Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter stuff. OK? What part of that don't
you get?!?!?!?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
A/N- I would like to thank my VERY first real live reviewer that I as far as I am concerned do not know or have made up. Can we put our hands together and make some applause please! Give it up ya'll for Libby Bird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would like to say this poem!!!! And if you my first official reviewer are mad because you are a boy, then I am sorry that I used she!!!!
Oh she may think that my story is perverted,
But I still congratulate her on her reviewing,
She may think my writing is bad doing,
But that's ok because she decided to review,
She may even have broken curfew,
But that is really off the subject but it rhymed,
If I new you I would probably give you a dime,
Because you reviewed.
I will survive,
I will survive,
My writing may be disgusting and perverted but I,
I will move on,
And go to better things where you and I do so belong,
Because you review for me and I review for you.
And we are happy,
No our hair ain't even nappy,
Ignore my mean words,
Cause I,
I was mad,
But that's ok,
Because I am glad
That I have a reviewer,
And this,
This is for you,
It may well suck, but it's still made just for you,
I love the way you review and everything you do and I may not even know you
but that's ok because you reviewed,
So bye bye
Review some more
And you won't see me walk out of the FanFiction door
I have all my life to give and I have all my life to give
And I
I will surviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive...................oh!
Some of these lyrics are from the song Survive, because it is stuck in my head. Love ya Libby Bird PEACE!!!! And on with the story! #########################
Lily lay awake in her hospital bed.
Why are all these walls so white?! They definitely need some colour in here. Why don't we go to Home Depot! Oh my Dad could buy the—
Every time Lily thought the most simple thoughts her dad or James barged into them with the dream breaking windows of peace in her mind.
Why won't you just stay out of my mind?!
Lily waited a second for her father or James to answer inside her head. She remembered, she wasn't making a decision so no one would answer her, not even an argument between one choice or another. Why had this dream come? I hate this. Why is it that my dreams of being famous don't come true, but my dreams that are bad do? I need my Dream Dictionary and Dream Encyclopedia. And what was this and letting my dreams of me and James come true? Suppose I had talked in my sleep...oh no...What if I did and...Does James know about my dream? And if it got out that I had dreams of my father...oh I'm gonna be sick. If it got out that I had dreams of my father forcing me to...I can't even think of it If James were to say anything, but that's preposterous, I didn't talk in my sleep, did I?
I can't believe that my Dad would force me to..., tears clouded her eyes,...to jump out of my window like that. Why had James come to help me? I wouldn't be here sitting in this dumb hospital bed. Daddy shaking me and biting my neck. If James hadn't tried to save me, I wouldn't have been thrown out of my window. But, then again, he would have continued to, to, to rape me. I don't believe that anyone would want to do that to me, these things only happen to people with bad fathers. It happens to the people that have unstable lives, where suicide was the only way out. If you were to change your identity and run away, your past would still follow you.
I don't want to live a life like that. I don't want to die in a life like that. I don't even want to think about a life like that. I don't want to have that trashy-over dramatized-fluffy hair-bad manicure-chew-blow-bubble- pop kinda life. I'd rather be a lawn gnome. I have to stop this before it starts. I will not become a victim. I am Lily Sage Potter God Damn It! No one will tell me what to do. I am confident and no one stands in my way. I can think for myself thank you very much and if you want to control me then too bad. No questions asked, I control myself.
"Lily, you need to finish your salad."
"Do I have to Nurse Robbins?"
"Yes. You'll do what you're told, no more questions."
I pick at my salad. I hate peppers. I hate tomatoes. I hate radishes. I hate Feta Cheese that doesn't taste right. I like cucumbers...sometimes. I want Mandarin Oranges, lettuce, carrots, apples, cinnamon, raisons, grapes, walnuts, and other assorted stuff. Well, at least there's ranch dressing. Twenty Minutes and a toilet paper wad of assorted hated vegetables in the trash later, I am swallowing vanilla pudding that doesn't taste as good as my mom's. I can hear the screams of swear words down the hallway. I wonder if that is the same lady that was screaming at her doctor earlier. I felt so hopeless for her. Her husband and her son just died in a car accident. 50 feet onto rocks. She's 7 months on with twins. She has 2 months to get her life ready for 2 new lives and say goodbye to 2 others. It's just so, so unfair that the good people have to suffer. It's just so, so unfair that the bad people have to suffer. No one can be completely bad. Can they?
Hopeless and Helpless
We are the children of the revolution
Life as we now it may end
But that's alright as long as we can begin again
We are all different trying to be alike
We are the children of the revolution
Who is pregnant?
Who is high?
Which celebrity can we bribe next to die?
What is the biggest profit?
Why live our lives when we can criticize theirs?
But Hopeless and Helpless as we are
We are the children of the revolution
Stuck with an old world's problems
Making our own
Expected of us all is to solve
Cause if we don't
Behind some locked door
A girl will be writing this in 2004.
I need to get away from this dream. To run from it. Where to go? Who could I trust? I can't give a dream for a reason to run away. That's like saying I'm skipping History of Magic because my Defense Against the Dark Arts book is yellow. It makes no sense!!!! My DADA book is purple! I don't want to wait until my dream comes true to leave. I could take our license plates to get changed and never come back. That could work. The sticker has almost run out. That might work. Mama won't want me driving though. My legs are only bruised and cut. They're not broken. Are they? I haven't even lifted my head. It hurts so bad. What happened to me in that tree? I need to think. You are thinking ding brain. Then I need answers. You idiot! Why don't you listen to all that Catcher in the Rye symbolism shit? [I think its brilliant deep stuff]. I do! I do! I've looked at my life as J.D. Salinger and I see all these very true things that I just don't want to see, so I just stopped—
"Bitches unite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Who doth interrupt my thoughts?"
"Dah-ling you're awake!"
"You bet your 40 ducats I am!" I said pushing up my boobs. Quickly pushing away my thoughts with an old joke.
"But these, these are 65!" Rose said pushing up her butt.
"Where are Analynne and Vic Val?
"They haven't come yet."
"Oh. Boo Hoo."
"What's wrong with you, you look like you've been crying."
"What did James say about the tree?"
"He said, and I quote 'I was visiting her and we fell asleep in the tree. I woke up around midnight. She was having a dream. She must have been having a bad one, because she was kicking and screaming, and she kicked me really hard in my erm, um, 'area' and she fell out of the tree. Then her pocket started ringing and—' and then I came back from peeing and said, 'I was on the phone, I was telling her about my day and James started talking to me. I like totally freaked out when I heard she was hurt and came out to help you guys.' Something like that why? Was James lying? Because I swear if he hurt you—he did not push you out of that tree. He is dead! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! JAMES JONOTHAN POTTER!"
"Please Rose! No death threats in the hospital. Is that all he said?"
"Yeah. Are you ok from that fall? That was pretty high up. But you can always count on my peach blossom to fall can't ya?"
"Yeah, just usually not that big of a fall!"
"No matter how tall you try to be with you 'elevated shoes' you'll never be a tree like Willa!"
"Lily, can I talk to you?" a low, slightly scared voice came from the doorway.
"Sure James whatever! Thanks for helping me."
"What about me! Without Rose you'd be by a tree right now." She said in a fake offended voice, wiping an invisible tear from her eye.
"Yes, and thank-you Rose for using your unlimited night and weekend minutes on me."
"Oh you're making me blush!"
"Um, can I uh talk to you uh a alone please?" James asked in a scared nervous scared voice that you would never expect from Mr. Confident.
"Oh I see how it is! I'll just go and find a hott guy in a backless hospital gown, shall I?"
"Rose," I said as she went on her journey for hott guys, "can you get me one too?"
"You know it!" And with a wink, she was off.
"Lily, would you like the odd awkward serious question first, or the irrelevant awkward odd question first?"
"Ummmm...is this a trick question?"
"Well, if you don't remember your dreams, it might seem that way."
I understood. I had done more than just scream; I had probably said everything that I said in my dream out loud. My worst fears had come true, well worst fears except for my dream coming true. I take a deep breath that shudders. Tears leak from my eyes. I focus on my empty pudding bowl. Should I tell him the truth? Would I trust someone I've pretended to hate more than someone I truly love? Would I tell my secret to him before the Oval? My face is turning red I can feel it. A tear falls into the residue of pudding, sitting on top of a glob of white as if afraid to soak into the reality all around it.
"The awkward odd serious question first."
"Is your father hurting you?"
I looked up into those hazel eyes, which I had denied myself of for so long, afraid to look into them, knowing they were persuading for the truth. Wanting to comfort me and to help me. I know that the truth could either make me or break me. I look down trying to find anything to look at but his eyes. I see an old dried up leaf in my bed from Willa. I pick it up and crunch it and blow it off my hand, wishing it was the dream which I could just forget and have it blow away as light and easy as that leaf. His eyes are so beautiful they have flecks of gold, blue, green, chestnut, any colour you name it. I am shaking slightly. I could always pull a 'I don't know what you're talking about and tell an extremely perverted joke to change the subject' that works sometimes. Or I could tell...... I look up and say—
"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"? "?"?"?"?"?
It is late and I have to go to sleep now. Its like 3:53 AM. I am tired. I also made my very first cliff hanger! Yippy mwahahahaha I can feel the power! READ & REVIEW!!!!!!!! Love ya! Bye Bye.
A/N- I would like to thank my VERY first real live reviewer that I as far as I am concerned do not know or have made up. Can we put our hands together and make some applause please! Give it up ya'll for Libby Bird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would like to say this poem!!!! And if you my first official reviewer are mad because you are a boy, then I am sorry that I used she!!!!
Oh she may think that my story is perverted,
But I still congratulate her on her reviewing,
She may think my writing is bad doing,
But that's ok because she decided to review,
She may even have broken curfew,
But that is really off the subject but it rhymed,
If I new you I would probably give you a dime,
Because you reviewed.
I will survive,
I will survive,
My writing may be disgusting and perverted but I,
I will move on,
And go to better things where you and I do so belong,
Because you review for me and I review for you.
And we are happy,
No our hair ain't even nappy,
Ignore my mean words,
Cause I,
I was mad,
But that's ok,
Because I am glad
That I have a reviewer,
And this,
This is for you,
It may well suck, but it's still made just for you,
I love the way you review and everything you do and I may not even know you
but that's ok because you reviewed,
So bye bye
Review some more
And you won't see me walk out of the FanFiction door
I have all my life to give and I have all my life to give
And I
I will surviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive...................oh!
Some of these lyrics are from the song Survive, because it is stuck in my head. Love ya Libby Bird PEACE!!!! And on with the story! #########################
Lily lay awake in her hospital bed.
Why are all these walls so white?! They definitely need some colour in here. Why don't we go to Home Depot! Oh my Dad could buy the—
Every time Lily thought the most simple thoughts her dad or James barged into them with the dream breaking windows of peace in her mind.
Why won't you just stay out of my mind?!
Lily waited a second for her father or James to answer inside her head. She remembered, she wasn't making a decision so no one would answer her, not even an argument between one choice or another. Why had this dream come? I hate this. Why is it that my dreams of being famous don't come true, but my dreams that are bad do? I need my Dream Dictionary and Dream Encyclopedia. And what was this and letting my dreams of me and James come true? Suppose I had talked in my sleep...oh no...What if I did and...Does James know about my dream? And if it got out that I had dreams of my father...oh I'm gonna be sick. If it got out that I had dreams of my father forcing me to...I can't even think of it If James were to say anything, but that's preposterous, I didn't talk in my sleep, did I?
I can't believe that my Dad would force me to..., tears clouded her eyes,...to jump out of my window like that. Why had James come to help me? I wouldn't be here sitting in this dumb hospital bed. Daddy shaking me and biting my neck. If James hadn't tried to save me, I wouldn't have been thrown out of my window. But, then again, he would have continued to, to, to rape me. I don't believe that anyone would want to do that to me, these things only happen to people with bad fathers. It happens to the people that have unstable lives, where suicide was the only way out. If you were to change your identity and run away, your past would still follow you.
I don't want to live a life like that. I don't want to die in a life like that. I don't even want to think about a life like that. I don't want to have that trashy-over dramatized-fluffy hair-bad manicure-chew-blow-bubble- pop kinda life. I'd rather be a lawn gnome. I have to stop this before it starts. I will not become a victim. I am Lily Sage Potter God Damn It! No one will tell me what to do. I am confident and no one stands in my way. I can think for myself thank you very much and if you want to control me then too bad. No questions asked, I control myself.
"Lily, you need to finish your salad."
"Do I have to Nurse Robbins?"
"Yes. You'll do what you're told, no more questions."
I pick at my salad. I hate peppers. I hate tomatoes. I hate radishes. I hate Feta Cheese that doesn't taste right. I like cucumbers...sometimes. I want Mandarin Oranges, lettuce, carrots, apples, cinnamon, raisons, grapes, walnuts, and other assorted stuff. Well, at least there's ranch dressing. Twenty Minutes and a toilet paper wad of assorted hated vegetables in the trash later, I am swallowing vanilla pudding that doesn't taste as good as my mom's. I can hear the screams of swear words down the hallway. I wonder if that is the same lady that was screaming at her doctor earlier. I felt so hopeless for her. Her husband and her son just died in a car accident. 50 feet onto rocks. She's 7 months on with twins. She has 2 months to get her life ready for 2 new lives and say goodbye to 2 others. It's just so, so unfair that the good people have to suffer. It's just so, so unfair that the bad people have to suffer. No one can be completely bad. Can they?
Hopeless and Helpless
We are the children of the revolution
Life as we now it may end
But that's alright as long as we can begin again
We are all different trying to be alike
We are the children of the revolution
Who is pregnant?
Who is high?
Which celebrity can we bribe next to die?
What is the biggest profit?
Why live our lives when we can criticize theirs?
But Hopeless and Helpless as we are
We are the children of the revolution
Stuck with an old world's problems
Making our own
Expected of us all is to solve
Cause if we don't
Behind some locked door
A girl will be writing this in 2004.
I need to get away from this dream. To run from it. Where to go? Who could I trust? I can't give a dream for a reason to run away. That's like saying I'm skipping History of Magic because my Defense Against the Dark Arts book is yellow. It makes no sense!!!! My DADA book is purple! I don't want to wait until my dream comes true to leave. I could take our license plates to get changed and never come back. That could work. The sticker has almost run out. That might work. Mama won't want me driving though. My legs are only bruised and cut. They're not broken. Are they? I haven't even lifted my head. It hurts so bad. What happened to me in that tree? I need to think. You are thinking ding brain. Then I need answers. You idiot! Why don't you listen to all that Catcher in the Rye symbolism shit? [I think its brilliant deep stuff]. I do! I do! I've looked at my life as J.D. Salinger and I see all these very true things that I just don't want to see, so I just stopped—
"Bitches unite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Who doth interrupt my thoughts?"
"Dah-ling you're awake!"
"You bet your 40 ducats I am!" I said pushing up my boobs. Quickly pushing away my thoughts with an old joke.
"But these, these are 65!" Rose said pushing up her butt.
"Where are Analynne and Vic Val?
"They haven't come yet."
"Oh. Boo Hoo."
"What's wrong with you, you look like you've been crying."
"What did James say about the tree?"
"He said, and I quote 'I was visiting her and we fell asleep in the tree. I woke up around midnight. She was having a dream. She must have been having a bad one, because she was kicking and screaming, and she kicked me really hard in my erm, um, 'area' and she fell out of the tree. Then her pocket started ringing and—' and then I came back from peeing and said, 'I was on the phone, I was telling her about my day and James started talking to me. I like totally freaked out when I heard she was hurt and came out to help you guys.' Something like that why? Was James lying? Because I swear if he hurt you—he did not push you out of that tree. He is dead! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! JAMES JONOTHAN POTTER!"
"Please Rose! No death threats in the hospital. Is that all he said?"
"Yeah. Are you ok from that fall? That was pretty high up. But you can always count on my peach blossom to fall can't ya?"
"Yeah, just usually not that big of a fall!"
"No matter how tall you try to be with you 'elevated shoes' you'll never be a tree like Willa!"
"Lily, can I talk to you?" a low, slightly scared voice came from the doorway.
"Sure James whatever! Thanks for helping me."
"What about me! Without Rose you'd be by a tree right now." She said in a fake offended voice, wiping an invisible tear from her eye.
"Yes, and thank-you Rose for using your unlimited night and weekend minutes on me."
"Oh you're making me blush!"
"Um, can I uh talk to you uh a alone please?" James asked in a scared nervous scared voice that you would never expect from Mr. Confident.
"Oh I see how it is! I'll just go and find a hott guy in a backless hospital gown, shall I?"
"Rose," I said as she went on her journey for hott guys, "can you get me one too?"
"You know it!" And with a wink, she was off.
"Lily, would you like the odd awkward serious question first, or the irrelevant awkward odd question first?"
"Ummmm...is this a trick question?"
"Well, if you don't remember your dreams, it might seem that way."
I understood. I had done more than just scream; I had probably said everything that I said in my dream out loud. My worst fears had come true, well worst fears except for my dream coming true. I take a deep breath that shudders. Tears leak from my eyes. I focus on my empty pudding bowl. Should I tell him the truth? Would I trust someone I've pretended to hate more than someone I truly love? Would I tell my secret to him before the Oval? My face is turning red I can feel it. A tear falls into the residue of pudding, sitting on top of a glob of white as if afraid to soak into the reality all around it.
"The awkward odd serious question first."
"Is your father hurting you?"
I looked up into those hazel eyes, which I had denied myself of for so long, afraid to look into them, knowing they were persuading for the truth. Wanting to comfort me and to help me. I know that the truth could either make me or break me. I look down trying to find anything to look at but his eyes. I see an old dried up leaf in my bed from Willa. I pick it up and crunch it and blow it off my hand, wishing it was the dream which I could just forget and have it blow away as light and easy as that leaf. His eyes are so beautiful they have flecks of gold, blue, green, chestnut, any colour you name it. I am shaking slightly. I could always pull a 'I don't know what you're talking about and tell an extremely perverted joke to change the subject' that works sometimes. Or I could tell...... I look up and say—
"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"?"? "?"?"?"?"?
It is late and I have to go to sleep now. Its like 3:53 AM. I am tired. I also made my very first cliff hanger! Yippy mwahahahaha I can feel the power! READ & REVIEW!!!!!!!! Love ya! Bye Bye.