Author's note: I've been asked, for more than once
now, about the 'romance' genre of this story and I feel that an explanation to
everyone is required. Well, here goes: this is not quite a romance in the sense
in which most people see the word. I mean it in a widest way. There is a
"romance" between people here, true, and the story is about that love, but it's
just not *that* kind of love... Hopefully it will be clearer as the story
progresses. Anyway, I hope this doesn't keep you from reading and that you
continue to enjoy it! =)
________________
Chapter IV: Nimrodel
Face to
that, there was little Haldir could have done. Not that he had any doubts in
his mind as to what to do, he only hoped no harm would
come of it. He leaned back on the chair, glanced at Simbelmynë and finally
faced Moralphwen. Her face was full of steely
determination, even though he could still make out the silver tracks of fallen
tears on it and her eyes fooled no one. He had no other choice. He loved the
maiden too much to lie, and to finally reveal it to her would be like lifting a
heavy burden off his shoulders. He knew he was disobeying an order from the
very Lords of Lothlórien, but he cared little for them at the moment, his
little alph [swan] was more important. Silently
asking the Valar for strength, he slowly began
speaking.
"Moralphwen, I do care for you, even if right now you
may feel otherwise. I ask you to simply understand this: if neither Simbelmynë
nor I have told you anything before, it was because we truly could not. In
fact, not even now are we allowed to tell you what I'm about to say." Moralphwen regarded them both with an ambiguous nod, not
wanting to take any compromises before knowing the truth. Not entirely
reassured that she would not hate them, but gladly accepting the gesture,
Haldir hesitantly continued. "I don't really know where to begin..."
"Why don't you try the beginning.", the maiden
interrupted. Haldir was surprised with it and seriously did not like what lied
beneath the tone, considering the tense situation. Simbelmynë held her usual
reprimand and urged the captain onwards instead. He was rashly blunt.
"Very well. You are Moralphwen,
second child of Thranduil of Mirkwood,
and the Princess of the Northern Realm of Taur-e-Ndaedelos."
Moralphwen stared ahead, unmoving, no longer sure if
she was really looking at the captain's eyes or just keeping very still, as not
to find out that that was not just another dream, but cruel and harsh reality.
She felt numb, her little world completely falling apart with the simple
statement. She could literally feel the glass island in which her life lay
shattering under her feet.
Suddenly, those two... 'persons' in front of her felt very disturbing, the
chair she was sitting on felt disturbing, the very fragrant air of Lórien was
disgusting to her. She carefully rose and not once looking back, and keeping a
rigid posture, walked away.
Simbelmynë tried to follow the silent maiden, but Haldir grabbed her wrist to
stop her. "Leave her alone for a while."
"But she still does not know everything!... What if-"
"I said, leave her. Once the initial shock is over, we
shall calmly tell her the rest. For now, let her assimilate this; afterwards
we'll tell her the details." Simbelmynë strongly disagreed with the captain,
but, as much as it pained her, Haldir was closer to Moralphwen
and knew her better. She reluctantly took his advice.
Unfortunately, though, Moralphwen did not hear Simbelmynë's last words and, unlike Haldir had predicted,
did not understand that there could be more to the story. If she was Princess,
then her Prince was actually her brother, and the dreams were real, in fact they
were more of memories. In that case, what more needed she to know than that her
own family, her brother and father, had abandoned her, left
her alone to Lórien? What more could there be?
She didn't know how to feel or what to feel. All she knew then was that she had
to keep on moving, her feet had to walk, because otherwise, grief and sorrow and
anger, which she struggled so hard to keep afar, would catch up to her and
consume her soul. She was starting to have difficulties in thinking, and her
legs fought it in her mind's place by sprinting off, taking the maiden into the
woods. She was blind. She didn't see where she was going, but neither did she
care.
Eventually, she came to a stream, "Nimrodel!", and vaguely wondered how it was
that she had gotten so far. The sounds of the running waters brought peace to
her bewildered thoughts and she focused on that alone trying to let go of all
else.
First, she sank to her knees, and finally ended up lying down on the shore,
letting her tears join the flowing stream. Feeling her heart crumbling, again
she sang to pull herself back together and straighten her thoughts.
Nimrodel! Nimrodel! Herio yalumëa,
Úmë firnalye lyanen melmë?
Mernyë umbárnya nië i lyá,
An órenya ná quanta nyérënen...
[Nimrodel! Nimrodel! Lady of old,
Have you not perished out of love?
Let my fate be thine own
For my heart is full of grief...]
Moralphwen felt so betrayed... How could they?
They had abandoned her, with no explanations, nothing. They had left her with
dreams to deceive and torment her, to make her think they loved her, when, in
the end, she was nothing to them. They didn't even want her to know who she
was...
She took a deep breath and, with all her being, made a resolution. No, she
would not give in and neither would she leave, that was what they wanted. She
would fight and she would hate them with all her soul, her brother and father.
No, the strangers that nature forced her to call her family. And
Haldir too. As for Simbelmynë, she was probably the only person who had
ever been true to her. She deserved her respect. But the
others...
Suddenly, a loud thunder split the sky asunder and rain joined in with it. Moralphwen took shelter under the thick branches of one of
the great mellyrn and waited for it to pass, the loud
noise having temporarily driven her angry thoughts away. But no more thunders
were heard and the falling drops' continuous and repeating soft sounds soon
lulled the quiet and already exhausted maiden lying on the earthy ground.
~*~
«Moralphwen was back in her room, at the palace.
She lazily awoke from her light and gentle sleep, stretched her arms and slowly
turned in her huge bed to get up, her feet hanging by the side because she was
still too small.
When sleep no longer clouded her mind, the first thing she wondered on was what
her brother would be doing. So she ran to the door that connected the two
adjacent rooms and, reaching out on her tip-toes, opened it. What she came
upon, though, was but the spacious chambers well tidied and the bed covers well
in place, and no signs of her brother.
"Maybe he's already up", she thought next and again flew off the room and
through the many corridors, looking in about every room she could find, but he
wasn't anywhere in the palace. "He has to be outside, then!" She walked through
the great magical gate that led out, to the forest, still wearing her
night-gown and in bare feet.
Moralphwen hesitated then and just looked around, not
exactly knowing what to do, since she'd never been alone out there. Not seeing
him anywhere near, she thought best to go back inside and wait for him there,
but when she turned she found the gate already closed. She worried somewhat
then, she had no idea of how to get it open and there was no one else around
who could do it for her. She looked for someone and luckily found a group of
elves who were standing some distance away. Moralphwen
decided to go there and ask them for help, but they noticed her nearing and
left, not once looking her in the face.
She was confused with it and just when panic was truly starting to tinge her
features, the gate opened again and out came an old lady. She went straight to Moralphwen and spoke to her in a chastising voice. Despite
that, the little maiden was utterly relieved and fiercely hugged the older
lady, who got confused with the sudden show of affection, especially when she
was being reprehensive.
"There were some elves here, but they didn't help me. Why did they walk away
like that?" The lady was embarrassed with the innocent question, she didn't
know how to answer that, and so she didn't say anything. Instead, she took the
little maiden's hand and led her back to her room to get dressed.
The lady was strict, but kind, and worked hard for Moralphwen
not to look anything but the Princess she was. The maiden could not help
thinking how much she resembled Simbelmynë in that. When she was almost done
intricately braiding Moralphwen's dark hair with much
effort, the door to the room suddenly opened and the maiden turned her head to
see who it was that had entered, completely ruining the lady's work. But she
still couldn't... »
~*~
"Wake up, my lady!" Moralphwen's eyes drifted open,
and she saw a guard's smiling face above her. She was soaking wet and felt
battered and sour. The guard helped her up and regarded her with a worried
look. "What are you doing out here by the river in the middle of a stormy
night, my lady?"
"There are things which can only be settled in the solace of quiet solitude."
She was curt. This was truly not the time to talk with someone about her
troubles, especially not with some guard who she did not know. She wished nothing
more but for him to go away and leave her as she was.
"Yes, some may feel that way, but a great thing it must be if it would drag a
lady all the way here. And besides, some times the ones not personally involved
in the thing may have a clearer view of it than those that are, would you not
say?" She was astonished he would say that. She would beat the little intruder
in his own game first, and then send him away.
"Maybe. But you forget that those that are out tend
not to realise how deep the thing may reach."
"And those that are in may be influenced by it and oversize it."
"But only they can comprehend it entirely."
"And still some details may elude them, so focused on other matters are they."
She was starting to get annoyed.
"Are you saying that they would not consider that?"
"I do believe I am. There are always tenuous nuances. Take the very tale of the
lady Nimrodel and Amroth, for chance. I have met men,
to whom I told that tale, that solemnly claim that
they do not understand why Amroth threw himself to
the wild sea, knowing that Nimrodel could take another ship and the two would
meet in Valinor. And yet..."
"Only cold hearts would claim that."
"There are times when they are required. And it is a different perspective all
the same, even if not a very happy one." And that finally made Moralphwen think. True... and what was it, in fact, that
had made her family leave her? What would make them do that?
Noting the calmer and distracted look on the maiden's face, the guard took the
opportunity to take her back home.
