Severus Snape sat down on the bedside chair after nervously pacing the room. She was still unconscious. The Healers were saying that there would be no permanent damage, and that the spell would wear off soon, but as much as he wanted to believe that, he would have much preferred her to wake up so he could see for himself.

The last few hours had been spent in self-flagellation. He should have suspected a trap. He should have taken precautions. He should have figured out a way to get a warning out before it was almost too late. So many should-haves.

Carefully, he laid a hand on her forehead, brushing her hair back. She was so pale.

He snatched his hand back with an almost guilty look when he heard the knock on the door. It opened, and Molly Weasley stuck her head in for about the third time that day. "Is she awake yet?"

"No. No change." Severus rose from the chair and leaned back into a corner of the room, allowing Molly to take his place.

"Why could the stupid girl not stay where she was supposed to be," he said bitterly, almost to himself. Molly's seemed to listen less his words to than to the tone of his voice and the look on his face as he spoke.

"It's not your fault, you know," she said calmly. "You had no way to prevent any of this."

Severus snorted.

Not his fault that the Order had been caught in a trap that could have cost them a whole lot more than it did, and that five Muggles were dead.

Not his fault, that the Order had been neatly sidetracked to a cow barn in Cornwall, while elsewhere another group of Death Eaters had rendezvoused with a flurry of Dementors and sprung many of the Dark Lord's most loyal servants out of Azkaban.

Not his fault Harry Potter was in a room two floors up from where Severus stood, miraculously still alive.

Today had not been just the Muggle-baiting session he had thought it would be, a minor incident. It had been the Dark Lord's official declaration of war on the rest of the Wizarding world. From now on, the gloves were off.

He snorted again. He should have known. He should have found some way to prevent this. Fine spy he was.

- - -

At that moment a small moan drew their attention back to the girl on the bed. Marya's head was turning slightly, her hands making grasping motions at the blanket that was covering her.

There was darkness, disorientation. Marya had no idea where up or down was. She was floating aimlessly, driftling, tumbling. At the same time, there was a feeling of incredible weight, pushing on her from all sides, stifling and suffocating her. She was trying to fight it. There was something she should remember, something terribly important...

Slowly the dark became less oppressive; the weight lifted slightly. There had been darkness, and green light, and noises...something had happened...

Suddenly, a picture snapped into focus, the last thing she remembered – Remus Lupin's outstretched arms blocking her way. She had struggled to get away, and all of a sudden his arms had turned into dead weight...

"Remus?" Marya's eyes flew open and she looked wildly into Molly's face. Severus flinched as if something had bit him. Quickly and quietly, he left the room.

"He's fine Marya, don't fret," Molly said soothingly. "He is biggerand stronger than you; he already woke up a couple of hours ago. Really, he will be just fine...," Molly continued to stroke Marya's hair, talking to her like she would to a hurt child.

The weight threatened to overwhelm her again. Marya was fighting to hold onto this shred of consciousness. There is something else, something I need to know, something I need to remember, oh God, help me remember...

And then the memory came back with all its horror. Marya struggled up, grabbing Molly's arm. "Severus. How about Severus?" Her voice was panicky, semi-hysterical.

Molly gently pushed her back on the pillows, "Shh. He is alright – he is right..." Looking around, she just now noticed that the Potions master had left. "Well, he was right here just a minute ago."

"He fell...," Marya whispered, her voice trailing off as relief flooded over her. He had been here. He was alright.

Molly spoke softly."Well, from what I've heard, he got hit by a pretty nasty curse, but Emmeline managed to get him mobile enough to disapparate. Not one minute too early, I think. All the Death Eaters pulled out just a bit after the Ministry people showed up. Severus just got a few nasty bruises and a broken wrist. He's fine. Go to sleep now. Go to sleep..."

Marya allowed herself to drift off to the soothing sound of Molly's voice. It had taken every once of strength to hold on as long as she had. She could sleep now, in peace.

- - -

Severus leaned against the wall outside the shut door for just a second, closing his eyes in complete exhaustion. He had not had any sleep for close to 72 hours now. That would be the explanation for the heaviness that filled his being. Even the energizing potion he had talked one of the Healers into giving him was not accomplishing much any more. Forcing himself to move, he walked down the corridor. There was nothing he could do here any more. He might as well go back to Hogwarts.

As he walked down the long hallway, he glanced through an open door. For a second he stopped short, pressed against the wall. The occupants of the room were oblivious to his presence.

Nymphadora Tonks sat on the edge of the bed, one hand caressing Remus Lupin's face.

He was looking up at her, neither of them speaking, the fingers of his hand interlaced with hers.

Severus let out a low hiss as he continued on. So the werewolf wasn't putting all his eggs in one basket, was he? He should have killed him while he could...

- - -

Marya stepped out of the fireplace in her room, and brushed the ashes off her cloak. She was still a bit the worse for wear, but it had only taken her a couple days to recover enough to return to Hogwarts. She had waited for Severus to come back, but he had never shown.

She changed into a comfortable robe, and made her way down to the staff room. The last image she had of him still kept playing in front of her eyes at the most unexpected times, and she needed to replace it with something else. She needed to see him.

Professor Flitwick greeted her warmly, and pulled up a chair. They had only been told that she had been ill, and she certainly looked the part. Chatting with her colleagues, thanking them for their concern, she kept scanning the room. After a short time, she excused herself, and found her way down to the dungeons.

The door to Snape's dungeon was open. She could see him, leaning over a steaming cauldron, totally focused on his task. For several minutes she just stood watching. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest. He looked so tired, so pale. She just wanted to...with an effort, she banished the thought from her mind, and softly knocked on the massive door frame.

He looked up. For a second, an expression flitted across his face she did not have time to recognize. As quick as it had come, it disappeared, leaving his face as impassive as usual.

"You are back."

"Yes," Marya said awkwardly. "I just wanted to come by and thank you for your concern. Molly Weasley told me you came and checked on me..."

"You are recovered?" he asked, emotionlessly.

"For the most part. I know you were hurt – are you well again?"

"Just fine." There was a note of derision in his voice. "And as I hear that Remus Lupin has quite recovered from the result of your stupidity as well, we are all just fine."

Marya bit back tears. "I know, I should have stayed, but..."

"You endangered not only yourself, but other members of the Order," he interrupted, his voice cold and steely. "Do you not have the sense of a flubberworm? What on earth possessed you to run out there like that? You promised you would stay behind the wall. Why in the name of Merlin didn't you?"

"I couldn't...I just couldn't..." she whispered. In the back of her mind, she heard Aunt Hannah's voice – "Tell him...You don't want regrets..." One look at his face, and she knew that it was hopeless. She couldn't explain. "I better go."

As she walked down the dank and dark pathway, she made her decision. She just couldn't do this any more.

- - -

Marya walked up to the gargoyle, and after giving the password ("gummy worms"), it let her through to the winding staircase that lead up to her god-father's study. There was no answer when she knocked on the door.

"Hello?" Trying the handle, she found the door open. The office was deserted, except for the magnificent bird on its perch.

"Hello, Fawkes," Marya said politely. "I don't expect the Headmaster is around, is he?"

She had hoped he would be here, but it really was too much to expect at the present time. She walked over to the desk, and borrowed a quill and a piece of parchment. Dipping the quill into the bottle of purple ink she found next to it, she sat for a minute and thought. Then, she wrote with quick and decisive strokes.

Dear Uncle Albus,

I am sorry I am not able to tell you in person, but I don't know when I will next see you. It is with deep regret that I have to let you know that I will not be returning to Hogwarts next year. Just in case, I made inquiries as to the possibility of employment while at St. Mungo's, and they are prepared to take me back.

I think I will be in a better position to help the Order there, anyways.

I hope I am not leaving you in too much of a lurch, but I thought it better to tell you now so you have the whole summer to find yourself a replacement Ancient Runes mistress (or master, as the case may be.)

I have loved teaching and my students, but there is something personal that just makes it too hard for me to stay here. I hope you will forgive me. I am sure I am disappointing you, but really, I tried my best.

With love,

Marya

She sealed the letter, and left it on the desk, where he would be sure to find it. She just couldn't do this any longer. It would be hard enough to see Severus at Order meetings, but she just couldn't face the prospect of another year of this exquisite torture every day. Only three more days, and the term would be over; the summer holiday would start. Then, she would be free to go.

A/N:

lalaluu, your reviews made me positively blush! Thank you!

vanessa/CreationsofWriting - thank you for the compliments! I know where my bit of fluff falls in the grand scheme of things, but it has been a nice bit of escapism for me, and I am glad you are enjoying it!

Morrolan - well, with the next chapter, the tension should be well over :-)

Nistrale, crazy-physco, Hippy Gipsy, xkuroxshinobix, and everyone else who has reviewed - thank you for making my first fan fiction experience so enjoyable!

I am posting the next chapter simultaneously, and that will be pretty much the end... I have sort of an epilogue chapter planned after that, and that will be it.

So review after the next chapter and give me the whole skinny - what were your favorite bits? What stunk? Too much dialogue? Not enough dialogue? Too purple-prose? (Even though with this being billed as an old fashioned romance, I am entitled to some purple, LOL)

Anyways, let me know what you thought of the story, and what I could improve on the next one...