Nothing Shocking

By Nicolle

1st Note: Very OOC.

2nd Note: One Shot! Barely a PG-13 rating.

3rd Note: I apologize in advance. I was bored at work today.

Disclaimer: Star Ocean belongs to Tri-Ace/Ubisoft/Square-Enix.

WARNING! DO NOT EAT OR DRINK WHILE READING THIS FIC! You have been warned. Warning courtesy of the betas.

Peppita and Roger sat outside the door to the room, both cursing the lack of a keyhole to look through. The conversation from the two inside sounded really, really, naughty.

Mirage sighed. "Look, Albel, I know what I'm doing. Just hold still and let me do the work."

There was a pause and Albel moaned. "Oh, that does feel good..."

"You just remember that."

"Move like that again."

"Say please."

"Please," he begged and then moaned again. "Oh gods, Mirage."

Peppita gasped and Roger put a hand over her mouth. "Hush! Do you want them to hear?"

"Hear what?" Cliff asked.

Roger swallowed hard and turned to look at imposing form of the Klausian giving him the glare to end all glares. "Uh..."

"Mirage and Albel are doing... you know... in there." Peppita whispered and pointed to the door.

Cliff blinked and was suddenly very angry. "That little bastard, if he's making a move on..." He pulled the door open and slammed it shut behind him.

Peppita and Roger both moved closer to the door to listen.

"Hey, Cliff," Mirage said. "Would you mind getting that bottle of lotion for me off the shelf? Great. Just pour some in my hand."

"Do you think you can handle that by yourself, Mirage?"

"Well, Cliff. If you think you need to help..."

A moment later.

"Ouch! Watch it, you blonde ogre! That hurt!"

"Put a sock in it, Albel. It won't hurt in another second, so stop being such a baby."

"Worm, you'd be the one complaining that if you were on the receiving end."

Roger and Peppita looked at each other, eyes wide. Both clapped there hands over their mouths.

"Are you two all right?" Sophia asked as she knelt over them.

"I think they're doing something bad in there," Peppita whispered.

Sophia frowned and opened the door, shutting it behind her.

"Oh!"

"Sophia, would you mind helping us out here? You're far more gentle than the blonde ape," Albel said.

"Uh... Oh! Sure! Wow..."

"Put your hands right there," the Captain said.

"Wow... It's really soft and really hard at the same time."

Peppita fainted in the hall. Roger caught her and fanned her with his hat.

Nel came down the hall and stopped over Roger. "What happened? Are you both okay?"

"Something's going on in there and it's got to be really bad!"

Nel blinked. "Who's in there now?"

"Mirage, Cliff, Sophia, and Albel."

"Hmm. Well, if Albel is in there, it probably isn't good." She opened the door and shut it behind her.

"Hey, Nel," Cliff said, "Come join the fun."

"Whoa. That's a big one, Albel."

"It's just for you, Nel. Come here and get this oaf off me. I much prefer a woman's touch."

"And what if I were Fayt?"

"Shut up, maggot."

"Your sweet nothings are so tender to the ear."

Albel snorted.

Silence.

Sophia piped up, "You're going to have to take that off, Nel."

The sound of clothing hitting the floor came through the door.

Albel moaned. "Oh yeah. That's the spot."

Roger dropped Peppita and leaned against the wall. "Oh man!"

He looked up and saw Fayt. "Fayt! I think they're doing something really bad in there!"

Fayt put a hand on his hip. "Like what?"

"Well, you know." He gestured with his hands. "And... you know..." He gestured again.

Fayt blushed.

"And Sophia's in there with them!"

"Sophia!"

Fayt opened the door. Inside, Sophia and Nel were massaging Albel's burn scarred arm while Mirage rewrapped it. Cliff leaned against the wall making faces at Sophia and leaving her in giggles. Nel, her gloves on the floor, had found a pressure point and Albel looked to be in heaven.

"Hey Fayt," Cliff called. "You all right? You look flushed."

Fayt shook his head. "Nah. It's cool." He looked over his shoulder at Roger. The boy squeaked and ran for it.