The Pain of Freedom: Part 1 of the Empowered

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Sorry for any spelling or other mistakes in the last chapter; I'll try to read over it better this time-I don't have a beta. This chapter is kind of a continuation of the prologue, but I'm going to call it chapter one anyway. This first part doesn't really deserve the rating but the next probably will. Hope you enjoy; sorry if it's shit. Seraph

Chapter One: Leaving

Harry didn't meet anyone's gaze as he entered the room he just headed straight for the window. The first light of dawn was just creeping over the horizon, turning the sky a grayish white, and bleaching everything it touched to the same empty shade. The light reflected off Harry's countenance, for a moment revealing the ancient wisdom within him, usually concealed by his youthful features.

When he spoke his voice was so quiet that the others almost missed his words.

"I'm going to go away for a time. Voldemort has been defeated and the aurors can take care of any lingering threats. It's not necessary for me to be here anymore."

He turned to face them all before they could voice the protests welling up in their throats. His eyes were beyond old and filled with a weariness that they could all feel.

"It won't be forever, only a year or so when everything has hopefully blown over a little. I love and cherish all of you; you are my friends and family, but I need to go."

Harry took a deep breath, knowing that his words were surprising many of them. He was rarely so free with his emotions, but he knew that it was something he had to do, for them and for himself.

"My appearance has changed since my Empowerment and not many have seen me as I am now."

All eyes moved to his forehead where his curse scar had once been. There was only smooth unblemished skin now and he had grown almost a foot and now towered well over six feet in height. He had also become muscular and broadened considerably to match his height. There were other more subtle changes as well. His skin had darkened to a deep olive tone and, no longer need the glasses to see clearly, his eyes were an even more vivid, otherworldly emerald color, now shadowed with pain. He had become the epitome of the hunter, unseen and deadly, at fifteen.

"I won't be recognized if I go now."

Hermione gave a little sob and threw herself into his arms with Molly Weasley not far behind. He wrapped them in his embrace and sent waves of soothing emotion over them with his empathic powers until they calmed. Hermione finally released him, wiping her eyes. She sent him a watery glare.

"You'd better be back."

The threat in her voice was almost ruined in the next moment as she hugged him briefly and fiercely before releasing him once more.

He was embrace and threatened by them all as he said goodbye to everyone, feeling something deep inside him begin to bleed as they all reluctantly left. He would miss them, deep in his heart and soul.

Then there was only Albus. Harry looked at him seriously, seeing the worry on his face. He had never thought of Dumbledore as young in any way but Harry had aged so much inside that he could see his insecurity for what it was. He smiled sadly at him.

"This is for the best."

"To leave before he wakes?" he asked. "You don't know how he is going to react, what he will do. Harry he is your soul mate, you are meant to be together, how can he not want to be with you, once he has thought it over." His voice was almost pleading.

Harry shook his head gently and laid his hand on his arm, sending emotional reassurances.

"I know what his choice is, he's already made it, it was clear. He's repulsed by the whole idea. I didn't look into his mind; I didn't have to. He doesn't want anything to do with me."

Pain, wrenching, ripped through him as he recalled vividly the exact expression on Severus' face before he turned away after Harry had returned with Sirius through the veil; he had just managed to avoid actually feeling his disgust with a tight control on his telepathic and empathic skills. Everyone present, indeed everyone in both the magical and Muggle worlds, had felt the shock of magic as their souls had collided and joined...and then Severus had pulled away. He'd turned away and Harry didn't blame him. He wasn't worthy of love or even affection; that was clear to him. It's was equally clear to him, and, he was sure, quite clear to most of his friends, that he loved Severus Snape. The truth had been there for anyone to see in his destructive rage against those who had harm his soul mate; and in the way he had cradled his unconscious form in his arms when he apparated them both back to Hogwarts, the wards allowing his to do as no other could.

Harry took a deep breath. "I'm going to block my own memories, all of them, and my magic while I am away. But if I'm needed I will know and my memories will return, the spell will be broken and I will be here. I don't think I will be needed now though. I'll place a trigger in your mind as a failsafe if you consent. If you think for any reason that I should have my memories back before my time has past and the need is true the spell release will come into your mind; if it doesn't you will know that you don't really need me."

Dumbledore tried to interrupt as Harry smiled wryly at him but he was silenced as he shook his head. His smile faded and he looked at the other seriously.

"I'm tired, Albus. There is nothing here for me anymore, staying will only cause more pain; to myself and those I care about."

His gaze wandered briefly toward the bedroom where Severus rested and pain once again joined the weariness in his ageless eyes.

"I plan to live as a Muggle for this year I am away, maybe make some friends and live for a little while before I come back. My heart and soul won't forget; I can't block out my feelings. But maybe I can make some memories that aren't tainted with agony and loss. Maybe, when I come back, I will be able to use those memories to mask my feelings. I still have emotions just like everyone else, and there is so much going on in my head that I can't even sort them out. I need to do this."

Dumbledore looked at him in silence for a moment, knowing he could never understand the pain he was in. He nodded slowly and wordlessly wrapped to his arms around the boy he loved like a son, who had exceeded him already in wisdom and knowledge, and held on tightly. It was much like the embrace of Molly and Hermione and Albus felt like sobbing himself. When they pulled back Harry smiled at him softly in understanding.

"Look after them all for me." He paused and his smile faded to sadness. "Look after him for me."

Albus nodded and Harry raised his hands to touch his temples briefly. Albus felt a zing of magic go through his head and then Harry pulled his hands away. He knew that Harry must have place the spell release inside his mind. And then Harry was gone and Albus was alone in an empty room.

TBC