Disclaimer: Still don't own anything... sigh
A/N: Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that most of this story is based upon personal experience. So what you've read so far, in a sense, is based on a true story (except the part about the arm turning into a razor blade... that was just my own creativity). Alright, enough of my babbling!
Chapter 3: Sorry
Ginny awoke the next morning feeling as good as new; except for the pit in her stomach. She hated that Hermione knew her secret, although she could trust her with her life. She had vowed never to share it with anyone, and here she was worrying whether the only person who knew would tell.
She sat up cautiously and gazed around at all the empty beds. The Hospital Wing was entirely abandoned, and she wondered where her friends could be. It doesn't matter, she thought. I don't want them here anyway.
Instead of lingering in a room where she was the only occupant, she decided to make her way down to the Great Hall in case breakfast was still being served. Besides, she had skipped supper the night before and was starving. Slipping through the open doors, she was relieved to find that, not only was breakfast still being served, she had caught the end of it, so the hall only occupied a few students at each table. She took a seat alone at the Gryffindor table and began picking through the sausages and pancakes to find something warm and delicious. After settling on some biscuits and gravy, she was just beginning to eat when Hermione plopped herself down in front of Ginny and took a sip of pumpkin juice.
"Hello," she said, tentatively.
"Hi," Ginny answered.
"You look better this morning."
"As opposed to...?"
"As opposed to last night... when you looked terrible," Hermione answered sarcastically.
"Ah. Well, I'm going to get up now and make my way to the common room, after which I plan on spending the day outside, reading," Ginny exclaimed, standing up slowly. She left Hermione staring at her retreating back through the open doors and climbed the staircases to Gryffindor Tower. She hoped to spend a day entirely out of the way of her fellow students, because just in case Hermione had told anyone, she didn't feel like answering questions.
That night, Ginny tossed restlessly as the same nightmare that had haunted her dreams the night before returned. Before her arm transformed into a razor blade, however, she sat bolt upright in her large canopy bed. Sweat drenched her sheets and her heart was beating frantically inside her chest. She decided to get some fresh air, so she slipped on a pair of shoes and her cloak, and made her way out into the common room.
It was completely deserted, except for the dying red embers in the fireplace. She quietly made her way through the portrait hole and hurried along to the Astronomy Tower. After all, this was the only place she felt she could go when she needed to clear her mind. No one else ever used the Tower as an escape route, so she knew she could be alone if she went there.
She pushed open the oak door and slipped inside, unnoticed. The moonlight was piercing the darkness of the circular room, by means of the window. It always seemed impossible to block the moonlight, because it always had a way to get in. Like some people, Ginny thought. They won't stop until they've finished prying. She took a seat on the windowsill opposite the door, and peered out into the night. The abyss of the dark lake seemed gloomy and frightening; Hagrid's hut seemed lifeless without its daily lights on; and the Forbidden Forest played the part of a Secret Keeper - so many secrets that would never leave the security of the trees.
Suddenly, Ginny heard the door creak open behind her. She turned to see someone silhouetted against the dark wall. They had messy hair that stuck up in all directions, and glasses placed upon the bridge of their nose. Ginny realized who it was immediately and turned her gaze back to the Hogwarts grounds beneath her.
"I know," came the voice near the door.
"What are you doing here, Harry?" Ginny asked coldly.
"I'd say I couldn't sleep, but I knew you'd come here, so I waited until you left," Harry answered, approaching the figure at the window.
"You were spying on me?!" Ginny frowned, looking to Harry.
"No. I was concerned about you, and I wanted to come see if you were all right," Harry replied calmly.
"Well, I'm fine. You can leave," Ginny said, continuing to peer outside.
"I don't want to leave." Harry paused, "I know, Ginny."
"You know... what?" she asked tentatively. Somehow, she knew what he was talking about, but she refused to accept it. He can't know.
"I know you've been cutting yourself," Harry whispered.
Ginny said nothing, but continued to stare at a tree at the edge of the forest.
"I wish you wouldn't do that. You could hit a vein or something... without knowing," Harry went on.
"Why would it matter?" Ginny answered softly, tears welling up in her eyes.
"If you died? It would matter so much to me, Ginny! I care about you more than you'll ever know! To know you're hurting yourself kills me inside. Why didn't you say anything? I would have helped you. I still want to help you. Talk to me, please..."
"I'm sorry..." Her tears began flowing down her creamy cheeks as she turned to look at Harry.
"Don't apologize. Just tell me what's making you do this. I want to help you," Harry moved closer to her face and wiped a tear from her cheek.
"I don't know. I mean... there's just so much that I don't even know what the root of it is anymore. It just hurts so much on the inside. The only way I know to get rid of it is to hurt on the outside. I'm so sorry, Harry... so sorry..." She cut off, unable to continue due to the loud sobs and thick tears. She covered her face with her hands and wept endlessly as Harry wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, rocking her softly in his grip. He didn't want to let her go, and she hoped he wouldn't.
Ginny didn't remember returning to the common room that night. She and Harry sat in the Astronomy Tower talking and crying and talking some more. She was so grateful for someone like Harry in her life. She only wished he'd never go away...
A/N: How are you liking it so far? And actually... the conversation between Harry and Ginny actually happened, only it was between me and a good friend of mine. Some of the things said are taken word for word, in fact. Heh, just a little background information on that... Anyhoo, keep reviewing and I'll keep writing!
A/N: Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that most of this story is based upon personal experience. So what you've read so far, in a sense, is based on a true story (except the part about the arm turning into a razor blade... that was just my own creativity). Alright, enough of my babbling!
Chapter 3: Sorry
Ginny awoke the next morning feeling as good as new; except for the pit in her stomach. She hated that Hermione knew her secret, although she could trust her with her life. She had vowed never to share it with anyone, and here she was worrying whether the only person who knew would tell.
She sat up cautiously and gazed around at all the empty beds. The Hospital Wing was entirely abandoned, and she wondered where her friends could be. It doesn't matter, she thought. I don't want them here anyway.
Instead of lingering in a room where she was the only occupant, she decided to make her way down to the Great Hall in case breakfast was still being served. Besides, she had skipped supper the night before and was starving. Slipping through the open doors, she was relieved to find that, not only was breakfast still being served, she had caught the end of it, so the hall only occupied a few students at each table. She took a seat alone at the Gryffindor table and began picking through the sausages and pancakes to find something warm and delicious. After settling on some biscuits and gravy, she was just beginning to eat when Hermione plopped herself down in front of Ginny and took a sip of pumpkin juice.
"Hello," she said, tentatively.
"Hi," Ginny answered.
"You look better this morning."
"As opposed to...?"
"As opposed to last night... when you looked terrible," Hermione answered sarcastically.
"Ah. Well, I'm going to get up now and make my way to the common room, after which I plan on spending the day outside, reading," Ginny exclaimed, standing up slowly. She left Hermione staring at her retreating back through the open doors and climbed the staircases to Gryffindor Tower. She hoped to spend a day entirely out of the way of her fellow students, because just in case Hermione had told anyone, she didn't feel like answering questions.
That night, Ginny tossed restlessly as the same nightmare that had haunted her dreams the night before returned. Before her arm transformed into a razor blade, however, she sat bolt upright in her large canopy bed. Sweat drenched her sheets and her heart was beating frantically inside her chest. She decided to get some fresh air, so she slipped on a pair of shoes and her cloak, and made her way out into the common room.
It was completely deserted, except for the dying red embers in the fireplace. She quietly made her way through the portrait hole and hurried along to the Astronomy Tower. After all, this was the only place she felt she could go when she needed to clear her mind. No one else ever used the Tower as an escape route, so she knew she could be alone if she went there.
She pushed open the oak door and slipped inside, unnoticed. The moonlight was piercing the darkness of the circular room, by means of the window. It always seemed impossible to block the moonlight, because it always had a way to get in. Like some people, Ginny thought. They won't stop until they've finished prying. She took a seat on the windowsill opposite the door, and peered out into the night. The abyss of the dark lake seemed gloomy and frightening; Hagrid's hut seemed lifeless without its daily lights on; and the Forbidden Forest played the part of a Secret Keeper - so many secrets that would never leave the security of the trees.
Suddenly, Ginny heard the door creak open behind her. She turned to see someone silhouetted against the dark wall. They had messy hair that stuck up in all directions, and glasses placed upon the bridge of their nose. Ginny realized who it was immediately and turned her gaze back to the Hogwarts grounds beneath her.
"I know," came the voice near the door.
"What are you doing here, Harry?" Ginny asked coldly.
"I'd say I couldn't sleep, but I knew you'd come here, so I waited until you left," Harry answered, approaching the figure at the window.
"You were spying on me?!" Ginny frowned, looking to Harry.
"No. I was concerned about you, and I wanted to come see if you were all right," Harry replied calmly.
"Well, I'm fine. You can leave," Ginny said, continuing to peer outside.
"I don't want to leave." Harry paused, "I know, Ginny."
"You know... what?" she asked tentatively. Somehow, she knew what he was talking about, but she refused to accept it. He can't know.
"I know you've been cutting yourself," Harry whispered.
Ginny said nothing, but continued to stare at a tree at the edge of the forest.
"I wish you wouldn't do that. You could hit a vein or something... without knowing," Harry went on.
"Why would it matter?" Ginny answered softly, tears welling up in her eyes.
"If you died? It would matter so much to me, Ginny! I care about you more than you'll ever know! To know you're hurting yourself kills me inside. Why didn't you say anything? I would have helped you. I still want to help you. Talk to me, please..."
"I'm sorry..." Her tears began flowing down her creamy cheeks as she turned to look at Harry.
"Don't apologize. Just tell me what's making you do this. I want to help you," Harry moved closer to her face and wiped a tear from her cheek.
"I don't know. I mean... there's just so much that I don't even know what the root of it is anymore. It just hurts so much on the inside. The only way I know to get rid of it is to hurt on the outside. I'm so sorry, Harry... so sorry..." She cut off, unable to continue due to the loud sobs and thick tears. She covered her face with her hands and wept endlessly as Harry wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, rocking her softly in his grip. He didn't want to let her go, and she hoped he wouldn't.
Ginny didn't remember returning to the common room that night. She and Harry sat in the Astronomy Tower talking and crying and talking some more. She was so grateful for someone like Harry in her life. She only wished he'd never go away...
A/N: How are you liking it so far? And actually... the conversation between Harry and Ginny actually happened, only it was between me and a good friend of mine. Some of the things said are taken word for word, in fact. Heh, just a little background information on that... Anyhoo, keep reviewing and I'll keep writing!