Pain of Freedom: Part 1 of the Empowered

Author's Note: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, I'll try to update as quickly as I can.

Chapter Two: Waking

Severus awoke to a feeling of weakness and a sense of loss. Something vital to him as breath was missing. He sighed as his thoughts came together and tried unsuccessfully to banish the feeling as he rose and walked over to the window slowly. He knew exactly what, or rather who, was missing and he had no right to the emotion. Or the possessiveness he felt. He didn't deserve Harry. Nothing would ever make him good enough. And he was much too old for him. Apart from that he had made very certain with his words and actions that Harry would never want to be with him.

Severus attempted and failed miserably to block out the memory of Harry's stricken expression as he turned away from him. It was for the best, he knew that, but in that moment all he had wanted to do was take his soul mate in his arms and pledge to never cause him pain again. There was no way though, that they could ever be together.

Harry had most likely realized that as soon as his mind had cleared of the shock of that first connection of souls. Severus snorted inwardly without any amusement at his self deception. He himself still hadn't gotten over the shock that the blasted boy-who-bloody-lived was the other half of his soul. But try as he may he couldn't think of the little prat with anything but tenderness...and love. Severus sighed aloud. He really was a dirty old man.

Madame Pomfrey walked in and, seeing his empty bed, marched over to him and began berating him for "frolicking around, and in his condition!" (A/N Sorry, had to pause for a moment to imagine Sev frolicking, LOL). Severus returned to his bed after only a half-hearted sneer. There was something in her expression that worried him. A million thoughts rushed into his mind, each one more horrifying than the last.

"What's happened?" he asked, cutting her off mid-tirade.

She froze and avoided his probing gaze. Severus felt fear, unfelt and unacknowledged for so many years, begin to creep up his spine in icy chills. He forgot himself.

"Has something happened to Harry; is he alright?!" he blurted out as he started to rise from the bed once more.

She finally met his eyes as she put out her hand to stop him, but it was her words that halted his panicked movement.

"Nothing has happened to Harry that I know of."

Her words calmed him somewhat but her careful wording kept his on edge. He could tell that she was concealing something as she continued, blatantly changing the subject. "He-who-mus...Voldermort has been defeated, Severus, along with all his followers."

She seemed to spark with excitement all at once, and he stared at her, not daring to believe her words. He urgently pulled up his sleeve, belatedly realizing that the Dark Mark had not even twinged since he had awoken. Sure enough the mark that had bound him was gone without a trace, leaving only his pale skin behind. Emotions whirled erratically within him as he tried to process that the nightmare that had held him in thrall for more that 20 years was over. Then he looked up again. The looked on his face was as menacing as ever as he demanded the truth with his words.

"Is Harry really alright?"

He knew that his soul mate was the only one capable of defeating Voldermort. He was only slightly reassured when Poppy again tried to convince him of Harry safety. Her expression once more took on that same uneasy cast that gave her away when she tried to conceal something.

Before Severus could begin to interrogate her the door to the infirmary opened and Albus Dumbledore walked in. He took in the situation at a glance.

"Thank you, Poppy. I believe you are needed in the great hall."

He said nothing more until the door closed behind her relieved form. Albus sat in the chair beside the bed Severus was currently occupying.

"I'm sure Poppy has told you of Voldermort's defeat, so I will only assure you that he has indeed been destroyed. For good this time." He paused, and then sighed. "And I am sure that you are anxious to know Harry's condition."

He gave Severus a shrewd look, completely lacking in his usual amused twinkle. Severus said nothing just returned his look steadily without flinching. There was no point in denying it, not to Dumbledore.

"Physically, Harry is without injury, as far as I know. But there have been developments, while you slept, that prevent me, or any of us for that matter, from knowing for sure. Harry has, quite simply, vanished from the wizarding world. He has gone of his own free will away for a year and will not be back until that year is over."

Severus sat in shock, years of practice the only thing keeping the emotion from his expression. He only distantly heard Dumbledore pause. There was only one thing that truly registered. Harry was gone. He was out of his reach; he couldn't touch him or see him. Deep inside Severus something screamed in anguish as all his senses search in vain for the conceited little brat who had been the bane of his existence for years. But he didn't find him. Harry was gone and he wouldn't be back for a long time.

TBC

A/N: I know that Severus seems a little out of character but bear in mind that he is finally free of his enslavement which forced him to live a lie for a very long time. He has got a choice about loving Harry, he was meant to from before he was born but it was only apparent after Harry became a mature wizard with his empowerment. So he'll love him... whether he likes it or not!