A/N: This is an edited (hacked up?) version of the story. See my author profile if you want a link to read the unedited fic.
"We really shouldn't do this anymore," Geddoe murmured predictably.
Ace only smiled. He was in an especially playful mood, even if Geddoe was not, and reached for his lover with no inhibitions.
But Geddoe gently pushed him away. "...I'm serious."
"You're always 'serious'," Ace growled, mocking Geddoe's gruff tone.
"Ace, stop it."
Maybe it was Ged's tone, or maybe it was because of the fact that he'd never told him "stop" before, but Ace did, worried now. "...Is something wrong, Ged?"
"Something... Maybe a lot of things."
Ace sat up, facing Geddoe, his elbows resting on his covered knees. "Talk to me," he said. "Tell me what's wrong." He reached out a hand to touch his lover's back, now that Geddoe was sitting up and facing away from him.
The captain shrugged off his touch, reaching for his clothes.
"Ged...don't go yet. We need to talk about this."
"We're going to," Geddoe agreed, standing as he pulled up his trousers. He turned back to the bed and gestured. "I can't talk to you, though, if you're...like this!"
"Like...what?" Ace asked in a low, sexy tone, pretending not to know. He laid back down, pulling the sheet away to reveal every inch of his lean, hard, muscled body. Ged's knees grew weak.
"Ace...please..."
"I'm waiting," Ace breathed, barely a whisper. He closed his eyes. A moment later, he was back in his lover's arms.
LATER
"What's wrong?" Jacques asked. His captain was being very unresponsive tonight.
"I...feel like...I shouldn't be here." Geddoe sighed, seated shirtless at the round table in his bowman's small bedroom. His companion had poured him a drink upon request; it still sat untouched, a quarter of an hour later.
Jacques smiled softly. "Then maybe you shouldn't be."
Geddoe looked up sharply at the young man who stood across the table from him. He'd been surprised by the reply at first, but then saw the understanding look in the other's gaze. He felt like running to him and throwing his arms around him, begging for the forgiveness he'd already received. "Please don't tell me to leave," he whispered instead.
"I won't, unless you ask me to," Jacques assured him. "But I'm not going to invite you to stay, either. This is entirely up to you; it always has been."
"Then so is the blame," Geddoe muttered, "if I let this go too far." He sighed in exasperation, running his hands through his long, black hair.
Jacques watched the dark, disheveled locks with interest, hiding nothing of the longing he felt. "Of course...you know, if you want to stay...you can." He shrugged and smiled when Geddoe looked up with his eye wide. "And if you want to go," another shrug, "...you can go."
"You're a big help," Geddoe complained. He sighed loudly. "You know I want to stay..."
"You always do."
"But until I tell him it's over..."
"We can't begin," Jacques finished, demonstrating that he had the captain completely figured out.
Geddoe's shoulders sagged dejectedly. He knew what he wanted...but the means to that end would be painful to someone else as well.
"You're right," the captain mumbled. "Until I've completely broken it off with Ace, you and I can't even start."
Jacques cocked his head to the side thoughtfully. "But haven't we already?"
"Haven't we what?"
Jacques laughed softly and moved to stand behind Geddoe. He was wearing a sleeveless white undershirt that clung delectably to his thin frame. His bare arms wrapped warmly around Geddoe's neck from behind. "You're my captain, too, you know," he murmured against the dark hair he so adored.
"Oh, Jacques..." Geddoe sighed, tipping his head back to receive the flow of kisses spilling across his throat and bare shoulder
"I know," Jacques said. "So tell me to stop...Captain..."
"Jacques... We...shouldn't--"
"Captain...leave."
And Geddoe did. At dawn.
LATER
Back in his own room, climbing into his own bed, Ged took a moment to reflect on the figure of another person slumbering. This one was snoring, mouth open wide, a slight frown on his brow. Or was it a wrinkle?
Is that why I'm so attracted to Jacques? the captain had to wonder. Was it only the young man's beautiful countenance he so desired? Is that why he was now rejecting his long-time lover? Because Ace was getting old?
After all they'd been through together, Geddoe knew he should feel some kind of remorse, some awful regret for what he had done. He'd been selfish enough already, hadn't he? Dammit! If not for his actions, Ace wouldn't have been forced out Harmonia like that...but that had been his choice. When it came down to the option of either leaving with Geddoe or living without him, Ace had stayed faithfully by his side. How could he do this to him, after all Ace had sacrificed?
Geddoe tried to make himself upset. But he was far too satisfied to care for anything else for the moment.
"...What are you doing?"
"What do you think I'm doing?" a pair of beautiful eyes laughed back at him.
"...We've said our goodbyes. I won't let you do this to me."
"How ungrateful! Oh, well; guess I'd best get used to it, eh?" Ace walked ahead of him, and Geddoe saw the rucksack slung over his shoulders for the first time since spotting him coming over the hill.
"...Ace--!"
"...Aren't you ready, Sir? The pope said GO, and I intend to!"
Geddoe's lips trembled, and he couldn't hold back his tears, no matter how badly it hurt, trying to cry when he now...
"...Ged..." Ace was next to him in an instant. "I hope you're doing that because you're happy," he frowned, unsure for once that he'd done the right thing.
"Ace," Geddoe sobbed. "I'm so sorry..."
"I'm not, lover," was the return, and Ace's hand was on his cheek, wiping away a streak of warm, salty tears. It was the same tender touch, the same loving gaze, despite Ged's recent deformity...
"Ace... I love you."
"Ace...I love you... I...love you, Ace... I love you! I--"
Geddoe sprang to a sitting position, squinting in the dark. He was dazed for a moment, couldn't figure out where he was...
"Don't stop now!" a man laughed next to him. "I haven't heard you talk that way in quite some time, you know."
Geddoe turned to the man beside him, swallowed. "...I had a dream."
"It's about to come true." Ace threw himself at Geddoe, not taking "no" for an answer.
Funny...no one seemed to be accepting declinations lately.