Chapter 3
I woke up staring at my ceiling. Oh good, I knew where I was. Too bad I also knew there was someone in the bed with me. Shit! I couldn't have done something stupid last night, right? I mean, I had enough male problems running around, I didn't need a new one... I turned my head to see who my sleeping companion was.
Haley was curled up on the opposite edge of the bed, holding a teddy bear I didn't remember seeing before. She looked about twelve... no wonder she had problems getting dates, they probably thought she was jailbait. Then again, I don't remember thinking she was twelve last night... wait, last night... Did I remember last night?
Let's see, I had opted out of picking up my skips and spent an ungodly amount of time getting ready- I had forgotten how much fun it was to have someone else to get ready with- and then we took a taxi to the club at Haley's insistence. She couldn't drive Big Blue and I was probably not going to remain sober, so it was a good idea. Sally was playing. We met up with Lula and Connie... Ah. There was what was causing the distress: Margaritas. Lots of them. We danced. Sally had introduced Haley to the manager. More Margaritas. Then it all became a big happy blur.
I must not have done anything too stupid. Haley was here, and we were both alive. Reassured, I decided to get up. I got as far as sitting upright before I reevaluated my situation and changed my plan to a swift retreat back to bed. Ranger would have been so proud!
The next time I woke up to a resounding crash and a muffled shriek. I sat up, ignoring the wave of dizziness, and pulled my gun off my nightstand. Just what I needed, some psycho stalker breaking in right before I was supposed to move out anyway, and scaring my cousin into a therapist's office... I stalked down the hall cautiously, gun ready, until I caught sight of what had caused the commotion, and I let it sag to my side in relief.
Ranger was helping Haley off the floor. Apparently she'd tripped over one of the kitchen chairs. :"Need to be more aware of your surroundings, kiddo:" he told her. I grinned. Finally someone else for him to lecture! Haley just glared at him. Ranger's lips quirked, like he was trying not to smile.
"You could just be courteous and make some noise when you enter a room," she said before turning to me. "You didn't warn me your friends pick locks!"
"Sorry," I said. "I kind of forget it's not normal." Haley rolled her eyes, and left.
"I'm going to go do something with the nightmare on my head!" she called back. I had to agree- she really did have my hair. I winced and tried not to think what my own hair looked like this morning.
I turned my attention to Ranger. "Why are you here so early?"
"Babe, it's noon," he said, shaking his head.
"Oh." Time flies when you're hung over.
"Just came by to see if you're still up for the job. Heard you had a late night," he looked amused. He didn't even have to add the 'again' part. My social life had certainly picked up with Haley's arrival.
"Yeah, of course I am," I told him. I couldn't believe he'd think I'd welch out! "I need to pick up Mooner and Eula today... and what time were we going?"
"Eight thirty," he said, still watching me closely. I fidgeted.
"Sounds good. Where are we..." I trailed off as he stepped closer. I took a deep breath and instantly regretted it as his scent swept me away. Bulgari and Ranger- the combo is as good as bottled pheromones. I looked up into his chocolate eyes and what was left of my sanity flew completely out the window. He leaned down and brushed his lips to mine. Normally Ranger kisses are powerful, passionate, take-no-prisoners, but this was soft, just his lips against mine. It was gentle, if that word can ever be applied to Rambo, and it was heaven. His arms wrapped around me, and I never wanted this to end. This was bliss.
He pulled away, eventually, and I wanted to cry. "Jesus, Babe," he whispered, resting his cheek against my hair. I took some comfort in the fact that he seemed to need a recovery period too. Then he stepped away and was out the door before I could say anything. Probably for the best. I think I might have begged him to take me to bed then and there if he had stayed. Before I could really think about what I might have done, the phone rang.
Crap, probably my mother wanting to know where the hell I've been. I let the answering machine get it, and rifled through the fridge, looking for something edible. I nearly banged my head on the shelf when Sally's voice came through the speaker. "Fucking A, dudettes! Get the hell up! Haley, chica, Julian said he's free at three. I think he's fucking gonna give you that job! Call me, ok?" And he hung up.
A job? At a nightclub? Her parents were going to kill me. Maybe I should ask Ranger to ship me off to that Third World country. It would be a hell of a lot quicker than what her mother was going to do to me. Marie Thorne-McAllister's temper was a thing of legend, even by Burg standards. The phone rang again. It was probably my mother. It might be Haley's mother. Nope, no way in hell was I answering that thing any time soon.
"Stephanie?" My mother's voice called. "Why haven't you brought your cousin by to see us yet?" she demanded. "I'm making leg of lamb tonight, and double chocolate cake. Try to get here a little early." Click. Well there were tonight's plans.
I still had to pick up Mooner and Eulah, which shouldn't take that long. Then I could swing by the office, get my checks, and take Haley to her interview... then dinner with the family, and a stakeout with Ranger afterward. Ugh. Haley was out of the shower, and rifling through her suitcase and the numerous shopping bags from our excursion with Sally. "Sally said Julian is free at three. He, uh, thinks he's going to give you the job." Haley dropped the shirt she was holding.
"Omigod! That is so awesome! I'm gonna be a waitress," she laughed. "Well, maybe. I shouldn't get my hopes up, right?" She paused, then paled considerably. "How am I gonna get there?"
"I'll take you. I just have to go round up a couple of my skips. Want me to drop you by the office so you and Lula can compare notes on last night?"
Haley jumped to her feet and hugged me tightly. "Thanks, Steph. I'll so make this up to you, as soon as I have a car. Wait! We both need a car- we should go get cars tonight!" she suggested car buying like Mary-Lou would suggest shoes. I sighed, my head was aching again and I really didn't feel up to thinking it all over right now.
"Sounds like a plan to me," I said. "But for now: it's shower time." I took my turn in the shower, and decided after several frustrating minutes to follow Haley's lead and just stuff the 'nightmare on my head' into a ponytail. I got into my usual uniform of docs, jeans, and a stretchy tee, then did some small amount of make-up to cover up the exhaustion from the night before.
Haley apparently was feeling a little rough herself, having had several more daquiris than I had cared to count. In her defense, she had been ordering them 'virgin' but apparently the bartenders felt she needed a bit more of a pick-me-up. They had never even carded her. She was wearing a pair of baggy cargo jeans, white tank top, and white chunky tennis shoes that added couple inches to her height. Come to think of it, I hadn't seen Haley in shoes that didn't make her at least that much taller... must be a short girl thing. She shoved a white newsboy cap on her head, added her Oakleys and looked at me expectantly.
"All right. Let's go," I sighed. "But we need to stop by Mickey D's. I need a hangover cure."
Two large cokes and super sized fries later, we pulled up to the office. And my head still hurt, and I still felt a little queasy. What the hell had we done last night?
Connie and Lula were both in the office, looking a little worse for wear. Lula was kneeling by the filing cabinets, looking a little pale, and Connie was slouched over her desk, head on her arms. "Hey, girls!" Haley said brightly, keeping her voice a little quiet. She was having a headache like the rest of us, I guessed.
Connie mumbled something to her desk. Lula moaned and dropped the files she was holding into an unceremonious pile in the general vicinity of the filing cabinets. She must have been feeling like hell- she was in monochrome brown, for the first time in a very long time. Brown skin, brown hair, brown miniskirt, low heeled brown sandals, lighter brown top- even brown lipstick. She sank onto the couch.
"I ain't never had margaritas like that," she muttered. "Those weren't no ordinary margaritas. Them were suicide margaritas." Haley sighed.
"You didn't drink margaritas all night," she said. I blinked. This was news. We always drank margaritas. "Somewhere in there you all started drinking those test tube drinks they were taking around." Ah. This explained the hangover that wouldn't die.
"Shit, Mini Me, you shoulda stopped us," Lula said accusingly.
"Right. Like anyone can stop you three when you're drunk and determined."
"Mfimfmsunear," mumbled Connie.
"Huh?" I asked her. Without moving her head, she wiggled her right arm. Ah, a couple files were sitting on the edge of her desk, I ambled over and picked on up. "Is Vinnie in?" I asked.
"Not no more," Lula said smugly. "Tol' him if I heard so much as a peep outta that weasel I was gonna bust a cap in his ass. He musta believed me, cause he didn't make no noise till he snuck out the back to go see Joyce. On account of today being his 'therapist session' and all." Yuck.
I looked back at the file I was holding. Clarence Atwater stared belligerently back at me. No neck, squashed nose, muscles on top of muscles, beady black eyes shaved head. Big, ugly, and probably mean, then again if I were named Clarence I would have had an attitude problem too. I checked his stats: Wanted for breaking and entering, several counts of aggravated assault, and manslaughter. Hm, this must be Ranger's pile. I put Clarence back where I found him, and picked one from the other pile.
Dougie's contentedly dazed mugshot stared back at me. Oh good! I could snag two jailbirds with one trip! I looked for the rest of my pile. Apparently Dougie was it for me. Oh well. Ranger could have Clarence.
Today had to be the easiest day I had ever had as a bounty hunter. I found Eula on her usual corner, and all it took was a Hershey bar and ten bucks to convince her to ride downtown with me. Then came Dougie, because he was due in tomorrow. I came in toward the end of a Bewitched retrospective, so I lounged around with him, eating Cheese Doodles until the final episode. Then it was a quick trip to the cop shop, miraculously avoiding Morelli twice in a row, and voila! Stephanie was now $1200 richer. Go me!
The fact that I had been into the police station twice without seeing Morelli worried me though. I hadn't spoken to him since the ultimatum he'd given me the night Haley had shown up. He'd demanded I give up my job or him. And after a day like today, with my confidence on high, I really didn't see his point... just thinking about him felt like taken what Mooner would have called 'a most serious downer.' Maybe Sally and Haley had a point.
No, I loved Morelli. I just didn't love the way he wanted to keep my locked up in a house 'for my own safety.' I wanted to be Wonder Woman. He needed Wonder Wife. Ick. Let's stop thinking about this. I looked at my cell phone. Two o'clock. Time to go get my baby cousin and see if she was waitress material.
Club Underground was located in an old restaurant that dated back to Prohibition. The club was in the basement where the bar and dance hall had been hidden in those days, so patrons had to walk around to the back to get in, as I remembered from our visit the night before. We followed the path we had taken and found the club empty except for the scattered employees mopping and rearranging the chairs. We both looked around lost.
"See Julian yet?" I asked Haley. I couldn't remember the guy in the least, but I thought she had been sober when they were introduced.
"Yeah," she nodded at a man by the bar. She took a deep breath and looked at me expectantly.
I gave her a nudge forward. "He didn't bite last night," I reminded her. She smiled, looking a little relieved, and headed toward him. "I'll wait outside," I said to her retreating back. She nodded but didn't turn.
I looked closer at the man as he greeted Haley. He seemed nice enough: clean cut dark hair, tanned skin, wearing a very expensive suit. I guessed his age to be somewhere in his twenties... thought in this lighting he could have been older than me, and I wouldn't have noticed. He was also flirting, though Haley didn't seem to notice. Maybe someone should talk to her about that.
Later. Right now the sound of chairs scraping the floor was about to drill through my skull. I retreated back outside to wait.
The sudden spill of sunlight nearly blinded me. Cursing under my breath and rushed back around the building and all but dove into Big Blue for my sunglasses. Much better. I relaxed against the seat and did a little people watching.
I guess I dozed off for a minute, because according to my phone, an hour had passed. There were several people headed toward the diner across the street. It was one of those old fashioned street car types. I had a sudden craving for a burger and a chocolate malt. In an effort to distract myself from the thought of food, I focused on the people who were going in: two smaller guys and one very large linebacker kind of guy. I leaned forward to get a better look at the linebacker- something about him was familiar. Luck was with me, because the guy turned to one of his friends as they got closer, giving me a full view of his face. Ranger's new skip!
I dialed his cell and he picked up on the third ring with the customary, "Yo."
"Yo yourself," I said. "You been into the office yet?"
"Just leaving."
"Did you pick up the new skip? Um, Clarence something?"
"Yeah," he said, sounding equal parts annoyed and curious.
"Good. Then come and get him."
"You took down Atwater?"
"Hell no. But he just went into the diner across the street with a couple of his buddies. The buddies looked pretty scrawny. And they're the only people in the place."
"Where are you at?"
"Club Undergound. They're in... ah, Lucky Lindy's."
"Thanks, Babe." And hung up.
I settled back to watch the diner. Fifteen minutes later a black SUV pulled up behind me, followed shortly by Ranger's truck. I jumped out of Big Blue as Tank and Lester angled out of the Ford Bronco. I'm not exactly sure how if happens, but all RangeMan employees seem to be tall, extremely buff, hot, and yet vaguely frightening.
Tank was six foot plus, dark as night skin, and built like, well, a Sherman tank. His name suited him so well I'd never even heard if he actually had a last name. Lester was almost as tall as Tank, and not quite as Incredible Hulk-esque, but still huge. He smiled at me, and Tank gave a slight incline of the head. I waved back.
Ranger walked toward me, the ghost of a smile on his face. "Forget something in the club last night?" I was wondering whether he really did spray paint those shirts on every morning- I had seen the closet full of them, had even worn one or two of them myself, but even so I still wondered.
"Huh?" I looked up into his eyes. Oops. Big mistake. Warm chocolate eyes... and he tasted just as good as he looked... oh god damn it! What was with the hormones today? "No. Haley's in a job interview right now. The owner's looking for waitresses."
"She staying in town, then?" he asked. I shook my head.
"Not really. Just for a month or so to clear her head and think things through." Which reminded me... "What's the policy on roommates in my new apartment?" Ranger tilted his head. Wow, I think I had just surprised Batman.
"It's up to you, Babe," he said. I sighed in relief. Thank God. I really wasn't sure the world was ready to have Haley unleashed on it.
"Thanks, Ranger," I told him, smiling. "Your skip's friends really are scrawny, you know," yep, I am a master of subtle subject change. He shook his head.
"Not them I'm worried about. Atwater uses 'roids." He looked at me seriously. "Stay out of sight," he said, and then he was gone. I didn't have to be told twice. I got in Big Blue locked the doors just in case, and settled in to watch the show.
Ranger and Lester went in the front, apparently letting Tank handle the back door. The streetcar had nice big windows all across the front, and here wasn't even a glare anywhere at the moment- it was like a t.v. show almost. Atwater was cornered, and tried to shove between Les and Ranger. Ranger's hand moved almost too fast to see, and Atwater was down on the floor. His friends made the foolish decision to help him and leapt on Ranger and Lester, not that they stood a chance. They had to know that, but it didn't stop them.
Ranger and Lester had the two buddies out for the count within a matter of moments, one of them laid out on the counter, the other slumped in a booth, but it was enough time for Atwater to make a run for the door. He made it. Too bad Tank had come around the side of the building, clotheslining him as he ran past. Ouch. That had to hurt. Atwater went down hard on the concrete and lay gasping for air. .
I saw Haley walking out of the club, and got out of the car to meet her. She was so happy she was damn near skipping. She paused to blink a few times, getting her eyes used to the light before she looked around. She took in the black broncos, the RangeMan Swat team, the large FTA being wrestled and cuffed, none too gently, by Tank and Ranger, and giggled.
"Wow! I always miss the fun stuff." I rolled my eyes. If she had been there, no way would she call it fun. Her grin widened. "Guess what!" she said, looking ready to bounce out of her shoes. As if it weren't totally obvious. "I got it! I got the job!" She said, giving into the urge and bouncing like the cheerleader she was. I had to laugh.
"That's great!" I said, right before I was engulfed in a bouncing hug. I gave in and bounced along with her. I couldn't help it: Haley's bouncing had always been contagious.
"I'm gonna be a waitress! And at a totally cool club! And the bouncer guys were really nice, too. Ohmigod, this is gonna be fun!" Finally, we could stop bouncing. Thank god, I was getting winded! Geez, she must have been in killer shape.
I chanced a look at the Merry Men. Just as I suspected they were grinning like idiots.
"I told you, man: Two of 'em," Tank was muttering to Lester. I glared at him.
"Congratulations, Kiddo," Ranger told Haley. She beamed.
"Thanks, Ranger." She turned to look at the rest of the party. "Hi, Tank! Hi person I don't know!" Haley chirped. Apparently her way of subtly asking to be introduced.
"Lester Santos, Ms. Thorne." Lester said, stepping forward and offering her a hand.
"Haley," she told him. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Santos."
"Lester." He said with a wolf grin. She nodded, not looking at all phased by the look. Lester Santos is a 6 foot 4 inch muscular hunk of hot Latino and if he had given me that look I would have been melting into a puddle of hormones, but apparently Haley's hormones were no match for her buoyant mood. Or maybe she just hadn't gotten Grandma Mazur's damned Hungarian genes.
"Cool name!" she said, and turned back to me. "I start tomorrow. I'm really gonna need a car... ohmigod! I'm gonna have car payments!" She squeaked, looking ready to start bouncing again. I just stared at her- dear god, no one in their right mind should ever sound that happy about a car payment. "I've never had one before! This is so cool!"
Ah, youth. "Haley, chica, you need help. Lots of help," I told her flatly.
She stuck her tongue out at me, then grinned. "Let's go car shopping! I know exactly what I want! Come on, and you can get something so you don't have to drive the Great Blue Beastie anymore." I sighed, and tried not to look at the smile I was sure Ranger was wearing.
"You know, Babe, I could just..." he said softly. I turned and glared at him.
"No. I am not going to destroy another one of your cars."
"The Great Blue Beastie?" Tank was looking at Haley as if she'd grown two heads. She giggled.
"That monstrosity of a Buick Stephie's driving," she told him, pointing down the street to where the boat of a car was docked.
"Stephie?" Ranger asked me, wearing the 1000 watt smile. I tried to stay upright. Damn hormones! Don't think about kissing that smile off his face. Don't think about those lips on you. Don't think about- Argh!
Thankfully, before I could do something entirely stupid like jumping Ranger in the middle of the street, in broad daylight, Haley's phone rang. She smiled apologetically at Tank and Lester and flipped it open.
"Dom!" she squeaked, and bounced off towards Big Blue. "You'll never guess what!... No, silly, I got a job. Yeah, as a waitress. No not at Hooters. Like I'd be qualified for that anyway!" Tank and Lester were staring at Haley like she was some sort of new explosive. I turned my attention to Ranger.
"Do you still need me for that gig tonight?"
"Yeah. It's on a..." but I didn't hear whatever he said next, as Haley's conversation drifted back to me.
"So where are you, Superman? Back from a third world jungle? Did you save the world in the nick of time or am I gonna need a radiation suit to match my new outfit?" she paused and laughed. Superman? Third world jungle? What the hell was Dom involved in? "Does tomorrow night work then? I'm free, and I'm dying to hear about the latest conquests. Well, hey, I gotta go be Supergirl and save my cousin from a gigantic blue beast. I promise to tell ya later! Love ya, Superman! Byes!" she flipped the phone closed, and walked back toward us, pausing to watch Lester unceremoniously shove the skip into one of the Broncos.
I shook my head to clear it and turned back to Ranger. "I'm sorry... what did you say?"
The corners of his mouth twitched. "Just gave you the back ground info on the skip, Babe. Nothing we can't go over tonight."
"Oh, ok," I said, still wondering about my cousin's superhero.
"Boyfriend?" Lester was asking Haley. She looked at him in shock, before bursting into a fit of giggles.
"God, no! Dom's my bro. Not literally, he's just my best friend."
"He hang around in jungles often?" Tank asked.
"I don't know, actually. He's a SEAL, does recon and stuff. The jungle thing's just a running joke. By the way, those were some interesting moves you just used on that guy." She paused for breath and peered in the window at the skip. "You know he really might need some medical attention?"
"He'll be fine. Maybe next time he'll be a little more cooperative," Lester told her, obviously unsympathetic to the man's plight.
"They have doctors at the jail," Tank added, with sharp look at his fellow RangeMan.
Haley shook her head. "So where did you learn that stuff, anyway?" she asked.
I didn't hear their replies: Ranger was standing close beside me. I could feel his presence, pulling me into his gravitational field. "I have a feeling my guys are gonna be hanging out here more often." Hm, the Merry Men go clubbing. Might be worth the price of admission.
"Someone ought to warn the bouncers," I said. Ranger smiled.
"Don't worry, Babe. I think they'll have something more entertaining than barroom brawls on their minds."
"That's what I'm afraid of," I sighed, watching the trio in front of us with growing unease. They were definitely flirting, though Haley thankfully seemed to be oblivious to it. Not that I thought Lester and Tank were bad exactly but..."they're so far out of her league..." I whispered.
"I'll talk to them," Ranger said, running his hand down my spine. Mmmm, I arched my back without even meaning to, and his eyes darkened considerably. Ahem. Oops... No playing with Batman. Think about Morelli, Stephanie. Even though he hasn't called you since the fight and the last time you had a civil conversation was sometime before the Slayers... I was staring into Ranger's eyes, and thinking how nice it had been to wake up and get pulled into his arms... Damn it. I forced myself to turn away before I did something completely stupid like trying to kiss him senseless.
"Haley! Let's go find you a car," I called over to her. "See ya tonight, Ranger," I added, smiling. "And thanks."
"Anytime, Babe." Ranger nodded.
Haley waved to him and the Merry Men. "Later days!" she said, as we headed back to the car.