"So this is Ryan's infamous apartment," Gaby grinned, stepping inside.
"Dude, it's trashed," Ryan said.
"Sorry. Seth was supposed to clean this up…" Luke sighed.
""What the hell happened?" Ryan asked. Pizza boxes and empty soda cans were scattered around the apartment.
"Seth and Trey come by pretty regularly. We've taught Summer to play cards," Luke replied.
"Ooh, card sharks. Ryan taught me once, but he wouldn't teach me his tricks," Gaby grinned.
"Chino never gives away his secrets," Luke agreed.
"That's why they're secrets."
"So. Where can I crash?" Gaby asked.
"Well, there's my bed or Luke's bed or the couch…" Ryan replied.
"I'm sorry, Luke, but I just don't know you well enough to share your bed just yet," Gaby said.
"There'll be time for that later," Luke grinned.
"Let's go to bed. You guys can flirt later," Ryan scoffed.
Gaby followed him to his bedroom. "You okay, kid?"
"Yeah…"
"You're handling all this pretty well…"
Ryan sat down on the bed. "I'm just remembering how to put my face on."
"Ryan…"
"I'm okay. Let's get some sleep," Ryan said. He pulled his shoes off and stretched out on the bed. Gaby curled up beside him and put her arms around him.
"Are you sure you're okay?" She whispered.
"Yeah, Gaby. Thanks."
------------------------------------------------
Ryan slept fitfully for a couple of hours but his dreams were haunted with visions of Marissa Guilt. He couldn't shake the dreams of her blood on his hands. How he couldn't love her the way he should have. How he left her. How he hated her.
Finally, he silently slipped out of Gaby's arms and walked out into the main room. It was nice to be home, even though the apartment was more of Luke's home these days. He went into the bathroom and took a hot shower and got dressed in fresh clothes. He sat down in the kitchen and lit a cigarette.
He knew that he couldn't have saved Marissa. He knew. But he felt like he'd failed. If she'd gotten well, or at least better, it might have been worth something. But she was dead and he didn't know how he was supposed to feel. The only emotion he could identify was guilt.
"Hey. Why aren't you sleeping?" Summer stepped in.
He didn't reply, he just held open his arms and she embraced him.
"Can't sleep," He murmured.
"You smell good."
"Thanks. You, too."
"What's up?" Summer asked, settling into his lap. Their relationship was still undefined but they automatically needed to be close to each other.
"Tired. How's Jimmy?" Ryan asked.
"Sleeping when we left. Seth and I brought Kaitlyn over here to get some rest," Summer said. "She wanted to see you."
"How is she?"
"She's a strong kid to have made it this long with Julie Cooper."
Seth stepped in with Kaitlyn.
"Hey, kid," Ryan smiled. Summer vacated his lap as the young girl embraced him.
"Ryan…I missed you…" She said.
"You've grown, like, a foot since I've seen you!" Ryan grinned.
"Shut up," She laughed.
"How're you doing?" Ryan asked. Seth and Summer gave them some privacy.
"I'm okay," She answered. She was a mini mirror image of Marissa but Ryan considered her a little sister. She called him about once a week to talk and check on her father. "Daddy's pretty upset but I think it's mainly because of Mom."
"How are you?"
"She was my sister and I loved her…but she's been gone a long time," Kaitlyn said quietly. "Where were you?"
"New York."
"You look awful."
"Thanks," Ryan grinned.
"What were you doing in New York?"
"Hanging out with my friends Gaby and Anna," Ryan answered. "You'll meet Gaby later…"
"She your girlfriend?" Kaitlyn teased.
"No, I don't have a girlfriend, Kaity…"
"Saving yourself for me?" She grinned.
"Is Kaitlyn trying to pick you up?" Seth smiled, entering.
"I'm out of his league," Kaitlyn replied.
Ryan started to tickle her and she squealed. Summer entered and smiled, seeing how good Ryan was with the pre-teen.
"Kaity, we brought you here so you could get some sleep," Seth said.
Kaitlyn stuck her tongue out at him.
"He's right. It's going to be a harsh couple of days. I'll help you get settled," Ryan said. He cleaned off the couch and gave her a pillow and a blanket.
Ryan's watch started to beep and he joined Seth and Summer in the kitchen. "Time to eat."
"What?" Seth asked, confused.
"I'm on a schedule," Ryan replied. He went to the fridge and opened it.
"Your watch is set?"
"Yeah. Gaby's idea," He replied.
Gaby walked in. "Time to eat," She yawned.
"See?" Ryan grinned. "Gaby, this is Summer and you remember Seth."
"Ah, the other woman," Gaby teased.
"I could say the same thing about you," Summer replied, shaking her hand.
"We'll have to order something, Luke hasn't kept the fridge stocked," Ryan told Gaby.
"I'm still wondering about the synchronized eating," Seth smiled, offering Gaby the delivery menus.
"I used to have an eating disorder," Gaby said evenly. "I never feel like eating, but this way, I make myself. Ryan won't eat unless you force him so I got him on the same schedule."
"Sounds like a good plan," Seth nodded.
"Except for the whole time zones part," Ryan muttered.
"I'm going to go home and get some sleep. I'll see you in a couple of hours, okay?" Seth gave Ryan a friendly hug.
"Yeah. Thanks, man."
Summer hesitated, clearly not wanting to leave.
"Why don't you go catch a couple of hours in my bed, Summer? Gaby and I will be fine here," Ryan said. Gaby shoved him. "What?"
"Go talk to her. Maybe she can get you to sleep. I'll order the food."
"You don't even know the address," Ryan protested.
"I'll deal. You, go," Gaby scolded. "I know what you like and you can pay when it gets here."
"I like her," Summer smiled as she took Ryan's arm and pulled him into his bedroom.
"Yeah. You haven't tried to scratch her eyes out yet," Ryan replied.
"I told you I was sorry…I'm so damned glad to see you that I don't care who she is…I do wonder if you have any unattractive friends, though," Summer teased as she sat down on his bed.
"Gaby is a friend…"
"I know, I'm teasing," She smiled as he settled beside her. "Tired?"
"Can't really sleep."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Will you lie down with me, at least?" She asked quietly.
"Yeah. I will."
She stretched out and he put his arms around her.
"There's nothing you could've done if you had been here. She went fast…she didn't suffer…"
"I know, Summer."
"And if you hadn't tried to help her, she would have never been able to come back from the accident, she would have never been able to talk to her father…"
"Then he would have never had to find out what kind of person she was," He whispered.
"Ryan…"
"It sucks, Summer."
"I know."
"I should've been here."
"Would you have been able to handle it? I mean…"
"I don't know. I should've been here for Jimmy, for you…"
"We're fine, Ryan. I'm glad you're back. I'm glad you're better…"
"I needed to get away. I needed to have a little space. But I missed the hell out of everyone," Ryan admitted.
"We missed you, too. Seth's been bouncing off the walls with worry. And he's been hanging out with Luke, which is just totally weird."
Ryan smiled. "Get some sleep, Summer. I'm not going anywhere."
"You better not. You can go eat, Ry. Maybe you can lie down with me after you eat."
"Deal," Ryan said. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.
"Aww. Thanks," She laughed.
Ryan left her alone and returned to the kitchen. Gaby was by the door, talking to Ryan's neighbor.
"What's up?"
"Your friend accidentally got your food delivered to my house. But at least I got a free autograph," The younger man told Ryan.
"Sorry about that," Ryan laughed.
"Thanks for bringing it over, Dan," Gaby smiled, flushed with embarrassment.
"No problem. Nice to meet you, Gabrielle."
Ryan closed the door. "Making friends already?"
"Maybe," Gaby laughed, carrying the food to the table.
"So, what's on the menu?" Ryan asked, sitting down across from him.
"Chinese. Orange chicken for you, hot and spicy like you like it and sesame chicken for me. Rice and lo mien on the side and won ton soup for later."
"Good call."