Disclaimer: As always I own squat. If I did own anything then David
Boreanaz and James Masters would be my love slaves.
A/N: Just want to say thanks to those who have reviewed, you've been really nice and the encouragement has been badly needed. Please anyone else who reads I'd love to hear what you think. Next chapter might be a while, have to work out some plot holes and also am going on a drinking session with some friends!
Chapter 4
Twenty minutes later and they had all piled into Kathy's VW Beetle; it was a tight fit especially with the two vampires huddled underneath blankets trying to avoid the daylight. Despite everyone's discomfort they managed to reach their destination in one piece. Walking into the Hyperion had an unusual effect on the three surviving members of Angel Investigations. Each remembered moments from their time spent their with people no longer in their lives, visions of Cordelia, Fred and Connor assaulted them and threatened to bring them to their knees. All they could feel was how tired they had become and how they no longer wished to fight. Kathy looked at them feeling their pain and knowing that it would never truly leave them. She also knew that this was not the end but yet another start that they would have to deal with. Hopefully the people coming now would help energise her weary soldiers and get them back in the battle. That is if they didn't all kill each other first.
'I'm in so much trouble when they find out what I did, they are going to kill me.' She thought, a shudder of nervousness running down her spine. 'Oh well at least I'd get a break from all this if they did.'
Spike was the only one of the group who had no memories of the hotel and who was not assailed by emotions. Turning to Kathy he again asked who these newcomers would be and when they would be arriving. As had happened all morning Kathy evaded the question, not wanted to give them a chance to run.
She set them to the task of getting the hotel ready for themselves and their guests and two hours later the place was presentable. Sitting down in the office, she pulled out food for everyone and they all sat down to eat.
"So Kathy tell us about yourself." Angel asked
"Not much to tell really. I'm twenty-four and moved here about two weeks ago. I'm originally from Ireland hence the accent that none of you have commented on surprisingly. I finished college last year and I'm a writer, that pretty much sums up my life, not very exciting though." Kathy answered hoping that there would not be too many questions she could not yet answer.
"Where in Ireland are you from?" Angel said
"Cork," she replied, "when was the last time you were there?"
"I haven't been back in Ireland in two centuries, too many memories I guess." Angel said absently, "the last time I was I wreaked some havoc and thought it best to leave before a mob came after me, haven't seen it since."
"You should go back some time, maybe bury some ghosts." Kathy looked at him, he gazed back into her eyes and again he felt that familiar feeling, like he vaguely knew her or to be more exact that he knew exactly who she was but that there was no way it could be her.
Just as he was about to reply he felt a familiar tingling sensation and moments later he heard a commotion from the lobby. Voices called out looking for someone. The team rose and entered the lobby, but before they even left the office Angel knew without a doubt just who had arrived.
"Buffy!" Spike gasped as the small blond step in front of the others.
"Hey guys."
Kathy walked forward to greet the slayer. "Welcome home Buffy."
"You must be Kathy, nice to finally meet you." Buffy said shaking her hand, "its not a lot of people who could get me to drag my butt half way around the world but you somehow managed to do it, I'm impressed."
Kathy smiled, "you'll be less impressed when you see how I did it." With that she turned and faced Giles, "Rupert! It's so good to see you, I'm so happy you made it through okay."
Giles walked forward and greeted the girl with an enthusiastic hug much to the surprise of all the people standing around watching. "Kathy you look wonderful, I'm must admit I'm glad you made it through okay as well, I'm very sorry about Seamus and Fiona they were good people and excellent friends I miss them deeply. Seamus was an one of the best Watchers I have ever met."
"Thank you, so do I but I know that they are happier where they are now so that's okay. Well I'm sure everyone here wants to catch up or maybe kill each other which ever you prefer. I just though you'd like to know that there are rooms ready upstairs, take which ever ones you like and then explanations and questions can be answered after that." Kathy figured that she might as well pre-empt the demand for answers and get everyone set up before she dropped the bomb on them.
She turned to the rest of the new arrivals. "Hi, I'm Kathy, I know who each of you is so there's no need for introductions and anyway we're going to get to know each other really well. I'm sorry if I'm a bit brisk but I really hate awkward situations and this ranks up there with the worst. So anyway, somebody please jump in and take over this conversation anytime now." Kathy knew she was rambling but the situation simply demanded it, the Sunnydale alumni were standing there uncertain of how to greet the LA team. They were uncertain as to the allegiances of the gang as well the reason why they were here. It was Willow as always who was the first to try to ease the tension.
"Fred, hey! Wow new look? How did you pull that off? And the blue, well it's definitely different." Willow babbled.
Illyria looked at her strangely then turned to Wesley. "This one thinks I am the shell, she talks to me like I am a human and mocks my appearance."
Wesley looked at Illyria with the pain that was now a permanent fixture in eyes. Turning to Willow he saw her confusion. "Fred is gone Willow, she was infected with Illyria over a month ago and her soul was destroyed in the process. Illyria is one of the original demons that walked the earth and she has taken Fred's body as a host in order to return. Don't worry she's not overly dangerous just don't insult her or try to fight her."
Willow's eyes teared up and a look of sorrow crossed her face. "I'm sorry," she said, "she was a wonderful person, I wish I could have known her better."
Angel shook his head, he did not want to get into this right now, things were complicated enough as it was.
"Why don't we get you guys settled in like Kathy suggested, I'm sure you'd all like some answers as much as we would and she won't give those until everyone is here. The rooms are ready at the top of the stairs, I've taken one but the rest are free so help yourselves." With that he turned and walked away not wanting to face them any longer.
Angel knew that he needed to be alone, needed to think. He was alive, well undead anyway, and it was not what he had expected. Knowing what he had had to do he had not though he would see this day or these people again. There was just too much going on for him to process, he had to think it through one problem at a time, starting with the most important. Buffy, no, she wasn't the most important, what about the apocalypse, or the army of demons or any other thing he had to deal with? No, he admitted to himself it didn't matter cause in the end of the day she was always on the top of his important list, she was always there at the front of his mind and he knew know that she was actually in his presence he would have to deal with how he felt.
Buffy, the mere thought of her almost brought him to his knees. Images flashed in his head, seeing her called as the Slayer, their first kiss, watching her fight, making love to her, her sending him to hell, holding her in his arms, fighting with her on a hill in Sunnydale at Christmas, walking with her through the snow, breaking up with her in a sewer, dancing together at the prom, him leaving. All those memories, both excruciatingly wonderful and painful at the same time and yet she would never know the one that he held most dear, of their day together. Still that was all in the past, since then their reunions had been emotional and intense but while they both may have held out hope for a future together he had never truly expected to live long enough to see it. And now he never would, he had signed away his Shanshu. The Order of the Black Thorn had won in that respect, they had taken away his hope and there was nothing he could do about that. It was Spike's now and if he got it in time he would be able to be with Buffy, he could be with her now if she wanted it, he could make love to her and hold her and they could live and fight together all the while holding out hope for the day he would be human. And with that though Angel gave up.
He knew he would fight because what else would he do? He would follow Kathy's visions and the orders from the PTBs but that would be it, he would fight and die or live on to watch all those he cared about die around him. Well there was a cheery thought, I really need to hit something, he thought, I wonder if Kathy could get a vision anytime soon.
Kathy, now there was another mystery. If it weren't impossible he would swear that it was she. They had the same eyes, the same smile even her mannerisms were the same, but she was dead and he knew that without a doubt, he remembered killing her. The taste of her blood as it slid down his throat was one of the strongest memories he had and it haunted him more than any of the other people he killed over the years. She had been his little sister, he had cared for her and protected her and in the end he had killed her. But she had left him with one legacy; even in death she still stayed with him for it was she who had named him. She had called him her angel and ever since that was his name. Darla had thought it funny and refused to call him anything else and that was how he became known as Angelus. Even when he got his soul back he still went by the name Angel, it both reminded him of her and of the atrocities he had committed. The Kathy here today though, it wasn't her but it was close, the PTBs could very well be that cruel, that he would have to live everyday being reminded of her and knowing what he had done. Still he had no choice but to get used to it, he would have to just deal with it like he would have to deal with Buffy.
They all watched as Angel walked out of the room, uncertain of what to do or say. Buffy knew that they would have to talk soon but she was more than happy to delay that for as long as possible, first she had to deal with getting everyone settled and then talk to Spike. She turned to her friends who had accompanied her here and still could not believe that they had wanted to come. They had never been all that close to Angel and his involvement with the evil law firm had made them more than a little uneasy. It didn't matter though, they were still here. Dawn, Willow, Xander, Giles and Faith, despite all the fights and dramas these where the people she trusted more than anyone else in the world. These were the people who new the score and had been fighting for longer than anyone else in the new Council that they had formed. She knew that she would need their support in the coming days as she tried to figure out exactly what was going on here and why they were needed so much.
She gathered her stuff and followed Gunn up the stairs. The rest of the gang were introducing themselves and chatting, only small talk as they wanted to save the big fight stuff for later when all they're questions could be answered. Still they were trying to ease some of the tension. Dawn was catching up with Spike, happy to see him again although unsure of how to react. Giles was filling Wesley in on the new Council that they had set up and how he would like Wesley's input on some of the matters. Gunn and Faith were catching up on old times, joking and laughing although not as easily as it should have been and Willow and Xander were joining in between all three conversations. On the surface it looked like a casual meeting between old and new friends but they all knew that there was too much history and emotional baggage to first be resolved before they could really become close.
Once she had been shown her room Buffy went to unpack her stuff and take a shower. The flight had been long and she needed the jets of hot water to wake her up and to wash the imaginary grime from her. She dressed and went downstairs unsure at to what she would find there. Expecting to see some of the others already gathered she was surprised and a little uncomfortable to find herself face-to-face with Spike.
"Hello luv."
"Spike, how have you been?"
"How have I been, well since you ask, lets see. I was dead, I came back, was a ghost for a while, then got made real again, working for a guy I really really hate and an evil law firm, tried to stop the apocalypse and ended up face-to-face with someone I last heard was dating an immortal. Other than that though I'm bloody marvellous, you?"
"Yeah I heard that you came to visit me in Rome, I'm sorry I missed you, I would have liked to have seen you. Next time give me a heads up though."
"What so you can hide your new lover away?"
"Spike, I didn't.."
"Buffy, forget it alright, I need to say something and if I don't say it now then I may never. Please let me get to the end without interrupting cause what I'm about to say I'll never repeat, especially in front of the Poof." Spike suddenly became serious and sincere, he paused before continuing. "He loves you, and you love him. I've always known it I just though maybe you could, I don't know, love me too. The thing is you and he are destined, I get that now, you're soul mates. When you two are close by I can see how you feel each other, inside, and I know that's something that I can never do. So the way I figure it is if you two are soul mates then that means everyone has one and that mine must be out there somewhere but if I stay hung up on you I'll never find her. It doesn't mean that I don't love you cause I do, I just think that you were my rock Buffy, you were the one who helped pull me out of my guilt when I got my soul and if you hadn't been around then I would have spent a century wracked with guilt like Captain Forehead there. So thank you, for helping me and just so you know I'll always be here for you no matter what. Oh god look what he's bloody well done to me, he's made me into a sentimental ponce! Have I mentioned how much I hate him?"
Buffy laughed and cried all at once. She had been dreading this conversation so much but he had said it all before she could.
"Spike, I do love you but you're right, it's not that way between us. When I think about you I see my friend, someone who was there for me when no one else was who helped me through some of the worst moments of my life. I think if I hadn't met him then maybe, but it's too late for that now. I don't know if it will ever work with him but I do know that there can't ever really be anyone else, only someone who can keep company, like the Immortal, not someone I truly love but someone who lets me have some fun. So are we okay here? Are we still friends?"
Spike smiled and looked at her, when he had started talking he though he was just saying it to make her feel better but as he went on he knew it was the truth. He loved her but he wasn't in love with her, not anymore.
"Friends." He said smiling. "Now seriously did it have to be the Immortal? That wanker?"
A/N: Just want to say thanks to those who have reviewed, you've been really nice and the encouragement has been badly needed. Please anyone else who reads I'd love to hear what you think. Next chapter might be a while, have to work out some plot holes and also am going on a drinking session with some friends!
Chapter 4
Twenty minutes later and they had all piled into Kathy's VW Beetle; it was a tight fit especially with the two vampires huddled underneath blankets trying to avoid the daylight. Despite everyone's discomfort they managed to reach their destination in one piece. Walking into the Hyperion had an unusual effect on the three surviving members of Angel Investigations. Each remembered moments from their time spent their with people no longer in their lives, visions of Cordelia, Fred and Connor assaulted them and threatened to bring them to their knees. All they could feel was how tired they had become and how they no longer wished to fight. Kathy looked at them feeling their pain and knowing that it would never truly leave them. She also knew that this was not the end but yet another start that they would have to deal with. Hopefully the people coming now would help energise her weary soldiers and get them back in the battle. That is if they didn't all kill each other first.
'I'm in so much trouble when they find out what I did, they are going to kill me.' She thought, a shudder of nervousness running down her spine. 'Oh well at least I'd get a break from all this if they did.'
Spike was the only one of the group who had no memories of the hotel and who was not assailed by emotions. Turning to Kathy he again asked who these newcomers would be and when they would be arriving. As had happened all morning Kathy evaded the question, not wanted to give them a chance to run.
She set them to the task of getting the hotel ready for themselves and their guests and two hours later the place was presentable. Sitting down in the office, she pulled out food for everyone and they all sat down to eat.
"So Kathy tell us about yourself." Angel asked
"Not much to tell really. I'm twenty-four and moved here about two weeks ago. I'm originally from Ireland hence the accent that none of you have commented on surprisingly. I finished college last year and I'm a writer, that pretty much sums up my life, not very exciting though." Kathy answered hoping that there would not be too many questions she could not yet answer.
"Where in Ireland are you from?" Angel said
"Cork," she replied, "when was the last time you were there?"
"I haven't been back in Ireland in two centuries, too many memories I guess." Angel said absently, "the last time I was I wreaked some havoc and thought it best to leave before a mob came after me, haven't seen it since."
"You should go back some time, maybe bury some ghosts." Kathy looked at him, he gazed back into her eyes and again he felt that familiar feeling, like he vaguely knew her or to be more exact that he knew exactly who she was but that there was no way it could be her.
Just as he was about to reply he felt a familiar tingling sensation and moments later he heard a commotion from the lobby. Voices called out looking for someone. The team rose and entered the lobby, but before they even left the office Angel knew without a doubt just who had arrived.
"Buffy!" Spike gasped as the small blond step in front of the others.
"Hey guys."
Kathy walked forward to greet the slayer. "Welcome home Buffy."
"You must be Kathy, nice to finally meet you." Buffy said shaking her hand, "its not a lot of people who could get me to drag my butt half way around the world but you somehow managed to do it, I'm impressed."
Kathy smiled, "you'll be less impressed when you see how I did it." With that she turned and faced Giles, "Rupert! It's so good to see you, I'm so happy you made it through okay."
Giles walked forward and greeted the girl with an enthusiastic hug much to the surprise of all the people standing around watching. "Kathy you look wonderful, I'm must admit I'm glad you made it through okay as well, I'm very sorry about Seamus and Fiona they were good people and excellent friends I miss them deeply. Seamus was an one of the best Watchers I have ever met."
"Thank you, so do I but I know that they are happier where they are now so that's okay. Well I'm sure everyone here wants to catch up or maybe kill each other which ever you prefer. I just though you'd like to know that there are rooms ready upstairs, take which ever ones you like and then explanations and questions can be answered after that." Kathy figured that she might as well pre-empt the demand for answers and get everyone set up before she dropped the bomb on them.
She turned to the rest of the new arrivals. "Hi, I'm Kathy, I know who each of you is so there's no need for introductions and anyway we're going to get to know each other really well. I'm sorry if I'm a bit brisk but I really hate awkward situations and this ranks up there with the worst. So anyway, somebody please jump in and take over this conversation anytime now." Kathy knew she was rambling but the situation simply demanded it, the Sunnydale alumni were standing there uncertain of how to greet the LA team. They were uncertain as to the allegiances of the gang as well the reason why they were here. It was Willow as always who was the first to try to ease the tension.
"Fred, hey! Wow new look? How did you pull that off? And the blue, well it's definitely different." Willow babbled.
Illyria looked at her strangely then turned to Wesley. "This one thinks I am the shell, she talks to me like I am a human and mocks my appearance."
Wesley looked at Illyria with the pain that was now a permanent fixture in eyes. Turning to Willow he saw her confusion. "Fred is gone Willow, she was infected with Illyria over a month ago and her soul was destroyed in the process. Illyria is one of the original demons that walked the earth and she has taken Fred's body as a host in order to return. Don't worry she's not overly dangerous just don't insult her or try to fight her."
Willow's eyes teared up and a look of sorrow crossed her face. "I'm sorry," she said, "she was a wonderful person, I wish I could have known her better."
Angel shook his head, he did not want to get into this right now, things were complicated enough as it was.
"Why don't we get you guys settled in like Kathy suggested, I'm sure you'd all like some answers as much as we would and she won't give those until everyone is here. The rooms are ready at the top of the stairs, I've taken one but the rest are free so help yourselves." With that he turned and walked away not wanting to face them any longer.
Angel knew that he needed to be alone, needed to think. He was alive, well undead anyway, and it was not what he had expected. Knowing what he had had to do he had not though he would see this day or these people again. There was just too much going on for him to process, he had to think it through one problem at a time, starting with the most important. Buffy, no, she wasn't the most important, what about the apocalypse, or the army of demons or any other thing he had to deal with? No, he admitted to himself it didn't matter cause in the end of the day she was always on the top of his important list, she was always there at the front of his mind and he knew know that she was actually in his presence he would have to deal with how he felt.
Buffy, the mere thought of her almost brought him to his knees. Images flashed in his head, seeing her called as the Slayer, their first kiss, watching her fight, making love to her, her sending him to hell, holding her in his arms, fighting with her on a hill in Sunnydale at Christmas, walking with her through the snow, breaking up with her in a sewer, dancing together at the prom, him leaving. All those memories, both excruciatingly wonderful and painful at the same time and yet she would never know the one that he held most dear, of their day together. Still that was all in the past, since then their reunions had been emotional and intense but while they both may have held out hope for a future together he had never truly expected to live long enough to see it. And now he never would, he had signed away his Shanshu. The Order of the Black Thorn had won in that respect, they had taken away his hope and there was nothing he could do about that. It was Spike's now and if he got it in time he would be able to be with Buffy, he could be with her now if she wanted it, he could make love to her and hold her and they could live and fight together all the while holding out hope for the day he would be human. And with that though Angel gave up.
He knew he would fight because what else would he do? He would follow Kathy's visions and the orders from the PTBs but that would be it, he would fight and die or live on to watch all those he cared about die around him. Well there was a cheery thought, I really need to hit something, he thought, I wonder if Kathy could get a vision anytime soon.
Kathy, now there was another mystery. If it weren't impossible he would swear that it was she. They had the same eyes, the same smile even her mannerisms were the same, but she was dead and he knew that without a doubt, he remembered killing her. The taste of her blood as it slid down his throat was one of the strongest memories he had and it haunted him more than any of the other people he killed over the years. She had been his little sister, he had cared for her and protected her and in the end he had killed her. But she had left him with one legacy; even in death she still stayed with him for it was she who had named him. She had called him her angel and ever since that was his name. Darla had thought it funny and refused to call him anything else and that was how he became known as Angelus. Even when he got his soul back he still went by the name Angel, it both reminded him of her and of the atrocities he had committed. The Kathy here today though, it wasn't her but it was close, the PTBs could very well be that cruel, that he would have to live everyday being reminded of her and knowing what he had done. Still he had no choice but to get used to it, he would have to just deal with it like he would have to deal with Buffy.
They all watched as Angel walked out of the room, uncertain of what to do or say. Buffy knew that they would have to talk soon but she was more than happy to delay that for as long as possible, first she had to deal with getting everyone settled and then talk to Spike. She turned to her friends who had accompanied her here and still could not believe that they had wanted to come. They had never been all that close to Angel and his involvement with the evil law firm had made them more than a little uneasy. It didn't matter though, they were still here. Dawn, Willow, Xander, Giles and Faith, despite all the fights and dramas these where the people she trusted more than anyone else in the world. These were the people who new the score and had been fighting for longer than anyone else in the new Council that they had formed. She knew that she would need their support in the coming days as she tried to figure out exactly what was going on here and why they were needed so much.
She gathered her stuff and followed Gunn up the stairs. The rest of the gang were introducing themselves and chatting, only small talk as they wanted to save the big fight stuff for later when all they're questions could be answered. Still they were trying to ease some of the tension. Dawn was catching up with Spike, happy to see him again although unsure of how to react. Giles was filling Wesley in on the new Council that they had set up and how he would like Wesley's input on some of the matters. Gunn and Faith were catching up on old times, joking and laughing although not as easily as it should have been and Willow and Xander were joining in between all three conversations. On the surface it looked like a casual meeting between old and new friends but they all knew that there was too much history and emotional baggage to first be resolved before they could really become close.
Once she had been shown her room Buffy went to unpack her stuff and take a shower. The flight had been long and she needed the jets of hot water to wake her up and to wash the imaginary grime from her. She dressed and went downstairs unsure at to what she would find there. Expecting to see some of the others already gathered she was surprised and a little uncomfortable to find herself face-to-face with Spike.
"Hello luv."
"Spike, how have you been?"
"How have I been, well since you ask, lets see. I was dead, I came back, was a ghost for a while, then got made real again, working for a guy I really really hate and an evil law firm, tried to stop the apocalypse and ended up face-to-face with someone I last heard was dating an immortal. Other than that though I'm bloody marvellous, you?"
"Yeah I heard that you came to visit me in Rome, I'm sorry I missed you, I would have liked to have seen you. Next time give me a heads up though."
"What so you can hide your new lover away?"
"Spike, I didn't.."
"Buffy, forget it alright, I need to say something and if I don't say it now then I may never. Please let me get to the end without interrupting cause what I'm about to say I'll never repeat, especially in front of the Poof." Spike suddenly became serious and sincere, he paused before continuing. "He loves you, and you love him. I've always known it I just though maybe you could, I don't know, love me too. The thing is you and he are destined, I get that now, you're soul mates. When you two are close by I can see how you feel each other, inside, and I know that's something that I can never do. So the way I figure it is if you two are soul mates then that means everyone has one and that mine must be out there somewhere but if I stay hung up on you I'll never find her. It doesn't mean that I don't love you cause I do, I just think that you were my rock Buffy, you were the one who helped pull me out of my guilt when I got my soul and if you hadn't been around then I would have spent a century wracked with guilt like Captain Forehead there. So thank you, for helping me and just so you know I'll always be here for you no matter what. Oh god look what he's bloody well done to me, he's made me into a sentimental ponce! Have I mentioned how much I hate him?"
Buffy laughed and cried all at once. She had been dreading this conversation so much but he had said it all before she could.
"Spike, I do love you but you're right, it's not that way between us. When I think about you I see my friend, someone who was there for me when no one else was who helped me through some of the worst moments of my life. I think if I hadn't met him then maybe, but it's too late for that now. I don't know if it will ever work with him but I do know that there can't ever really be anyone else, only someone who can keep company, like the Immortal, not someone I truly love but someone who lets me have some fun. So are we okay here? Are we still friends?"
Spike smiled and looked at her, when he had started talking he though he was just saying it to make her feel better but as he went on he knew it was the truth. He loved her but he wasn't in love with her, not anymore.
"Friends." He said smiling. "Now seriously did it have to be the Immortal? That wanker?"