(An: This is the second to last chapter. The next one is just deleted scenes and ripoffs.)
Everyone is gathered in my living room.
"Well, Hermy, know any spells to get us out of this one?" asks Ron.
"Don't call me Hermy!" Hermione began to mutter to herself about transportation spells.
"We're not going to get any answers out of her, not in this century anyway," I say with a sigh.
Ron and Harry glare at me.
"But, anyway, we're supposed to get home just how now?" asks Jazz.
"How now brown cow?" mutters M.A. to herself.
"What the-?" says Jazz, looking confused.
I shrug. "Ignore her. Time to ask the answer cat." I walk out and return holding the fat cat from chapter 1.
"The answer cat?" asks Shadowcat.
"Remember in chapter 1? How he knew about the temporal thingy? But, anyway.." I set the cat down.
He washes a paw.
"Ok, kitty-cat, spill. How do we send all these weirdos home?" I ask him.
He ignores me and starts working on his other paw.
"Why are we asking a CAT for advice?" asks Jazz.
"BECAUSE he knew the whole thing about the narrator and the temporal disturbance, 'member?" I ask, annoyed.
"Damn straight," says Picattso (the cat) and clears his throat.
Everyone else raises their eyebrows.
"What a curious quandary you are all in," he comments.
"What the-?" says Harry.
M.A. hurriedly slaps her hands over his mouth. "Shut up! We've used up our swear word allowance! This is only PG, 'member?!"
"MMPH! MMPH!" shouts Harry, his voice muffled.
"Now be a good little boy and keep quiet," she says. "Got that?"
Harry glares but nods and M.A. moves her hand.
I shrug at this and turn back to the cat. "Well?"
He blinks slowly. "Hmmm... I suppose that if you could do the same thing to the computer as Gazoo, it could create a disturbance large enough to send them all back. Or it could create a black hole large enough to suck the whole city of Neillsville into a continuous spin around its edge while we all suffer having our brains crushed."
Everyone else stares at him.
"Well, that's not much of a loss," I say. "I say we try it."
"Are you NUTS?!" cries Scott.
I shrug. "Yes, probably. I haven't been to a mental clinic in some time, so I wouldn't know."
"...You've been to one before?" asks Scott, staring.
"Yes but- That's not the point!" I reply.
"Why not," says Jazz, standing up. "It's not like we have anything we could try anyway."
"Excellent point," says Picattso. "After all, you people don't want to be at her mercy for much longer, do you?" He points at M.A.
Evil laugher is heard from a shadowy corner.
Everyone but me shudders.
"That's it, I'm doing it!" I cry, and walk into the office, turn on my laptop and mess with it.
There is a "Squwerk" sound and a flash of light. Somehow, the portal that results from it manages to send everyone home. The only people left in the room are Jazz, me, Kitty, and Cait.
"I can't believe that worked," says Jazz, blinking.
M.A. shrugs from her corner. "Well, you know me. I'm not all that inventive. It's a fanfic, and as such, I can do whatever I want."
"Well, that was unerringly straightforward," says Jazz.
"It's the insomnia," M.A. replies. "I can't do much but state the obvious."
"Excuses, excuses," Jazz mutters.
"Do you want me to finish your story or not?!" M.A. snaps.
"Shutting up now!" says Jazz.
"Good OC," says M.A. and goes back to her corner.
"Well, I suppose we're all done then?" I say.
"Yeah, yeah," says M.A. "You guys are done. The story's not but you guys can take five."
The group heads off to the kitchen for donuts and to discuss possible support groups for those wounded and/or scarred for life by fanfics.
"Ungrateful little.." M.A. mutters. "Oh, I need a narrator, don't I. Ok, understudy!"
A bunny puppet appears out of a top hat.
"THIS is our replacement?" asks M.A. in disgust.
"We're over budget. Deal," says a disembodied voice.
"We HAD a budget?" she asks. "Oh, whatever."
"It's me, the announcer bunny! And now it's time for random reactions!"
FAR AWAY, IN ENGLAND, ABOUT FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THE HP GANG WAS SENT BACK
We see J.K. Rowling sitting at her computer. "What now? My writer's block is back!"
There is a popping noise as the HP gang is returned to her copyrighted imagination.
"Yes! Now to celebrate the return of my muses, I'm going to kill off another central character and not care!"
SOMEWHERE IN NEW ZEALAND, WHEREVER PETER JACKSON LIVES
"What the-? I suddenly feel compelled to finally make a movie of the 'The Hobbit!'"
A cheer is heard as groupies find out about this.
"Oh, shut up!" he yells and throws a brick at their leader.
THE WB!
Whoever the WB director person is blinks and presses a button on his intercom. "Hey, miss secretary lady, call the X-men Evolution people. I suddenly feel like renewing it for the rest of time!"
A cheer is heard outside as thousands of Evo fans finally receive their release.
"Boy, do I feel stupid for canceling it now!"
BACK AT THE HOUSE
"So, is this finally over?" I ask M.A.
She's drinking coffee like there's no tomorrow. "Almost. All I have to do is the credits and the deleted scenes and explain what I ripped off and why, savvy?"
I nod and thumb at Jazz. "So she's here for good then?"
"Yep. We'll just have to learn to live with her."
Jazz looks up from the building of her bomb.
"You know, I can't shake the feeling that we've forgotten something," I say.
"Eh, it'll pass," M.A. replies with a shrug.
THE MAIN INTERSECTION, A STOPLIGHT
"Is anyone going to let me down?" asks Pyro folornly. "Hello? Someone? ...Anyone?"