive all alone. You're lucky you have a loving family to
support you, even if times are difficult right now."
He sighed softly, placing a hand alongside Usagi's delicate face. "When I saw you that night at the
bridge, it was if I was seeing a completely different Usagi-chan, not the usual Odango I was so
used to teasing. I suddenly became more aware of you. I can't really explain it."
Tears trickled down her cheeks again. "Mamoru-san... I don't know how you did it, but you
know my thoughts and my dreams. You know my heart."
His face broke into a big grin. "I've wanted to hear something like that from you for the longest
time," he replied, pulling Usagi tightly into his embrace. She snuggled against his neck and he
could feel her warm breath tickle his skin. The emotions buried deep inside began to set him on
fire. How could one girl do so much to him?
Pulling back slightly, Mamoru gazed longingly at Usagi, memorizing every feature of her face. She
stared at him quizzically. "Is something the matter?"
He said nothing, just continued to stare at her. "Forgive me Usa, but if I don't do this now, then
I'll never get the courage to do it again."
"Do wha--" but her words were cut off by Mamoru leaning in and covering her sweet lips with his
own. This was different than the day at the arcade, and Mamoru knew it. That day something
strange had come over the both of them, like Usagi said. But today, Mamoru was sure of
everything. He knew exactly what he wanted, and this time, he planned on getting it.
Suddenly Usagi pulled away, her eyes filled with uncertainty. "Why did you do that,
Mamoru-san?" For a moment he was disappointed. Could she possibly not want any of his
affections after all? Was he reading into this more than she was? "Sorry, Usa-chan," he mumbled
sadly. I just thought that--"
She cut him off by placing her hand over his mouth and looking him squarely in the eye. "Don't
kiss me unless you mean it," she whispered slyly and leaned up to kiss him back fully.
Disappointment was the farthest thing from Mamoru's mind as Usagi's soul slammed into his,
feeling every ounce of emotion and passion that she poured into him. And at that same moment,
with the little golden child in his arms and she being the one to kiss the life out of him, he had
never felt more complete.
"Are you sure you're ready to do this, Usa?"
Usagi grinned as she walked along the path with Mamoru. "It's time I pay my little brother a fitting
tribute, don't you think? And who better to join me than everyone I love the most?"
Mamoru slipped an arm around her and smiled. "I can't think of anything better."
As they reached the middle of the park, Usagi turned around to face the four other girls walking
closely behind and started to announce her plans. "I asked you to come with me today in order
for me to help celebrate the life of a very important person to me. Even though most of you never
really got to know Shingo, you at least know how much he meant to me. And today, I'm going to
let him know that I care."
She dropped the bag she had been carrying on her shoulder, opened it, and handed each person
a baseball glove. "Today's game is all for Shingo."
Minako looked down at her glove, then back at Usagi. "So it doesn't matter if we're completely
and utterly uncoordinated at certain sports? Volleyball is my area, not baseball."
The other girls giggled. "Don't worry, Minako-chan," Ami assured her. "We're not playing to
win this time."
"Thanks, everyone," Usagi replied softly. "This really means a lot to me." Mamoru put his arms
around Usagi to comfort her.
Makoto noticed this and pointed it out. "Ne, when did you two get so friendly?"
Usagi blushed deeply. "Ehhh, we'll talk about that later. We're here to have fun!" The others
cheered and spread out on the field.
Mamoru moved to take his position as catcher, but Usagi caught his arm before he got too far
away. "I want you to have this glove, Mamo-chan," she whispered softly.
He looked at the glove she held out to him. "But this is Shingo's glove."
"I know. That's why I want you to use it. He really looked up to you."
He fingered the well-oiled mitt gently, then looked back at Usagi and smiled. "I think I looked up
to him more than he did me." He ran a hand through one of Usagi's ponytails, then bent over and
kissed her cheek. She blushed deeply again. "Mamo-chan..."
"Will you two quit your schmacking and start the game?" came a voice from center field and the
others laughed loudly. Usagi stepped up to the pitcher's mound and Mamoru took his place as
catcher. "This one is for Shingo," he mouthed and Usagi nodded. She drew her arm back and
prepared to throw the first pitch.
Sometime during the fourth 'inning,' Mamoru stretched his long, lanky body and happened to turn
towards the bleachers. Noticing a person leaning over on the other end of the stands, he squinted
to see who it was. Suddenly, his eyes widened. "Usa-chan!" He yelled to get her attention.
Usagi whipped around at the sound of Mamoru's voice, and she jogged over to where he was
standing. "What is it, Mamo-chan?"
Pointing over to the bleachers, Mamoru showed her the person sitting alone at the top. "Is that
who I think it is?" Usagi squinted. Then she grinned and broke into a run, yelling "PAPA!" at the
top of her lungs. Mamoru sprinted after her, wanting to know what was going on.
Kenji made his way down from the bleachers as Usagi and Mamoru caught up to him. "Papa,
shouldn't you be at work? What are you doing all the way over here?"
He stared at his daughter, then sighed deeply. "I... that is, your mother... she told me you were
over here and what you were doing. I thought about it and... well, I... I wanted to be part of it."
Usagi's mouth dropped open and Mamoru just stared at the forlorn looking man. "Do you really
mean that, Papa?"
Kenji hesitated momentarily, then nodded. "Shingo was my son. I want to pay tribute to him too."
Usagi burst into tears and flung her arms around her father, and to her surprise he returned the
gesture. "Thank you, Papa. Shingo would be very proud of you right now."
Taking her father's hand in hers, then grabbing Mamoru's hand with her other, the three of them
walked back towards the field to continue their loving tribute to their son, brother and friend.
Owari...
brainstormed October 1999
completed February 2001
threats. ...Stef & Lelu... Also, many many thanks to the ladies in the chat room who were kind
enough to be my last minute betas.
Love is Never Silent 7/7
by Elysia
rated PG
"Mamoru-san, it's good to see you."
"How are you holding up, Ikuko-san? I know these past few weeks have been difficult for you."
Ikuko nodded solemnly at the young man at the door. "Some days I don't know what to do with
myself. I've cleaned this house from top to bottom so much that there's nothing left to clean. I was
so used to devoting my time to Shingo that I feel useless without something to occupy my time."
Mamoru gazed silently at the tiny yet strong woman. She had already been through so much.
"And what of your husband?"
"Kenji doesn't change. He puts long hours in at work and comes home late as usual. But
something has changed recently, and I only started to notice it. He isn't as cross as he used to be.
But he doesn't really speak much either. I know things will never be the same with all of us."
Laying a gentle hand on Ikuko's shoulder, Mamoru replied, "No, things won't be the same
because you can never forget Shingo. You shouldn't forget him. But life has to go on eventually."
Ikuko's eyes welled up with tears. "How did you ever learn to be so strong, Mamoru-san?"
He smiled sadly. "I've lost important people in my life too, but that doesn't mean I have to dwell in
the past forever." Glancing up at the stairs, he asked, "Is Usagi-chan home?"
She nodded. "She finally started going back to school these past few days, but she doesn't stay
out with her friends like she used to. I'm starting to worry about her."
"Would it be all right if I went up and talked to her?"
Ikuko put on a brave smile. "I was hoping you would. You seem to be the only one to get
through to her." She ushered Mamoru up the stairs, hoping that all would be right with her
daughter soon.
"Usagi-chan?" Mamoru called out while tapping on her door. When he received no answer, he
leaned on the handle and surprisingly found the door slightly ajar. He slipped into the room and
quietly observed his surroundings. The room was decorated in mostly pink, a little too pink for his
tastes, but it seemed to suit Usagi perfectly.
She sat on the window seat, a pillow between her hands and her gaze fixed somewhere outside.
She didn't seem to acknowledge Mamoru's presence at all.
"Usagi-chan?" he repeated, hoping for some sort of answer. She didn't look at him.
"It stopped raining," came her reply. At first Mamoru didn't understand. "It stopped this morning,
but the sun hasn't come out yet."
"It's not ready to show its warmth after pouring out all those tears."
Mamoru sighed and leaned on Usagi's bed. "Look, Usagi-chan, I know this is a very hard time
for you, and I know how--"
She only clutched the pillow tighter. "Don't you dare. Don't even say it," she cut him off. "When I
went to school today, the news had finally gotten around and all I got were looks of pity. People
who were brave enough to approach me said those same words, 'I know how you feel.' I don't
want to hear that from you. I can't stand to hear those words from someone who has no idea
how I feel. I stood there and watched him be put into that dark hole in the ground. Do you know
how hard it was to do that?"
"Not first hand, but I watched it happen. I was at the funeral, Usagi-chan. As Shingo's friend I felt
I had a right to be there. So I do know how you feel, Usagi-chan," he shot back.
"He was my brother, my best friend!" she burst out. "I took care of him from the day he was born
and you only knew him for a matter of months. How can you say you know how I feel?"
In a moment of fury, Mamoru stormed over to Usagi and wrenched the pillow from her hands.
She looked up at him with widened eyes. "You don't know the first thing about me either,
Usagi-chan. You're not the only one who's ever lost a loved one, so don't accuse me of not
knowing how it feels. You can't sit here for the rest of your life feeling sorry for yourself." He
dropped the pillow to the floor. "You have no idea how much it hurts to lose the only people
who have ever loved you. And if that's not good enough, losing all your memories of their
love is even more heartbreaking. So don't go accusing me of having no feelings, because I've
lost more than you ever have."
Usagi just stared at him, and Mamoru ran a hand through his hair, embarrassed at his outburst. "I
lost Shingo too. But I can't lose you."
"How can you lose something you never had?"
Mamoru reeled from her reply. "How can you say that, Usagi-chan? I thought after all we've
been through together, you would at least consider us friends, if not something more."
"More?"
"Didn't that day at the arcade mean anything to you?"
Usagi turned her gaze back outside again. "We were both caught up in the moment,
Mamoru-san. I don't think either of us meant what happened that day."
Suddenly Mamoru kneeled on the window seat, much to Usagi's surprise. When she tried to look
away, he caught her face between his hands and forced her to look at him. "I don't believe that
for one minute, Tsukino Usagi," he hissed lowly. "Look me in the eye and tell me that day meant
nothing to you."
"I--" She stared at him intently and tears came to her eyes, but no words left her lips. Eyes
shining, she whispered, "I thought I could, but I'd be lying to myself. Why do you always have to
be right, Mamoru-san?"
He cracked a smile. "Must be one of my better qualities." A giggle escaped from Usagi, the most
wonderful sound Mamoru had heard in a long time. Gathering Usagi into a fierce embrace, he
choked back a sob, somewhat surprised that his emotions were getting the better of him. "This is
what I meant by losing you, Usagi. If I never heard your sweet laughter or saw your beautiful
smile again, I don't know what I'd do."
Usagi bit her lip, fighting back the tears. "How is it that you notice the things no one else ever
does?"
Fingering her silky blond strands, Mamoru brought his other hand up to wipe away the few tears
that had escaped from her eyes. "I told you once you needed to cry more often." Usagi's face
crumpled and she rushed back into Mamoru's arms, burying her face in his shirt. He held her
tightly as sobs racked her entire body, releasing all her pain and sorrow.
He held onto her tightly and stroked her long hair as she cried. "I hate it when you shut me out,
Usa," he murmured. "I feel so helpless when you don't talk to me."
"I never really depended on someone before," she replied in between sobs. "Everyone always
depended on me to pull through whatever came along. I had to be strong, even in front of my
friends. You were the first one to notice that something was different. Why?"
Mamoru ran a hand through his thick dark hair. "You're not the only one to ever have problems,
Usa. I lost both my parents when I was very young. The former Chiba Mamoru died that day,
and from then on I had to learn how to survive all alone. You're lucky you have a loving family to
support you, even if times are difficult right now."
He sighed softly, placing a hand alongside Usagi's delicate face. "When I saw you that night at the
bridge, it was if I was seeing a completely different Usagi-chan, not the usual Odango I was so
used to teasing. I suddenly became more aware of you. I can't really explain it."
Tears trickled down her cheeks again. "Mamoru-san... I don't know how you did it, but you
know my thoughts and my dreams. You know my heart."
His face broke into a big grin. "I've wanted to hear something like that from you for the longest
time," he replied, pulling Usagi tightly into his embrace. She snuggled against his neck and he
could feel her warm breath tickle his skin. The emotions buried deep inside began to set him on
fire. How could one girl do so much to him?
Pulling back slightly, Mamoru gazed longingly at Usagi, memorizing every feature of her face. She
stared at him quizzically. "Is something the matter?"
He said nothing, just continued to stare at her. "Forgive me Usa, but if I don't do this now, then
I'll never get the courage to do it again."
"Do wha--" but her words were cut off by Mamoru leaning in and covering her sweet lips with his
own. This was different than the day at the arcade, and Mamoru knew it. That day something
strange had come over the both of them, like Usagi said. But today, Mamoru was sure of
everything. He knew exactly what he wanted, and this time, he planned on getting it.
Suddenly Usagi pulled away, her eyes filled with uncertainty. "Why did you do that,
Mamoru-san?" For a moment he was disappointed. Could she possibly not want any of his
affections after all? Was he reading into this more than she was? "Sorry, Usa-chan," he mumbled
sadly. I just thought that--"
She cut him off by placing her hand over his mouth and looking him squarely in the eye. "Don't
kiss me unless you mean it," she whispered slyly and leaned up to kiss him back fully.
Disappointment was the farthest thing from Mamoru's mind as Usagi's soul slammed into his,
feeling every ounce of emotion and passion that she poured into him. And at that same moment,
with the little golden child in his arms and she being the one to kiss the life out of him, he had
never felt more complete.
"Are you sure you're ready to do this, Usa?"
Usagi grinned as she walked along the path with Mamoru. "It's time I pay my little brother a fitting
tribute, don't you think? And who better to join me than everyone I love the most?"
Mamoru slipped an arm around her and smiled. "I can't think of anything better."
As they reached the middle of the park, Usagi turned around to face the four other girls walking
closely behind and started to announce her plans. "I asked you to come with me today in order
for me to help celebrate the life of a very important person to me. Even though most of you never
really got to know Shingo, you at least know how much he meant to me. And today, I'm going to
let him know that I care."
She dropped the bag she had been carrying on her shoulder, opened it, and handed each person
a baseball glove. "Today's game is all for Shingo."
Minako looked down at her glove, then back at Usagi. "So it doesn't matter if we're completely
and utterly uncoordinated at certain sports? Volleyball is my area, not baseball."
The other girls giggled. "Don't worry, Minako-chan," Ami assured her. "We're not playing to
win this time."
"Thanks, everyone," Usagi replied softly. "This really means a lot to me." Mamoru put his arms
around Usagi to comfort her.
Makoto noticed this and pointed it out. "Ne, when did you two get so friendly?"
Usagi blushed deeply. "Ehhh, we'll talk about that later. We're here to have fun!" The others
cheered and spread out on the field.
Mamoru moved to take his position as catcher, but Usagi caught his arm before he got too far
away. "I want you to have this glove, Mamo-chan," she whispered softly.
He looked at the glove she held out to him. "But this is Shingo's glove."
"I know. That's why I want you to use it. He really looked up to you."
He fingered the well-oiled mitt gently, then looked back at Usagi and smiled. "I think I looked up
to him more than he did me." He ran a hand through one of Usagi's ponytails, then bent over and
kissed her cheek. She blushed deeply again. "Mamo-chan..."
"Will you two quit your schmacking and start the game?" came a voice from center field and the
others laughed loudly. Usagi stepped up to the pitcher's mound and Mamoru took his place as
catcher. "This one is for Shingo," he mouthed and Usagi nodded. She drew her arm back and
prepared to throw the first pitch.
Sometime during the fourth 'inning,' Mamoru stretched his long, lanky body and happened to turn
towards the bleachers. Noticing a person leaning over on the other end of the stands, he squinted
to see who it was. Suddenly, his eyes widened. "Usa-chan!" He yelled to get her attention.
Usagi whipped around at the sound of Mamoru's voice, and she jogged over to where he was
standing. "What is it, Mamo-chan?"
Pointing over to the bleachers, Mamoru showed her the person sitting alone at the top. "Is that
who I think it is?" Usagi squinted. Then she grinned and broke into a run, yelling "PAPA!" at the
top of her lungs. Mamoru sprinted after her, wanting to know what was going on.
Kenji made his way down from the bleachers as Usagi and Mamoru caught up to him. "Papa,
shouldn't you be at work? What are you doing all the way over here?"
He stared at his daughter, then sighed deeply. "I... that is, your mother... she told me you were
over here and what you were doing. I thought about it and... well, I... I wanted to be part of it."
Usagi's mouth dropped open and Mamoru just stared at the forlorn looking man. "Do you really
mean that, Papa?"
Kenji hesitated momentarily, then nodded. "Shingo was my son. I want to pay tribute to him too."
Usagi burst into tears and flung her arms around her father, and to her surprise he returned the
gesture. "Thank you, Papa. Shingo would be very proud of you right now."
Taking her father's hand in hers, then grabbing Mamoru's hand with her other, the three of them
walked back towards the field to continue their loving tribute to their son, brother and friend.
Owari...
brainstormed October 1999
completed February 2001