"Sandy, could you get the door?" Kirsten was immersed in several stacks of paperwork that Caleb had brought her from the office. She was planning on staying home today to make sure that Ryan didn't need her. It was Friday and Ryan hadn't left the poolhouse at all yesterday except to come in for dinner. He was still painfully withdrawn and wouldn't respond to Sandy at all.
"Sure. Are you expecting anyone?" Sandy asked as he kissed her on the cheek.
"Not that I can think of," Kirsten replied. The doorbell rang again.
"Well, they're certainly impatient…" Sandy muttered and started to go to the door.
"Well so much for surprising the parents at the door," Seth said as he walked in, heavily laden with bags.
"Seth? Seth!" Kirsten gave her son an enthusiastic hug, knocking his bags from his arms and almost toppling him to the floor.
"Hey, Mom. I guess you missed me," Seth grinned.
"Seth, what's the occasion?" Sandy asked as he gave his son a hug.
"Well…I have some news," Seth said.
"What about school?" Kirsten asked.
"School…is not exactly what I expected. I needed to come home," Seth said quietly.
"So…" Sandy urged.
"You guys know I've been talking to Ryan, right?"
"He mentioned it," Kirsten nodded.
"Well, it's been a little rocky but I've been calling him a lot. A couple of days ago, he actually called me. He told me all these things…things that made me have to come home and…and make sure he's okay. Is he okay?"
"You can't just quit school because you're worried about Ryan," Sandy said after a short pause.
"I never started school. I never went. I just…I couldn't…" Seth confessed.
"Seth…" Kirsten whispered, startled.
"It's really complicated. I know I should have told you…Ryan said I should tell you but…but I knew that you'd both be upset…" Seth said quietly.
"Okay, Seth. I want to hear more about this, I have to hear all about this, you understand?" Sandy asked.
Seth nodded. "How's Ryan?"
"He's in the poolhouse," Sandy replied.
"I'm really worried about him. He's…he's not himself," Seth said quietly.
"You don't exactly seem like yourself either," Kirsten replied.
"What did he say to you that made you decide to come home?" Sandy asked.
"Well, it wasn't exactly what he said, it was…it was what he didn't say," Seth said slowly.
"We are talking about Ryan here. Go on, Seth," Kirsten smiled.
"He's just talking out of his head. He's got stuff all twisted and since we're…we're sort of quasi-friends again, I though I should come home and face you guys and see if I could help him," Seth said.
"Quasi-friends? What does that mean?"
Seth hesitated. "He says he's over what happened, that we're family and he forgives me…and he talks to me about stuff but I can tell that…that he's still not completely cool with me."
"But you came home for him, Seth," Kirsten said. "Doesn't that make you a little more than 'quasi'?"
Seth turned away from them and put a bag on the counter. "I don't want to get my hopes up. I brought gifts."
"For your parents that you just told you dropped out…" Sandy replied.
"Technically, I didn't drop out. Technically, I never started. But yes, I brought gifts.
*****
Sandy knocked on the door to the poolhouse.
"It's open," Ryan called.
Sandy stepped inside. Ryan had a laptop open in front of him and his cellular phone to his ear.
"Hey, Ernie, I have to go…I'll have to get back to you…" Ryan closed his phone.
"Working?" Sandy asked.
"Sorry. He called. Sent me some emails. Not much work, I swear," Ryan said quietly.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay."
"You're hiding out here like you're grounded or something."
"Nah."
"We wanted you in the guest room."
"I know. But I hope I'm not a guest," Ryan smirked.
"I didn't mean to upset you yesterday," Sandy said.
"I overreacted. You're right."
"I am?" Sandy asked, surprised.
"Was there ever any doubt?" Ryan muttered.
"Ryan…" Sandy was confused by Ryan's tone. He couldn't tell if Ryan was angry with him or just being sarcastic.
"Sorry. My moods are a little off," Ryan murmured.
"I never even knew you had moods," Sandy remarked with a smile.
"I need to tell you something."
"Okay."
"I don't mean to be keeping things from you. There's just some things that I didn't tell you because…because they didn't have anything to do with you."
"Like how you helped Trey," Sandy stated quietly.
"Yeah. He got in touch with me when he got out of jail," Ryan sighed.
"You really seem to have helped him, Ryan. I'm proud of you."
Ryan's eyes are locked on the carpet in front of Sandy's feet. "It's not a big deal."
"Is that what you needed to tell me?"
"No." Ryan hesitated. "So I freaked out back at the apartment. Before you came to get me."
Sandy nodded. "Okay, Ryan."
"And Summer took me into the bathroom to fix my hands and she found my painkillers."
"You take painkillers for your back," Sandy nodded.
"I don't take them," Ryan said evenly.
"You aren't taking them," Sandy repeated.
"And I just put them away when I get them. I just put them under the sink." Ryan paused. "I didn't even think about what it would look like. There must be 20 bottles under there by now."
Sandy was quiet. "What were you going to do with them?"
"Nothing."
"Then why don't you just throw them out? Or flush them?" Sandy asked.
"I don't know," Ryan said. "I didn't think it was a big deal but it scared the hell out of Summer."
"Seth's here."
"What?" Ryan asked, confused at the subject change.
"Seth flew home. He's inside. He was worried about you," Sandy stated.
Ryan nodded.
"I need to think about what you told me…"
"Why?"
"Because. Why did you tell me? Because Summer asked you to?"
"No. I told you…because…I don't know why I told you," Ryan said, his voice trailing into silence. He lowered his gaze. "I shouldn't have told you."
"Ryan, that's not what…"
"No, you're right, I'm sorry…" Ryan stood up abruptly.
"Ryan, wait…"
"I'm not going anywhere, I'm here, where you can watch me and dissect what I'm doing and completely misinterpreting what I'm trying to say," Ryan snapped quickly. Luke stepped into the poolhouse quietly.
"Ryan…" Sandy began, not noticing Luke.
"No, it's done, I can't talk to you, I'm sorry I even tried, it was a bad idea," Ryan muttered.
"You're in hyperdrive," Luke said, stepping in front of Ryan.
"Fuck you," Ryan snapped. Luke put a hand on his shoulder.
"Time out," Luke said quietly. "Go get changed. Go into the bathroom and pull yourself together. Now."
Ryan hesitated but finally nodded. "Thanks." He walked into the bathroom.
"I thought him being here was supposed to be helping," Luke whispered to Sandy.
"How'd you know how to calm him down?"
Luke gave Sandy a strange look. "Mr. Cohen, we keep each other out of trouble. I can tell most of the time when he's going to blow."
"I didn't mean to upset him," Sandy sighed.
"He's doing everything he can to be what you guys want him to be but it's killing him," Luke stated quietly.
"You think this is my fault? For pushing him too hard?" Sandy asked.
"No. You guys are great parents. You haven't pushed him, he pushed himself," Luke replied, shaking his head at Sandy because he didn't understand Luke's meaning. "He's burning out, Sandy."
Sandy nodded.
"You should probably go," Luke said. "Let me talk to him a while. Chill him out."
"Seth's back."
"Seth? He's here? Does Ryan know?" Luke asked, immediately alert.
"I told him. They're trying to work things out, they've been talking on the phone and Seth came home."
"Wow. That's a surprise," Luke said quietly.
"Should I be worried?" Sandy asked after a beat.
"If Ryan didn't kick his ass for what he did…I'll respect that," Luke said thoughtfully.
Sandy smiled slightly. "That's not exactly what I was asking. But it's good to know. I'll be inside."
Luke nodded.
*****
"Summer."
"Seth. Surprise," Summer said when Seth answered the door after she rang the doorbell.
"Sorry. There's that first apology out of the way," Seth said, smiling nervously.
"Cohen. Move aside," Summer smiled.
"She doesn't need an invitation, she's not a vampire," Sandy called from the kitchen. Seth stepped out of the doorway and she stepped in.
"You look…awesome."
"Thanks. You look thinner," Summer commented.
"Thanks. I was on the 'I betrayed my brother' crash diet. I hear you heard," Seth said, trying to joke but failing miserably.
"Yeah. I heard. It doesn't change what's between us, though. You cheated. It doesn't matter who with…"
"Yes it does. It does matter. To Ryan. To me. It should matter to you. It would've been different if I did it with a stranger…" Seth replied. They were talking quiet enough that Sandy and Kirsten couldn't hear them from the kitchen.
"Eww. Not to me. But you were shitty to Ryan," Summer replied.
"We're working through it. Thanks for taking care of Ryan while I was gone," Seth said.
"While you were gone? What about before you left? You didn't care about him then," Summer snapped.
"I…I know. I'm trying to make it right. I made a big mess. That's why I'm here," Seth said quietly.
Summer was looking at him. "You're really sorry, aren't you?"
"Hell yeah. I'm really sorry. About everything," Seth said honestly.
"Good. You should be. Where's Chino?"
"He's in the poolhouse with Luke. I haven't been out there yet, I was hoping he'd come inside but no luck yet," Seth replied.
"Come on, I'll take you out there," Summer offered.
"You and Ryan, you guys are really close now, right?" Seth asked.
"Yeah. I think so."
"I don't know if we were ever friends but maybe we should have tried a little harder. The way Ryan talks about you, I really wish I'd had a friend like you," Seth said as they walked toward the poolhouse.
"Maybe we could be friends. If Luke doesn't kick your ass first," Summer said. She knocked on the door to the poolhouse.
"Yeah?" Luke answered.
Summer stepped in, making sure that Seth was in clear view behind her.
"Hey Summer. Seth," Luke nodded, flashing Seth a threatening look.
Seth paled a shade.
"Where's Ryan?" Summer asked.
"Taking a shower," Luke waved his hand toward the bathroom. Steam was wafting from underneath the door.
"He sure likes it hot," Seth noted.
"The heat helps his back," Luke snapped.
"I'm going to go back inside," Seth said, turning toward the door.
"No, dude. I'm sorry. Ryan's cool with you so I'm cool with you. I just don't like you," Luke sighed.
"It's okay. I'll wait inside." Seth left immediately.
"Come on, Luke, you could cut the kid a little slack," Summer scolded. She sat down on Ryan's bed.
"I know, but it just pisses me off. Chino lets too much stuff go. I mean, I get it, but I don't like it. Seth's his family and he has to get over it, but that doesn't mean that I have to get over it."
"Seth cheated on me. Ryan and I are the only people that really get a free pass to be pissed," Summer told Luke.
"Yeah, but what Seth did to Ryan is the reason he's having so much trouble now. I know, Marissa was sleeping with other kids, too, but…"
"What? You're sure?"
"Yeah. I'm sure, but it would have been a lot different if Ryan had had Seth around to be a friend when all that went down. You know?" Luke asked.
"Yeah. I know. But he's trying. And Ryan's trying. We have to respect that," Summer said quietly.
The door to the bathroom opened and let out a cloud of steam and soap-scented air. Ryan stepped out wearing a pair of sweatpants. His hair was still wet and plastered against his head.
"You really need a haircut," Summer said.
"Thanks," Ryan murmured distantly. He walked slowly to the bed and leaned down to get his bag. Summer hadn't seen him shirtless since she had returned and she was startled when he turned around. There were dark scars lining his back from the accident. Before he could see her reaction, he pulled on a wife-beater.
"Better?" Luke asked.
"Yeah. Better," Ryan muttered. He sat down on the bed beside Summer.
"Have you talked to Seth yet?" Summer asked.
"No. I haven't made it inside," Ryan answered.
"What's going on? You don't seem to be doing as well today," Summer said quietly.
Ryan didn't respond. Summer caught a warning glance from Luke and dropped it.
"I need to make some phone calls. I'll be inside in a few minutes," Ryan said after a long silence.
"You sure?" Luke hesitated.
"Yeah. I'll be fine. I just need to make a few calls," Ryan said quietly.
"Okay, dude. We'll be inside," Luke said, standing up.
"Do you mind if I stay?" Summer asked suddenly. "I mean, if it's okay."
Ryan met her gaze with tired blue eyes. "Not really digging the Seth reunion yet?" He asked evenly.
"You got me," Summer smiled. It's not what she meant but it worked if Ryan would let her stay with him.
"Oh, so send me into the fire. Thanks," Luke complained but he left.
"Don't say anything, Summer. Not until I'm done, okay?" Ryan asked before she could say anything.
"Okay, Chino. This is me not talking," Summer said.
Ryan used his cell phone to dial a number. She was watching him intently. After finding the painkillers, she had started to watch him to try and see if she could see signs that he was in pain. She recognized the slight grinding of his teeth and the tenseness of his jaw. He'd never admit it but she could tell.
"I'm calling for Dawn Atwood. She's a prisoner on cell block 7-C," Ryan said into the phone. He wouldn't meet her gaze as she studied him. He didn't seem to mind her observation of him but she put a hand on his shoulder. He didn't flinch but he didn't look up either.
"Thank you," Ryan said into the phone. She felt him tense up even more after a short pause.
"Hey, Ma. It's Ryan. Yeah, I know I missed visitation. Something's come up. I can't come see you anymore. Not right now. I'm sorry…"
Summer was startled when she heard the woman's shrill voice become raised in Ryan's ear. He didn't respond immediately, waiting patiently for her to stop yelling.
"Yeah. I'm sorry…it's a long story…" He paused for another fit of yelling. "It's not the Cohens, they don't have anything to do with it…"
Summer was chilled when she heard Ryan's next words. "I don't want you in my life. It's my decision. It has nothing to do with them, it has to do with me. I don't want to see you anymore." He shook her hand off his shoulder and stood up.
"Good luck, Dawn." He closed the phone with a snap and stood beside the bed, trembling.
"Wow," Summer whispered. "You don't do things halfway, do you?"
"Summer," Ryan said her name tiredly.
"Sorry."
Ryan reopened his phone but didn't sit down. He dialed a number and was silent. "Trey. Hey. Not much. Just checking in. Fine. Everything's fine. Nothing's wrong. I promise." He turned and met Summer's steady gaze. "Hang on." He lowered the phone. "My brother wants to talk to you."
Summer accepted the phone, surprised. "Hello?"
"Summer, you're with him?"
"Yeah, Trey. What's up?"
"How's he doing?"
"I don't know. He's okay."
"Really?"
"He's getting by."
"You think you could bring him out here to see me? Ry knows where I live. If the Cohens try to keep him cooped up there too long, he's going to bolt," Trey said. Summer glanced up at Ryan and realized that it was true. Ryan seemed twice as uncomfortable in the poolhouse today compared to when she left the night before.
"When?" Summer asked. "I mean, I'll see what I can do…"
"I get off work at four. Anytime after that."
"I'll try. We'll call you."
"Thanks. Let me talk to the kid again," Trey said.
She handed the phone back to Ryan.
"Hey. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. Bye." Ryan closed the phone.
"He wants me to take you to see him."
"He told me."
"What's going on, Ryan? What happened last night?" Summer asked.
"Nothing. You want to come inside? I promise I won't let Seth get too close," Ryan said evenly. His blue eyes were full of unspoken emotion but his face was placid.
"You're ready to see him?" Summer asked, confused at his mood.
"Yeah. I mean, I wish I had known he was coming but still…I need to see him," Ryan said quietly.
"Okay, Ryan. Let's go."
*****