Peering Into The Pages

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Bury The Hatchet

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In his eyes, she will always be Aphrodite, and I shall be Artemis
How can she be so saccharin sweet, and yet I hate her still
My jealously burns a hole in my chest and I wonder—
Would he suddenly awaken from her unintentional spell?
Am I doomed to forever love another that does not feel the same?
A curse has been placed upon me—karmic vengeance at it's best

---Page 48 of the Little Pink Book

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He's asking her again. This is the third time in two weeks. I wonder if Arnold will understand that Lila does not love him. I wanted him to know that the prettiest people could do the ugliest things. Her sweet country bumpkin act fooled everyone but me. I refused to cave into the charm of someone like her. No one else seemed to be able to see through her sweet façade. Her mannerisms bothered me because she was sickeningly cute when she made mistakes, or gestured as she spoke. She had the kind annoying charisma that made girls like me wish to change ourselves. I have always been a stubborn sort, and no one was going to get me to act differently.

Lila has the teeth rotting sugary personality that always made me balk at her obvious farce. I hated her for many reasons, but my main pet peeve was Arnold's attraction to her. She knew how well she was liked by him, but she pushed it aside. I wrote poems, long tragic poems about this kind of behavior. She may have wanted to shove him away, but I would have gladly taken the remnants of his self esteem and helped him shape it into something wonderful. They're chatting now, and I can see that bashful gleam in his eye. Unwittingly she draws him in, and he is happily fooled.

He offers to carry her books as we head home from school. Pheobe senses the tension in my body, and she places a steady hand against my shoulder. Lila declines his offer, stating that she is staying after school for extra credit. I've got yet another detention for placing glue in Harold's shoes. Phoebe volunteers to stay with me, but we both know that she wants to go with Arnold and Gerald.

It is quiet save for Lila's reading through her assignment. I suppose that I should grateful for the company, but this is Ms. Perfect Lila! I snort when she drops a part of her art assignment to the floor. The green construction paper lies their ignored. She turns to me, gracing me with a knowing smile. I return her grin with a scowl of my own.

"You know, you don't have to try ever so hard Helga."

I say nothing, but my pen drops from my hand, joining the ignored green sheet on the floor. She covers her mouth with a light grin, and melodic laugh elicits from her mouth. Hearing her then, I realized that I also hated her perfect voice, with its perfect giggle. I get up from my seat, looking out the door to make sure no one is coming. Our teachers never actually monitored us while we were in detention.

"Alright bucko, get to the point or Ol' Betsy and the Five Avengers will use as a punching bag!"

She sighs, picking up the green sheet from the floor. I silently watch as she makes little green hearts and bells. Even her artwork is 'ever-so-freaking cute. Could the girl ever be imperfect? Could she not make any mistakes at all?

"You'll never get his attention acting this way, Helga. I really don't understand why you dislike me so much.

We both know that's she talking about Arnold. I study her for a moment, quietly waging war with my mind and heart. Should I say anything, or pretend not to know what she's talking about? What the heck, I suppose she'll never tell. She's kept my secret this long, and we're not even friends. Maybe just this once, I could talk about my dilemma with another person besides Phoebe. I retrieve my pen from the floor, and continue to write. We're silent once more, as we engage ourselves with busy work. I sneak a peek at her, watching as she continues her project cheerfully.

"You're the competition."

I say suddenly, and she pauses. Nodding, Lila looks me in the eye then. I know that she does not wish for his affection, and that she only likes him as a friend, but she's still the enemy in my eyes.

"I know, and I don't mean to be. I'd ever so like for the two of us to become friends."

She says in a quiet voice. While she may know that I love Arnold, I wonder if she knows exactly how much I love him. She seems completely sincere with her words. I slammed my little pink book shut. I don't think I can stand another minute with her. I nearly race from the room, needing a respite from the awkwardness. Before I am completely out the door, my quiet reply floats through the room. Lila's offer a possible friendship echoed in my mind.

"Not yet, but maybe some day... in the future."

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Footnotes: Reviews are nice, and I'd like some if you don't mind. Thanks for reading. Peace!