Luke hadn't questioned Ryan for the first hour they were at the bar. He respected Ryan's silence but his friend's intensity was too much for him. He was worried.
"Ryan."
Ryan glanced up from his fourth Jack and Coke. "Yeah?"
"What's up?"
"Nothing."
"You're drinking."
"So?"
"You don't drink."
Ryan raised his eyebrows. "Oh. Yeah. Sorry."
"Dude. What is it?"
"Did you know Marissa's talking again?" Ryan asked after a long pause. He lit a cigarette. Luke had never seen him smoke.
"Yeah. Jimmy told me," Luke replied.
"Yeah. So I don't know what to think right now and I just feel like drinking," Ryan shrugged.
"Did she talk to you? Like, can she form sentences?"
"She…she called me by someone else's name," Ryan said. He inhaled deeply from his cigarette.
"Who? My name? One of those random guys she was fucking?" Luke asked. He waited for a reaction from Ryan. "Ryan?"
"She called me 'Seth'," Ryan whispered.
Luke froze. He had never asked what had caused the falling out between Ryan and Seth but he'd never considered Marissa as an issue. "Liar. Seth…he didn't…Seth and Marissa…"
"She looked in my face and said his fucking name…" Ryan murmured.
"Are you sure, Ry?"
"About her and Seth? Yeah. I caught them," Ryan said. "That's why I broke up with Marissa the last time."
"Shit, dude…I never thought…I just thought that whatever was between you and Seth, that you guys would get over it…"
"I am over it…I just haven't told Seth that yet…Damn, I don't know, Luke…but it fucking killed me when she said that…" Ryan muttered. He drained his drink and held two fingers up for the bartender.
"You caught them, Ryan? Where? When?" Luke asked, still stunned.
"In my bed in the poolhouse. Kirsten made me stay in the guestroom that night 'cause I had taken that beating with you after the soccer game and I had walked out to get a change of clothes. I caught them…" Ryan hesitated. "It wasn't the first time they'd been together…they admitted it all to me right there."
"You should've kicked his ass," Luke said.
"I'm over it. But I can't go see Marissa anymore," Ryan said.
"God, dude, I'm sorry," Luke said.
"Can you do me a favor?"
"I'll try."
"Get me drunk and drive me home," Ryan said. The bartender set two drinks in front of him.
*****
"Dad. I want to talk to you about something," Seth said to Sandy.
"Okay. That's what I'm here for," Sandy smiled. They were having dinner before Sandy's flight that was leaving later that night. Seth had been successfully moved into the apartment he was sharing with Anna.
"So. I wrote Ryan a letter. It basically said that I was going to…come clean. I need to tell you what happened, Dad, because I need you to help me get Ryan to forgive me. I…it's all my fault and I miss him so much…" Seth started.
"Seth, wait, slow down," Sandy urged. "It's okay."
"No, it's not okay. I hurt him, Dad. I betrayed him and nothing I do can make it up to him."
"Tell me what happened," Sandy said.
"I slept with Marissa," Seth said quickly.
"Seth." Sandy was stunned.
"It was stupid. I can't explain it…I have no excuse…Marissa was just…she was just sick…it was like she got off on it and I…I just couldn't resist her…"
"And Ryan found out?"
"He caught us," Seth whispered. "And…and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…I was selfish and I betrayed him…I'll never forget that look on his face when he walked in…"
"I don't know what to say, Seth," Sandy sighed. His cell phone rang and he answered it, recognizing Kirsten's number. "Hello?"
"Hey. I need a parental conference."
"Me, too. What's up on your end?"
"Ryan got upset at the hospital today and basically ran away from me and Jimmy at his apartment today. I made him promise to come to dinner but Luke just called and said that Ryan's too drunk to come over…"
"He's drunk? What upset him? His mom?" Sandy asked. He was preoccupied with Seth's confession.
"No. Marissa called him Seth," Kirsten said. "Don't say anything to Seth, Ryan made me promise but he said that Seth and Marissa…"
"Seth just told me, Kirsten. About what happened," Sandy sighed, chilled by his wife's words.
"Should I go over there? I mean, Luke's with him, but I don't…I should go, shouldn't I, Sandy? I don't want him to pull away again, not after we've finally gotten through to him…" Kirsten asked.
"Is Luke staying with him?" Sandy asked, not meeting Seth's concerned gaze.
"He said he was. I asked him to bring Ryan here, but he wouldn't…"
"Well, he's not going to talk to you tonight, Kirsten, maybe just give him some time."
"Time?"
"Take him breakfast, Kirsten. Make him come with you to pick me up from the airport," Sandy said.
"Okay. How's Seth?" Kirsten asked.
"He's fine. We're in the middle of dinner," Sandy said.
"Everything okay?"
"Fine. Do you want to talk to him?"
"Tell him that I'll call him later, I don't want to interrupt your dinner any further. Love you," She added.
"Bye." Sandy closed his phone with a click.
"What happened? Is Ryan okay?" Seth asked immediately.
"Well, he's a little upset," Sandy sighed.
"Why? What happened? You said he was drunk and Ryan, he doesn't drink," Seth said immediately.
"Marissa…she's getting better. She said her first words a few days ago. Today she called Ryan by your name," Sandy said seriously.
"Oh shit…why would she do that? God, Dad, there was nothing between us, I swear, it was just sex…"
"It doesn't matter. Not now, Seth. I'm just sorry that all of this happened. I'm sorry that you couldn't control yourself and I'm sorry that Ryan got mixed up with Marissa in the first place," Sandy sighed. "I even encouraged him to go after her…"
"We all did. But I don't think anyone knew how sick she really was. Not even Ryan," Seth said quietly. "I would do anything to fix this if I could."
"You're going to have to talk to Ryan."
"I've been trying. He wouldn't come near me and I didn't want to bring it up in front of you guys until I warned him…god, Dad…I don't know what to do, I thought if I just gave him enough space that we could…"
"I don't know what to say, Seth. I wish you had talked to him before you left," Sandy admitted.
"I tried…"
"I'm sure you did, Seth, but this…" Sandy shook his head sadly.
"I know you're disappointed in me. I'm disappointed in me, too."
*****
Kirsten arrived at Ryan's apartment two hours before she was slated to pick Sandy up from the airport. The Range Rover had appeared in the driveway overnight and a scrawled note apologizing for missing dinner. Ryan's car was gone from the Cohen driveway where it had been parked previously. She knocked on Ryan's door but there was no answer. She left a note on his door and remembered that he had promised to visit his mother. Instead of waiting, she returned home.
Ryan was at the gym. He had apologized to Luke the night before and sent him home. The night of drinking had not helped quell his building depression. He should be elated. He never expected to go to college or have people that cared about him. Even with all the drama that had come from his relocation to Newport, the Cohens had become his family. For once, he felt like he really had a support system.
He still felt like he was drowning. After the accident, he hadn't felt the same. It was like his body was betraying him. The one thing he could always depend on was his health, he took care of himself, he worked out and kept in shape. It took him six weeks after the accident before he could even walk without crutches. Now, he would ignore his pain and go to the gym at least five days a week. He had taken up boxing and was the champion in this gym. His face was swollen from two back to back matches this morning. Whenever he would come into the gym, he would be asked to box. One of the trainers had even offered him a job helping out some of the weaker fighters.
"Ryan? I think you should slow down a little," A voice said from behind him.
"What?" Ryan wiped the sweat from his face as he stopped pounding the punching bag. He turned and recognized one of the trainers that he knew well, Steve.
"Dude, if that bag was a man, he'd be dead already. Let me see your hands," Steve said. Ryan held out his hands, unsure of what Steve was getting at. Steve pulled the tape off Ryan's hands and revealed his swollen, bruised fingers.
"Damn," Ryan muttered as the pain in his hands finally affected him. He pulled his hands away and clenched his fists, trying to dull his pain sensors.
"Everything okay?" Steve asked quietly.
"Yeah, I just overdid it a little," Ryan replied.
"Are you sure everything's okay?"
"Yeah, Steve, thanks. I'm going to get out of here," Ryan said, heading for the showers.
Well, drinking hadn't helped. Taking his frustration out on the punching bag hadn't helped. Maybe he should try drinking again. Ryan changed his clothes and left the locker room, heading for his car.
"Oh shit, Ryan? Is that you?"
Ryan turned, not recognizing the voice immediately. He was blinded as a flurry of black hair slammed into him, hugging him.
"Summer?" Ryan asked when she looked up at him and stepped back.
"What happened to you?" She looked great even though she was wearing her gym clothes. Her brown eyes were sparkling with worry.
"Boxing," Ryan said immediately as she put her fingers on his bruised face.
"I should have known that would be your sport of choice. What are you doing here?"
"I'm starting UCLA in a week and…"
"Me, too!" Summer smiled.
"When did you get back?" Ryan asked.
"Yesterday. My dad's springing for an apartment a few blocks away and I kind of got athletic when I was in Europe. My ex, he was a fitness nut, the bastard," Summer said animatedly. Ryan smiled despite himself.
"You look great," Ryan said honestly. Her hair was longer and he flipped it playfully with his swollen hand.
"I wish I could say the same, Chino. You're skinny and you need a haircut," She grinned but gave him another impulsive hug.
"You in a hurry?" Ryan asked.
"Not really, why?" She narrowed her eyes.
"I thought maybe you'd want to catch up," Ryan shrugged.
"You're not busy?" Summer asked, surprised. "I figured you'd be rushing over to Marissa's or the Cohens…"
"A lot happened while you were gone, Summer. Seth's starting school in New York next week and I've got an apartment around the corner…
"What about Marissa?" Summer asked quietly, clearly surprised.
"She…there was an accident. She's in a private wing of the hospital…" Ryan started.
Summer gasped, covering her mouth. "Coop?" Ryan steadied her with a hand on her shoulder.
"It's a really long story, Summer," Ryan said after a short pause. His cellular phone vibrated in his pocket again. It'd been buzzing all morning but he didn't want to talk to anyone. Luke was worried about him. Kirsten was worried about him. Sandy was probably freaking out after hearing from Kirsten. He didn't feel like being under their microscope yet so he hadn't answered his phone yet. He still had to go visit his mother, finish moving out of the poolhouse, make an appearance at the Newport Group to go over some schematics and settle everything with Kirsten and Jimmy.
"You're vibrating. You're not going to get that?" Summer was watching him, curiously.
"Nah. I actually should get going…"
"I thought we were going to catch up," Summer replied, amused.
"That was before I remembered all the shit I have to do…" Ryan said honestly.
"Well, I'm going to go work out but I'm totally free later for the catching up. Can I give you my number?" Summer asked.
"Sure, Summer. It's nice to have another friend around," Ryan said.
"You're still not the social butterfly, I take it?" Summer joked.
"Nah., not yet anyway," Ryan said. He took her number and handed her his phone number in return. His phone started to vibrate again.
"You better go before your pocket explodes," She laughed.
"Give me a call, Summer," Ryan said. He gave her a quick hug before they waved goodbye.
*****
Summer had finished her workout and was toweling her wet hair after her shower when she collided with the tall man in the hallway outside the locker rooms.
"Oh, god, I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention…" Summer started.
"Summer?" Luke recognized her when she looked up at him.
"If I had known it was you, I wouldn't have apologized," She smirked. Luke picked her up in a huge hug and spun her around.
"It's damn good to see you, girl," Luke smiled.
"I ran into Ryan earlier…"
"You did? Is he still here?" Luke asked, sobering immediately.
"No, he said he had a lot of errands to run…" Summer said. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, sure, fine, but Ryan's…I'm looking for him. He's kind of upset…" Luke admitted.
"He didn't seem upset to me, bruised but that's Chino's favorite look from what I recall," Summer said.
"Kirsten and Sandy are freaking out," Luke added with a sigh. "I was hoping he'd still be here…"
"His phone kept buzzing but he wasn't answering it. What's going on?" Summer asked.
"It's…it's nothing to worry about…"
"And that's why you're so worried?" Summer tilted her head at him. "Come on, walk me to my car and tell me what's going on."
Luke let Summer link arms with him and they walked toward her car. "Never took you for the sporty type," Luke smiled.
"Yeah, me either. But it's a great way to relieve stress and god knows I'm like a stress magnet," She replied.
"Ryan and I are starting at UCLA next week," Luke said.
"You're going, too? That's great, it'll be nice to know a few people on campus. Where are you staying?"
"God, my mom's making me live at home for a semester but Ryan's got a pull out couch that I'll probably be taking full advantage of," Luke replied.
"How's your mom?"
"She's fine. Remarried to this rich banker, Harry. He's nice though," Luke shrugged.
"And your dad?"
"Fine," Luke replied. "He's been with this guy, Danny, for about a year now. He's nice, too."
"Good, Luke. I'm glad to hear it. Ryan said that Marissa's in the hospital. That there was an accident. Mind filling me in?"
Luke stood beside her as she leaned against her convertible. "God, Summer, its such a mess."
"What? Tell me," Summer urged, concerned.
"Well, you know that Ryan and Marissa broke up because she was fucking around on him," Luke began.
"Marissa was cheating on Chino?" Summer asked, surprised. "God, I didn't expect that."
"She had a lot of problems," Luke said slowly, gauging her reaction. "Anyway, after that, she started using drugs and drinking and sleeping around. Ryan stayed away from her. Then her dad, Jimmy, came to Ryan and asked if he could help get her some help. Of course, Ryan agreed, the stupid bastard, and started trying to help her again. She ended up disappearing and Ryan went after her and convinced her to come home. She freaked out and ended up crashing the car. It took Ryan months to recover, he was really hurt, he's lucky to be alive, honestly but Marissa…she suffered brain damage. She's been in the hospital ever since and she's having to relearn everything, how to talk, how to feed herself, everything…"
"Oh god…poor Coop…poor Chino, that's so awful…" Summer said, stricken by Luke's story.
"Yeah, it totally sucks," Luke agreed.
"But Ryan, he looked like he was fine, I mean, he said that he was boxing and…"
"He's recovered now, mostly. I mean, I can tell that he's still in a lot of pain sometimes but you know how he is, he thinks he's tough," Luke explained. "He hasn't been the same since it happened. He got quieter, if you can believe that," Luke smiled.
"How's Jimmy taking it?" Summer asked.
"He goes to see her every day. Ryan usually goes with him but…"
"Ryan still goes to see her?" Summer gasped. "After all that?"
"Well, until yesterday…"
"What happened yesterday?" Summer asked.
"I can't talk about it, but Ryan…he won't be going to see her anymore. I know he's upset but he's fucking avoiding everyone and last night he got wasted…"
"He doesn't drink," Summer interrupted. "It must be pretty bad if it made him drink."
"Exactly. So I'm worried about him…"
"Now I'm worried, too. Can I help you look for him?" Summer offered.
"Sure, Summer. You want to take your car or my truck?" Luke asked.
"I'll drive," Summer said immediately. "I remember your driving all too well."
*****
Ryan walked out of the prison and immediately lit a cigarette. It figured that it would take incarceration for his mom to actually want to be a part of his life. She was desperate for his company now that she was locked up. If he missed a visitation, she would call him every chance she got to make sure he hadn't abandoned her. It was exhausting for him to see her. He didn't want to bring her down while she was in jail, but accepting her constant apologies and listening to her excuses for her behavior wore him out every visit.
He was tired. He hadn't eaten yesterday and his hangover wasn't making food appetizing to him. His fingers had swollen up now and he couldn't hold a pen because of the damage. He got into his car and glanced at his blinking cell phone before starting his short drive to the Newport Group.
Ryan liked his work and was good at it. Kirsten had caught him examining one of her blueprints for a model home after his accident and after a short discussion, realized that he had a real talent for architecture. To keep him busy, she started letting him help her with her work at the Newport Group. Within a few weeks, she didn't know how she'd survived without his input. Ryan had never gotten along with Kirsten's father, Caleb, but the man had developed a respect for Ryan after seeing his work and had started making an effort to connect with him. Caleb finally seemed to accept that Ryan was a part of his daughter's family. Ryan hadn't reciprocated yet, but he was impressed with Caleb's offer of an internship. Ryan ended up spending a lot of time at the main office and most people assumed that he was already working for Caleb and Kirsten, they took his orders without question despite his age.
Ryan tried to push his latest meeting with his mother to the back of his mind. He was too preoccupied to try and deal with all the unresolved feelings that he had with his mother. He knew that it was only a matter of time before he had to face Kirsten and probably Sandy, if he was back from New York, so he was looking forward to going to the Newport Group to focus on work for a while before dealing with them.
He parked his car and locked it before turning to start toward the building.
"Your parents are looking for you," A voice said as he walked into the lobby. Ryan jumped, startled.
"Excuse me?" Ryan turned and recognized Caleb.
"Kiki's frantic with worry. Did you lose your cell phone in the fight you just came from?" Caleb's face was unreadable but his voice was low and serious. He put his hand on Ryan's back and led him to the elevator.
"I went to the gym this morning and got bruised up when I was boxing," Ryan said quietly, letting the older man push the button for the eighth floor. Ryan's work was on the ground floor so he knew that Caleb was leading him toward his office..
"Boxing?" Caleb asked surprised. "I didn't know you were into boxing…"
Ryan met his gaze evenly. He had stopped being afraid of Caleb's disapproval after the accident. "I always could take a punch, it was bound to happen eventually."
Caleb looked away first as the elevator stopped. Ryan followed him into his expansive office. "I'm going to call Kiki and tell her you're here…"
"I can call her, I'm heading over there right after this…" Ryan started.
"Have a seat, Ryan," Caleb said as he sat down behind his desk.
Ryan hesitated but sat down. He was too tired for this.
Caleb pushed a button on his phone and after a beat, a voice replied, "Yes, Mr. Nichols?"
"Could you bring me a couple of ice packs, Linda? My grandson needs to ice down his hands," Caleb said to his secretary over the intercom.
Ryan was surprised. He opened his mouth to protest but Caleb gave him a silencing look. Ryan sighed.
"You have to start taking better care of yourself," Caleb said as he dialed another number.
"Kirsten Cohen," The voice said over the speakerphone.
"Ryan's with me, Kiki. He came in to do some work," Caleb stated calmly.
Kirsten sighed in relief. "Thanks, Dad."
"Sorry, Kirsten," Ryan said, knowing that she would hear him.
"You worried me. I'm glad you're okay. Are you coming home?"
"As soon as I'm done here, I promise," Ryan said.
"Thanks, Dad. For calling."
Caleb said goodbye to his daughter as his secretary walked in with two small icepacks. She gave Ryan a sympathetic smile as he accepted them and she exited.
"I'm going to…" Ryan said as he started to get up.
"Sit," Caleb interrupted.
Ryan obeyed because he was too tired to argue.
"You have to start taking care of yourself, Ryan. You've had a rough couple of years but things are finally turning around for you…" Caleb started. "You're enrolled in college. You've got an impressive work history here at the Newport Group. You've got a family that cares about you and…"
"I know, Mr. Nichols…"
"Caleb," He replied.
Ryan met his gaze. The ice was numbing his throbbing hands.
"What happened to your hands? It didn't happen boxing unless you forgot the gloves…" Caleb muttered.
"I got a little…out of control with the punching bag…" Ryan said quietly.
"You've got a lot on your mind. I can see that. You don't need some old man pestering you. But I'm not just any old man, I'm…"
"Mr. Nichols?" Ryan interrupted.
Caleb glared at him.
"Cut to the chase," Ryan said quietly.
"Is there anything I can do to help you?" Caleb asked.
"What?" Ryan was stunned. Caleb had made no secret of his dislike to Ryan up until the past few months. Even with Caleb's recent change of heart, this was a huge thing.
"You heard me. I am worried about you." He paused. "It's funny. I was never around my own children enough to be able to see when they needed help." Caleb met his confused gaze. "You're a good boy. You're quiet and polite and you know what you're doing. You take care of your own and I respect that. You've helped me reconnect with my daughters."
Ryan was silent. His mind was trying to process Caleb's words.
"You look like hell. Kiki and Sandy aren't saying anything and you never say anything…"
"I don't really know what to say," Ryan replied.
"You're starting college in a week. You're on your own again and I have no doubt that you're going to excel just like you did in high school. But I'm worried about you and I'd like to help."
"I appreciate your concern but I'm fine," Ryan said.
Caleb watched him carefully.
"I had a bad day yesterday…" Ryan said slowly.
"It shows," Caleb said seriously.
"Thanks," Ryan smiled.
"Don't worry about whatever you're working on, it can wait," Caleb said. "Let me take you home."
"I can make it."
"Ease an old man's mind. Let me drive you," Caleb said.
Ryan sighed. The ice packs had started to drip.
"Come on. Relax. I'm not going to bite you," Caleb said, standing up.
"Thank god," Ryan muttered with a straight face.
*****