Day of Mourning

Disclaimer: I give up, Tracy put this idea in my head. But this is also the fault of the Research Paper of Doom, which is my fault for choosing the stupid topic in the first place. Although if no one had passed the Patriot Act, I wouldn't have chosen it b/c it wouldn't be an issue and then I wouldn't be going slowly mad so I guess this bit of drabble is actually the fault of the Congress of the United States of America. Which means that if you don't like this fic you have to flame them, but thanks to them passing the Patriot Act they can probably throw you in jail for that. In other words: Flame at your own risk.

Oh yeah, and the characters here are not mine. They're Janet's. I'll put them right back where I found them when we're done. Except Ranger. I have to detain him for questioning.

Ahem. Now that the longest disclaimer ever is over with, on to the drabble.

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I walked into Shorty's, ignoring the usual nagging discomfort I always felt in a place like this. I was a double minority here: white and female. Probably I would been served up as lunch normally, but I had a feeling I was tolerated on Ranger's behalf. As enticing as it might be to torment some stupid white girl, it wasn't good sense to piss off her crazed mercenary friend.

I saw Ranger sitting in his usual spot, back to the wall, lurking in the shadows. Typical, I thought and smiled as I headed toward him. He looked more delicious than the pizza the waitress was bringing- hair back in the ponytail, painted-on black t-shirt, black cargos, black boots. His eyes swept over me as I sat down.

I don't have that knock-their-panties-off sex appeal my companion has, but I admit that today I looked hot. My hair was tamed into waves, I had gone light on the make-up with only a little navy eyeliner and lip gloss to highlight my better features, but my low-slung jeans and the tank top definitely made up for it.

"Looking good, Babe,' he said, his mouth turning up in his barely-there smile. I grinned at him.

"A girl can only do flannels and work boots so long before she goes nuts," I said.

"You said you needed to talk to me?" he prodded as he dished out the pizza.

I sighed and took a piece but for once I just kind of looked at it. I wasn't really all that hungry today. I was too nervous.

"Yeah, I did. I mean, I do…" I groaned and pushed the pizza away. Ranger's eyebrow lifted.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

"Fine," I tried to smile. I almost made it, too. "Just nervous?" Ranger smiled again.

"Still scared of me?" I rolled my eyes.

"Only occasionally. But today I'm more scared of what Grandma Bella is going to do to me." He waited patiently for me to explain myself. I rested my chin in my hand and looked at him, meeting his eyes. "I'm breaking up with Joe. Permanently."

Ranger shook his head. "You've done that before."

"No. I mean the final kind of break up. See, there's someone else…" Ranger sat back in his seat. Ah, had his attention now.

"Who?"

I smiled. I couldn't help it. "It's not important. Just someone."

"Stephanie," he said, leaning forward. "Tell me."

Uh-oh, scary mercenary look.

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah. It matters."

"Look, this person and I… we kind of got to be friends a while ago, and it just went somewhere, you know?" I said, and as my mind drifted to that first, perfect night I smiled, my body tingling at the memory. "I fell in love. And I realized, I don't love Joe like that, and I don't think I ever could. It's not anyone's fault, it's just how it is."

"Babe," Ranger was frowning. "I told you to go back to Morelli because-"

"Shh," I cut him off, and reached across the table, to take his hand. "I know. It was good advice Ranger. But things change. I'm not who I was then, and I don't want that life anymore." He looked down at our hands as if he was surprised.

Before he could say anything, though, my cell phone began to play the Charlie's Angels theme. I answered it, and my heart nearly skipped a beat when I heard the voice on the other end.

"No. I haven't told him yet. I'm with Ranger… You what?… Are you okay?… I'll see you in fifteen."

I stood up, and tossed down a few bills for the tip.

"I have to go, Ranger," I said. "It's an emergency."

"Babe," his hand caught my wrist. "I know you might think everything's changed, but my life hasn't, it still doesn't-"

"What are you talking about?" I blinked. Had I lost the thread of this conversation somewhere?

"I mean, I'm not relationship material. Are you still sure you want to break up with Morelli?"

Oh god. He didn't know!

"Ranger… I wasn't talking about you. I mean… I love you and all, seriously I do. But I'm not in love with you either. I'm in love with-" I stopped myself. I thought he knew! How did he not know? Damn it. Well, maybe it would be best to get this over with all in one day.

I met his eyes again, looked into those dark pools that had always fascinated me so much. "I'm in love with Jeanne Ellen. We're moving in together," I said as quickly as I possibly could. Then I grinned as another thought occurred to me. "Hey, you said you'd ruin me for other men," I said with a laugh.

The hand on my wrist went slack, and Ranger's jaw dropped. He rocked backward in his chair, his eyes dazed. If it hadn't been so scary, I would have been laughing my ass off and snapping a Polaroid.

As it was, I turned and fled the restaurant, leaving him to his confusion.

Ranger watched Stephanie walk out the door. He should have followed her- he had a meeting at RangeMan in thirty minutes. He stayed where he was.

"I'm in love with Jeanne Ellen. We're moving in together."

"I'm in love with Jeanne Ellen."

The words echoed in his mind. He signaled the waitress. "Beer," he said. "And tequila. Double shot."

"You said you'd ruin me for other men," she laughed in his mind. He cringed and downed the liquor.

Tank found him halfway through the first bottle of tequila.

"Man, what the hell are you doing here?" his friend demanded as he walked toward him, then stopped short when he saw the bottle. "Chrust, Ric. It's barely after noon!"

"She's breaking up with him," he said by way of response. Tank blinked.

"You mean Stephanie and the cop?" At Ranger's nod, he walked closer.

"Shouldn't you be celebrating, man? You been waitin' for that for a while."

"You didn't let me finish. She's breaking up with him for Jeanne Ellen."

Tank stared at him.

"You wanna clarify that one, Ric?"

"Stephanie and Jeanne Ellen are, and I quote, 'in love' and are moving in together."

Tank lowered himself into the seat Stephanie had vacated hours ago. "Give me that bottle," he said softly.

Ranger's lips curled into a smirk as the other man downed several gulps. "Exactly my point." Tank ignored him and waved the waitress over.

"Another bottle of Cuervo," he rumbled.

"Don't you have work to do?" Ranger asked, amused.

"After news like that? That two of the finest asses in Trenton be permanently unavailable? Fuck, boss. It's five o'clock somewhere."

Ranger raised his glass in agreement.

Another hour passed before Joe Morelli stumbled through the door and headed straight for the bar. "Vodka," he ordered. "A full bottle."

The bartender just looked at him. "You sure about that?" The look Joe gave him could have frozen Hell itself. "Guess so. Must be one o' them days," the man said, shaking his head and looked back over to the two men in black guzzling tequila like water. Joe's eyes followed his gaze. Picking up his own bottle, he wandered over.

"Manoso," he said quietly. Ranger grinned at the other man's disheveled state.

"You got the news too, huh?"

"Yeah, I got the news," Joe sighed.

"Take a load off, man," Tank pushed another chair Joe's way. "This is a day of mourning."

"I'll drink to that," he said, taking a painful swig of the vodka.