(An: Once again, here it is. I would so enjoy it if people reviewed, as proof that my humble crap is being read.)

LAST TIME, ON SPACE TOAST

"FIRE AT WILL MY MINIONS!" cries the penguin, who then blinks. "Deja vu!"

NOW

"What's deja vu?" Jean asks.

Remy leans out of the X-jet. He was busy but he's always willing to show off his Frenchiness. "Deja vu: Being the feeling or the sense of doing something before." He ducks back into the jet.

"Oh bloody shit," Jazz and I say in unison.

There is a bit of mad ray gun fire, not that it matters, because Jean and Jazz throw up a psychic bubble around the group and the X-jet. The door to the jet opens and Scott falls out.

Rogue pokes out her head. "Y'all can have him back. Me'n Remy'll be out when doom is imminent." She ducks back into the jet.

"MMMmmmmmssnessee," says Scott, who is more or less passed out.

Freaked out, I mouth to M.A. who is sitting in the bubble doing author stuff, "Carrot Sticks?"

She yawns and points to the allergy meds.

I shrug.

"CEASE FIRE!" shouts the penguin.

The blasting stops.

"Curse you and your profane bubbles!" cries the penguin.

There is a pause and you can tell everyone in the bubble is thinking, "What the hell is going on?!"

"But we will still win!" cries the penguin, utterly oblivious.

"And just how do you plan to do that, you bloody bugger?" asks Jazz.

The penguin smiles a very evil smile. "Because of three things! 1, the Carrot Sticks have the most technologically advanced ray guns in the UNIVERSE," he points at the Carrot's guns, "2, I have THIS!" He brandishes a keychain shaped like a chihuaha in a biker jacket. "And most importantly of all, we have this!" He slips into a deep announcer-ish voices and pulls out a vaguely duck-shaped bucket-o-bolts. "THE AMAZING MECHA-DUCK! Whoa, someone's stuck on the caps lock KeY."

"Quack," says the Mecha-Duck. It's not very amazing, really.

"Are you not AMAZED?!" cries the penguin, laughing evilly again.

"Gonna havta go with not," I say.

The penguin ignores me. "Do you want to know WHY the AMAZING MECHA DUCK will ensure our victory?"

"NO!" shouts just about everyone in the bubble.

The penguin goes on ignoring people. "Because it can do this!" He laughs again and pushes a button on the duck's back.

"Quaaack!" says the Mecha Duck. After quacking several times, a little monitor appears on the duck's chest that says "You are special! Destroy the earth!!!"

"See? SEe? SEE!" cries the penguin, pointing at it and hopping around.

"Um, what does that prove?" I ask.

"THAT I AM SPECIAL! And that you don't know how to use the caps lock key!" replies the penguin. Evil laughter people, all about the evil laughter.

Jazz and Jean shrug at each other, then use their powers to overload the duck's circuits.

"QuuuAAAAuuuuAAAccccKKKKK..." says the Mecha Duck, his quack trailing off into a high pitched beep. He then explodes.

"DUDE! You blew up my duck!" the penguin shouts, shocked and outraged. (Well, wouldn't you be if your duck blew up?)

Jean uses her TK to float the keychain out of the penguins.. flipper or whatever and grabs it.

"NOOO!" cries the penguin. "Arfy! Yo quiero Taco Bell!" (I have no idea how to spell that. So sue me.) "YOU MUST PAY FOR STEALING ARFY! And for overusing caps lock!"

I mouth to M.A., "Arfy?"

She sighs and says, "It's the damn allergy meds talking!"

"But those wore off hours ago!"

"They don't have to know that, shut up!"

I mutter to myself.

"ARE YOU QUITE DONE DISTRACTING THE NICE PEOPLE?!" shouts the penguin.

"Eep!" I squeak.

"I think not," says Jazz, snickering.

The penguin does some weird gesture, like he's attempting to give us all the finger, but since he doesn't have any, well, yeah. "SHUT UP ALREADY!!!"

"Heessheee spleah.." murmers Scoot from the ground.

"That's right Scott!" says Jazz. "We must stop the penguin malice!"

"You mean you understood that?!" I say.

"Didn't you pay attention to my conversation with Kurt in the last chapter?"

I give her a strange look, and then turn to M.A. I point at Scott. "Fix him!"

She mutters to herself, something like, "Fix him, fix him, always with the fix him." She snaps her fingers.

"Huh?! What's with the penguin?" asks Scott, standing up.

"That's GENERAL penguin to you!" snaps the penguin, miffed.

Scott puts on his visor.

"DON'T-" says half the bubble's inhabitants.

Scott shoots a blast at the penguin.

"Shoot." they finish.

Scott's blast rebounds and comes back at us.

"You idiot!" shouts Jazz.

Jean throws up a pyschic sheild to deflect the blast and Jazz takes down the bubble.

The blast bounces off the sheild and heads for the penguin. A Carrot Stick dives in front of him and takes the hit, and gets fried.

"He was a good Carrot. A good, good Carrot," says the penguin, sniffling. "And I'm done. Thank goodness for 5 second attention spans. Now, where were we?"

"I believe you were about to obliterate us," says Scott.

"SCOTT!!!" shouts everyone who's not a Carrot or a penguin or Scott.

Scott blinks.

"Oh right. FIRE AT WILL MY MINIONS!" The penguin stops short and blinks. "Deja vu! Times two!"

"What's deja vu?" asks Jean.

Remy leans out of the X-jet. He was busy but he's always willing to show off his Frenchiness. "Deja vu: Being the feeling or the sense of doing something before. Merde! Now dey got m' doin' it!" He ducks back into the jet.

"Just get on with the fight already!" I say. "And stop reusing the jokes!"

M.A. grumbles quietly.

The Carrots blast again. Scott and Jean rush forward to attack but are eaten by a carrot. "Oh, what a world, what a world!" they shout and get eaten.

"I think that might be ironic. Might," I say.

"It's not," says M.A. "You were the one eating the carrots earlier. If you'd been eaten, then it'd be ironic. But of course, I can't kill myself off..." She trails off, giving me a shrewd look.

"Oh, no way pally!" I shout, hiding behind Jazz.

Jazz throws up a bubble again and shrugs. "Hey, she created me. What can y' do? I owe her something, after all."

"Damn straight!" I say, huddling behind her.

"BANG! ZAP! POW!" shout the Carrots in unison.

Katie has been speechless until just now. She's been huddling by the HP group, trying to reassure herself of her sanity. "Um, you do know your guns aren't working, right?"

"Um, we were hoping you wouldn't notice that," says a random Carrot Stick.

"But those were the most technologically advanced guns in the universe!" cries the penguin, shocked again. "How could they break?"

M.A. whistles and hides a screwdriver behind her back.

Cait leans out. She was in the X-jet watching her obsession (romy) macking, but decides to comment anyway. "You put too much faith into material possesions. I mean, Kurt's holowatch was pretty advanced, yeah, but it's always breaking, right?" She ducks back into the jet.

"Damn straight," grumbles Kurt.

"Dammit! They copped our strategy! Back in the ship!" shouts a random Carrot Stick. "RETREAT!"

The Carrot Sticks all disappear into the ship.

The penguin stares at them, shocked, flabbergasted, freaked out-

"Just get on with already!" I shout.

"Yeah, yeah, blame someone else for a change why don'tcha..." mutters M.A.

The penguin stares after them, we'll just go with shocked this time.

"Happy now?!" snaps M.A.

I nod.

The penguin clears his throat and taps his foot. "I believe I am the penguin in question here?!"

"Oh, sorry," says M.A.

"You can't do that! Come back!" shouts the penguin, getting back to the script.

A note falls from thes ship.

The penguin reads it aloud. " 'Dear Gen. Penguin: We're leaving for Bermuda. Have a nice life. Bye. Your loyal subjects, the Carrot sticks. P.S. We'll send you a souvineir." (See note on Taco Bell.)

The ship blasts off, leaving the depressed penguin sobbing in the parking lot.

"Well, that was easy," Jazz says.

Remy and Rogue peek out from the jet.

"Hey, why didn't you guys come out of the, like, jet?" asks Kitty Pryde.

"Because doom was never imminent, duh!" replies Rogue.

They duck back in and the hatch-thing opens. Everyone gets on the jet and flies back to my house, which they enter.

"Well, we defeated the villains. What now?" asks Jazz.

"How do we like get home?" asks the same Kitty.

M.A. peeks out from her corner. "That's a good question Shadowcat. One to be answered in the next chappy."