AN: So, here it is! I know it had been a long time, but it wasn't a light bearing, if you know what I mean. I hope those out there who read this story will like it.

I thank you for the rewievs, those meant a lot to me – I didn't dare to hope that somebody would be interested in my writing. So, thank you very- very-very much! Please do it again!

Chapter III: Dark moments of love

They used the Mind Link spell which they had tried before when Piper was in the power of the Source. After drawing the circle and casting the spell, Phoebe found herself in a cave-like room. It was a good idea to use the invisibility charm as well, because Cole wasn't alone when Phoebe appeared in the place. It wouldn't have been a fortunate encounter to find herself face to face with the Source of All Evil. The place (or Cole's subconscious, to be exact) wasn't too pleasant. It was as if they were in the Underworld, there were rocks everywhere and it was freezing cold. The scene that welcomed her wasn't nice, either.

Cole was forced into a standing position by two heavy chains that came from the ceiling. He looked like hell. The clothes he was wearing – jeans and a grey shirt – were in tatters, covered in dust and blood. The left side of his face was also covered in dried blood and it was obviously badly bruised as well. His whole body was slightly trembling.

"Why?" Phoebe shuddered, when the Source started to speak. The dark figure stood in front of Cole, looking at him as if he was studying some exotic animal. "Why do you do this to yourself?"

Cole didn't answer at all, actually he didn't even acknowledged the presence of the Source.

"You know I appreciate courage, but yours is absolutely misplaced. I will destroy them anyway... However you could make it easier for me."

Cole visibly tensed when the Source rose his hand. Bluish energy shot from his hand and it enclosed Cole. His trembling became more pronounced - it was as if he got some kind of electroshock.

"You know it will be worse with time" the Source put in conversationally.

Worse? Phoebe felt her heart break. This was their fault. Cole tried to protect them – he actually saved them from the Source – if he hadn't let the Hollow in himself, they would be all dead by now. And he still hasn't betrayed them.

It seemed as if hours went by. Cole's body stopped trembling, it was jerking and convulsing now, so hard that he hit the back wall of the cave many times.

"Just nod and I release you" offered the Source.

Cole shook his head weakly. The Source just shrugged and waved. The blue lights intensified immediately and Cole started to scream in pain.

Phoebe wanted to turn away – she couldn't bear to watch his love suffering, but she couldn't turn her head either. She felt as if she were rooted to the spot. She would have cried weren't she afraid of being discovered.

Minutes ticked by and every scream that came from Cole was like a stab in Phoebe's heart. After a while the Source apparently got bored: he paced back and forth in front of his prisoner. A wave of his hand and the energy enclosing Cole's body disappeared, together with the chains holding him. Cole collapsed to the floor immediately, gasping for air. The chains re- formed themselves around his wrists in a different position. Now they were connected to the back-wall of the cave.

The Source bent over Cole, gripped his hair and jerked back his head.

"You know I'm going to win in the end. Think about it...you can't fight me."

He banged his prisoner's head against the rock hard and Phoebe saw blood on the stone. The Source let Cole's body fell back to the floor, kicked him a last time and then vanished in a tunnel.

For a moment Phoebe watched the limp figure of his love, but then she mumbled the spell and became visible again. She crept closer and kneeled next to him. There was no reaction at all, even after she called his name, so she cautiously touched his shoulder and shook him. She didn't want to cause him more pain but she had to wake him up.

"Cole? Dear, it's me..."

Whether from touching or from her words, but he jerked awake immediately and desperately wanted to pull away. Then confused and pained blue eyes looked at Phoebe and he stopped the stampede.

"Pheebs...?" his voice was hoarse and barely auidable.

"Yes, it's me. I don't have much time, so you have to listen to me..."

"No."

"What?" she asked surprised.

"I know...it's just a new trick of you..." he coughed and clambered closer to the wall.

"Cole..."

"I. Won't. Say. A word" it was obvious that every pronounced word caused him pain but still there was definite resistance in his voice.

For a moment Phoebe didn't know what to say or what to do to convince him. She stared at his battered face and then leant forward and kissed him passionately. When they caught air again Cole managed to say a coherent sentence.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Saving you."

"I don't think it's possible."

"Your sister has a plan..."

"Rose?!" he almost jumped but the chains didn't let him. "She can't do it...she has to stay away!"

"I don't think she cares about it."

"Of course she doesn't, that's why I have to!"'

"Cole, you are not in the condition to help anybody and now listen to me: we'll find a weapon for you, I'll bring it here and you have to kill the Source."

"Sounds simple" he whispered in a tone which almost matched his usual sarcasm.

"No, it isn't simple, but it's our only chance!"

"No! Your only chance is to kill me before I turn evil again!" he almost shouted now, but then he started to cough and collapsed back to the floor.

Phoebe just stared at him and stuttered.

"You can't mean this! I won't kill you, never in this life!"

"But you should, because I can't hold on forever. And I'd rather die than give him what he wants."

"What does he want, actually?" she didn't really want to ask this question, but she had to.

"I had closed up some of my memories... before he could catch me. It's about you... and your sisters. Your powers and mostly your weaknesses...And now he wants them."

"You can't commit suicide just to save us" objected Phoebe and she felt tears in her eyes. "You have to fight! We will get the weapon, and than you will be free again."

"This might be the only chance you have to kill the Source..."

"No!"

"If he takes me over he will be just as powerful as he had been before" he continued as if Phoebe hasn't said a word. "And he had been very close to finish you off..."

"Don't you understand?! I won't do it, and there might be a way to save you, so stop this stupidity!" she cried tears running down her face.

Cole seemed taken aback by this outburst of emotion and shut up. He just stared at Phoebe with tired eyes.

"What's your plan then?" he asked after a few minutes quietly.

Phoebe sobbed some more and then explained in a much softer voice.

"Your sister" at this Cole frowned again but didn't say anything "came to us and told what was happening. She says there is a weapon somewhere in the Underworld which you could use to kill Him with. We will get that weapon, and I'll bring it to you."

"How long?"

"Don't know..." she answered sadly.

Cole sighed.

"Promise me one thing..."

"What?" Phoebe asked suspiciously. She feared what he could ask for...

"Two days. After two days you should kill me...

There was so much pleading in his eyes and so much pain. Phoebe couldn't even imagine what he had gone through in the last week. And that eyes got her even if she didn't want to do what she was asked for.

"I promise...I won't let him reign again..." She cried again but she didn't care.

"Thank you. And now go...he usually doesn't leave me alone long..."

She knew what this had to mean and her heart wrenched.

"I'll be back as soon as possible. Hold on, please."

"I'll try..."

They were holding hands during the whole conversation and now Cole was pulling her closer. He kissed her lips gently and it was like a good-bye- kiss. Phoebe wanted to stay with him, but she knew this wasn't the solution. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the charm.

------------------------

They were waiting for Phoebe in the attic. Leo went to ask the Elders about the situation, so there were only the two of them and the demon.

First Piper didn't want to let her in the attic but she really didn't seem to pose a threat. The woman had dark hair and blue eyes just like Cole and she had a beautiful face even if now was worry etched in every line of it. She seemed to be in her late twenties but you could never tell it with demons. The silence started to be really annoying. They've been sitting here now for about twenty minutes and nobody said a word since Leo left.

"So, you are his sister." Piper said, absolutely unnecessary just to say something.

"Yes."

This won't be a great conversation, she thought.

"You know we don't know much about Cole's...past" she stated.

"Maybe you should have asked."

Yes, maybe she was right. Piper has never thought about how hard it must have been for Cole. He tried so hard to fit in the family, but they never really let him. Piper has never told him, but she was quite impressed by his efforts – she would have never thought before that demons could be good if they tried and Cole was the living proof for that. He saved their life many times and risked his own during that. For example with the furies, or before that, when he went back to the Brotherhood, or when the Source wanted to convince her to give up her powers – she couldn't see it of course, but Leo told her. And now... he shouldn't have let the Hollow in himself, and he did it only to save them. And she has never thanked him for that, none of them actually, and they didn't even realized when he needed help.

"Maybe we didn't want to hear his stories about being a killer" put in Paige suddenly.

Rose turned her head in her direction.

"Do you think he wanted it? Do you suppose it was his childhood-dream: being an assassin for the Source of All Evil?"

There wasn't any anger in her voice only sadness. Another thing I've never thought about. Somehow Piper thought it natural that a demon became a killer, she's never supposed that Cole might have wanted anything else.

"He always wanted to live a normal life, but he never managed." Rose continued bitterly and turned away again.

"What do you mean?" a former remark of Rose came to her mind about not letting Cole down again.

"He wanted to leave the Underworld a long time ago, but he failed. Or rather I failed, as always. They could use me against him and he had to continue his job for the Source. It was a terrible time...

Piper would have asked more questions but this moment Phoebe arrived. She just appeared in the circle they had drawn for the charm. She looked desperate but safe and healthy.

"Could you achieve him?" asked Piper, and Rose jumped to the question – apparently she didn't recognize the arrival before.

Phoebe nodded and then started to cry heavily.