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ERIK
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" The boy spoke softly to the dog," I announced.
Pearl set the quill to the paper, and in careful, thought out strokes, wrote out my words. I picked it up and briefly glanced at the words, then grinned. Though she had made a few minor mistakes, it was nothing short of spectacular she had grasped the concept of the written word in the time span of a month.
She smiled back, clearly pleased with herself. Her quill hovered over the faded yellow parchment, waiting for another sentence to write. I racked my brain for one, then spoke the first composed sentence that came to my mind.
"Pearl improves her handwriting with the quill every day," I dictated.
Her face crinkled in amusement, and she wrote out the sentence, this time slightly faster. Her hand paused on the cursive Q; I knew it was her least favorite letter, the one she avoided writing when she could. Gently I took her hand and guided it.
The clock in the library chimed twice, and I knew that Christian would be here within moments to collect her, and that I had Catherine to go to. We were nearly the only people left in the library. I leaned over and picked up the stack of books I had picked out this morning. There were three of them, all thick with dust and leatherbound. One was philosphy of the Greeks, one a book of the history of Denmark, and the last-the one I suspected she would enjoy the most--was Homer's Odyssey.
" Don't worry if you don't understand all of it-just try to pick out parts and pieces, you'll grasp more as you go along. The blue ones the most exciting of the three," I told her, indicating the Odyssey.
Her eyes widened as she flipped through the pages. After placing the books back down, she suddenly picked up the quill and scribbled something down on the parchment. After she was done, she looked at me expectantly as I read the words 'Thank you.'
I laughed quietly. " You say thank you more then anyone woman I've ever known. But it's a good thing," I told her.
" Ah, there you are! Studying away, learning our letters!," Christian boomed as he strode into the library, abruptly shattering the peace and quiet in the library.
The guards hung back as he bent over near our table. Pearl rose and picked up her books, prepared to let him escort her back to her chamber. He cast her an incredulous glance.
" Books? What are those for?," he asked.
" I thought she might enjoy them," I told him evenly.
Christian glanced back at Pearl, as if I were lying. She studied him carefully as he regarded her curiosly, and nodded her head emphatically, clutching the books tight with her pale hands.
" Little Hanne, surely you don't want to bore yourself with those dusty tooms Erik is lending out! Ah, Erik my friend, when will you learn that young ladies aren't nearly as enraptured with the written world as you are? There's no need to pretend, he'll not be hurt by it," Christian told her smoothly, winking at me as he removed the books from her hands and handed them back to me.
I raised my eyebrows a fraction of an inch. My friend allowed the dashing smile to remain on his face.
But to everyone's surprise, Pearl laid an impulsive hand on Christians arm as he began to bow goodnight to me.
" What is it, Hanne?," he asked, holding a sole finger at the guards to give them a moment.
Pearl gestured to the books, then mimed reading them. Christian looked at her incredulously.
" My dear girl, you can't possibly want to spend your days reading! Why, I was going to fetch you a horse tomorrow! The only women who spend their days reading are either spinsters or unattractive, which you are neither."
Pearl shook her head quietly, smiling. I offered the books to her once again, and she took them, thanking me with her eyes. Christian stared at her, then burst out into laughter.
It was then, when I saw the look in his eyes, I realized he loved Pearl like a mad man. It was odd how she seemed to have different qualities men fell in love with, but unsurprising never the less.
" What an odd little bird you are. Ah, well if it is what the lady wishes, she shall have it. Thank you once again, Erik. I'll not forget this service you've done her," he told me.
I bowed swiftly, then watched them float out of the library.
After a few moments in silence, I gathered all of my supplies into a concise pile, and left for the main palace garden, where I was to meet Catherine.
While I loved the ocean, Catherine loved the solace of two things: the church and the palace gardens. And during summer, I occasionally had to agree with her on the matters involving gardens. The pale grey cobblestone path meandered it's way through willow trees and small ponds with swans. Pockets of brilliant colored flowers were arranged in a methodical order, and delicately carved statues were strategically placed.
But Catherine's favorite part was the rose garden, which was usually where we ended up meeting. It was secretly my favorite part as well. There were roses of every kind and color in a small courtyard, and a sweet scent always lingered in the air.
Catherine and I were to be married shortly, though the idea troubled me. I had once loved Catherine-and in some part of me, I still did, just as I had that day I had seen her in the market place. The humiliation she would have to endure if I broke off the engagement would be too injuring to her, and her honor as well. I couldn't bring myself to inflict that sort of social shame on her, not after all the years I had loved her. Even now, part of me still did, though granted it was more of a brotherly love at this point. And yet, would it be fair to wed a woman when I knew I would always be dreaming of Pearl, exactly as she was in front of me at the library, her smile illuminating at the words she had written with her own hand? It was a question that tore me apart, for whatever choice I made, it would injure someone.
Catherine rose when she saw me, and the moonlight caught her dark blonde hair. I forced a slight smile and took her hands in mine, guiding her in a circle around the court yard.
" So how did your day fare, Little Cat?," I asked, trying to sound interested.
Catherine beamed. " Well, I accomplished quite a bit of emobroidery, and I visited the church. Dined with Christian at lunch, and took Hanne on a lovely little walk around in the garden. Made some more arrangements for the wedding," she told me, a childish glee springing into her voice as she said the word wedding.
I could not do it to her.
She chattered on for several moments, just informing me of small tidbits and court gossip. As much as I told myself to be a man, to just give the words that would solve my problem, I couldn't bring myself to it. I was a man of honor, and I had given my word. I meant to see it through, no matter what the consequences would come to my own feelings.
" My ball gown is nearly ready, as well. Do you remember when I went to pick it out? I thought about choosing a lilac color, but then decided on emerald silk at last moment again. It'll go well with my ring," Catherine said mischieviously, impulsively grabbing my own hand with her own. Her ring finger brushed acrossed my skin, and I recalled picking out her engagement ring. I had been so nervous about it, asking everyone woman that had come along to help me choose. I had finally chosen an emerald set in the center of tiny diamonds on a golden band.
" Catherine, do you ever wonder......," I trailed off, trying to think of a better way to phrase the thought.
" Wonder what?," she asked quizzically, her brow furrowing.
I could think of no better way to put it, so I threw it out there with forced amusement in my voice. " Wonder if marriage isn't right for us?"
It was a dark question, but I felt that I had to at least discuss the idea. Perhaps she felt the same way, and we would both be bound into an agreement we wished to break. But her green eyes darkened at that question, and she halted in her steps. The wind picked up slightly, and a rose petal floated to the ground like a drop of blood.
" Right for us? What is that suppose to mean?," she demanded, and I could see the hurt in her eyes.
God forgive me, I wished I had never broughten it up. But now I had to see it through.
" If perhaps we aren't as well suited to each other as we once were," I told her quietly.
There was silence for a moment, and I heard nothing but the buzz of insects, the wind whistling through the trees, and the distant, yet ever present hum of the sea.
" You've never truly enjoyed court life, have you, Erik?," Catherine said slowly, clenching her cranberry skirts. "Well...what is it? Some other woman? Or that horrible, stupid ocean that you've always loved so? Or is it both?"
Her voice cracked on the last word, and tears began to stream down her face. Never had I felt more useless and selfish in my life.
" Catherine," I began, stepping forward to comfort her.
She wrenched herself away from me the moment my arms touched hers, as if they were hot as fire. We stood there for several more awkward moments of silence, the most awkward I had ever spent with Catherine. She finally turned around, her green eyes red from crying and her face wet.
" So I propose that you wish to call the marriage off...a mere few weeks before," she got out, furiously wiping the tears that refused to stop coming.
I shook my head. " I gave you my word, I'll see it through. I just felt I had to make you aware of it before we are permanently wed."
Another pause. I ventured onward. " Catherine, I still love you. It's just.....," my voice trailed off.
" In another way," she finished for me, staring vacantly into the roses, still sniffing. " Leave me. Go to her, might as well enjoy it before we have our wedding. I don't want to see your face," Catherine told me quietly, sitting up tall.
" Catherine, I'm sorry-," I began earnestly, half wishing I had never mentioned such an idea to her.
But in my heart, I knew it had been for the best. At least we were on honest terms now.
" Leave me," she snapped, cutting me off.
I bowed deeply, and did as she bade me.
~*~*~*~
Only Duke Balduin and Christian sat in the Prince's private common room when I arrived. The guards posted at the door nodded at me respectfully as I entered the majestic room. They were laughing gaily while playing a game of chess, aided by the liquor bottles placed strategically next to them. I slumped down on one of the exquisite, intricately carved chairs and allowed Balduin to pour me a large goblet of wine.
" To Denmark!," Christian said merrily, and all three of us clinked glasses.
" You look troubled. Something amuck, Erik?," Balduin asked, grinning like a cat.
I gave my pompous friend a forced smile and nodded my head without elaborating. He downed another glass of the fine, aged wine Christian always kept on hand. In truth, one of the large worries that would come if Christian was murdered as he claimed someone was trying to do, was that Balduin would become heir. Though the man was a decent fellow, he loved the drink and the women more, and devil to anything sensible that didn't involve those two activities.
" You and Catherine married....she's been blubbering on about the wedding for so long I can scarcely believe its so close," Christian drawled lazily, pouring another glass of wine.
One of the servants scurried off to bring another bottle.
I shrugged as he handed me another glass filled to the brim. I had never been one for alcohol.
" What is it, a lovers quarrel?," Balduin boomed in his loud voice.
Christian shook his head. Both were already drunk. "Erik and Catherine never quarrel, where have you been? There is nothing on this planet that could surprise me more," he laughed.
" What about that little foundling of yours...the Lady Hanne. What would you think of her wandering the halls late at night unaccompanied in inappropriate attire," Balduin asked silkily.
Christian and I looked up in surprise at the exact same moment.
" What gives you reason to believe that," I asked carefully. It almost seemed as if Balduins' drunk manner had disappeared as his eyes lit up.
" I saw her wandering about myself, when I was making way back from a maids room. Thought you might want to see what the little thing is up to, eh?," Balduin suggested.
Christian said nothing, but I could tell he was thinking hard from the thoughtful expression in his eyes. I glanced at Balduin once again.
" You were mistaken then. Or if you weren't, I'm sure there was a good reason for it," I said firmly, and raised my cup once more. " To Denmark."
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Pearl
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" Milady, the ocean will soak your gown straight through," Mary, Catherine's maid called out as I gleefully skipped along on the seas edge.
I had seen some of the servants children play the game; I would walk as close as I could to the waters edge, and then race back when a wave pushed the water up the beach. I lost the game if the water reached my feet before I could get away. Childish thought it was, I was enjoying myself immensley.
Still, I liked and respected Mary. The girl's face was plain but carried a certain pride that I admired, and so I climbed up the sandy dunes back next to the maid. She was awaiting patiently next to the carriage, which had arrived without my notice. I blushed slightly at keeping them all waiting, but knew better at this point then to try to apologize. Everyone's face always assumed something akin to shame when I tried to thank them, as if it were forbidden.
The carriage, after a short ride, brought us to the catherdral of Copenhagen, where I now often met Father Josef. Catherine and Prince Christian both seemed to deem it fit that I had a religious education, though I knew Erik scoffed at it. To me, the crosses and the beautiful stain glass windows seemed to be straight out of the fables I recalled my grandmother telling me when I was younger. As always, Mary hung back as I entered the cathedral first. The musky scent of the church engulfed me, and I felt a sense of peace that was akin to being under the ocean on clear seas. I walked silently past the pews, my grey skirts swishing against the ground as I searched for Father Josef. The eyes of the man on the ornate cross in the center of the church..the ocean help me, I could never remember his name...stared down kindly on me as I finally spotted the priest.
" Ah, Lady Hanne. So my lord prince sends your company to me again," Father Josef said as he rose from the pew.
I smiled and nodded my head respectfully. I had seen him several times since our first meeting, and I liked him more each time. The robost man was kind and completely enraptured with completing what he saw as his mission on earth.
We made circles around the cathedral as he lectured to me. Though one could hardly call them lectures, they seemed more like delightful fairy stories to me, though I never told him that. One told of a prophet who lived long ago in egypt, and how he had been given ten commandments..another spoke of a great flood that had turned the entire earth into an ocean for many days. I listened intently as he spoke of the ocean, taking in all of his words.
" You are the same as Lord Erik; you're eyes both light up at the talk of the sea," the priest said kindly as I motioned for him to go on about the flood, and if the whales and fish had been effected.
I smiled; it was not the first time I had heard that comment. I loved my life on land, but it would be a lie to say I didn't still love the sea. I always would; I was of the merfolk. Father Josef smiled in return, only it seemed to be a sad smile. He surprised me by taking a momentary break from his endless bible talk, and ventured on a new subject.
" When I was young, I met a woman very much like you. Aila, she called herself. Loved the land and loved the sea with a passion equal to yours. Very beautiful, Aila was," he told me softly, staring out into space for a moment with a longing expression on his face.
He loved that woman, I realized. Priests never acted on such a thing though-I had gathered that much from Catherine. We walked on in comfortable silence for a few moments, and I twisted the ring Erik had given to me around my finger out of habit.
" Well, I've educated you well enough today, I suppose. My lord prince will hopefully find your learnings in the ways of Christ satisfactory," the priest told me, his eyes regaining their typical merry glimmer.
I smiled and was about to take my leave when I suddenly remembered the boy that had been injured on my first time visting the church. I had never found out what had happened to him, and motioned for the priest to wait as I tried to think of a way to explain the situation. I mimed falling down and tapped my head to indicate the pain that had been caused. I dissolved into silent giggles after several moments of miming, knowing how completely and utterly ridiculous I must have looked. Get a hold of your thoughts Pearl, you look like a dolphin caught in a net, I told myself wryly. Surprisingly, the priest grasped my meaning.
" Ah, you mean Pedar!," he said, comprehension dawning in his eyes. " The common boy who fell and injured his head?"
Who was pushed and injured his head, I felt like adding. I nodded my head and the priest smiled.
" He's recovering fine. I meant to put him in the hands of the monks for instruction, but the urchin was back onto the streets by the time he was coherent enough to walk."
I felt a small disappointment at that. I had hoped to make a difference in the boys life, which had seemed bleak and dismal from the way he had been begging.
" You can't change the world, young one. Now return to the palace, I've kept you past your time," the priest told me as he noticed my expression.
I nodded and went to the entrance where Mary was waiting. She waited for me to walk out before her, as it was expected with servants, but I tired of the despicable shame humans seemed to treat their servants with, and waited for her to walk beside me. The wind whipped back my hair, and I smiled and let out a silent laugh. The day was beautiful, with ivory clouds streaking the azure sky and the sea sparkling like thousands of tiny diamonds were hidden in it's depths. I had gone to see my sisters every night for quite some time now, but I was still excited about seeing them tonight and telling them what new delights had occurred in my life since then. Thankfully, my midnight escapades remained unnoticed, and I hadn't seen Duke Baludin since the first night.
Mary glanced at me and let loose a nervous smile.
" You know milady, I'm glad you came to Copenhagen," she told me, then looked hesistant, as if it were something inappropriate. Maybe it was; I grinned back anyway and nodded my head.