Disclaimer: Nope, still haven't managed to thieve the rights to the Plumverse. So it all belongs to Janet, except for Haley. But that's negotiable.
Note: Thanks to everyone for sticking with me through this whole fiasco. And thanks for the great reviews and feedback!
-------------------------------------------------
Chapter 9
The couch was ringing. Actually it was playing the Jaws theme. I quickly dug through the cushions in search oShe hadn't handled the bandage-changing very well.
"Connie. She has another file for me. Look, maybe you should stay here after all…"
"And sit around with the phone ringing off the hook with people wanting to know about last night? Hell no!"
She had a point. Plus we were going to be using her car, since I wouldn't get mine back until Tuesday. I wasn't sure if the department was actually that slow about searching it or if they were selling tickets to show off the only Stephanie Plum car to survive an attempted tared at the piece of plastic in my hand. Connie had just offered to save me a donut? I wondered if the end was near after all.
"Who was it?" Haley asked, coming out of the bathroom looking pale and a little unsteady. She hadn't handled the bandage-changing very well.
"Connie. She has another file for me. Look, maybe you should stay here after all…"
"And sit around with the phone ringing off the hook with people wanting to know about last night? Hell no!"
She had a point. Plus we were going to be using her car, since I wouldn't get mine back until Tuesday. I wasn't sure if the department was actually that slow about searching it or if they were selling tickets to show off the only Stephanie Plum car to survive an attempted bombing.
"All right. Let's go then, but if you need to we are coming straight home and you're laying down."
"Aye-aye, mon capitaine."
I pulled up in front of Dougie's house a few minutes later. Mooner always stayed with Dougie. Occasionally he stayed with other stoners but Dougie's was the residence of choice, probably because it was an actual house in a decent neighborhood. Or maybe he just like Dougie, it was hard to say what went on in the few fried synapses left in Mooner's head.
Haley followed me up to the house, steady on her feet now, but looking a little gray from the ride over. I kept an eye on her while I knocked on the door.
It took a minute but someone stumbled up to the other side, and I heard a muffled "Dudette!" before the door swung open, revealing Mooner. He was dressed in baggy jeans and an even baggier shirt. He was also about half baked from the look of him.
The smoke drifted out from behind him. Christ, I could have a contact high and not even go in the door.
"Mooner, you missed your court date."
"Whoah. I'm like seeing double here!" he stared from me to Haley and back.
"No you're not. I look nothing like her!" Haley protested.
Mooner' s eyes widened. "Cool! You got cloned, Bombshell! She's kinda shorter, and stuff but they say clones aren't actually identical to the original, you know."
"We aren't clones." I sighed. This routine was getting old. But flattering. Nice to know I looked twenty. "Mooner, this is Haley, my cousin."
They shook hands, both of them grinning. Great, they were probably on the same cloud by now.
"Cool, Haley. I gotcha, the cloning's probably a secret, right? One of those secret government superhero type things right. I got my super suit on already. We should all fight some crime together."
"Let's discuss it on the way to the station?" Haley suggested. "I can't do crimefighting just now," she pointed to her bandaged arm. "I got shot."
"Whoah, that's hardcore!" Mooner sounded awed.
I tugged on his arm. "Come on, we have to get you bonded back out. I'll pick you up for your next court date."
"Thanks dudette," Mooner hugged me. "You are the greatest."
I tried not to think about how I was probably now smelling like pot and stepped past him to get the house locked up.
"She's good people," Haley said in agreement as we all headed back to the car.
"She's like saved my life," Mooner said proudly.
"Seriously?" Haley was the one in awe now. "What happened?"
While Mooner launched into a complicated and slightly disjointed account of the deChooch incident I drove to the station, windows down.
By the time I parked outside the squat, square building that served as the headquarters of Trenton's finest, the original topic had been forgotten in favor of an off-key rendition of the Tiny Toon Adventures song.
"I hate to break this up," I almost yelled over the noise. "But we have to get you inside." I looked at Mooner pointedly before I exited the car. He shrugged and angled out, then moved the seat up to let Haley out of what was theoretically the back seat. It was more of a bucket seat-shaped shelf. Probably comfy if you didn't have legs.
Then again, Haley was short enough she didn't seem to mind it much. She carefully maneuvered her way out. She almost made it out without an incident, but her sandal snagged on the seatbelt as she stepped out. She yelped in surprise and fell forward. Mooner tried to catch her, but she had too much momentum.
A couple shrieks and a loud thud. By the time I got around the car they were both on the ground, looking a little dazed.
"Are you alright?" I knelt down to examine both the victims.
Haley glared at me around a curl that had fallen into her face. "Peachy bloody keen."
"Dude, that was intense!" Mooner muttered.
"Painful, Mooner. Painful is the word you want." Haley was poking at a fresh cut on her knee.
"That too."
"You gonna be okay here?" I asked Haley. "Or do you want to come in?"
"I'm going to avoid walking. I'm a danger to myself and others right now," she sighed, putting a hand over her knee.
"All right, this shouldn't take long," I assured her and set about hauling Mooner to his feet.
Once we actually managed to get into the station it didn't take too long at all. My main concern was that Morelli would show up and make a scene. Thank god he didn't appear, or I would have probably just ran like a chicken. I only had enough courage for one major issue today, and that was reserved for the upcoming grill session with Connie and Lula.
I was a few hundred dollars richer and breathing a sigh of relief on the steps outside when I saw Crazy Carl Costanza headed my direction. So much for the no scene idea. I mentally cracked my knuckles, not having any idea of what to expect, but preparing for the worst.
"Hey, Stephanie," Carl said, looking a little uncomfortable.
"Hi, Carl. How much money did you lose on me this time?" He shook his head and gave me his crazy guy grin.
"Actually none. There was some dispute about the pool because it was your car, but you weren't around and it didn't blow up." I shook my head.
"I was meaning the Morelli-Plum break-up pool."
"You know about that one?" he looked stunned.
"I have my ways," I said mysteriously. Carl laughed, but sobered immediately.
"Steph, we didn't know... I mean," He shuffled his feet, and looked down. It reminded me of 9th grade when he'd asked me to the Spring Fling and had been so tongue-tied I'd finally gotten impatient and asked him.
"Carl, if this is an apology for not knowing or telling me, it's ok," I said softly. "It's over now. Besides, I wouldn't want Haley to be forced to give him another black eye publicly." Carl got the crazy grin back.
"Oh, don't worry. He's already got a matching set, courtesy of Big Dog."
My mouth dropped open- I didn't even think Big Dog liked me, or maybe he just didn't like Morelli. Carl's grin widened.
"And a pretty crooked nose courtesy of yours truly."
Crap, I really was back in high school. I knew for a fact Carl and Eddie had both saved my honor from more than a few rumors, and had done some massive attempts at damage control after the Tasty Pastry incident. I have some really great friends.
Without giving it another thought I took a step forward, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before I hugged him as hard as I could. Carl was annoying, he made fun of me, and bet on my life, but he had made the Spring Fling one of my best high school memories and he had just busted Morelli's scummy skank-chasing nose.
Carl hugged me back briefly and the pushed away, looking embarrassed. I watched him look around to make sure nobody had seen. I didn't have the heart to tell him at least three of the sergeants had nearly fallen out of the second floor window.
"Thanks, Carl. And tell Big Dog too," I said smiling. "You just made my night. But I gotta go or Haley's probably going to pass out in the car," I added seeing Robin Russell approaching with a smirk on her face.
"Yeah," he said. "I heard about the drive-by. Maybe she ought to try a different club. That's not the greatest neighborhood anymore."
"I'll talk to her about it," I said and waved as I hurried off. Russell was closing in fast.
I was almost out of earshot when I heard Carl's voice on the breeze. "Morelli is a fuckin' idiot."
My Cheshire cat grin was still in place when I angled into the car. Haley's eyebrows raised a little.
"The bond couldn't have been that high."
I shook my head and laughed. "I have the greatest friends."
"Explain, please. I'm too doped up to use my magical ESP abilities."
"Big Dog gave Morelli that matching black eye you threatened him with. And Carl added a new nose."
Haley clapped her hands in delight. "I love Carl and Big Dog! Who are they? Oh, I don't care, I'll meet them later. You do have great friends."