But I Do Regret…
In Memory Of Haku, The Boy As Pure As Snow.
The pain was unbearable. I should have expected it, I've been hurt before. But this time it wasn't the pain of my wounds. They were killing me yes, but I hold no regrets about what I have done. The life I led was a good one.
The pain that's killing me now comes from deep within my chest. From the heart. It's the pain of my life. Of all the things I've done, and haven't done. All the regrets I have, and all that I haven't.
I don't regret the life I've lived.
I don't regret the choices I've made.
And I don't regret dying now.
I do regret that I'll never feel the snow beneath my bare feet again.
That I'll never see the sunrise over a mountain.
I regret that I'll never get to taste the dew from a flower.
I regret that I'll never again get to see the first snowflakes fall, as I lay in a field of clover.
I don't regret all the lives I've taken.
I don't regret my mother dying.
I don't regret my bloodline,
And the gift that I've been given.
I don't regret being involved in any of this.
I regret that I'll never be able to swim in the ocean.
I regret that I'll never get to watch thunder flash over a night sky again.
I do regret that I'll never have my name carved in a monument.
I regret that I'll never learn to name the stars.
I regret never having made more friends.
I regret that I'll never see the sun again.
There are so many things in this life that I regret, and so many things which I don't. And right now, as everything wonderful in my life flashes before my eyes, I notice something. Behind every good memory, is his face. Every good time I've had, was shared with him by my side. And even as I die, it becomes a good memory. Because though my body is dead, my soul can sense him beside me once more. And I can only realize one thing.
I'll never regret him hitting me.
I'll never regret becoming his tool.
I'll never regret the time that we shared.
I'll never regret being his closest companion.
I'll never regret making him smile.
I'll never regret loving him.
But I do regret that I'll never see his face again.
Short. Rather crappy. But I had to write something, and when I spilled, this is just what came out. Maybe if I was more poetic it'd be a poem.
Brought on by watching an MV dedicated to Haku, in which I turned off the sound and set Haku's theme to playing, with the accompaniment of thunder and lightening outside. This is just my pathetic attempt at sharing my emotions, the pain I feel at the thought of Haku dying.
Makes me feel empty inside.