Note: I think I've read up to chapter 34, which is when this
is meant to take place, as far as I know.
"Good Lord deliver us,/The Unicorn is not carnivorous!" - William Rose Benét, "How
to Catch Unicorns"
The Unicorn Is Not Carnivorous
There is an old joke that goes: Would you like to see me
balance an elephant with one hand? You would? Then go out and find me an
elephant with one hand!
Logically, there is no danger in keeping a
fully tamed animal by one's side at all times; the trick, as in the joke about
the elephant, is in finding the fully tamed animal. For no matter how placid or
docile or dully domesticated a creature may seem, he retains within the
reptilian crevasse of his gelatinous grey matter the capacity for violence
worthy of a beast. It may never see the light of day, but it is there
regardless. Even man, who nauseatingly refers to himself as 'civilized,' holds
within his mind the animal of which he was borne. And he holds it poorly; as a
lightweight stumbles over a glass or two of wine, man so easily becomes
intoxicated by the smell of blood and the thrill of viciousness.
There is
something mildly distressing about waiting for Raito to be delivered unto him;
not the anticipation, but the wait. The weight.
Turning cheap and dirty tricks with words, that's what jokes are. A joke is a
little lie and, oh, he hates liars. Lyres. The
homophone irks him greatly, that stupendous offender of insinuating small
confusions and timorous misdirections.
He is waiting to be chained to
another person, and that is distressing enough. Human beings make poor pets;
and, anyway, his childhood kitten had been hit by an automobile and its brains
had been ground into the asphalt by the grooves of the rubber tires. He knows
that he will not be able to feed and water and ignore another human being. Raito
will not be content to curl up beside his chair and lick crumbs from empty
plates. What a pity, he thinks. What a pity, for such a fine pet he'd make,
though never a tame pet.
The only tame animal is one that is dead. He
recalls the dusty feathers of barn owls with wings outspread, the false glitter
of an aluminum foil pond guarded over by the sagging body of a fox forever
poised to take a drink, and the hard, accusing glass eyes of the head of a deer
with peeling antlers and posthumous mange. The buck's head and torso had been
mounted above the old English fireplace, and he had come to the logical
conclusion that it had somehow become stuck while sojourning on its journey
through the walls; and yet, the thing's hindquarters did not emerge on the
opposite side as expected. Where was its body? Gone, was the answer, severed and
perhaps eaten long ago. But those replacement eyes still managed to hold a
disconcerting air of ancestral dignity and menace, and so to this day he cannot
stomach the thought of venison.
He does not miss the pets that have died,
nor the people who have gone away; he yearns,
sometimes, for the tantalizing familiarity such entities offer when nostalgia
dredges the pools of memory and he thinks paradise is found in the act of
reliving. But he does not miss them in any unique sense. Kittens can be
replaced, and there is no shortage of people infesting the Earth. He wonders,
however, whether he will miss Kira; or, rather, the sense of purpose Kira gives
him. There are other purposes in the world, of course, and he is not naïve
enough to think differently. But he will not be surprised if he finds himself in
mourning after closing the Kira case; it would not be his first experience with
such disquieting feelings, and he is sure he'd never be able to allow it to be
his last.
The glass cases of natural history museums enclosed careful and
meticulous exhibits that would engage him for hours as he stood, transfixed,
before their imposing false habitats and tried to imprint every detail in his
memory. A fearsome lion felling a camel and the rider upon its back was forever
suspended in that instant as larger-than-life casualties of a moment that would
never end, that paralyzing second of fear before swift
death overtook the weaker creatures. The towering, perforated structures of
ancient dinosaur bones and smooth curves of mammoth tusks, and the humble,
earthy skeletons of primitive man shared the vast common space and vied
shamelessly for his continued attention. But it was a shelf of clay
reconstructions and poorly preserved corpses that never failed to attract his
curiosity; no matter how shoddy the display, he always studied it, diligently
absorbing the same information over and over as he gingerly relaxed his
worldview enough to allow himself to process such blatant contradictions. The
Great Auk, the moa, the Passenger Pigeon, the Quagga, the Thylacine, and even
the ubiquitous dodo all grazed upon false grasses and flapped their useless
wings in their sedentary glass cages. The dinosaurs were extinct too, of course,
as were the mastodons and saber-toothed cats; yet it was somehow easier to
accept the annihilation of those larger-than-imagination creatures whose
existence was never recorded by a literate human hand. They are real, of course,
but in such an abstract way that he barely processes or cares about the nature
of their reality.
But the decaying remnants of species decimated,
directly or indirectly, by humanity's influence induced a kind of paradoxical
paranoia within him. He wanted to tell the world to look harder for these lost
animals, to urge the cryptozoologists to go forth on his behalf and correct
these widespread mistakes; surely it's not possible that every member of those
names listed could have died without leaving behind some kind of posterity?
Because, yes, they rediscovered the Aye-Aye and the Coelacanth and the
Long-legged Warbler, so perhaps they may one day uncover a tame specimen of
homo sapiens living out-of-sight in the
thickest of underbrush in the darkest of forests. And one day gentle men may
freely walk the planet without fear.
Recalling these thoughts from
day-trips taken so early in his short life, he finds himself perilously close to
wanting to agree with Kira. Yes, let us eliminate the criminal element, leaving
behind only the docile and domesticated men who have been thoroughly lobotomized
by civilization. Together, they could put into motion the most beneficial
extinction the world has ever seen, with their own coupled suicide pact marking
the climactic finish. Hostility and violence within the sentient would
cross-breed into nothingness, and the pleasant monotony of Eden would be restored
without the intervention of any god or higher power… only that of two higher
minds possessing the foresight others never had.
But something stubborn
within him always intervenes. Is it ethics? Is it self-preservation? Is it a
fear of the unknown, or even just the simple fear of being wrong? He can't say.
Perhaps it all of this. Perhaps
none.
At his most cynical, he knows that the tame man is a myth.
Like the gryphon, the pegasus, and the gorgon, gentle
men are accessible only in imagination. They serve as metaphors, allegories, and
dreams. And, like all dreams, their concept may one day fade. No self-righteous
quest of right or wrong will make dreams any more true;
like a search for the Holy Grail, it is a thing that is fruitless to pursue.
Only the most holy and pure could ever look upon the cup of Christ, and only a
virgin could attract the flawless unicorn. Tales preserved from ancient worlds
describe an impossible menagerie of beasts and spirits reflecting the deepest
and darkest of human wants and needs. The absurdity of the petty, foolish,
greedy, and nasty human soul birthed existences a tame man could not begin to
fathom. The human race traded peace and perfection for beauty and knowledge of a
fundamentally flawed universe, and did so gladly.
He is ninety-nine
percent sure that Raito will not bite him, even when provoked. And, in all the
world of wild and unpredictable men, he is only unequivocally afraid of that one
percent.
