Hey there!!! Here's my first Song fic that i have ever written in my life...there will be more to follow. Just a thought::: I DON'T INUYASHA, THOUGH I WISH I DID...:D so yah... plz review after you read! thanx!!!!
What Do I Do Now?
How could I have been so stupid?! Trusting him like that? With everything I had?! I thought as I slowly backed away from the clearing. How many times have I seen him do this? How many times have I simply brushed it off, as if it were nothing to worry about? A tear slid down my cheek. There was a crack under my left foot, I looked down. Damn! I had stepped on a twig. Now he knows, damn it! As I looked up, I saw him pull away from her, from it. That walking ball of play-doh! I can't believe he'd actually... ARUGH!!! Just thinking about is triggers the waterworks.
"Kagome" I saw him mouth towards me. At least I thought he mouthed it, he could've said it out loud, but I didn't hear. The blood rushing to my head blocked in out. I couldn't take anymore of this, so I turned and did the only thing I could do. I ran.
I'm so tired of being hereSuppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I was afraid this might happen; all of my patience would run out. Each night my mind was racked with things like Inuyasha going back to Kikyo or even dying without saying goodbye.
As I recalled all of this, I just kept running, letting my legs carry me wherever they wanted. I closed my eyes and went back to being lost in thought.
I wish that you would just leaveBecause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone.
Inuyasha! Why do you do this to me? I cried out in my head. Aren't I good enough to have just a little of your love? I opened my eyes as I slowed down. The Bone-Eaters well... I let a sobby sigh escape my throat. Home... maybe I'm not meant to be here after all.
These wounds won't seem to healThis pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
By now my tears had stopped and my dry eyes stung as the wind harshly blew at me, making my hair fly everywhere. Why me, Kikyo? If you were gonna hate me, then why am I your reincarnation? I didn't need to think twice. Without hesitation, I threw myself into the well, hoping that I would be able to forget about Inuyasha, that god-damn hanyou.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tearsWhen you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I climbed out the well to gratefully find myself back home, in my own era... where I belonged. I slowly climbed up and out of the well, but I didn't leave the well house.
"Why Inuyasha?!" I cried out loud, as the tears started flowing all over again. "What did I ever do you?" Images of Inuyasha and Kikyo kissing flashed before my eyes. "All I ever did was care, love you even. I was always there for you. Hell, I even stood by you when others didn't. How could I have been so stupid?!"
I cried it all out, letting the tears fall to the ground. Through everything, Inuyasha, I was there. When you were human, I was there; when you were youkai, I never left your side!
"What's wrong with you, damn it?!" I yelled, but then I lowered my voice. "Loving a bunch of... of clay."
You used to captivate meBy your resonating light
But know I'm bound by the life you left behind
When I first saw you pinned to that tree, I... I know that something was going to happen. And as I got to know you more and more, you became the best thing to ever happen to me. I thought you were the greatest thing ever. But then Kikyo came back and changed everything. Numerous tears dropped to the ground as I sat on the wooded stairs.
"I know I'm nothing like Kikyo. Hell, I'm never gonna be like her, but there has to be something you see in me. I know I see something in you." Heh. I know I see something in you. Arrogance for sure, I thought. You're quite a piece of artwork Inuyasha. But even before arrogance, I see loyalty. I sighed sadly.
You're face it haunts my once pleasant dreamsYou're voice it's chased away all the sanity in me
I grabbed the sides of my head as if I was blocking out some sound.
"I can't stop thinking about you. You and your beautiful golden gaze! Even when I'm here, where I belong, not a day goes by without thoughts of you creeping into my ever-busy mind!" Why can't you see? Even a pervert like Miroku can see! Are you that FRIGGEN DENSE?!
I pulled the Shikon shards out from under my shirt. They were glowing a little brighter than usual. What? Are you looking for her too?
These wounds won't seem to healThis pain is just too real
There's just to much that time cannot erase
I just sat there on the steps looking up at the rafters thinking about what I should do. I could go back, but that would mean I would have to see Inuyasha and talk to him. But if I stay here, I won't be able to get him out of my head. God, this is so hard. I slowly closed my eyes, weighing out my choices.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tearsWhen you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
Actually, know that I think about it, Inuyasha's been there for me a lot too. Ever since that incident with Menomaru...
::::::Flashback::::::
I was on my knees, trying my best to fight back Menomaru's control over my body.
"Inu...yasha, get away from me, run! Before I..." that was all that I was able to stammer out.
"No! I'm sick and tired of everybody telling me what to do! I'm not leaving, not without you!" His words hit me hard, and I let down my guard. Within seconds, Menomaru had me again.
::::::End Flashback::::::
Inuyasha, I silently giggled, it was because of you that I pulled through that. But I'm sorry I didn't stay. I ran away. And I never truly got to tell you why.
::::::Flashback::::::
"I just thought that maybe you'd be better off... without me around," I sobbed. I knew I wasn't there physically, but through the shards of the sacred jewel, Inuyasha and I were able to connect.
"What are you ranting about now?" Inuyasha grumbled as he slowly stood up, but he didn't get too far before starting to fall. In a heartbeat I was by his side, helping him. Them before I could react, I was in Inuyasha's warm embrace.
"I need you here with me, Kagome. Haven't you realized that yet?"
::::::End Flashback::::::
I tightly hugged my knees and rested my head on top. As tears streamed down my face, there was only one thing on my mind. Where do I go from here? Back to where I'm needed?
But you still have all of meA beam of light came through a crack in the door and shone on the well. I slowly lifted my head and looked at the old thing, the well, my portal. I sighed. Great, sunrise.
"What? Should I go back?" Yes, Kagome, you should, I thought as I answered my own question.
I stood up and approached the well.
"Inuyasha or no Inuyasha, I need to go back. For Miroku, god forbid; for Sango, the sister I never had; and for Shippo, my feudal era Sota." Going back was never as easy as coming home. I took a deep breath. 1... 2... 3! One jump was all it took.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're goneBut though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
Blue streaks raced past my face as I travelled back to the feudal era. I took a while to have the courage to pull myself out and face the thing I feared the most. One way or another, I thought, I'll have to face--- I turned around slowly.
"Inuyasha!" Instantly, blush invaded my face, leaving me completely speechless. I spun back around.
"Kagome!" Inuyasha said running up behind me. "Uh... you wanna turn around?"
You know I do, dummy, I thought to myself. "No."
"Something wrong?" he asked dumbly, taking another step closer.
DUH! "No."
"Then just talk to me already. Please?" There was a bunch of pleading in Inuyasha's voice that I had never heard before. I gave in and turned around to find that he was extremely close to me. I backed up just a little.
"Before you start yelling, let me talk first. One, I saw you with Kikyo and have come to accept the fact that you'll never love me like you lover her. Two, I only went back because I felt that I had to." I took a deep breath. All my guts were being spilled out way too fast. "Three, I know the Shikon-no-Tama is almost complete, but I don't want it to be, because, four, I... I... uh..." Come on, Kagome, don't stop now! "I love you, Inuyasha." Physically that was excruciating, but mentally, that was relieving yet murderous. But Inuyasha didn't even look shocked.
"I can counter to all that, yah know." My jaw dropped. The nerve of this guy!
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tearsWhen you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
"One, I know you saw me with Kikyo and I know I won't love you like I love Kikyo because I love you more. Two, I would've gone back to my own time if I had seen you with that Hojo guy, so I know how you feel. Three, I don't want the Shikon-no-Tama to be complete either if it means that I'd lose you. Four, I love you too, Kagome Higurashi." Inuyasha had a smirk on his face that anyone would love. That was it; I lost all control that I had. I dropped to the ground and started to cry. Inuyasha dropped to the ground next to me just as fast.
"What is it, Kagome? Was it something I said?"
"No... no, you said everything right and as perfect as you could get." I replied feeling guilty for everything that I had said, and thought back in my own era.
"Then what's wrong?"
"What were you doing with Kikyo?"
"Huh? Oh, I was telling her that I didn't love her anymore, that my heart solely belongs to you."
"But you were kissing her..."
"No I wasn't. She was kissing me."
This could be a good time to tell him why I left after Menomaru had control over me, I thought.
"Inuyasha, remember the time when Menomaru was controlling me and I almost killed you?"
"How could I forget?" he answered as he wrapped arms around my waist and pulled me in so that I was leaning on him.
"I left because... because Kikyo forced me too. I wouldn't have otherwise." Inuyasha was silent for a while. Oh god! What did I do now?
"So, it was Kikyo's fault." I nodded.
"And I don't want to ever complete the Shikon-no-Tama ever 'cause then you'll make your wish and then I'd lose you forever and I know that I'll never able to get over you."
"Heh. That's exactly how I feel. I don't want to lose you Kagome. I wouldn't be able to live. You've made me see my life differently. Like, I'd still be pinned to the God Tree, and I'd still have a heart as cold as stone. For the longest time I felt that loving you would be just the same as loving Kikyo. Letting my guard down just wasn't an option anymore."
But you still have all of meI closed my eyes and leaned closer to Inuyasha. Funny how things turn out in the end when feeling come into play, isn't it? "Inuyasha, is that why you never opened up to me?"
"No, I never opened up to you because I was scared that the more you found out about me, the farther away you'd get, but I was wrong. You got closer. But even still I thought that if I showed you how I felt and tried to reach out, that you'd fade away and disappear... forever."
"Inuyasha..." I finally knew why he always seemed so distant whenever he was so close. I pulled away from him and turned around.
"Tell me if I start to disappear." I whispered as I caught his lips in a kiss. Each moment I spend with you, Inuyasha, makes my life a whole eternity better. Thank you. We slowly back down until the grass cradled us, still holding the kiss, each hoping that it would never end.
"Don't ever forget me Inuyasha," I said when we pulled apart. He looked at me with is honey coloured eyes.
"I'd rather be pinned to a tree than forget you." He replied as I lay my head on his chest, taking in the best moment of my life.
THE END
Hope you enjoyed the song fic...remember to review!! xox
